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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1449 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 43 yr old, working as salesman, accountant other office related job last 13 years in same shop, having salary not more than 20000.00. Now i m suffering from diabetics, and can't do all the job in proper time as accepted by my shop owner. Sometime due to pressure of job, and unable to give suitable times to my family, a times comes when quarrel happen with my wife. Also sometime i feel like i m not satisfy with my job and also feel that i m depress. what to do please advice.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to family and managing within an income, it can be difficult but not impossible.
Step 01:
Cut down on unnecessary expenses (You and your wife can make a budget and stick to it)
Step 02:
Find ways to make additional income (You and/or your wife can find ways to make some extra money; online tuitions/cookery classes etc)

Now, if being in the same job has become boring and there is no further scope to grow as a salesman, then maybe it's time to actually do something different? This decision has to be made after considering what savings you have and how much you will need to dip into it till the time you figure out what you can do or till the point you get another job.
No point being frustrated BUT it's maybe a good time to actually think of what more and what different you can do? A lot of people change career paths in their 40s BUT there is a right time for it. Consider this only after you and your wife have had a chance to talk about it and then look at your finances (expenses, loans etc) and then make the right call.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |391 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Sir, I am 27 years old, Single. Its been 2 years + I am doing private 3 years project contractual job this contractual job.its going to complete in Dec 31st 2024. I gave Ctet teacher exam but i failed 3 time. But i m not focusing in State tet so, i want focus but in market lots of content and i dont have gude what shall i do. I am not happy with my current job. This job changes me alot in my caracter now, i cant sleep properly because if this job will finished what shall i do, till yet i have not creck any exam. And if i go in market i started to forgot ex:- After giving money i forgot to take back, after giving money i forgot to take things sometime. My age also gainig if want to marry so, i have earned money or save money i have to bear all expenses because my parents financially poor if I want save, same time i need to look my younger brother study expenses i need to bear and family running mantainance and also have EMI loans need to pay and also i am helping my parents to build their house with my own money my parents does not have money for my marriage. Now i have overthinking, depression, fear, feeling lossing confident, my dream job also get critical in this situation what shall i do. In office also staff try to polling down because i am getting higher salary what shall i do. For this reason just resently my health conditions because worse my pressure 139 felt vomit feel dizzy. What shall I do now Sir.
Ans: I have gone through your query and understand that you are at the Cross roads of Life.

It's at these times... When the going gets tough... The tough gets gong.
That's your strength.. A tough resilient young lady!
Kindly note you are doing an excellent job hence rewarded with better pay in your organization.. Obviously there's going to be jealousy..Be calm & Handle it with maturity.

Now I understand you are very committed selfless person. Who's contributing a lot to your family,... Wow in fact helping build your own new house. !

In regards to your contractual job, talk to your employer, let them know, that you would have to look for another job post December 2024 if there's no clear further commitment.

In regard to your marriage at 27 you aren't too old to find a like minded partner don't rush and regret, start the process through matrimonial apps.

I see you talk about your health, especially blood pressure, well that's because you are unduly stressed.
Add tender coconut water to your diet, talk to a proper Ayurvedic doctor..!

I am sure you will get over this mid life syndrome and invite us all for your happy day!

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |508 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 20 years old guy and in my past romantic relationships, have shown signs of emotional instability, too much dependency and lack of awareness of boundaries which affected my relationships badly...I hadn’t interacted with people in a long while since 2020 (precisely when lockdown had started) and feel that some aspects of my personality are not developed fully as they should be at this age. How to work on this? Also, i have noticed that I am able to create a good first impression but it soon pales and I feel like I am subtly disrespected or talked down to, and this has been happening in all interactions...i am always respectful (often to a fault!) and even have people pleasing tendencies...i sometimes ask immature weird questions and that might probably be the reason (but they’re never inappropriate)...but i do want to gain insights into why i am experiencing what i am and how to navigate this situation well so that I can maintain healthy relationships in future. Thanks you!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |499 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for the past 4 years, but due to various issues, things have become extremely complicated. Her father doesn’t approve of me, and my mother doesn’t like her either. Despite this, we’ve managed to stay together all these years. The problem is now escalating. My family is pressuring me to marry someone else, but I’m unable to leave her. At the same time, I feel I can’t marry her either because of her behavior and the ongoing issues with my family. I’ve tried to ask her to change certain things, but she hasn’t made any efforts in that direction. To make matters worse, her mother supports our relationship and trusts me, which makes it even harder for me to walk away. I don’t want her to marry someone else, but I also feel stuck because of my family’s expectations and the challenges in our relationship. Even If I leave her I don't know what she is going to do. What should I do in this situation to make the best decision for everyone involved?
Ans: it's crucial to reflect on what you truly want and need from a relationship. Ask yourself if this relationship brings you the happiness and fulfillment you seek, or if the challenges you face are too significant to overcome. It's important to differentiate between staying out of love and staying out of fear or obligation.

Talking to your partner openly is essential. Share your concerns honestly and listen to her perspective. If there are changes you've hoped for, express why they matter to you. At the same time, recognize that change is a two-way street—it requires effort and willingness from both sides. If she hasn't made efforts in the areas you've discussed, it may be worth considering whether this is a pattern that can be changed or a fundamental mismatch in expectations.

Your family's disapproval complicates things further, but it's important to remember that this is your life and relationship. While their opinions are significant, they shouldn't be the sole deciding factor in your happiness. Balancing respect for their wishes with your own needs is a delicate task, but ultimately, you need to make a decision that feels right for you.

If the relationship feels unsustainable despite your efforts, it may be time to consider a different path. It's understandable that you’re concerned about her well-being, especially given her mother's trust in you, but staying out of guilt or obligation can lead to further unhappiness for both of you. If you decide to part ways, doing so with kindness and honesty can help mitigate some of the hurt.

Ultimately, this decision is deeply personal. Weighing your feelings, the relationship dynamics, and your family's expectations will guide you toward a resolution that prioritizes your well-being and future happiness.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |499 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

...Read more

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