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Single Man, 36, Struggles to Find Love: What Could Be the Reason?

Ravi Mittal |423 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I'm soon to be 36 M, unmarried and never had any relationship in all my years, I have registered myself with many matrimony sites and have been searching for a girl or maybe a woman now, for last 5 or 6 years. My problem is that most girls in matrimonial reject me out right for reason like looks, money/property, age, etc, now I have asked some of my friends discreetly about my looks and I'm very confident about myself, also I know I do earn good bucks, despite that I don't understand what could be possible reason to not even have a single conversation before they reject someone. I have even tried my hands on dating apps, but I have not had success there as well. Some time I feel worthless and have breakdowns because of this. I don't have anyone to share this with and I know no one cares about it anyway as everyone has their own problem and you will be the last thing in their mind. I know the answer I'm going to get here - "keep trying", "life is not fair" etc, but I feel this is total crap, why does no women want a man who would respect her and care for her, why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating. After all this, I'm losing hope that I'll find my or any love in this world.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I agree what's happening to you is not fair, and however you are feeling right now, it is valid. But having said that, you can't justify saying "why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating." These are entirely different and serious matters. Do not trivialize them. Rejecting a man who would've loved her does not automatically mean the woman deserves to find a man who should cheat, beat, or abuse her.

Now, coming to your issue, rejection comes for several reasons; it doesn't necessarily have to do anything with your appearance. Since you mentioned getting rejected even before a conversation, my first guess would be that the profile might not be standing out in the crowd of profiles out there. You can try adding hints of humor to your BIO to make it more attractive. Use the 70-30 method in your Bio, where 70% of it showcases you as a person and the remaining 30 subtly indicates your version of an ideal partner. Additionally, try optimizing your DP and select something that shows your fun side.

But I would like to remind you that not everyone's love story runs at the same pace; some take time to start. I know you think it's cliched but people say it because it has truth to it- keep going; I am sure you will find someone.

Best Wishes.

RelationshipReply

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Ravi Mittal |423 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hello Gurus! I am 40 yr divorced NRI man in the UK. I have a 10 yr old son and he lives with his mum in a different country. I have visitation rights and I meet him regularly. I have been divorced for 6 years now. I have been trying to date since last 5 years and it has been quite a frustrating experience. I do not want to jump to Matrimonial Sites as I would prefer to date someone to know them better before deciding to settle in a committed relationship. Also, there are many frauds on the Matrimonial Sites. My challenge is that most of the single women in the age range of 36 – 42 that I have met in last 5 yrs is that either they have unstable career and looking for someone to depend upon or if they have a career, they are arrogant and unruly. Though I look decent, I don’t have looks as a criteria. I worry sometimes if will I ever find love and affection in my life. Apart from the dating apps, where else do you suggest I could try to meet decent and normal woman?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.

Best Wishes!

Shalini Singh |138 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am from Bangalore earning decent salary, having own house,..29yrs average look but athletic body... Still unable to find girl for marriage.. And many request have come in matrimony sites but all are deadly opposite of my requirements (I mean there requirements)... And I am unable to chat openly with any girls I feel they may be not comfortable and end up in saying all the best for your future... Any some opinion or suggestions

Ans: check out singles community, be part of it, learn and observe + build your self confidence. Feel good about yourself and you will find your person.

Ravi Mittal |423 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Question by Navin - Jul 25, 2024Hindi

Relationship

hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on

Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1312 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024

Relationship

I am 40 year old Man and single. Deprived of sex, emotional attachment, and companionship. Have made my profile in many marriage websites since a decade but things are not working out. I am earning a salary of around 9 lakhs per annum and often think tht my salary is a constraint for female to get married to me. I am educated i have done my MBA marketing and also have a Hotel Management degree. Please advice what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Gyms, open parks, theater groups, dance classes, expressive art classes...the list is endless...you can definitely find like-minded women here who obviously may not be looking for a relationship. So, start by being friends and please hold your horses on making the first move as many times, a woman is happy just having you as a friend. Don't lose hope; but be a bit restrained in your approach. Now, I have no clue why with an MBA, you can't find something that pays you better...that information I don't have...so, find ways to find a place that appreciates your skill and that can pay you better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7070 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Question by Deepak - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Money

Sir, in how many years , I can turn 1crore to 20 crore.So that I can retire.Im investing about 1.35lakh as sip every month . Im 44 now . I have about 60 lakh iin different funds now, im hoping to reach a crore 2026.Thanks in advance.

Ans: To achieve a corpus of Rs 20 crore with your current financial inputs, let's break it down step by step:

Your Current Investments and SIP Plan
Current Investment: Rs 60 lakh (expected to grow to Rs 1 crore by 2026).
Monthly SIP Contribution: Rs 1.35 lakh.
Expected Rate of Return: 12% annually.
Timeframe to Reach Rs 20 Crore
With a starting corpus of Rs 1 crore (by 2026) and continuing a SIP of Rs 1.35 lakh monthly at 12%, it will take 23 years to grow to Rs 20 crore.
By the time you turn 67 years old, your desired retirement corpus can be achieved.

Key Assumptions
The 12% return assumption is realistic for equity-heavy portfolios. However, past performance is no guarantee for the future.
The SIP contributions should continue consistently without interruption for the given timeframe.
Inflation and changing lifestyle expenses are not considered here.

Points to Consider
Diversify Your Investments: Ensure your portfolio includes a mix of equity and debt. Adjust allocations as you approach retirement to reduce risk.

Monitor Progress Regularly: Periodically review your investments and returns. Rebalancing may be necessary to stay aligned with your goal.

Increase SIP Contributions Gradually: With rising income, consider increasing your SIPs by 5-10% annually to reduce the timeframe.

Emergency Fund and Insurance: Ensure you have a robust emergency fund and sufficient term insurance to secure your family.

High-Level Suggestion
We can fine-tune the investment strategy and assess the risks involved in detail.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |140 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Question by muthukumaran - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Career

My Son is studying B.TECH.,Electricals and electronics in SRM,Kattangulathur with 9 cgpa...can you please advise intern ship...

Ans: Let him try for internship through his Training and Placement cell of SRM. Generally it is done in the pre final year. Just follow me. All the best. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor...................:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |140 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Career

I'm 49 years old woman. I did my Bsc Agriculture in 1998. Afterthat did MBA through distance mode and Did Msc biotechnology in 2021 thro distance mode. I have worked in Banking sector From 2005 for 2 years after that worked in different Agriculture sector till Feb 2020. After that quit my job. Presently I'm in strong thinking of doing CS executive and Professional. And also I m preparing now and registered for that. I want to know whether it's good decision to do at this age and get success. I want to know your advice regarding this. Thank you.

Ans: First I would like to express my respect for your self-motivation, age is not the factor. People having age more than 60 are learning new courses, whereas you are only 48. Just go for CS executive and Professional. All the best. Be in touch. Just follow me. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor........................................:)

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |140 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Question by Punit - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir I am 1st year student in nit kurukshetra AI Data Science student. Please suggest me some online courses which will help me to prepare myself for future.

Ans: Right now I won't suggest any online course. Let you complete your 1st year, then we will discuss on that. Best of luck. Just follow me. Best of Luck. Professor.................................:)

Milind Vadjikar |663 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi Sir, I’m a 33yo male seeking your guidance on investments. We're expecting ?16 lakh from the maturity of a ULIP and a chit fund. Could you advise whether it'd be better to invest this amount in a POS monthly scheme, SWP or FD? We intend to use this as income for my parents, who are both 60+ and agriculturists. Looking forward to your suggestions, thank you????

Ans: Hello;

SCSS would be better due to higher interest rate (8.2%) but flipside is quarterly interest payments.

In that case POMIS looks optimal.

Both these schemes are backed by GOI so no fear of capital loss but they have tenure only of 5 years ofcourse you can always reinvest again but the rate of interest may not be the same.

Think about immediate annuity (joint) for life with return of purchase price to their nominee (you).

Annuity rates may not be higher but you have monthly fixed income assurance at a defined rate for your retired life.

FDs with public sector banks or very big private banks can also be considered but here again most banks offer maximum 5 year tenure with prospect of reinvestment risk.

SWP is not suited here.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |663 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hello sir I am 26 years old and I am investing 1k in quant infrastructure cap, 2k in Tata small cap, 1k in Tata Mid cap, 1k in HDFC life fund, 1k Is it good for long term like 30 years. Plz advice me

Ans: Hello;

To begin with, this is okay but you need to top-up the sip amount by
10-15 % each year diligently.

Also review performance of funds annually.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

Ravi Mittal |423 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello, I have been married for 8yrs now and my wife has been talking to her ex boyfriend secretly since the time we've been married. I've raised this issue with her several times promised to stop but no change. Eventually 2yrs ago I brought it to the attention of our family but still no change. Recent deleted communication was 19th October, 2024. At this I am disappointed with myself for not managing this embarrassing situation and the only question that remains in my mind is "What to do"... please advise me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since it's bothering you so much, I am guessing that these communications have a romantic undertone to them. I am sorry you are going through this. But please try to have an open discussion with her, without assigning blame or judgment. Ask her what is lacking in the marriage that she needs to reach out to her ex; it will help you get to the root of the matter and work on it from there. Let her know that these interactions are extremely hurtful to you and it is also unacceptable. You can also see a marriage counselor to resolve things in a more structured way.

Best wishes.

Ravi Mittal |423 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi

Relationship

why do i feel attracted to girls

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure how to answer this but attraction is a very personal thing. It is shaped by biology, human experiences, preferences, and emotions. In most cases, attraction is not a bad thing. I am not sure why this raises questions in your mind, but it is important to navigate these feelings without judgment. Be kind to yourself and others while you figure things out.

Best Wishes.

Ashwini Dasgupta |87 Answers |Ask -Follow

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Question by Gayathri - Oct 10, 2024Hindi

Career

Dear ma'am/sir, I am 30 years old. I am an experienced English teacher. I find my job quite stressful and hectic since I work in a private school with very very low payment. I have plans to quit the job and look for better opportunities, like IT or other sectors communication related. Kindly guide me...

Ans: Dear Gayatri,

First understand which industry your interests is in.
Understand any shift you will do it will be from scratch that means you need to have patience until you built it
If you interest lies in the IT industry understand your skills (do SWOT analysis) and see basis your skills what value add can you bring.
Upgrade your skills as per the industry by taking up few courses

Hope this helps

Thanks
Ashwini
www.ashwinidasgupta.com
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or attitude?

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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