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Single Man, 36, Struggles to Find Love: What Could Be the Reason?

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I'm soon to be 36 M, unmarried and never had any relationship in all my years, I have registered myself with many matrimony sites and have been searching for a girl or maybe a woman now, for last 5 or 6 years. My problem is that most girls in matrimonial reject me out right for reason like looks, money/property, age, etc, now I have asked some of my friends discreetly about my looks and I'm very confident about myself, also I know I do earn good bucks, despite that I don't understand what could be possible reason to not even have a single conversation before they reject someone. I have even tried my hands on dating apps, but I have not had success there as well. Some time I feel worthless and have breakdowns because of this. I don't have anyone to share this with and I know no one cares about it anyway as everyone has their own problem and you will be the last thing in their mind. I know the answer I'm going to get here - "keep trying", "life is not fair" etc, but I feel this is total crap, why does no women want a man who would respect her and care for her, why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating. After all this, I'm losing hope that I'll find my or any love in this world.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I agree what's happening to you is not fair, and however you are feeling right now, it is valid. But having said that, you can't justify saying "why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating." These are entirely different and serious matters. Do not trivialize them. Rejecting a man who would've loved her does not automatically mean the woman deserves to find a man who should cheat, beat, or abuse her.

Now, coming to your issue, rejection comes for several reasons; it doesn't necessarily have to do anything with your appearance. Since you mentioned getting rejected even before a conversation, my first guess would be that the profile might not be standing out in the crowd of profiles out there. You can try adding hints of humor to your BIO to make it more attractive. Use the 70-30 method in your Bio, where 70% of it showcases you as a person and the remaining 30 subtly indicates your version of an ideal partner. Additionally, try optimizing your DP and select something that shows your fun side.

But I would like to remind you that not everyone's love story runs at the same pace; some take time to start. I know you think it's cliched but people say it because it has truth to it- keep going; I am sure you will find someone.

Best Wishes.

RelationshipReply

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Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hello Gurus! I am 40 yr divorced NRI man in the UK. I have a 10 yr old son and he lives with his mum in a different country. I have visitation rights and I meet him regularly. I have been divorced for 6 years now. I have been trying to date since last 5 years and it has been quite a frustrating experience. I do not want to jump to Matrimonial Sites as I would prefer to date someone to know them better before deciding to settle in a committed relationship. Also, there are many frauds on the Matrimonial Sites. My challenge is that most of the single women in the age range of 36 – 42 that I have met in last 5 yrs is that either they have unstable career and looking for someone to depend upon or if they have a career, they are arrogant and unruly. Though I look decent, I don’t have looks as a criteria. I worry sometimes if will I ever find love and affection in my life. Apart from the dating apps, where else do you suggest I could try to meet decent and normal woman?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.

Best Wishes!

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Question by Navin - Jul 25, 2024Hindi

Relationship

hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on

Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 32 year old male. I have contentment in all major aspects of life such as job, money, friends, family, fun etc. But everytime I try to bring a girl into my life everything just turns in to chaos. There is a lot of pressure from from family, friends and almost everyone that I know for me to get married. But I cannot accept just anyone in my life through matrimony sites or references. I am afraid that the hard work that I have put in all these years to make my life comfortable will be shaken up by marriage. I cannot choose people by their attributes but have to just develop a liking for them. Similarly I have no interest in how a girl looks, what job she does or any material aspects. I am happy with someone who choses me completely and is committed to me. Unfortunately I couldn't find anyone such and I am in the phase of saying no to marriage completely as life is good as it is. I had a girlfriend when I was 25 and she left me after 5 years of relationship because her parents did not accept which I respected. Could connect with anyone else until this year who also left me after an year because her parents will not agree as my parents are not rich enough. I cannot connect with anyone else physically or emotionally. I think it's injustice to the woman I marry if I marry her just for the sake of society. I am completely confused, could you please share your expertise on this. Thanks in advance!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's amazing how you are putting other people's needs over yours. That's very selfless of you. If you don't feel you are ready to commit, there is no rush; no matter what people say. I understand that societal pressure can be very tough, but as you said, being in an incompatible relationship will be tougher on both you and the woman. All I can say here is wait. You are content with your life, and that is more than most people have. Focus on that. Make it even better. If and when the time is right, you will meet someone, and things will fall into place. It might sound cliche, but trust me, this is the best thing to do. Again, I repeat, do not give in to peer pressure. No good things can come out of it.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024

Relationship

I am 40 year old Man and single. Deprived of sex, emotional attachment, and companionship. Have made my profile in many marriage websites since a decade but things are not working out. I am earning a salary of around 9 lakhs per annum and often think tht my salary is a constraint for female to get married to me. I am educated i have done my MBA marketing and also have a Hotel Management degree. Please advice what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Gyms, open parks, theater groups, dance classes, expressive art classes...the list is endless...you can definitely find like-minded women here who obviously may not be looking for a relationship. So, start by being friends and please hold your horses on making the first move as many times, a woman is happy just having you as a friend. Don't lose hope; but be a bit restrained in your approach. Now, I have no clue why with an MBA, you can't find something that pays you better...that information I don't have...so, find ways to find a place that appreciates your skill and that can pay you better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1837 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Murari - Dec 05, 2025Hindi

Career

Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.

Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Dentist - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Visu - Aug 01, 2025Hindi

Health

I am 61. I have a partial removable denture(upper). I also have bridges in both upper and lower. I was suggested to go for implants. Will it be okay to go for implants at a later part of the life. Is it safe both health and moneywise ? Will it be cheaper if we go for full implant with 4 in one ; if so it may need to wait for few more year let other teeth will also fall.. Please guide and advise on implants

Ans: Hello

Please be assured, AGE isn't a barrier for implants. But overall health is a factor. Your dentist will assess your bone density, gum health, and general medical history before he places your implants.

Implants have some definite advantages over removable dentures. They provide a stable and secure fit, improved chewing and speech.
And with proper care may last for 10-15 years or more.
On the negative side, upfront cost of implants can be higher, surgery cannot be avoided and healing can take 3-6 months.

Cost-wise, Implants can be more cost-effective in the long run.
"All-on-4" implants might be cheaper than individual implants, but waiting might lead to deterioration of bone health, making the process more complex.

Consult your dentist about:
- Your specific oral health situation
- Bone density scan (to check if you have enough bone for implants)
- Cost estimates and financing options
- Timeline for the procedure.

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Dentist - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2025Hindi

Health

My 12 year old son has 2 parallel lines of teeth. One front and the other behind. So far in the behind only 2 teeths are there one in each side. Will this cause any serious issues for him? He has speech problem. Could this be the reason? Does he need to take any immediate corrective procedure?

Ans: Hello
This situation of "2 parallel lines of teeth" arises when permanent teeth erupt BEFORE the deciduous teeth (or milk teeth) have been shed. This indicates a mis-alignment of the permanent teeth. The shedding of milk teeth is dependent on the permanent teeth exerting pressure on them as they grow.
This mis-alignment, indeed, could be the cause of his speech problem.
My advice to you is to consult a competent pediatric dentist or an orthodontist (a dentist who realigns crooked teeth) soon so that corrective measures can be taken.

Dr Shyam Jamalabad |108 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dentist - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi

Health

My front teeth is broken I fell down from my bike while dog is chasing me . I went to dentist i got broken teeth cemented . dentist advised me not to chew anything with cemented teeth it's a life time instruction. It is very discomfort to me .Is there any treatment such that I can chew even with repaired tooth

Ans: Hi.,
Sorry to hear about your fall and the resultant damage to your teeth.
Honestly, it's best to follow your dentist's advice, but I understand your problem. Eating can be a challenge.
Please ask your dentist about sturdier alternatives like dental crowns or bridges. These can provide extra protection and might let you chew more comfortably.

In the meantime, stick to soft foods which do not put pressure on your compromised teeth, or soups. You can also try cutting your food into smaller pieces to reduce pressure on the tooth.

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Pramod - Dec 05, 2025Hindi

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Student of 1st yr ECE BIT Mesra,should apply for branch change to CSE,IT,AI&ML considering future job security etc.

Ans: In future CSE,IT,AI&ML jobs will be more than ECE jobs, but job security is different. For job security you have to aim govt. jobs

Ulhas Joshi |280 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Ganesh - Dec 03, 2025Hindi

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Hello Sir/Mam, Currently I'm investing in SIP as per below for the last 3 years, my goal is to achieve 2 crores by the next 10 years. Please suggest me if these MFs are good or any rebalancing is required. I'm planning to increase the SIP by 10% each year. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 5K Aditya Birla SF BAF - 2K SBI Large & Midcap - 5K Quant Small Cap - 3K SBI Gold Fund - Growth - 5K Canara Robeco Large cap - 5K Thanks.

Ans: Hello & thanks for writing to me.

Your portfolio is well-allocated across flexicap, large & midcap, small cap, BAF and gold, offering a balanced mix of growth, stability and diversification.

Given your 10-year horizon, keeping a higher allocation towards flexicap and large & midcap funds is appropriate, as these categories help manage volatility while still capturing long-term growth. The small-cap exposure adds additional long-term growth potential, while the Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF) provides stability through its dynamic asset allocation. Your gold allocation further supports diversification and can cushion the portfolio during equity market stress.

At this stage, no major rebalancing is needed. Since you plan to increase your SIPs by 10% every year, directing this additional amount mainly towards your flexicap or large & midcap fund will further strengthen the core of your portfolio over time.

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Question by Thamizh - Dec 04, 2025Hindi

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Ans: Multiple categories are there. Marks and rank vary with that.

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, My husband doesn't do house chores. We both work full-time, but I still end up cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. When I ask for help, my partner will say, ‘Just tell me what to do,’ but then he conveniently forgets. Maybe he doesn't like it or he is genuinely forgetful. I have tried many ways to make him explain. Once I only did my share of laundry to make him realise but he simply ignored. Every week this pattern repeats. Is this normal? How can married couples divide responsibilities fairly to avoid fights?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Every home has a different routine and share of responsibilities. So, there's no standard norm to challenge it as normal or not!
So, if you want your husband to pitch in, then say it in clear terms, especially since he has told you to tell him what to do.
Once you have told him, do make sure to ask him: Will you find it convenient to do it now or later? If later, when?
This will ensure that he makes a statement of commitment, so there's no question of forgetting it, right? Play it smart...it's better than feeling bad about the situation or mulling over why something does not work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Question by Santosh - Oct 20, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Feeling alone in the world and iam not having any close friends everybody is busy with their works and family, help me what to do

Ans: Dear Santosh,
Everybody has a life and so do you; build your life the way that you want...
Start attending weekend events or any social gathering in the city/town that you live in; even a smile or a hi, hello can be start to a good association when you can further discuss and chat on mutual interests and hobbies.
A humble effort in this direction can change the state that you are in.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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