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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 25+ years of old. Earning a handsome ammount of money arround 1lakh. I am a introvert, kind of kanjus you can say. I don't have any gf. I had one one one-sided relationship but because of low self confidence I didn't able to express my feelings. I don't feel myself as a ugly person but I am over waight, facing hair fall recently that's why I lose confidence approaching girls. I tried few dating apps but use. As I am a introvert I don't like to go to parties but definitely become comfortable after knowing the other person. Currently in Bangalore but being from a remote area I don't feel comfortable approaching a girl. What should I do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how you are feeling. First of all, you are not alone in this. Secondly, it's time you recognize how much you have achieved in life. Kudos to that.

Now, coming to your concern, being an introvert is not an issue, though it comes with its own set of challenges. I understand that you feel shy when it comes to talking to women. That's where dating apps come in. You have seen no results on them; I hear you. But give it another try, but this time, with a fool-proof strategy. First off, write an appealing bio. It's equivalent to writing a cover letter- you put forward your best attributes and convince people why they should date you. You can mention your achievements, you can be honest and disclose that you are an introvert, mention what you have to offer as a partner and don't forget to mention what you are looking for in your partner. This would give your potential matches a concise idea of you and also help attract the right people. Second, display image matters. While I am not encouraging you to put up an over-edited picture hiding your imperfections, do not put up the worst one either. Make sure it's recent, decent, and of you and you alone, and not in a group. Third, if you like somebody, don't be afraid to send a message. You are not committing to them, nor do you have to see them in person. Leave a message, interact, only if things go well, meet in person. There's no rush and no prior commitment. Fourth and the most important one, be patient. The right match can take a while but when you do find them, it will be worth the wait.

Best Wishes!

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 27 M. I am a introverted person but not that much I love meeting new people, party, travelling etc. But Whenever I try to talk with any girl I forgot everything that I want to express and also feels bit nervous and shy. So many thoughts are in my mind but I am unable to express that in front of others, I simply forgot. How can I improve my communication skills with other girls and feel confident about myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |399 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

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hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on
Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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