Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1394 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Good Morning, We are married for almost 27 years and at various stages of my wife like, beginning days when Girls had dream of her happy married life beginning, honeymoon, pregnancy, fostering the child, mid-age crisis and now Menopause I have been very unfair & sometime very cruel to my wife. I am tryint to please her in my possible ways but whenever I am planning something exciting & pleasurable for her it turn out to be flop show & nightmare. I want her to be happy but don't know why it gets spoiled due to one or other reason. Despite of all this she is always giving me chance and prepare herself for new beginning. But now I fear & feel gradually I will become a big liability on her, health wise as I am diabetic and even after taking high dose of medicines it doesn't get controlled. I am worried that though the beginning was not good our end should be Peaceful & graceful. Need your guidance

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No point revisiting what has already happened. It seems like your wife wants a new beginning; then why not actually plan on how you want your life together to be from now on? What are the things that you have missed out on earlier, bring it all back and slowly start experiencing what life could be living in that harmony...
As for diabetes, getting the right medicine and taking it in the right dosage is important to see a change. Also, exercise, attempt to keep stress levels low and eat right...these help in keeping your blood sugar levels low...
Don't talk about the END when there is a NEW beginning in sight...

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1394 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 43 yr old, working as salesman, accountant other office related job last 13 years in same shop, having salary not more than 20000.00. Now i m suffering from diabetics, and can't do all the job in proper time as accepted by my shop owner. Sometime due to pressure of job, and unable to give suitable times to my family, a times comes when quarrel happen with my wife. Also sometime i feel like i m not satisfy with my job and also feel that i m depress. what to do please advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to family and managing within an income, it can be difficult but not impossible.
Step 01:
Cut down on unnecessary expenses (You and your wife can make a budget and stick to it)
Step 02:
Find ways to make additional income (You and/or your wife can find ways to make some extra money; online tuitions/cookery classes etc)

Now, if being in the same job has become boring and there is no further scope to grow as a salesman, then maybe it's time to actually do something different? This decision has to be made after considering what savings you have and how much you will need to dip into it till the time you figure out what you can do or till the point you get another job.
No point being frustrated BUT it's maybe a good time to actually think of what more and what different you can do? A lot of people change career paths in their 40s BUT there is a right time for it. Consider this only after you and your wife have had a chance to talk about it and then look at your finances (expenses, loans etc) and then make the right call.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1394 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu I ma married man with age of 54 & my wife is 52 years. We are married since 30 years and we are not having good sexual relationship. She is more keen but i have some issues with my health. From the beginning I have disorders and do even ejaculate very soon. Because of this our relations are not that good. Now we are on the verge of separation but due to childrens who are quire grown up and settled in their life they are strictly against this decision of ours. My wife wants divorce from me and wants to settle down with someone else and at present there is no such person in her life. I also want divorce but of the last thought. How can I regain my sexual life again please let me know.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's really sad all the years of togetherness becomes nothing in front of physical relationships.
My suggestion would be to work on whatever is coming in between the two of you; which means what is stopping you from having a good sex life must be addressed.
It could be simple medical treatment or mind techniques to work on these challenges. Divorce in my opinion in your case, seems to be an impulsive move taken in frustration. Think it through and calmly address the main issue and work at it. Request your wife also to be a part of this. Do reconsider your decision to separate by trying to work out the differences. Even after that if things persist, then you know what you want to do. But at least give it a try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |465 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I (30F) had been in some Relationships at different stages of my Life, which Failed due to different Reasons and I am not Virgin. After getting exhausted emotionally, I quit Dating, 2 years ago & I decided to settle down for an Arranged Marriage, as a last resort. Since the last 2 years, I have met many Eligible Bachelors who seemed to show genuine interest in me, at the initial stage. But at some point of time, all of them asked me about my Virginity & Body Count. I had always been Honest with all of them. And almost all of them Rejected me for this one Reason. Some of them straightaway told me that they couldn't Trust any Woman who's not Virgin. Some of them gave some other Trivial Reason to Reject me, though, I could intuitively guess the Real Reason for Rejection. And some of them, just Ghosted me, immediately. I had been feeling very Bad about getting Rejected, it felt as if I was being Punished for my Honesty. Now I have begun to Question myself, whether I really need to tell my Prospective Partner about my Past? Why should my Past matter to my Future Partner? Do I owe, my Future Partner, any explanation for the way I have lived my Life until now? Is it really Fair to Judge me only on the basis of my Virginity, rather than my entire being as a whole? Does my entire worth depend only upon my Virginity? Why do Men raise Questions about my Past, in the first place, while I never asked any of them about their Past, as I don't care about my Partner's Past? Why are Men so Insecure about Sexually Active Women, is their Male Ego so Fragile that they can't accept a Woman's Past? Do they have the Right to Ask a Woman about her Sexual History, in the first place? Do they really need to know about my Past? Do I really have any Obligation to be Honest with them & disclose about my Past, before Marriage itself? My Family members are advising me that it's not Wrong to say a few White Lies, for the sake of Marriage? Would it be Wise, on my part to follow their Advice & Lie to Arranged Marriage prospects that I am Virgin? Or else, in what other ways can I Answer, Questions about my Virginity, Body Count & Sexual History, raised by future prospects, such that I don't get Rejected?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. You made some very valid points. You are absolutely right- no one has any business asking you about your virginity. And you are also correct that it does not define you at all. But the truth is, to some people, it matters more than it should. They are not entirely at fault alone; it is the whole society. Nevertheless, you are right. While it is your decision whether you want to lie or be honest, I would suggest telling the truth. Not for their sake; for yours. You should not have to live your married life always thinking "Would my past have mattered to him?" or wondering if things would have been different if you told him the truth. Moreover, being honest will set you free; maybe it comes with rejections, but at least you do not ever have to bear the weight of lies or feel guilty about deceiving someone. And most importantly, you won’t have to settle for someone who cares so much about such superficial things. Happy marriages cannot start with a lie.

We can't control what's important to whom, but we can respect them, even if we disagree. If you are not comfortable disclosing your body count or past, simply answer their question with yours- "Does that matter to you a lot?" If they say yes, you can reject him because your values don't align.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |465 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 33 year old women and have been looking for matches in matrimony from year 2021 but was not getting suitable matches. Got connected with multiple profile but it didn't workout well.Just last month i saw one profile i liked it and sent request. My request got accepted and then i shared the contact no with my dad which was registered on matrimony. My dad called his dad and discussed about profiles and they liked it. Now the guy is in USA and his dad said he will be coming back next year. Till then his dad said let them connect on video call. So his dad shared my contact no with him and said he will call me. 2 days passed but he didn't call so my dad informed his dad and his dad called him and then he said he is quite busy in work and will ping me either in weekdays if free or on weekends. But then i didn't receive any reply and then again my dad called them after 10 days and asked why their son has not called yet so his dad also said he is busy but he will definetly call her and till then as per their earlier request we also said if you want to come and meet the family then can do that.so his dad said if we don't have any plan for the next week on weekends[i.e on 24th nov] then we will surely come but then on 23rd nov my dad called them regarding the meet and then they said they are out so mostly will not be able to come tomorrow and his dad said i will ask son to talk to your daughter first today. After this there was no conversation bcoz his son didn't call. Later when i searched him on facebook coincidently on one of his post i saw his contact number and i checked on whatsapp and then i came to know he has saved my contact no. But then i am confused why he haven't called me yet. First time i have got some good vibes about someone but this is really killing me. I was doing lot of overthinking then i asked my dad again if we can ask his contact number and my dad said no this will look desperate to them. I already have his contact number but confused like should i text him what can be the consequences.Lots of thoughts running into my mind. Please help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, there is no hard and fast rule that says that men have to make the first move. If you like someone, you can easily give him a call or drop a text. If a man finds that desperate, you should not settle for someone like that.

Next, judging by the series of events, I would say there is a good chance of either of two things happening- first, he might actually be very busy. But I don't think people are ever so busy that they can't take five minutes of their time to make a call. But then again, you are still strangers and hence, you are not his priority currently. Second, they might be breadcrumbing you. Just giving you enough hope to keep you hooked while they search for more potential matches. The most concerning thing is that the entire family can't keep their word or have the decency to inform about the change of plans.

Your father is not wrong; right now if you contact him after he has repeatedly failed to contact you, it will not look good, and worse, you will not feel good about it. My question is, do you really want a man like this? I know you have been trying for a while and not getting good results can be frustrating, but that does not mean you have to settle for this. I truly believe you deserve better. You can wait some more and see where it goes, but I strongly suggest not pursuing things from your end anymore. Let them do so if they are truly interested. Suppose they don't, understand that you have dodged a bullet.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3971 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I have a daughter age 14 study in 8th grade...she is not interested in studies which shows in her low grades...we have forced her to study and her mood fluctuate sometimes studies well and most time disinterested...I am worried about what to choose for her after 10th ..I am not going to join her in engineering or doctor..she is creatively inclined though... What should I do to improve her grades.. To atleast finish as a graduate... Which course should I opt to channelize and bring out her creativity
Ans: First and foremost, you ensure that (1) your communication channel is open with her and that you spend at least thirty minutes with her daily. (2) The atmosphere at home is serene, and (3) she does not have a significant addiction to electronic gadgets. (4) Meet with your daughter's school teacher or any counselor at least once every two weeks, or at the absolute least once a month, in order to learn the reasons behind her poor academic performance. (5) If it is at all possible, chat with her classmates at school to find out if your daughter has any additional problems that she does not want to divulge to you. (6) Make an effort to determine the underlying cause of her lack of interest in her studies. (7) Make an effort to stimulate her by recognizing her for her minor accomplishments. (8) She should also make time for hobbies and relaxation in her routine. (8) To ensure that she has a thorough understanding of her interests, aptitude, attitude, orientation, and personality, it is recommended that she takes any psychometric test at the time that she will be on vacation during the month of December. (9) Determine her path after she completes her 10th grade. (10) You should select the appropriate path for her to take depending on the results of the psychometric test. Some options include the arts and humanities, commerce with arts, vocational courses, and skill-based programs. (10) She should also make a decision by the time she is in the 10th grade as to which stream is the most appropriate for her in order to prepare her for the entrance exams (by enrolling in online or offline coaching programs) to get admission into any undergraduate program that is suited for her. All the Best for your Daughter's bright future.

Follow RediffGURUS to kno more on 'Education | Jobs | Careers'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7258 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Money
How far reliable this new investment platform talked and even promoted by ( Invest Rs 21000 and earn 2 million dollar per month) RBI Gov,Sundar Pitchai,Narayana Murthy, Sudha N Murthyand even by FM
Ans: The claim you mention—"Invest Rs. 21,000 and earn $2 million per month"—is a classic red flag for a scam or fraudulent investment scheme. It is highly unlikely that reputed personalities would endorse such a scheme. Let me explain why you should approach such claims with extreme caution:

1. Unrealistic Returns
Promising an exorbitant return like $2 million per month from a small investment of Rs. 21,000 is highly unrealistic. Genuine investment platforms provide returns in line with market performance and risk levels, which are far less dramatic.
2. No Official Endorsement
Check the official websites or verified accounts of these personalities to confirm any claims. Misusing their names is a common tactic used by scammers.
3. Misleading Marketing
Fraudsters often use photos or quotes from famous individuals to make their schemes look legitimate. These endorsements are usually fake and done without the knowledge or permission of the individuals.
4. RBI Guidelines
The RBI regularly issues warnings against fraudulent schemes and platforms. It never endorses specific investment opportunities. Instead, it encourages investors to exercise due diligence.
5. Too Good to Be True
As a rule of thumb, if an offer sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Legitimate investments grow over time and require careful planning and risk management.
What You Should Do
Verify the Platform: Look for official documentation or licenses from SEBI, RBI, or other regulatory authorities.
Research: Check reviews and ratings on trusted financial websites. Look for independent sources, not just what the platform claims.
Consult an Expert: Speak to a financial advisor or investment consultant before putting your money anywhere.
Report Suspicious Activities: If you suspect fraud, report it to the Cyber Crime Cell or SEBI.
Would you like me to help you investigate this specific platform further? If yes, please provide the name or link, and I can assist.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x