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Teenage Girl: Can Introducing My Best Friend Improve Family Conflicts?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Pursottam Question by Pursottam on Mar 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My mother and my sister are totally conflicting with my girl best friend. i dont have any problem and i am going to introduce her as a friend. can it make things in my favour.

Ans: Dear Pursottam,
Are you are the same person who is in love with the girl who is behind the curtains? If yes, how and when did this girl become your girlfriend? Opening (drawing) the curtains can also mean that she's letting the sunlight in. You don't even know if this girl is interested in you and you are already thinking of what your mother and sister will say!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dear Love Guru, I’m in my early twenties. I’ve had some nice relationships over the years that had their own timespan. But this girl I am seeing now is something else. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year and it’s the longest I’ve been in a relationship. She’s really special. She is crazy, unconventional, smart. People think she is rude; I think she says it as it is. She’s not a great believer in family relationships. In my family, that is very important. We are not talking marriage or anything like that, we are too young for that. But I want to introduce her to my family. And I want to be introduced to hers. I want each other to part of family events. She’s not in favour of the idea. What do you think? And what if we go ahead and she really brushes my family the wrong way -- ie they misunderstand her? What if her family thinks I am not the right guy? Aarav
Ans:

Dear Aarav,

Your girlfriend may well be a good match for you and I’m happy you’re so taken with her, but I do think there are a few red flags here that you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss.

First off -- whatever must be said to someone can be said nicely. There’s no need to rub people the wrong way with what you have to say.

Telling it like it is may be one thing but if most folks find her rude, then yes, she probably is rude.

It’s not nice to hurt someone’s feelings. You can be smart and unconventional and still polite.

Second, about the family angle. Maybe she doesn’t want to get overfamiliar with your relatives before things are official between the two of you.

You said yourself that you’re too young for marriage, and she probably doesn’t want pressure from all quarters, which can well be the norm in our society.

But why doesn’t she believe in family relationships?

If you’re more a family-oriented person and she’s more a loner who prefers things remaining between the two of you, that is another potential problem in future.

Work this out with her and do it sooner rather than later.

As the sheen wears off new romances, the seemingly smaller issues can take on magnified proportions.

 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |579 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Arrange marriage:Last week I visited the girl's home for the first time with my family. She spoke with me in a friendly manner, but she mentioned twice that it's difficult to understand someone in the first meeting. Three days later, they informed the middleman that they like me, and my father will communicate our decision to them. They will plan to visit my home in two weeks, after which the marriage will be fixed. In the meantime, should I send her a friend request and ask to meet at a coffee shop, or should I wait to talk to her until after the marriage is fixed in two weeks?
Ans: If you feel comfortable and the environment is open enough, sending a friend request could be a way to gently open up a line of communication without overstepping any boundaries. It allows her to accept at her own pace. After the friend request, you could start with light, respectful conversation to get to know her better, keeping it casual and non-intrusive. Asking to meet at a coffee shop is a good idea, but only if she seems comfortable engaging in that kind of interaction before things are officially finalized.

It’s essential to be patient and read the situation carefully. If you sense that she might prefer waiting for the official approval of the families, it might be wise to hold off on asking for a meetup until after the marriage is fixed. This would allow both families to feel more at ease and give you two more space to connect after the formalities.

Ultimately, it’s about balancing respect for tradition with your desire to build a connection. If she has shown openness, and you feel like she might appreciate the gesture, reaching out before the marriage is fixed could help both of you get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. But if you’re unsure, waiting the two weeks won’t hurt either.

..Read more

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Hi Sir, My name is Abhishek, and i am 40 years old, I have 12 lakhs in FD, 6 lakhs in MF and stocks(5+1), and 10 lakhs cash, also, i have a flat in Delhi with 15 lakhs home loan, A car loan of 8 lakhs. and i am a software engr. In an MNC, having salary of 1.5 lakhs in a month. ABOVE IS ALL my asset. But i want to be financially free. Is it possible? Please suggest any best practical idea for me. Currently, WFH in ranchi.
Ans: At 40, with your current income and asset base, the goal of financial freedom is definitely achievable. Let’s work towards a 360-degree financial strategy to help you build a solid and practical roadmap.

Below is a complete evaluation and guidance to align your financial life with your freedom goal.

Current Financial Position – Snapshot and Assessment
You have Rs. 12 lakhs in Fixed Deposit.

You hold Rs. 6 lakhs in mutual funds and stocks.

You are keeping Rs. 10 lakhs in cash.

You have a flat in Delhi. You have Rs. 15 lakhs home loan on it.

You also have a car loan of Rs. 8 lakhs.

Your monthly salary is Rs. 1.5 lakhs from an MNC job. You are working from Ranchi now.

You are 40 years old and working in a stable job.

This is a very decent starting point. You are earning well, and you have good savings. But to reach financial freedom, we need better alignment.

Let’s move step-by-step.

Step 1 – Clarify What Financial Freedom Means to You
Financial freedom is not only about quitting your job.

It means you have enough income from investments to cover your monthly needs.

You should be able to choose to work or not, without worrying about money.

So first, we need to estimate your monthly future expenses post-retirement.

Let’s assume Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 80,000 per month today, adjusted for inflation later.

That means you need to create income sources to support at least Rs. 1 crore to Rs. 2 crore in future corpus.

This is not impossible. You have time and income to build this.

Step 2 – Improve the Quality of Your Assets
Let us now improve your asset quality to suit your freedom goal.

Rs. 12 lakhs in Fixed Deposit is very conservative.

FD earns low returns, and interest is fully taxable.

Keep only 4 to 5 lakhs in FD for emergency use.

Move the rest (7 to 8 lakhs) to good quality mutual funds through SIP.

Your Rs. 10 lakhs in cash is too much to keep idle.

Keep Rs. 1.5 to 2 lakhs in savings for short-term needs.

Move the balance Rs. 8+ lakhs to a liquid mutual fund for better returns.

Over the next 3 to 6 months, you can start shifting this towards equity-oriented funds.

Rs. 6 lakhs in MF and stocks is a good beginning.

But if these include index funds or direct funds, you must evaluate them carefully.

Index funds only copy the market, and don’t actively manage risks.

They underperform in falling or flat markets.

A good actively managed mutual fund is better in Indian conditions.

Direct mutual funds look low-cost, but no expert advice is included.

When you invest through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who is also a Certified Financial Planner, you get proper hand-holding.

Regular funds through a CFP-linked MFD provide portfolio monitoring, review, and behavioural coaching.

This helps avoid panic selling or greed-driven buying.

Step 3 – Work on Your Loans
You have Rs. 15 lakhs home loan.

This is acceptable if interest is below 8.5% per annum.

Home loan offers tax benefits also. So don’t rush to close it.

Continue paying EMIs without stress. Try to pre-pay 1 EMI every 6 months if possible.

This will reduce your loan term.

But do not use emergency cash or investments to close it.

Car loan of Rs. 8 lakhs is a liability without return.

Try to clear this in the next 1.5 years.

Use your bonus or incentives for that.

Avoid buying new cars or gadgets on EMI again.

Step 4 – Build a Systematic Investment Plan
You should be investing 30% to 40% of your monthly income.

That means Rs. 45,000 to Rs. 60,000 per month.

Start SIPs in diversified actively managed mutual funds.

Allocate more in equity-oriented funds for long-term growth.

Keep a small portion in hybrid or conservative hybrid funds for balance.

If you are supporting family, consider a term insurance plan (not ULIP or endowment).

Term insurance is cheaper and offers better coverage.

Also take health insurance for self and family, even if company gives cover.

Step 5 – Emergency Planning and Risk Management
You must keep an emergency fund equal to 6 months expenses.

You already have FD and cash, so earmark Rs. 3 to 4 lakhs for this.

Put this in a separate savings or liquid mutual fund account.

Don’t touch this unless there is an actual emergency.

Review your health and life insurance policies yearly.

Step 6 – Review and Improve Your Monthly Budgeting
Track your monthly expenses. Use simple mobile apps or Excel.

Avoid impulse expenses like gadgets, travel, or lifestyle items.

Stick to a monthly budget. Save before you spend.

Increase your SIPs every year by 10%.

This will match inflation and improve wealth creation.

Step 7 – Don’t Depend on Real Estate for Financial Freedom
Real estate has low liquidity and high maintenance.

Rental yield is only 2 to 3%.

Also, resale takes time and effort.

Don’t invest more in real estate. Focus on financial instruments instead.

Step 8 – Plan Your Retirement and Passive Income Sources
At age 40, you have 15–17 years to retire.

That’s enough time to build a retirement corpus.

If you invest Rs. 50,000 monthly for 15 years in mutual funds, wealth can be significant.

Once you retire, you can shift to monthly income plans from mutual funds.

These generate regular withdrawals with tax efficiency.

You must also reallocate to more conservative funds as you near retirement.

Avoid annuity products. They give low returns and poor liquidity.

Step 9 – Tax Planning and Filing
Use tax deductions wisely under Sec 80C, 80D and home loan benefits.

Keep your investments tax-efficient.

For example, equity fund gains up to Rs. 1.25 lakhs are tax-free annually.

Above this, LTCG is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains from equity funds are taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

You should do tax planning with a CFP who can review your total asset base.

Step 10 – Set Clear Milestones and Review Yearly
Set short, mid, and long-term goals.

For example: close car loan in 1 year, build Rs. 50 lakhs corpus in 5 years, etc.

Track these goals once every 6 months.

If you miss one goal, don’t panic. Adjust and continue.

Stay disciplined with SIPs and avoid timing the market.

Don’t follow tips or market trends blindly.

Final Insights
You are doing well for your age and income level.

But to reach financial freedom, you need more structured planning.

Convert your cash and FDs to wealth-generating assets.

Stop investing in real estate and focus on financial investments.

Eliminate loans step-by-step.

Increase your SIPs regularly and keep your portfolio reviewed by a Certified Financial Planner.

Review your goals, risks, and insurance every year.

Stay consistent and patient. Freedom will come earlier than expected.

You are on the right track. Just need direction, discipline, and dedication.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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