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Mohit

Mohit Arora  |26 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Translate
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Relationship

Hi Mohit, I love my wife but she is not happy with me. We are married for 15 years and have a 12-year-old daughter. I am working and she is a homemaker. I am unable to meet her high expectations. What should I do?

Ans: This is an incomplete question. Will need to know why she is unhappy. What's the dialogue?

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

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Hi Anu, how are you? I don’t have a good married life. My wife and I always think differently. She hates me and living with me. We don't have a good intimate relationship. A few years back, she wanted divorce me but stopped due to children and family pressure. She also tried to stay with another person in the past. She is not satisfied with me. We’ve completed 13 years and, since the last seven years, life is bad with her. She is staying with me and the children but not with a happy mind. She is a good devotee but she is not happy. She thinks I spoiled her life. Need your kind advice. S
Ans:

Dear S,

She is a good devotee? I can’t quite understand this statement. And she hates you? How?

If what you have mentioned are facts, then isn’t it time for the two of you to evaluate if it’s worth living together?

If you are continuing with the marriage for the sake of the children, then do understand that there are certain ways in which you should behave so that the children do not absorb the stress that the two of you are facing.

If you keep arguing or fighting in front of them, it will affect them emotionally.

It is time that the two of you have a conversation as mature adults and sort this out quickly before it consumes the children. Else, make the sane decision of going your separate ways.

If you can’t do this by yourselves, seek professional help as soon as possible.

Do remember, it takes two people to make a marriage work, so look within yourself as well to see what you can change to smooth things over and work on that.

All the best and a Happy 2022.

 

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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Translate
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |96 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Translate
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Relationship
Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.
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Moneywize

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Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Translate
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What are balanced advantage funds and would you recommend how I should go about investing in such funds?
Ans: Balanced Advantage Funds are a type of mutual fund that dynamically manages the allocation between equity and debt instruments based on market conditions. These funds aim to provide investors with a balance between growth (through equity exposure) and stability (through debt exposure). The allocation between equity and debt is adjusted by fund managers based on various factors such as market valuations, interest rates, and economic indicators.

Here's a breakdown of the key features and considerations for investing in Balanced Advantage Funds:

1. Dynamic Asset Allocation: These funds have the flexibility to shift allocation between equity and debt depending on market conditions. When equity markets are expensive or overvalued, the fund manager may reduce equity exposure and increase allocation to debt instruments, and vice versa.

2. Risk Management: Balanced Advantage Funds tend to offer lower volatility compared to pure equity funds due to their ability to switch between asset classes based on market conditions. This can potentially reduce downside risk during market downturns.

3. Goal-based Investing: They can be suitable for investors with medium to long-term investment horizons who seek a balance between capital appreciation and capital preservation. These funds are often used for goals like retirement planning or wealth creation with a moderate risk profile.

4. Professional Management: Investors benefit from the expertise of professional fund managers who actively manage the asset allocation and investment decisions based on thorough research and analysis.

5. Tax Implications: From a taxation perspective, gains from equity investments held for more than one year are taxed at a lower rate (long-term capital gains tax), whereas gains from debt investments held for more than three years are taxed as per the investor's income tax slab. Balanced Advantage Funds may offer tax efficiency due to their equity exposure.

6. Expense Ratio: Investors should consider the expense ratio of the fund, which represents the annual fees charged by the fund house for managing the fund. Lower expense ratios can enhance returns over the long term.

As for whether you should invest in Balanced Advantage Funds, it depends on your investment objectives, risk tolerance, and financial goals.

If you're seeking a balanced approach with the potential for higher returns than pure debt funds but with lower volatility compared to pure equity funds, then these funds could be suitable for you. However, it's essential to consult with a financial advisor who can assess your individual circumstances and recommend the most appropriate investment strategy.

If you decide to invest in Balanced Advantage Funds, you can do so through various platforms such as mutual fund distributors, online investment platforms, or directly through the fund house's website. Here's a general guide on how to invest:

1. Research: Understand the different Balanced Advantage Funds available in the market, their investment objectives, performance track record, and expense ratios.

2. Select a Fund: Choose a fund that aligns with your investment goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.

3. KYC Compliance: Complete the Know Your Customer (KYC) process as required by regulatory guidelines. This typically involves providing identity and address proof documents.

4. Investment Process: Decide on the mode of investment, whether lump sum or systematic investment plan (SIP), based on your convenience and investment strategy.

5. Online Platform or Distributor: If investing through an online platform, create an account and follow the instructions to invest in your chosen Balanced Advantage Fund. If using a mutual fund distributor, approach them with your investment decision, and they will assist you with the investment process.

6. Monitor and Review: Keep track of your investments periodically and review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals.

Remember that all investments carry some level of risk, including the potential loss of capital. Diversification and a long-term investment approach are generally recommended to mitigate risk and achieve your financial objectives.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2024Translate
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Relationship
Good Morning, We are married for almost 27 years and at various stages of my wife like, beginning days when Girls had dream of her happy married life beginning, honeymoon, pregnancy, fostering the child, mid-age crisis and now Menopause I have been very unfair & sometime very cruel to my wife. I am tryint to please her in my possible ways but whenever I am planning something exciting & pleasurable for her it turn out to be flop show & nightmare. I want her to be happy but don't know why it gets spoiled due to one or other reason. Despite of all this she is always giving me chance and prepare herself for new beginning. But now I fear & feel gradually I will become a big liability on her, health wise as I am diabetic and even after taking high dose of medicines it doesn't get controlled. I am worried that though the beginning was not good our end should be Peaceful & graceful. Need your guidance
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No point revisiting what has already happened. It seems like your wife wants a new beginning; then why not actually plan on how you want your life together to be from now on? What are the things that you have missed out on earlier, bring it all back and slowly start experiencing what life could be living in that harmony...
As for diabetes, getting the right medicine and taking it in the right dosage is important to see a change. Also, exercise, attempt to keep stress levels low and eat right...these help in keeping your blood sugar levels low...
Don't talk about the END when there is a NEW beginning in sight...

All the best!
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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