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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |585 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 25+ years of old. Earning a handsome ammount of money arround 1lakh. I am a introvert, kind of kanjus you can say. I don't have any gf. I had one one one-sided relationship but because of low self confidence I didn't able to express my feelings. I don't feel myself as a ugly person but I am over waight, facing hair fall recently that's why I lose confidence approaching girls. I tried few dating apps but use. As I am a introvert I don't like to go to parties but definitely become comfortable after knowing the other person. Currently in Bangalore but being from a remote area I don't feel comfortable approaching a girl. What should I do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how you are feeling. First of all, you are not alone in this. Secondly, it's time you recognize how much you have achieved in life. Kudos to that.

Now, coming to your concern, being an introvert is not an issue, though it comes with its own set of challenges. I understand that you feel shy when it comes to talking to women. That's where dating apps come in. You have seen no results on them; I hear you. But give it another try, but this time, with a fool-proof strategy. First off, write an appealing bio. It's equivalent to writing a cover letter- you put forward your best attributes and convince people why they should date you. You can mention your achievements, you can be honest and disclose that you are an introvert, mention what you have to offer as a partner and don't forget to mention what you are looking for in your partner. This would give your potential matches a concise idea of you and also help attract the right people. Second, display image matters. While I am not encouraging you to put up an over-edited picture hiding your imperfections, do not put up the worst one either. Make sure it's recent, decent, and of you and you alone, and not in a group. Third, if you like somebody, don't be afraid to send a message. You are not committing to them, nor do you have to see them in person. Leave a message, interact, only if things go well, meet in person. There's no rush and no prior commitment. Fourth and the most important one, be patient. The right match can take a while but when you do find them, it will be worth the wait.

Best Wishes!

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hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on
Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8342 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
Greetings!!!! I am 43 years Old, I had started 10k per month TATA AIA SIP in previous year for total 7years Plan. I want to education plan for my 1 kid who is 6 years old now. Please advice and guide me about more investments plan, as i am still confused about future growth and any plan for my wife age 38years.
Ans: You're at a critical financial stage. Planning for your child’s education and securing your family’s future are both top priorities. You've already started a ULIP, which is a start. But let’s take a deeper 360-degree view of your situation.

Below is a detailed plan, broken into simple sections for better clarity.



Assessment of Your Current ULIP Investment

You're investing Rs. 10,000 per month in a 7-year ULIP.



ULIPs mix insurance with investment. That reduces the growth power of your money.



Charges like premium allocation, fund management, and mortality charges reduce returns.



Your actual invested amount is much lower in the first few years.



ULIPs have limited flexibility in fund switching and partial withdrawal rules.



Maturity benefits are taxed if the annual premium exceeds Rs. 2.5 lakh. Be cautious of this.



A ULIP is not ideal for education goals or long-term wealth building.



As a Certified Financial Planner, I suggest surrendering this policy and moving funds to mutual funds.



You can continue till 5 years to avoid surrender charges if already started.



But do not renew after the 7-year term. Don't increase contributions in this ULIP.



Planning for Your Child’s Higher Education

Your child is 6 years old. You have around 11-12 years.



College education in India or abroad can cost Rs. 30–60 lakhs or more.



Instead of ULIPs, invest in diversified mutual funds. This will give better inflation-adjusted returns.



Use a mix of large cap, flexi cap and small cap mutual funds.



Start SIPs in these funds with a long-term horizon of 10-12 years.



You may also consider goal-based child education funds that are actively managed.



Don't invest in direct funds. They look cheaper, but don’t offer guidance.



Always invest through a Certified Financial Planner via a regular plan.



Your investment will stay aligned with your goal as the planner will guide with rebalancing.



Use a dedicated SIP only for child’s education goal. Don’t merge it with retirement planning.



Suggested Action Plan for Child’s Education

Shift future contributions from ULIP to SIPs in active funds.



Start with Rs. 20,000 per month SIP only for education.



Review this SIP every year and increase it by 10%-15% annually.



Add lump sums like bonuses or yearly increments into the same goal fund.



In the last 2 years before the education goal, shift to debt funds slowly.



This will protect your accumulated amount from equity volatility.



Investment Plan for Your Wife (Age 38)

She has a long horizon. She can invest for both retirement and her independent needs.



Open a separate mutual fund folio in her name.



Start SIPs in flexi cap, large & midcap, and hybrid funds in regular plans.



You can start with Rs. 10,000 per month and increase gradually.



You may also use her PPF account for additional tax-free corpus.



Avoid investing in gold, insurance policies, or real estate for her.



Ensure she has her own health insurance and a term insurance if she’s working.



If she’s not working, then create an emergency fund in her name.



That gives her independence and safety if she needs cash.



Family Protection with Insurance

You did not mention your term cover. You must have it if not already.



Ideal cover should be 15–20 times your yearly income.



ULIPs or LIC endowment policies should not be considered for protection.



Avoid investment-linked insurance plans. Keep insurance and investment separate.



Review your existing insurance covers. Add riders like critical illness and accident if needed.



Tax Efficient Planning

Use Section 80C wisely. Don’t just rely on ULIP or LIC plans.



Max out PPF, ELSS mutual funds, and children tuition for tax saving.



Invest in actively managed ELSS funds for better returns than ULIPs.



Avoid index funds for tax planning. They may underperform in volatile markets.



Debt funds are taxed as per slab now. Use carefully if short horizon.



Track capital gains if you sell mutual funds. Use new tax rules for equity funds:



  - LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

  

  - STCG taxed at 20%



Plan redemptions well in advance to manage taxes efficiently.



Retirement Planning (For You and Wife)

Start a separate SIP for your retirement corpus. Do not merge with other goals.



You have 17 years for retirement. That’s good for wealth accumulation.



Invest in a mix of actively managed flexi-cap and large-cap funds.



Add hybrid funds to reduce volatility as you near retirement.



Continue EPF, and increase VPF if possible. It is tax-free and safe.



Don't consider NPS if liquidity is important. Maturity rules are rigid.



Use mutual funds with regular advice to stay on track till age 60.



Exit ULIPs and Poor Insurance Products

You mentioned TATA AIA ULIP. Continue for 5 years to avoid penalty.



After that, exit and move funds to SIP in mutual funds.



If you or wife have LIC endowment, Jeevan Saral, or ULIPs, surrender them.



Reinvest maturity amount into SIPs in regular mutual fund plans.



Do not fall for insurance agents who pitch plans as tax saving or guaranteed.



Emergency Fund and Liquidity

Keep at least 6 months of family expenses in a liquid mutual fund.



Don’t use your SIP or education fund as emergency source.



You may open a separate savings bank linked sweep account for this.



This fund will help if there is any job loss, health issue, or urgent need.



What Not to Do

Don’t invest in new ULIPs or insurance-linked plans.



Avoid direct mutual fund investments. You won’t get guided rebalancing.



Do not use your child’s education fund for house down payment.



Don’t pick index funds. They underperform in sideways or bear markets.



Don’t buy land or gold as an investment for your goals.



Final Insights

You are at a very strategic life stage. You have time and income strength.



ULIPs will not help you grow wealth. Shift to goal-based mutual fund SIPs.



Separate goals: child education, your retirement, wife’s security, and emergencies.



Invest only through a Certified Financial Planner for customised long-term support.



Review all goals every year. Increase SIPs with income.



Protect family with pure term insurance and health insurance.



Focus on building wealth in regular mutual funds, not through insurance products.



Real financial freedom comes when goals are funded without stress.



You have a clear head start. Use it with discipline and right guidance.



Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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