Is it normal if you don’t miss your partner anymore? I recently noticed that when my partner leaves for work or long travel, I feel nothing. When we were dating, I used to feel so emotional. I would cry a lot, miss him for days. Now, I feel nothing. No relief, no longing, no irritation, just emotional blankness. This scares me more than arguments ever did. Does it mean our love is slowly dying?

Ans: Hi. I understand your frustration. It's completely natural to miss the early stage of romantic intensity in a long-term relationship.

And you're right, romance is an important part of a healthy marriage. It's perfectly valid to want to reignite that spark.

Here are some steps you can take to help your husband understand your concerns:

Communicate effectively

Focus on feelings, not accusations: Instead of saying "You're not romantic anymore!", share how his lack of romantic gestures makes you feel -- unloved, unappreciated, disconnected, unhappy, lonely, ...

Use "I" statements: Express your desire for more romance using phrases like "I would really appreciate it if...." or "I miss when we used to...." so that he does not feel he has to defend himself.

Actively listen to his perspective: Try to understand why he sees things differently. Perhaps work stress is affecting him or he does not know how to express his love differently.

Choose the right time and place: Avoid bringing it up when you're both tired or stressed. Pick a calm moment for a sincere conversation.

Brainstorm together

Instead of demanding specific gestures, discuss what "romance" means to both of you and brainstorm different ways he can express his love that resonate with you.

Schedule "romance time"

Block out dedicated time for romantic activities, even if it's just 30 minutes a week. Take turns planning dates, trying new things or revisiting activities you enjoyed earlier.

Acknowledge his efforts

Appreciate his non-romantic actions that show he cares, like sharing housework. Let him know these actions contribute to your overall feeling of love and security.

Consider professional help

If communication becomes difficult or you struggle to find common ground, consider seeking couples therapy. A therapist can provide a safe space for you both to express your needs and work towards solutions.

You’d get professional help when you are unwell or to file your taxes for example. Why not try it here as well if needed?

Remember:

Love evolves: While the initial passion may change, a deep and meaningful love can grow stronger over time. Focus on nurturing that deeper connection alongside rekindling romantic gestures.

It's a two-way street: Be willing to put in effort as well. Show your appreciation for him, plan romantic gestures for him and be open to his ideas for expressing love.

Be patient: Rebuilding romance takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate small victories and focus on the progress you make together.

Your sister might not fully understand your perspective but your feelings are valid. Don't give up on the romance; instead, find new ways to keep it alive in your marriage.

All the best.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honeymoon period over and then real life takes over. Responsibilities at work and at home need time and attention and also the involvement of both partners.
Now, add children into the picture and then raising them in a digital age; that's again a lot of challenges, right?
Next, caring for aged parents...
Responsibilities can rob the romance out of marriages and relationships. But with proper understanding between both partners, even during tough times, it is possible to find a silver lining.
So, put in simple words, as the relationship grows, responsibilities increase and this can cause a dent in the love life of partners. Becoming aware that this is an inevitable phase in any marriage/relationship, the couple can still act as one unit and face struggles and support one another. Love can actually increase, you know?
But, only if the couple does not resort to blame game and passing the buck. A lot of movies show this aptly with much bickering and struggles.

The key to a sound relationship is to step in and show up at all times and be committed to working together in difficult times and happy times as well...possible? Yes, possible as long as the couple make that level of commitment! That's what you actually see in couples who still are going strong 30-40 years after marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Start by creating opportunities for meaningful interaction. Sometimes the daily routines and responsibilities can create emotional walls, so finding a calm and positive environment for conversation is key. You might begin by sharing your feelings in a way that emphasizes your own experience rather than pointing out what your partner might not be doing. For example, saying something like, "I've been feeling a little disconnected lately, and I miss the closeness we used to share," opens the door for dialogue without sounding accusatory.

Rekindling intimacy often starts with small, intentional efforts to reestablish connection. This might mean setting aside time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation at the end of the day. Look for moments to express appreciation for your partner, as this can help rebuild emotional warmth and remind them of the value they bring to your life.

It’s also worth reflecting on whether external stresses might be contributing to the distance. If either of you has been overwhelmed by work, family, or personal challenges, addressing those together can foster a sense of partnership and mutual support. Similarly, revisiting shared memories or engaging in activities you used to enjoy together can help reignite the bond you once had.

Lastly, be patient and consistent. Emotional intimacy doesn’t always come back instantly, but with genuine effort, kindness, and an open heart, you can rebuild the connection over time. Consider it a journey you’re embarking on together, rather than something you need to fix alone. If you feel like external guidance might help, discussing this with a couples therapist could provide both of you with tools to strengthen your relationship in a supportive environment.

Ans: Hello mam...there is a lot of room gor counselling. We will talk about it. This could be a phase also due to overburden. You may have started feeling more like parents more than a couple. Take some time out. May be just start with a cup of tea together or having breakfast together. Just ask him after coming from office that how was his day. If you can help him in some way. Talk about positive things more. Avoid complaints of children or anything else. This will work out and spark will come back.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet