Sir we have purchased new house which is an hour away but the problem is that she cannot move due to my daughter schooling plus i have many issues professionally,financially,and personal problems and also need to take care of old age parents most of the time i am depressed,frustrated because of all this

Ans: Hello,

I understand that you are facing a complex and emotionally challenging situation in your long-term relationship. It's clear that your girlfriend has expressed a desire for you to be more integrated into her life, including staying in her house with her husband's approval. This is a unique and sensitive situation, and it's important to approach it with care and consideration.

Here are some suggestions to help you navigate this situation:

Open Communication: It's crucial to have an honest and open conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings and concerns. Ask her to clarify her reasons for wanting you to stay in her house. Listen to her perspective and try to understand her motivations better.
Express Your Fears: Share your fears and anxieties about meeting her and staying in her house. Let her know that you feel scared and uneasy about the situation. Honest communication can help both of you gain a better understanding of each other's feelings.
Set Boundaries: Consider discussing boundaries with your girlfriend. If you are uncomfortable with certain aspects of the arrangement, make those boundaries clear. It's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and comfort.
Seek Professional Guidance: You might benefit from seeking the advice of a relationship counselor or therapist. A professional can provide you both with a safe space to explore your feelings and help facilitate communication and understanding between you and your girlfriend.
Self-Reflection: Take some time for self-reflection to understand your own feelings and desires in the relationship. Consider what makes you happy and what you want for your future. This will help you make informed decisions about the relationship.
Consider the Long Term: Think about the long-term implications of your decision. Are there aspects of the relationship that bring you joy and fulfillment? Weigh the pros and cons carefully before making any final decisions.
Consider the Impact on Others: Take into account how your decisions may affect your daughter and other family members. Their input and feelings should also be considered as you navigate this situation.
Decision-Making: Ultimately, the decision regarding the future of your relationship should be based on what feels right for you. It's important to prioritize your own happiness and comfort while being mindful of the feelings of those involved.
Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and happiness. If you feel that this situation is causing you significant fear and discomfort, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and make a decision that aligns with your needs and values.

Remember that you have the right to make choices that are best for you and your well-being, and it's okay to seek support from professionals and loved ones during this challenging time

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The information shared with me is incomplete. Do you live in a joint family with your parents? How come your parents are involved when you spend money. At 47, do you not take charge of your finances? Is that why your wife blames your father due to his interference in your life?
At your age, your family and decisions for your family are yours and your wife's to make even if you live in a joint family. You and your wife must act like a unit to sort out every family challenge and draw clear boundaries with your parents and that will help your wife have space with you. This will also help the two of you to get closer and go through life's ups and downs together.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My question was about whether you still live with your parents or not? That could be a definitive way out to put your marriage back together. Please read this with the previous answer given and again I find a lot of gaps in what you have shared for me to suggest much.
I still will say: The first attempt would be you and your wife wanting this marriage. If you two do not want this relationship based on what you have mentioned, then take appropriate steps towards that. You need to be clear about what you want for anyone to guide you or even you to guide yourself. Writing it down in paper actually helps the process. Ask yourself: What do I want?

All the best!