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Interfaith love: Torn between my parents and my boyfriend. What should I do?

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Aamish Dhingra is a life coach, educationalist and founder of Cocoweave Coaching International, which provides professional training to empower individuals and organisations.
With over seven years of experience in human resources, he specialises in corporate training, life coaching services and team coaching. His expertise lies in solving complex problems, leading innovative projects and delivering impactful solutions that drive growth and transformation.
Aamish completed his BBA (bachelor of business administration) from Amity University and MBA from Jamia Hamdard University, both in Noida.
He holds a PCC (professional certified coach) certification from the International Coaching Federation, USA, and a credentialed practitioner of coaching certification from the International Coach Guild, Australia.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My parents are friendly and supportive as I'm the single child. But , after telling about my interreligious love they hate me, we did everything for you then why don't think of us?...Actually , I love my parents that means to not love someone? I love my boyfriend as well , the problem is religion difference between us, what society say, religion force on future child, etc etc....they even said to choose between two.... I need both my parents and love.... But my parents care about religion... how to convince them?

Ans: You’re in a tough emotional situation where you love both your parents and your partner, but your parents see this as a conflict. Their reaction is driven by deep-seated beliefs about religion, societal expectations, and the future of your family. Right now, they see your love as a threat to their values rather than an expansion of family bonds. Instead of reacting emotionally or feeling trapped, try to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Start by acknowledging their fears instead of dismissing them. Let them express their concerns, and in return, calmly share your perspective. Reassure them that loving someone from another faith doesn’t mean you are abandoning them or your roots. If they worry about society, show them examples of successful interfaith marriages where both partners have managed to respect each other’s traditions. Address the topic of future children with sensitivity—explain that faith can be a personal choice and that raising children with exposure to both religions can be enriching rather than confusing.
Change takes time, and their resistance is likely coming from fear rather than hatred. Continue to express love and gratitude toward them while standing firm in your decision. If possible, involve a family member, religious elder, or counselor they respect, as an external perspective can sometimes help ease their concerns. Stay patient, and remember that acceptance often comes gradually.
Asked on - Feb 20, 2025 | Not Answered yet
I tried involving family members to convince, but their concern is also religion, they want the boy and future kids to convert and follow our religion only. I consulted counsellor , who also did a interfaith marriage(Hindu-Muslim), he also try to confuse me by saying , interfaith marriage gives lot of pain, there is always confusion between choosing religion for any function for the baby, family will be always suffered. I want my parents to be happy. Me and my bf is always there for them. But, they are not ready to hear my words and no one on my side to convince them..

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I'm the single child of my parents, I'm catholic christian and my boyfriend is hindu. They are concerned about society, religion and future generation religion will be changed. I love him so much and my family so much. If I leave my parents for my love they will get into trouble as there are no one to console them and if I leave my love , I didn't lead a happy life...struck between these....
Ans: You’re in a difficult position where choosing either side feels like a loss. Your parents are worried about religion, society, and the future of your family, while you are caught between your love for them and your partner. It’s understandable to feel torn, but the key here is finding a way to make them see that this isn’t about choosing one over the other—it’s about creating a life where both can exist.
Your parents’ fears likely stem from societal pressure and uncertainty about how an interfaith marriage will work. Instead of confronting them with frustration, approach them with empathy. Let them know that you respect their concerns but also need them to respect your happiness. Help them see that love and faith are not mutually exclusive, and that you’re committed to finding a way to honor both traditions.
It might take time for them to come around, and they may initially hold on to the idea that you should choose. During this period, keep showing them that you’re still the same person who values them deeply. Over time, consistent love and understanding can help bridge the gap. If they remain firm, the choice ultimately comes down to what will make you happiest in the long run. But before reaching that point, exhaust every effort to help them see your perspective.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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As a single child my parents give me full support and freedom. I made them feel proud in terms of my studies and my extracurricular activities, but after revealing my love with another religion(I'm Christian and he is Hindu),they feel their status ,fame will be gone, they asked me is this the way to honour us?!!, for this only we nourishes and protect you all these years?!!.... These made me feel guilty , is loving person as a single child is too worse?. My love is worth for it, at the same time I have to think of their health condition tooo....I'm in the feel of guilt as the single child is not supposed to love someone especially from other religion!!!
Ans: Loving someone is never a crime, and being a single child does not mean you should sacrifice your happiness just to meet societal or familial expectations. Your parents love you deeply, and their concerns likely stem from fear—fear of societal judgment, fear of losing their reputation, and fear of change. But love is not dishonor, and your choices in life should not be measured only by how well they align with their expectations.

Right now, the guilt you feel is because you have always made them proud, and for the first time, they are questioning your decision. That does not mean you have done something wrong. It simply means their perspective is different from yours, and they are struggling to accept something that challenges their beliefs. But love and respect should not be one-sided. Just as they want you to honor them, they also need to understand that your happiness and your right to choose a life partner matter too.

Instead of seeing this as a battle between love and family, try to have a patient, honest conversation with them. Assure them that your love for them hasn’t changed, and neither has your respect. Help them see the person you love beyond religion. Over time, they might come to accept it, but even if they don’t, you have to ask yourself—will denying your love make you truly happy, or will it only leave you with lifelong regret?

Your happiness is not a betrayal. It is possible to love your parents and also choose the life you want. This is your journey, and while their emotions matter, so do yours.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11156 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41, earning 1.6L/month, dependent family with a kid of 9 years. Home loan of 43L, emi 50k + 10 k part payment every month. SIP : 33k/month accumulated to 12 L Shares : 25 L ESOP : 10 L MF : 15 L Expense : 50 k EPF 12k/month Corporate health insurance. No term insurance, as company sponsoring 50L term insurance. Kindly guide me any improvements in the current strategy and an approach for passive income which would turn into active after the corporate career .
Ans: You have built a strong base already. Your income, savings habit, and discipline in loan repayment are very good. With some fine-tuning, you can move from “stable” to “financially independent with choice”.

» Current Financial Position – Healthy but Slightly Unbalanced

Income vs expense gap is strong. You save well.
Good mix of assets: MF + shares + ESOP + EPF
Home loan is under control with part prepayment – this is a big positive
However, risk protection and asset allocation need correction

» Risk Protection – Immediate Gap

You are depending only on company term insurance (Rs 50L)
This is risky because it stops if you change job or lose job

You should:

Take a personal term insurance of at least Rs 1.5 to 2 Cr
Keep corporate cover as backup, not primary

Health insurance:

Corporate cover is good, but add a personal family floater policy
Reason: continuity after retirement or job change

» Emergency Fund – Must Improve

You have not mentioned a clear emergency fund
Your EMI + expense is ~Rs 1 lakh/month

You should:

Maintain at least 6 months = Rs 6 lakh in liquid form
Keep in savings + liquid mutual fund

» Asset Allocation – Needs Rebalancing
Your current structure:

Shares (Rs 25L) + ESOP (Rs 10L) = high company/market risk
MF (Rs 15L) + SIP (Rs 33k/month) = good
EPF = stable

Concern:

Too much concentration in equity and ESOP
ESOP risk is double – job + investment in same company

You should:

Gradually reduce ESOP exposure over time
Move that into diversified mutual funds
Keep equity but reduce concentration risk

» Loan Strategy – Good but Balance Needed

EMI Rs 50k + Rs 10k prepayment is disciplined

But:

Do not over-prioritise loan closure at the cost of investments

Balanced approach:

Continue EMI
Reduce part payment slightly if it affects investments
Equity over long term can give better growth than loan interest saved

» Investment Strategy – Strengthen for Goals
You are investing well, but need structure:

Separate investments by goals:
Child education (9 years left)
Retirement (15–20 years)
Continue SIP but:
Increase SIP by 5–10% every year
Focus on diversified, actively managed funds
Avoid over-exposure to direct stocks unless you track regularly

» Passive Income to Active Income Transition
This is where you need clarity now (very important stage)

Phase 1 – Build Passive Income

Grow MF corpus steadily
Add some debt allocation closer to retirement
Aim for income-generating corpus

Phase 2 – Convert to Semi-Active
Choose one path based on your interest:

Financial knowledge → advisory / consulting
Skill-based → teaching / coaching / freelance
Business → small scalable service

Key idea:

Start part-time before leaving job
Build income slowly for 3–5 years

» Retirement Direction – Early Planning Advantage

You are 41, so you have time
Your discipline is your biggest strength

You should:

Define retirement age clearly (say 55 or 60)
Build a corpus that can replace at least 70–80% of income
Gradually reduce risk 5–7 years before retirement

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

Continue using EPF as safe component
For mutual funds:
Hold long term to benefit from lower tax (above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%)
Avoid frequent churning

» Finally

Protect first (term + health insurance)
Build emergency fund
Reduce ESOP concentration risk
Keep investing consistently and increase yearly
Start building second income stream now, not later

If you follow this path, your shift from salary income to independent income will be smooth and stress-free.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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