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Betrayed Husband: Can I Forgive My Wife's 11-Year Affair?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |366 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Mohit.. I am 51 year old male. We have been married for 26 years, but my wife recently confessed to me that she was in a 11 year relationship with our next door neighbour but now she has ended that relationship. Seems the way it happened 11years back is we had got shifted to a new place, she was handling situation alone (since I used to work in a different city and used to be home only during weekends and plus I admit i was always stressed in my jobs). Then she felt her parents are also not available for her.. so thats why she started 'leaning' on this next door neighbour, fell in love with him and soon got caught up in an affair with sex also involved worse, they used to meet at our place and make out in MY BED ... so anyways my wife confided in me now and admitted this because she says she ended this affair about a year back.. but seems he called her suddenly one day recently and told her he would confide about this affair to his wife (which meant that this would come in to the open and I would come to know), so my wife decide to tell me herself finally she says shes is sorry, feels lot of guilt and to forgive her, give a 2nd chance etc.. thing is there are 2 grown up children- daughter 21 years and son 17 years.. I just cannot bring myself to forgive her.. 2 things keep haunting me 1) we even went to that guys marriage (affair started @1 year before his marriage) and I feel like a fool now for attending his marriage. I used to talk to him like any neighbour would 2) Thought of them making out in my bed, and that he used to come over to my house where my children live even when nobody was at home. Besides this part, she has been a good wife, but isnt this affair too serious a thing what she has done??- she made a fool out of me for the last 10 years, isnt it? At the same time, seperation/divorce is out of the question- since it will adversely impact my children and parents.. Worse I am in the US staying alone for work, while they are in India, when she confessed this a month back. So I am all along dealing with this pain, anger and hurt. My head tells me to forgive her and move on, but my heart just cannot forget this and I keep getting images of them together.. Pls help me how to process my hurt, anger and pain.

Ans: Dear Mohit,
I understand how deeply hurt and betrayed you feel. It's incredibly painful to learn about such a long-term affair, especially with someone you trusted. Your emotions are valid, and it's natural to feel overwhelmed by anger, hurt, and confusion.

Your wife's confession, although a step towards honesty, doesn't erase the betrayal or the pain you're experiencing. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the time and space to process them. Being away from home might provide a necessary distance to reflect, but it also makes it harder to deal with the situation directly.

Talking to a therapist could help you navigate through these emotions. They can offer you a safe space to express your feelings and help you find ways to cope with the hurt and anger.

When you're ready, having an honest conversation with your wife about how you feel and what you need moving forward is crucial. Open communication can be painful but necessary for any kind of healing or decision-making process.

Your concern for your children's well-being is understandable, and it's clear that their happiness is a priority for you. However, remember that their well-being also depends on having parents who are emotionally healthy and stable.

Take care of yourself during this time. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and peace. Focus on your well-being and consider what you want for your future. Forgiveness and healing are personal journeys, and it's okay if it takes time to figure out the best path forward.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

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HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

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HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am a guy 45, married and with 2 lovely children. My wife and I have great relationship from the time of love marriage. I love her a lot and as a family all is great financially, emotionally. It does seem to be like a perfect family anyone can ask for. During dating she was she was flirting with others but after all our love and commitment we moved ahead. She has this nature of seeking attention from others and I was ok as long as it was harmless. After our first child, I know it must be difficult for her as a new mother etc but I caught her with her colleague, they were having affair for 1.5 years. she regretted her decision and I forgive her. I gave her more attention and we continued, she shows all the love and affection and I know in my heart she loved me a lot as I do the same. All was good, we had a second child and the pregnancy and post pregnancy was happy. She has been very happy and giving her all to the family. Our relationship was very good from every angle. yet again she had a one night stand and also another affair. This time i was heard broken. She is independent, she earns well and better than me of which I am proud of. If she is unhappy with the relationship and marriage, i am happy if she is wants to move on for her good. But she repented again and says he cannot live without me and that she only loves me. If there is so much love I am unable to understand why she is looking elsewhere. I have asked her to make me understand but she has no answer. I have forgiven her as my love for her is a lot and I know she does love me too and we continue our marriage... but I am unable to figure out this nature and for her and myself I want to understand what can be done. I am lost.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can see that it is very unsettling for you. It might have been a huge deal to know that your wife has been vying for attention outside of marriage and also indulging in the physical angle as well.
It's possible that she is getting used to your being okay with the entire thing and just adapting to it that there has been no thought on how she can change the way that she is. Since you have forgiven her, there is nothing that needs to change in her...that's the message that you are implying to her.

She possibly is just exploring and trying new things for herself, she is looking for validation and attention outside...the reasons could be many...wandering is only an indication of something that we are not happy with within ourselves or in our lives...If you want your situation to change, I would strongly recommend Couples Therapy to unearth what exactly is happening. It might give both of you some perspective and since there's love still within the marriage, things might actually fall in place quickly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
Money
I would appreciate it if you could suggest a best financial strategy for building a 2CR corpus in the next 10 years. I am 34 years old and have a total of 15 lakhs in loans for personal and credit cards. I had a corpus of 10 lakhs in FD before Covid but had to use it due to medical emergencies. I would like to start again with my current salary of 70k, with 35k going towards my loans and 5k going towards groceries.
Ans: Building a Rs. 2 Crore Corpus in 10 Years
Age: 34 | Current Salary: Rs. 70,000 per month
Total Loan: Rs. 15 Lakhs (Personal + Credit Cards)

You aim to build a Rs. 2 crore corpus in 10 years, despite having loans and a limited current surplus. Achieving this goal requires a balanced financial strategy. I will suggest a detailed, 360-degree plan for you, focusing on debt reduction, systematic investments, and discipline.

Current Situation Assessment
Salary: Rs. 70,000 per month
Loans: Rs. 15 lakhs
Loan EMIs: Rs. 35,000 per month
Grocery expenses: Rs. 5,000 per month
Available Surplus: Rs. 30,000 per month
You already have Rs. 35,000 going towards loans and Rs. 5,000 towards groceries. This leaves you with Rs. 30,000 to work with monthly. Here’s how you can manage this amount effectively.

Step 1: Prioritize Debt Repayment
Your primary focus should be to clear high-interest loans first. Personal and credit card loans usually have high-interest rates. These loans could eat into your savings if not managed carefully.

Allocate Rs. 25,000 from your surplus for loan repayment.
Focus on credit card debt first, as it is likely the costliest loan.
If possible, opt for balance transfer or debt consolidation to reduce the interest burden on these loans.
Step 2: Emergency Fund Creation
Given your past medical emergency, it's important to build an emergency fund. This will act as a financial cushion for unforeseen events.

Allocate Rs. 5,000 per month from your available Rs. 30,000 surplus.
Aim to accumulate 6 months of your expenses, which should be around Rs. 2 lakh.
Keep this amount in a liquid fund or high-interest savings account for easy access.
After clearing loans, you can increase this allocation further.

Step 3: Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) for Wealth Creation
Once your loans are under control, you will have more surplus to invest. To achieve Rs. 2 crore in 10 years, Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) will play a key role. Here’s how to begin.

Start by investing Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 7,000 monthly in mutual funds initially.

Large-Cap Mutual Funds: Stable returns and lower risk.
Flexi-Cap Mutual Funds: Offers a mix of large, mid, and small-cap exposure.
You can gradually increase this SIP as you free up more funds after repaying the loans.

Step 4: Focus on Retirement through NPS
You are 34 now and should also begin thinking about retirement savings alongside other goals.

Consider investing in the National Pension System (NPS).
You can allocate Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 3,000 per month towards NPS.
It has tax benefits under Section 80C, and the returns from equity exposure can help in long-term wealth building.
Step 5: Use Tax Savings to Boost Investments
Maximize tax-saving opportunities to increase your investment potential.

Section 80C: You can invest in ELSS mutual funds for tax-saving purposes, PPF, or NPS.
Health Insurance Premiums: Take advantage of Section 80D for your and your family’s health insurance.
Any tax refunds or savings should be channelled back into your SIPs to boost wealth creation.
Step 6: Revisit and Reduce Insurance Burden (If any)
If you have LIC policies, especially those that combine insurance and investment, assess their performance.

If the returns are low, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Get a pure term insurance for adequate life cover at a lower cost, which won’t affect your long-term savings.
This strategy helps in cost optimization, leaving more for investments.

Step 7: Regularly Increase SIP Contributions
As your salary increases or once you have cleared your loans, step up your SIP contributions. To reach Rs. 2 crore in 10 years, you will need to invest aggressively.

You can follow the 10% rule for SIP step-ups each year.
As a benchmark, an Rs. 30,000 per month SIP in the long term (post-loan repayment) can significantly increase your chances of achieving your goal.
Step 8: Review and Monitor Performance
Financial plans should be flexible and adaptable. As market conditions change, periodically review your investments to ensure they are on track.

Annually review the performance of your mutual funds with your Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Shift from underperforming funds to better options if required, but always stay consistent with your investment goals.
Finally: Achieving Your Goal of Rs. 2 Crore
Based on the above steps, let’s consider the long-term picture:

Clearing debt in the next 3-4 years will free up a large chunk of your income.
Increasing your SIP gradually to Rs. 30,000 - Rs. 35,000 per month after clearing debt will set you on track to achieve the Rs. 2 crore target.
Stay disciplined and review your portfolio regularly to adjust to changing circumstances.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, i have got three properties (Property 1,Flat, value around 1.5 Cr. no loan. Property 2,Office, value around 2 Cr, no loan. Property 3,Flat, Value around 4 Crs, loan 1.5 Crs). I am staying currently in property 1 and planning to shift to property 3. Rental expected from property 1 and 2 is 50k and 80k respectively. So question is should i continue the loan on property 3 or should I clear that loan by selling either of property 1 or 2.Thanks in advance.
Ans: Understanding Your Current Scenario
You own three properties with no loans on two of them:

Property 1 (Flat): Valued at Rs 1.5 crore.
Property 2 (Office): Valued at Rs 2 crore.
Property 3 (Flat): Valued at Rs 4 crore, with a Rs 1.5 crore loan.
You are planning to shift from Property 1 to Property 3. You also expect rental income of Rs 50,000 from Property 1 and Rs 80,000 from Property 2.

Loan Repayment or Continuing EMI: Factors to Consider
Here are some key aspects you need to evaluate before deciding to sell or continue the loan:

1. Interest on the Loan
The first question is: What is the interest rate on your home loan for Property 3? If the interest rate is high, clearing the loan might make sense.
If your loan interest rate is below 8%, the loan cost is relatively low. You could consider continuing the loan and using your surplus for better investments that generate higher returns.
2. Rental Income Stability
You are getting a rental income of Rs 1.3 lakh from Property 1 and 2 combined. This is a steady income stream that can support your monthly EMIs or other expenses.
If you sell one of these properties, you will lose this stable rental income. Consider how this will affect your long-term cash flow.
3. Opportunity Cost of Selling the Properties
Selling Property 1 or 2 will give you liquidity to clear the loan on Property 3. However, this would result in the loss of rental income of Rs 50,000 or Rs 80,000.
Think about the potential appreciation of these properties. If you expect significant future value increase, holding onto them may be wise.
4. Capital Gains Tax Consideration
If you sell either property, you will need to pay capital gains tax. The tax implications can reduce the actual amount you get from the sale.
Before making a decision, calculate the tax you will need to pay on selling the property, especially if the property has appreciated significantly.
5. Emotional Factor and Usage
Consider how emotionally attached you are to these properties. Would selling a property you’ve lived in or used for a long time affect your decision?
Also, think about how you may want to use these properties in the future. If Property 2 is an office, will it have future business use?
Benefits of Keeping the Loan
Keeping the loan on Property 3 can be a smart option if:

The interest rate on the loan is low.
You can comfortably pay the EMIs from your rental income or other sources.
You want to hold onto your properties for long-term capital appreciation.
Benefits of Clearing the Loan
Clearing the loan by selling Property 1 or 2 might make sense if:

The interest rate on the loan is high and you want to avoid paying interest over a long period.
You prefer a debt-free lifestyle and don’t want the burden of monthly EMIs.
You can sell the property without significant tax losses or future appreciation concerns.
Analyzing Each Option
Option 1: Continue the Loan on Property 3
You keep both Property 1 and 2 and continue earning Rs 1.3 lakh in rental income.
Use this rental income to cover a portion of the EMI on Property 3.
Over time, property prices are likely to appreciate, giving you more equity on these assets.
This option is ideal if you have a low-interest loan and prefer to hold onto your assets.
Option 2: Sell Property 1 or 2 to Clear the Loan
You become debt-free by selling either Property 1 or 2.
However, you lose the rental income from the property you sell.
You might face capital gains tax, which will reduce the actual liquidity you get.
This option works if you want to eliminate your loan burden and don’t mind sacrificing rental income.
Rental Yield vs Loan Interest
Another point to evaluate is the rental yield.

If the rental yield (rental income as a percentage of property value) is higher than your loan interest rate, it may be more profitable to continue with the loan. If it is lower, you may want to consider clearing the loan.

For example, if your rental yield is 3% and your loan interest rate is 8%, the loan costs are higher. In this case, clearing the loan might be a better option.

Tax Deduction on Loan Interest
Don't forget that home loan interest payments qualify for tax deductions under Section 24(b) of the Income Tax Act. If you fall in a high tax bracket, you might get significant tax relief by continuing the loan. This could make the loan cheaper overall.

Finally
Making this decision requires balancing your long-term financial goals and current financial comfort. It’s not just about clearing the loan but about ensuring that your assets and cash flows are optimized for the future.

If your loan interest rate is low and you can comfortably pay the EMI, consider keeping the loan. The rental income you have is steady, and property values are likely to appreciate.

If the loan interest rate is high or the EMI feels burdensome, you might want to clear the loan by selling one of your properties. But do keep in mind the tax implications and the long-term benefits of retaining your properties.

I recommend speaking to a Certified Financial Planner to analyze this further, as personal financial situations can vary greatly.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 44 years old. I have started investing in Mutual funds. I have invested @Rs 2000 each in 4 nos of mutual funds. SBI bluechip - SBI Small cap - Parag Parikh Flexi cap - Icici multi cap growth - How good a mix is this and how much my approximate wealth creation will be at 60. I also have an NPS of Rs 2500 p.m. NPS Vatsalya of Rs 2000 p.m. Provident fund investment of Rs 7000 p.m. Sukanya Samriddhi of Rs 1000 p.m. Other than LICs of around 15000 p.m. How is this strategy and do I need to change anything. I have a son and daughter and i am the sole earner in my family. Net salary is around Rs 94000 p.m. Kindly guide Regards G S Bhattacharya
Ans: Mr. Bhattacharya, your current investment strategy is quite diversified, which is a great start. You're investing in mutual funds, NPS, Provident Fund, Sukanya Samriddhi, and LICs. Let’s take a detailed look at each of your investments and assess how they contribute to your long-term goals, including wealth creation and family security.

Mutual Fund Mix Evaluation
You have chosen a mix of large-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, and multi-cap funds. Let’s break this down:

SBI Bluechip (Large Cap): This fund focuses on stable, large companies. It offers consistent growth with lower risk compared to small- and mid-cap funds.

SBI Small Cap: Small-cap funds are known for high growth potential but come with higher volatility. It's good for long-term wealth creation if you can handle the risk.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap: Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach as they invest across market caps. This fund adds diversification and flexibility to your portfolio.

ICICI Multicap Growth: Multi-cap funds offer broad exposure across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This adds diversity and helps balance risk and return.

Your current mix is balanced with exposure to different market segments. However, you are investing only Rs 8,000 per month across four funds. If possible, consider increasing your SIPs over time to enhance your wealth creation.

You may also want to review your portfolio every year with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure it's aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

NPS (National Pension System)
You are contributing Rs 2,500 per month to NPS, which is a good retirement tool. NPS offers a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. It also gives you the benefit of tax savings under Section 80C and 80CCD(1B). However, at Rs 2,500 per month, your contribution is relatively low. Increasing this amount will give you a more substantial retirement corpus.

NPS Vatsalya
Your Rs 2,000 contribution to NPS Vatsalya adds to your retirement planning. While both NPS and NPS Vatsalya are pension schemes, you need to assess whether maintaining both is necessary. A professional planner can help you decide if consolidating these investments might be more effective.

Provident Fund (PF)
Contributing Rs 7,000 per month to your Provident Fund is excellent for building a retirement corpus. It offers guaranteed returns and is a safe long-term investment. The tax benefits and safety make this an essential part of your strategy. You can continue this contribution as it builds a solid foundation for your retirement.

Sukanya Samriddhi Scheme (SSS)
You are contributing Rs 1,000 per month towards Sukanya Samriddhi for your daughter. This is a great step towards securing her future. It offers attractive interest rates, and the maturity is tax-free. This is one of the best tools for saving for your daughter’s education and marriage.

LIC Premiums
You are paying Rs 15,000 per month towards LIC policies. LIC offers security, but it’s crucial to assess whether these policies are insurance-cum-investment products. These policies often provide lower returns than mutual funds. It might be worth reconsidering your allocation to LIC, focusing on term insurance for protection and mutual funds for growth. If you find that these are traditional or ULIP policies, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in high-return mutual funds.

Wealth Creation by Age 60: Approximate Insights
Given your current investment pattern, let's look at potential wealth creation:

Mutual Funds: With a SIP of Rs 8,000 per month, assuming an average annual return of 12% over the next 16 years, your mutual funds can grow significantly. You could expect a corpus upwards of Rs 50-60 lakh, depending on market performance and how regularly you increase your SIP amounts.

NPS: Your Rs 2,500 contribution per month might result in a decent retirement corpus, depending on how long you continue investing and the equity-debt ratio of your NPS portfolio. Over time, you can expect this corpus to grow steadily.

Provident Fund: Your Rs 7,000 per month in PF contributions will continue building a safe and stable retirement corpus.

Sukanya Samriddhi: Your contributions towards Sukanya Samriddhi will grow until your daughter turns 21, and the tax-free maturity amount will help with her education or marriage.

However, exact wealth creation depends on how consistently you invest and whether you increase contributions over time. Periodic reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can give you better insights.

Family Protection and Financial Security
You mentioned that you are the sole earner in your family. It's crucial to protect your family with a pure term insurance plan rather than relying on LIC's traditional policies for both insurance and investment. Pure term insurance offers higher coverage at a lower cost.

Since you have a son and a daughter, ensuring they are financially secure is essential. You may need to assess your insurance coverage to ensure it meets your family's needs in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Suggestions for Improvement
While your strategy is solid, here are a few improvements to consider:

Increase SIPs Gradually: If your budget allows, gradually increase your SIPs. Even small increases can have a significant impact on your long-term wealth.

Focus on Term Insurance: If your LIC policies are investment-cum-insurance plans, consider switching to term insurance for higher life coverage at a lower cost. Reinvest the difference in mutual funds for better returns.

Review NPS Contributions: Consider increasing your NPS contributions if retirement security is a primary goal. The NPS can be a powerful tool for building a retirement corpus, but your current contributions may be on the lower side.

Keep an Emergency Fund: Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund. Ideally, you should aim for 6-12 months of expenses saved in a liquid, safe investment like a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

Child’s Education Planning: Sukanya Samriddhi is excellent for your daughter. For your son, you may want to allocate additional savings towards his higher education through a dedicated investment plan.

Final Insights
Your current investment approach is diversified and provides a good balance between growth and safety. You have laid a strong foundation for retirement, children’s education, and insurance.

To further enhance your financial security:

Gradually increase your SIPs and NPS contributions.
Shift to term insurance for higher life cover.
Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your long-term goals.
Lastly, don't hesitate to seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for personalized guidance on growing and protecting your wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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