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Interfaith love: Torn between my parents and my boyfriend. What should I do?

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Aamish Dhingra is a life coach, educationalist and founder of Cocoweave Coaching International, which provides professional training to empower individuals and organisations.
With over seven years of experience in human resources, he specialises in corporate training, life coaching services and team coaching. His expertise lies in solving complex problems, leading innovative projects and delivering impactful solutions that drive growth and transformation.
Aamish completed his BBA (bachelor of business administration) from Amity University and MBA from Jamia Hamdard University, both in Noida.
He holds a PCC (professional certified coach) certification from the International Coaching Federation, USA, and a credentialed practitioner of coaching certification from the International Coach Guild, Australia.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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My parents are friendly and supportive as I'm the single child. But , after telling about my interreligious love they hate me, we did everything for you then why don't think of us?...Actually , I love my parents that means to not love someone? I love my boyfriend as well , the problem is religion difference between us, what society say, religion force on future child, etc etc....they even said to choose between two.... I need both my parents and love.... But my parents care about religion... how to convince them?

Ans: You’re in a tough emotional situation where you love both your parents and your partner, but your parents see this as a conflict. Their reaction is driven by deep-seated beliefs about religion, societal expectations, and the future of your family. Right now, they see your love as a threat to their values rather than an expansion of family bonds. Instead of reacting emotionally or feeling trapped, try to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Start by acknowledging their fears instead of dismissing them. Let them express their concerns, and in return, calmly share your perspective. Reassure them that loving someone from another faith doesn’t mean you are abandoning them or your roots. If they worry about society, show them examples of successful interfaith marriages where both partners have managed to respect each other’s traditions. Address the topic of future children with sensitivity—explain that faith can be a personal choice and that raising children with exposure to both religions can be enriching rather than confusing.
Change takes time, and their resistance is likely coming from fear rather than hatred. Continue to express love and gratitude toward them while standing firm in your decision. If possible, involve a family member, religious elder, or counselor they respect, as an external perspective can sometimes help ease their concerns. Stay patient, and remember that acceptance often comes gradually.
Asked on - Feb 20, 2025 | Not Answered yet
I tried involving family members to convince, but their concern is also religion, they want the boy and future kids to convert and follow our religion only. I consulted counsellor , who also did a interfaith marriage(Hindu-Muslim), he also try to confuse me by saying , interfaith marriage gives lot of pain, there is always confusion between choosing religion for any function for the baby, family will be always suffered. I want my parents to be happy. Me and my bf is always there for them. But, they are not ready to hear my words and no one on my side to convince them..

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Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

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I'm the single child of my parents, I'm catholic christian and my boyfriend is hindu. They are concerned about society, religion and future generation religion will be changed. I love him so much and my family so much. If I leave my parents for my love they will get into trouble as there are no one to console them and if I leave my love , I didn't lead a happy life...struck between these....
Ans: You’re in a difficult position where choosing either side feels like a loss. Your parents are worried about religion, society, and the future of your family, while you are caught between your love for them and your partner. It’s understandable to feel torn, but the key here is finding a way to make them see that this isn’t about choosing one over the other—it’s about creating a life where both can exist.
Your parents’ fears likely stem from societal pressure and uncertainty about how an interfaith marriage will work. Instead of confronting them with frustration, approach them with empathy. Let them know that you respect their concerns but also need them to respect your happiness. Help them see that love and faith are not mutually exclusive, and that you’re committed to finding a way to honor both traditions.
It might take time for them to come around, and they may initially hold on to the idea that you should choose. During this period, keep showing them that you’re still the same person who values them deeply. Over time, consistent love and understanding can help bridge the gap. If they remain firm, the choice ultimately comes down to what will make you happiest in the long run. But before reaching that point, exhaust every effort to help them see your perspective.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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As a single child my parents give me full support and freedom. I made them feel proud in terms of my studies and my extracurricular activities, but after revealing my love with another religion(I'm Christian and he is Hindu),they feel their status ,fame will be gone, they asked me is this the way to honour us?!!, for this only we nourishes and protect you all these years?!!.... These made me feel guilty , is loving person as a single child is too worse?. My love is worth for it, at the same time I have to think of their health condition tooo....I'm in the feel of guilt as the single child is not supposed to love someone especially from other religion!!!
Ans: Loving someone is never a crime, and being a single child does not mean you should sacrifice your happiness just to meet societal or familial expectations. Your parents love you deeply, and their concerns likely stem from fear—fear of societal judgment, fear of losing their reputation, and fear of change. But love is not dishonor, and your choices in life should not be measured only by how well they align with their expectations.

Right now, the guilt you feel is because you have always made them proud, and for the first time, they are questioning your decision. That does not mean you have done something wrong. It simply means their perspective is different from yours, and they are struggling to accept something that challenges their beliefs. But love and respect should not be one-sided. Just as they want you to honor them, they also need to understand that your happiness and your right to choose a life partner matter too.

Instead of seeing this as a battle between love and family, try to have a patient, honest conversation with them. Assure them that your love for them hasn’t changed, and neither has your respect. Help them see the person you love beyond religion. Over time, they might come to accept it, but even if they don’t, you have to ask yourself—will denying your love make you truly happy, or will it only leave you with lifelong regret?

Your happiness is not a betrayal. It is possible to love your parents and also choose the life you want. This is your journey, and while their emotions matter, so do yours.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Career
My husband is out of job since the past 4 years after we came to India following COVID. He was working as Senior Accountant in Dubai and after his company's layoff we shifted base to India. Thought he joined two jobs for a very short time he quit and has been since only applying for job opportunities. Unfortunately he has not been receiving any calls for any interview nor has made any attempts to personally look for any job. I have ever since joined work and is the only breadwinner of the family.My husband doesn't want to contribute anything to the household expenditure except for daughters school fees.He is of the opinion that he has done his contribution earlier when he was working and as I am working need to be responsible for the family. Considering all the circumstances I am confused as none of my advice has any affect on his behaviour. Please advise
Ans: Hi!!
It is nice to know that he is contributing towards the fees of his children! Have you asked him how he is managing it?
The financial responsibility is on both the partners… it doesn’t matter who is at home and who is working. You sit across and discuss how much money comes in and how much money goes out. The how and why of savings for the future is also a joint venture!!
Now with this background decide whether it is enough if one of you works and the other manages everything at home. Segregate work, share responsibility.
Losing a job can be very hard on mental well being, then not finding a fulfilling job can worsen it.
Check whether your husband is truly unwilling to find a job or he has gotten comfortable/ lazy sitting at home.
I am sure you have been married long enough to sit across and talk lovingly with concern and care, and come up with solutions.
Please do not nag…
If nothing works, seek help of a professional!!

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2026
Career
My wife doesn't like dogs. I have two dogs who are like family to me. She screams and disrespects them saying she is scared of them. I am feeling very betrayed because I had mentioned this condition while sending our proposal to her family. It was also written in my matrimonial profile that we have two dogs who stay with us. We rejected so many proposals for this very reason but the family including my wife ignored it and now it is affecting our marriage. It has only been two months and I have to keep my dogs on a leash for the first time. They are deeply hurt and affected. I respect her too but how do I explain to her that my dogs are safe? Everyone in my family is equally concerned but my in-laws feel that dogs should be treated as pets not family. I strongly disagree. If my partner cannot accept my dogs, would it be right to file for divorce? Please help.
Ans: Hi!!
I can empathise with this whole situation at your home!
Let’s start tackling each issue that you have mentioned one by one…
1. There is surely a breach of trust here bfr marriage.. you did mention that your pets are an integral part of the family… you need to sit down and discuss this… find a common ground.This discussion is between you and your wife only.
2. Ask the in- laws to stay out of the discussion about how your family treats pets.
3. Take the pets out of the scenario and check the equation between you and your wife. How much value you attach to this relationship and each other? What lengths will both of you go to ensure that this partnership works?
If it’s a win - win situation, then sit down and chalk out a plan to make it work…
5. Both of you be part of solutions….ask her what was she expecting from you knowing that you are a pet lover and this was a precondition for marriage, yet she went ahead and got married to you…
6.There is no black and white solution here… I am also thinking aloud as I write to you…
After all the heart to heart talk… tell her that tying the dogs is not an option.. they are like children to you! Ask her to come up with solutions… tell her you want the marriage to work..you also from your end try to make her comfortable slowly get her used to the dogs, show her that they are harmless. The fear of dogs can be taken away slowly… consult a psychologist/ marriage counsellor to help you out if your efforts don’t yield results!
7. It’s been just 02 months. Both of you try to make the marriage work . You are both equally responsible for this marriage!!

All the very best!

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