Some people fall out of love with their partners after 10-12(not precisely) years of marriage while others still crave for their partners even after the time period in marriage. Why this happens and what can we conclude from it (we know that most of the relationships fall into routine after this much period of time) ?

Ans:

I’m sorry to burst your bubble, M, but love isn’t always forever. It can change and people do fall out of love. Ergo break-ups and divorce.

I understand that your boyfriend having moved on so fast has hurt you, but that happens sometimes.

Don’t waste too much time pining over someone who didn’t deserve you.

You should make an effort to move on too.

Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am doing well, thank you.
Now, why are you getting into the WHYs and WHATs and HOWs? This will be useful if you are researching this subject for your thesis. There is no rule or law that proves that girls are like this and boys are like that. The way LOVE happens is based on a situation, how much of compatibility exists between the couple, how much the values match and much more...If everything or almost all match, irrespective of being a boy or a girl, Love can blossom quickly.

When you see situations where cheating happens or someone falls out of love quickly, it only suggests that there was no love to begin with. It was something that satisfied them for that moment or a short while and when she/he gets bored, they will move onto another person.
Why you see more girls doing this is perhaps you are looking for cases to prove what you are thinking is right. It is not based on gender but on the reason why people/a couple get together. If the reason is beyond looks, money and other superficial things, it will last for a much longer time.
So, there's no truth or lies BUT the fact of WHAT builds love and trust between a couple that defines their being together or not.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Simply put, a car moves only if all the wheels move together.
Marriage/relationship moves only if both partners move together. Sometimes, you encounter differences and then instead of blaming, you work together as one unit to resolve it.
So, instead of putting an age to a relationship, just work with the concept that: For any relationship to work, the people involved in it must want it for almost the same reasons and are willing to work their differences to keep the institution functioning well.
And you end up seeing this in people who are well settled in their marriages for a long time which means they have put in a lot of work into it. But that doesn't mean all marriages/relationships that have been going on for a while are working out well. People are good at hiding things like this. So, focusing on making a relationship work together may work better rather than thinking of what time point the marriage is at!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/