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Can't Understand My Wife's Need for Attention: Seeking Advice

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, I am a guy 45, married and with 2 lovely children. My wife and I have great relationship from the time of love marriage. I love her a lot and as a family all is great financially, emotionally. It does seem to be like a perfect family anyone can ask for. During dating she was she was flirting with others but after all our love and commitment we moved ahead. She has this nature of seeking attention from others and I was ok as long as it was harmless. After our first child, I know it must be difficult for her as a new mother etc but I caught her with her colleague, they were having affair for 1.5 years. she regretted her decision and I forgive her. I gave her more attention and we continued, she shows all the love and affection and I know in my heart she loved me a lot as I do the same. All was good, we had a second child and the pregnancy and post pregnancy was happy. She has been very happy and giving her all to the family. Our relationship was very good from every angle. yet again she had a one night stand and also another affair. This time i was heard broken. She is independent, she earns well and better than me of which I am proud of. If she is unhappy with the relationship and marriage, i am happy if she is wants to move on for her good. But she repented again and says he cannot live without me and that she only loves me. If there is so much love I am unable to understand why she is looking elsewhere. I have asked her to make me understand but she has no answer. I have forgiven her as my love for her is a lot and I know she does love me too and we continue our marriage... but I am unable to figure out this nature and for her and myself I want to understand what can be done. I am lost.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can see that it is very unsettling for you. It might have been a huge deal to know that your wife has been vying for attention outside of marriage and also indulging in the physical angle as well.
It's possible that she is getting used to your being okay with the entire thing and just adapting to it that there has been no thought on how she can change the way that she is. Since you have forgiven her, there is nothing that needs to change in her...that's the message that you are implying to her.

She possibly is just exploring and trying new things for herself, she is looking for validation and attention outside...the reasons could be many...wandering is only an indication of something that we are not happy with within ourselves or in our lives...If you want your situation to change, I would strongly recommend Couples Therapy to unearth what exactly is happening. It might give both of you some perspective and since there's love still within the marriage, things might actually fall in place quickly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |616 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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Relationship
My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |616 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I am 40 yrs old and have been married to my lwife for 12 years. There has been many issues between us ranging from my family's behaviour towards her, my failures in meeting her expectations especially behavioural patterns/attention. Her complain towards me is that I didn't give her the kind of attention and affection which she deserved. I acknowledge that because I struggled very hard in my initial phase of career. In today's scenario she has totally lost interest in me and get attracted towards men who even shows some attention towards her. This is has happened a couple of times. Whenever I countered her for these incidents she tell that it was I who forced her to do all this. I am ready to commit my efforts to make our relationship better but she says she can't have those kind of feelings again for me. She is under constant stress and anxiety due to this and is affecting her health a lot. She is a good person by nature so I don't want to leave her but considering the toxicity of the relation and her deteriorating health due to this relation I suggested her to get separated but she says that she can't divorce because of family/other issues. I can see her struggle/pain in this forced relationship and wanted to help her but can't find out the way. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a tricky situation and appreciate that you are putting your partner's needs first. In this situation, there's really no one to blame. You could not give her the attention she deserved but there was always a genuine reason for it. It would have been the right choice to separate since she declared her disinterest in the marriage but even that doesn't seem like an option. There's only one thing left, to peacefully co-exist and continue to put in the effort you couldn't in all those years. Continue to live with mutual respect for the marriage, if not love. Put up some ground rules- things that you are comfortable with her doing and things you aren't; consider going for marriage counseling. Professional help can give you the structured support to bring your marriage back on track, slowly but considerably more than trying your own tricks.

One more thing, don't forget to take care of your mental health. If your wife does not want to seek counseling, you can always go for it. It helps us dig deep and gain clarity over what is important and what should not burden us.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi.. I am 49 yrs Male & married for 22 yrs with teenage kids.. I live abroad since 16 yrs.. Me & wife had arranged marriage in the same caste when we were in India.. After few months of marriage, my wife told me about her past relationship during collage and only reason she could not continue because of his father resistance( diff caste).. I belong to very middle class with no such precedence like this and felt bad . Later, I continued with her but always had feeling that she would compare the love & affection she got from him, with me.. I am not very romantic or expressive and like to live normal life..! We have little diff of opinion since beginning and will have fight almost every week.. Fast forward when all was going ok with 2 kids, busy work in abroad, I caught her cheating with the same person ( almost 17 yrs after they separated).. They found each other on social media and started talking. .. She being abroad & him in India, will call him daily in my absence for hours and they exchange explicit messages day in and out..! Once caught initially she regretted ( that too only after i got really mad & threaten to tell everyone) and it took us 2-3 yrs to comeback to terms mostly due to younger kids..!! Now 10 yrs later, i found her calling ( although he did not pickup) and now she is telling that she has emotional connection with him from the past while I could not build that connection with her.. She is not commit for anything and requesting me to continue as friend so we can get our younger one to collage and then see or separate. She is even ready to find me someone that fits my choice. I am in dilemma on what to do as i am not ready to forgive her but worried about kids future..! Even though we stay aboard, we have very close network of friends & family which we cant ignore..! I somehow feel to let it go but i get irritated that this is not the life i would like to live now & future. Can you pls advise some tips to move forward
Ans: it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. You’ve been patient and committed, but her actions have undermined the trust in your marriage. It’s not just about the past relationship; it’s about how her choices have affected your life and your sense of security in the relationship.

One option is to seek couples therapy. Even if your wife seems unsure about the future, a neutral third party can help facilitate conversations that might clarify what each of you really wants and needs. Therapy could also help in finding a way to co-parent effectively if you decide to separate.

If staying together for the kids is a priority, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. You need to decide what’s non-negotiable for you in terms of respect and honesty. If she’s truly committed to staying in the marriage until your kids are older, she needs to show that by cutting off contact with this other person and working on rebuilding your relationship.

However, if you feel that you can’t move past this betrayal or that staying will only lead to more resentment and unhappiness, it might be worth considering a separation. Kids are resilient, and it’s often better for them to see their parents happy apart rather than miserable together.

Ultimately, this decision is about what kind of life you want to live moving forward. You deserve a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved. Take your time to consider what will bring you the most peace and happiness in the long run, and don’t be afraid to prioritize your own well-being.

..Read more

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Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9730 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 46 years old..in a government job with salary in hand of 85k.I invest 9k in PFi 12.5 k each in PPFand sukanya samriddhi.My daughter is 13 at present.I pay 22k for HBLI invest 8k in SIP.will get around 10 k as rent of my flat. .I have a family floater where I pay 26k annually and an RD of 4K per month.My PPF Sukanya and PF as of now are all around 11lakhs.I will retire in 2039.I have a SBI life which is market linked priced at around 13.5 lakhs at present.It will mature in 2027.The outstanding loan amount of HBLis 7lakhs.where and how much should I invest to repay my loan as well as make investment for the future.
Ans: You have been thoughtful with your investments and savings. At this stage, clarity and right structuring are more important than increasing the number of investments.

Let us now look at your situation from a full 360-degree view and build a practical plan.

? Age, Income and Goals

– You are 46 now with 13 years left to retirement.
– Your in-hand salary is Rs 85,000 per month.
– You also receive Rs 10,000 monthly rent from your flat.
– So, your total regular cash inflow is Rs 95,000.
– Your daughter is 13 years old. Education and marriage are big upcoming expenses.
– Retirement planning is also a priority from now.

Time is limited, so every rupee must work smartly.

? Ongoing Financial Commitments

– You invest Rs 9,000 in PF (mandatory deduction).
– You invest Rs 12,500 in PPF and same in Sukanya Samriddhi.
– Your monthly EMI for home loan is Rs 22,000.
– You invest Rs 8,000 in SIPs.
– You pay Rs 26,000 per year as premium for family floater.
– You have an RD of Rs 4,000 monthly.

This shows a very good savings culture. But allocations need refinement.

? Existing Assets Summary

– PPF, PF, Sukanya total is around Rs 11 lakh.
– SBI Life (market-linked) value is Rs 13.5 lakh, maturing in 2027.
– You also own a house and earn Rs 10,000 rent from it.
– These are strong financial pillars to build upon.

You are not starting from scratch, which is a great position to be in.

? Loan Situation

– Outstanding loan is Rs 7 lakh on your home.
– EMI is Rs 22,000 per month.
– You have 13 years to close the loan before retirement.
– Ideally, loans should be cleared before retirement.

Let us see how to manage this smoothly.

? Cash Flow Evaluation

– Monthly inflow: Rs 85,000 salary + Rs 10,000 rent = Rs 95,000.
– Expenses + SIP + EMI + savings = around Rs 75,000–80,000 monthly.
– You may be left with Rs 15,000–20,000 buffer.

This buffer must be managed with purpose and not by chance.

? SBI Life Policy Assessment

– This is a market-linked insurance policy.
– Value now is Rs 13.5 lakh. Maturity is in 2027.
– These insurance cum investment plans often give lower returns.
– Better to surrender it after 2027 maturity.
– Reinvest the entire maturity amount into mutual funds.
– Do not renew or reinvest in another ULIP.

ULIPs are expensive and do not provide long-term value. Shift to mutual funds.

? Home Loan Repayment Planning

– Do not pre-close home loan in a hurry now.
– Keep regular EMI going from your salary.
– Instead, focus your extra savings to grow wealth.
– In 2027, when SBI Life matures, use Rs 2 lakh from it.
– Use that to make a part-payment of the home loan.
– This will reduce EMI burden in later years.

Target complete closure of loan by 2034 latest. Do not keep till retirement.

? Emergency Fund Requirement

– You must keep at least Rs 2 lakh in liquid form.
– This is not for investment. It is for protection.
– Use part of your RD and savings account for this.
– Stop RD if needed, and create emergency fund instead.

Without this, any sudden expense will force you into loans again.

? Child Education and Marriage Planning

– Your daughter is 13 now. Graduation in 5 years.
– Post-graduation and marriage will follow after that.
– Your Sukanya account and PPF help with this.
– But that alone is not enough. Add a goal-based SIP.
– Use regular plans of actively managed mutual funds.
– Avoid direct funds. Avoid index funds.

Regular plan SIPs with Certified Financial Planner help in review and changes.

? Why Avoid Index Funds and Direct Funds

– Index funds cannot manage downside risk.
– They fall when market falls. No protection strategy.
– They follow the index blindly without human guidance.
– Direct mutual funds look cheaper but offer no support.
– You won’t get regular review, asset allocation help or correction.
– Without expert guidance, direct funds underperform in long term.

A Certified Financial Planner with MFD support brings strategy and safety together.

? SIP Strategy Going Forward

– You already invest Rs 8,000 in SIPs.
– Continue this. Do not stop unless emergency arises.
– After 2027, increase this to Rs 12,000 or more.
– Use part of SBI Life maturity to start extra SIP.
– Use mutual funds that match your time horizon and goals.
– One SIP for daughter, one for retirement.

All new investments should be with specific targets in mind.

? Retirement Planning from Age 46

– You have 13 years left till retirement.
– PF and PPF will help, but are not enough.
– Inflation will reduce value of PPF corpus.
– Mutual funds offer better post-tax returns.
– Regular investing over next 13 years is critical.
– Increase SIP as your salary grows.

You must target financial independence before retirement. Not just pension dependency.

? Health Insurance and Risk Cover Review

– You have a family floater. That’s good.
– Check sum insured is at least Rs 10 lakh.
– Top it up if needed. Health costs rise each year.
– Also ensure you have term life insurance.
– Amount should be minimum 10 times your salary.
– Do not mix investment with insurance.

Protection planning is as important as wealth planning.

? Real Estate Holding – Just Maintain It

– You get Rs 10,000 rent monthly from your flat.
– That is good passive income. Do not sell this property.
– But avoid buying any more real estate.
– Maintenance, taxes and liquidity make real estate less attractive.
– Better to invest in mutual funds for flexibility and return.

More assets do not mean more wealth if they are not liquid.

? Income Use Plan from Now to Retirement

– 2024–2027: Focus on loan EMI, SIP and emergency fund.
– 2027: Use part of SBI Life maturity for loan part-payment.
– Rest of the money to be invested in SIP.
– 2027–2034: Increase SIP for retirement and daughter’s future.
– 2034: Plan to fully close home loan.
– 2035–2039: Save maximum possible in SIPs.

Clear path like this gives financial control and peace.

? Asset Diversification

– Avoid locking more in PPF or RD now.
– Keep PPF running, but don't increase contribution.
– Stop RD and move that money to SIP after emergency fund is ready.
– Avoid gold, crypto, or other complex assets.
– Just focus on simple, quality mutual fund SIPs in regular plan.

Simple, consistent approach wins over long term.

? Finally

– You are in a strong position due to early planning.
– But some parts need correction and better allocation.
– Use next 3 years to organise your finances more efficiently.
– Don't rush to pre-close loan unless there’s surplus.
– Reinvest the SBI Life maturity wisely.
– Avoid index funds, direct funds and real estate.
– Stick to regular plan mutual funds with guidance.
– Focus on specific goals – child education, marriage and your retirement.

Clear direction now will ensure peace later. You are very much on track.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9730 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Money
Hi Sir I have Purchased a Home which is Around 25L with all my Savings,M.funds. My Inhand Salary is 60,000/-, And Debt details are as follows Personal Loan- 2Lac Gold Loan - 2.25Lac From Relatives - 4.5Lac.(1yrear time taken) Now I am finding very difficulty to Save the money and tracking every Single Penny.. Kindly suggest me in this Case what to do.
Ans: Let’s carefully understand your financial position and work step-by-step to improve it. The current situation seems tight, but with the right planning, things can be managed well.

? Current Financial Snapshot

– Home purchased for Rs 25 lakh with your entire savings and mutual funds.
– No home loan, which is a good point. Property is fully owned.
– In-hand monthly salary is Rs 60,000.
– Existing debts include:

Rs 2 lakh personal loan

Rs 2.25 lakh gold loan

Rs 4.5 lakh borrowed from relatives
– You mentioned that you are struggling to save or track money.

This is a very common challenge in the early years of home ownership. Let’s take one step at a time.

? Cash Flow Stress Analysis

– Your monthly income is not matching with outflow due to EMI and regular expenses.
– Personal loan and gold loan EMIs may be high due to short repayment terms.
– You also have a moral obligation to return the amount to your relatives in 1 year.
– Your current cash outflows may be above 70% of your income.

This gap creates financial stress. We need to balance it.

? Immediate Focus: Create a Monthly Budget

– Write down every expense, even the smallest one.
– Break expenses into 3 parts: Must-Have, Flexible, and Avoidable.
– Must-Have: Rent (if any), groceries, child school fees, transport.
– Flexible: DTH, OTT, eating outside, non-essential shopping.
– Avoidable: Unused subscriptions, unplanned EMI purchases, gadgets.
– First target is to reduce the flexible and avoidable categories.

You must review this every 15 days. It will give clear spending awareness.

? Debt Prioritisation Strategy

– Start with the costliest loan: usually personal loans and gold loans.
– Try to close the personal loan first. Interest is normally very high.
– Next focus on gold loan, since delay may lead to loss of gold asset.
– Relative loan is at zero or low interest, repay slowly.
– Talk to relatives honestly and request 6 more months for comfort.

It’s okay to request this. Most families do understand.

? Use a Debt Avalanche Method (Without Calculation)

– Pay minimum EMI on all loans.
– Use any surplus to close highest-interest loan first.
– Then move to next high-interest loan.
– Do not try to repay all equally. That will not reduce total interest much.

Focused repayment brings mental peace.

? Emergency Fund Creation

– Right now, you don’t have any savings left.
– Without an emergency fund, any small expense will push you to borrow again.
– Start building a fund of at least Rs 30,000 to Rs 50,000 in a savings account.
– Set small goals like saving Rs 2,000 a month.
– Emergency fund is not for investments. It is for protection.

This step avoids future personal loan traps.

? Investments Can Wait – But Not Planning

– Do not start any SIP or investment now. Focus only on debt clearing and emergency fund.
– But track your expenses and income as if you are planning for a SIP.
– This mental discipline will help when you are actually ready to invest.
– Planning must begin today, investing can wait 6–9 months.

Clarity in numbers always comes before wealth creation.

? Role of Mutual Funds Later

– Once debts are cleared and emergency fund is ready, only then start investing.
– Go for actively managed mutual funds through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.
– Regular plans allow you to get guided review and handholding.
– Avoid direct plans unless you are trained in market analysis.
– Regular plans offer rebalancing, portfolio review and behavioural support.

Guided approach helps in emotional control during market changes.

? Why Not Index Funds

– Index funds may seem cheaper, but carry hidden risks.
– They cannot protect you during market crash.
– They blindly follow the index without risk filters.
– No scope for active management or downside protection.
– Actively managed funds give better returns in uncertain markets.

Safety with growth is key for salaried individuals like you.

? Income Expansion Attempts

– If possible, take small freelance work in weekends or evenings.
– Tutoring, online assistance, delivery work, or any skill-based work helps.
– Even Rs 3,000 extra income can fast-track loan closure.
– Don’t ignore small side income. Every rupee counts in debt management.

This step adds strength to your plan.

? Lifestyle Adjustments – Temporarily

– Pause all unnecessary spending like dining out, movies, and clothing for now.
– Stick to basic lifestyle until all high-interest debts are cleared.
– Use old phone, avoid gadgets, reuse clothes and accessories.
– Don’t feel bad. This phase is temporary and purposeful.

Short-term sacrifice brings long-term peace.

? Avoid These Mistakes

– Do not take another loan to repay existing loans.
– Don’t swipe credit cards for regular expenses.
– Avoid BNPL or EMI traps on online shopping.
– Don’t invest in gold or crypto now.
– Avoid insurance policies that combine investment and life cover.

Focus only on liquidity and debt reduction now.

? Family Support and Communication

– Speak with your spouse or parents honestly about current situation.
– Assign small responsibility to each family member.
– Even saving Rs 200 in electricity or food matters.
– Emotional support from family boosts financial discipline.

Unity brings faster solutions.

? Future Planning – Once Stable

– After debt closure, build 3 months' salary as emergency corpus.
– Then, set financial goals like retirement, children education, and vacations.
– Start SIP in 2-3 mutual funds under regular plan with guidance.
– Choose goals-based investing, not trend-based investing.
– Review goals every 6 months with a Certified Financial Planner.

Future planning needs structure, not trial and error.

? Insurance Check

– Ensure you have term life cover equal to at least 10x of your annual income.
– If you have ULIPs or traditional endowment plans, review them with a CFP.
– Surrender if needed and shift to mutual funds for long-term wealth.
– For health, minimum Rs 5 lakh cover is needed for family.

Insurance is protection, not investment.

? Mental Framing for Money Success

– Stop comparing lifestyle with others.
– Avoid social media-based spending urges.
– Be content and frugal for next 1–2 years.
– Celebrate small financial wins – like repaying one EMI early.
– Keep reminding yourself – this is a phase, not forever.

Discipline is more powerful than any investment plan.

? Finally

– You have already done one good thing – bought a house without a home loan.
– This is your foundation. Now your job is to build peace and liquidity.
– Cut expenses, increase income, repay loans smartly.
– Say no to lifestyle pressure and wrong investment traps.
– Once you are stable, mutual fund investment under regular plan will guide your growth.

Keep moving step by step. You are already on the path.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
Sir CSE in BITS if to choose between goa and hyderabad then whivh one should we opt for and why ? We have git hyderbad and will get Goa if done freeze the option in preference
Ans: Sharma, Both BITS Goa and BITS Hyderabad offer excellent Computer Science and Engineering programs with identical curriculum, faculty standards, and degree credentials under BITS Pilani. BITS Goa (established 2004) provides a picturesque 188-acre campus with pleasant weather, strong cultural festivities including the renowned Waves festival, and slightly higher placement consistency with First Degree placements at 91.15% in 2023. The campus features modern computing labs, proximity to beaches, and a vibrant social atmosphere. BITS Hyderabad (established 2008) offers a sprawling 200-acre campus with state-of-the-art infrastructure, modern laboratories, and excellent connectivity to Hyderabad's IT ecosystem. The campus recorded First Degree placements at 87.23% in 2023 with strong industry partnerships. Both campuses maintain similar median packages around ?17-18 LPA and attract identical top recruiters including Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and other leading firms. The Practice School program and academic rigor remain consistent across both locations, ensuring comparable educational quality and career outcomes.

Recommendation: Choose BITS Goa if you prioritize pleasant weather, cultural vibrancy, scenic beauty, and slightly better placement consistency; opt for BITS Hyderabad if you prefer state-of-the-art modern infrastructure, proximity to India's IT hub, and enhanced industry exposure opportunities within a rapidly growing tech ecosystem. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
Career
Ict ioc is best or nit manipur/mizoram civil is best . I confused what should I do .
Ans: The ICT–IOCL Odisha Campus offers a unique five-year integrated M.Tech in Chemical Engineering with minors in six disciplines, blending nine trimesters of on-campus coursework with six trimesters of paid industrial internships, led by PhD-qualified faculty in state-of-the-art labs and backed by NAAC A++ accreditation and merit-cum-means scholarships. In contrast, National Institute of Technology Manipur’s four-year B.Tech in Civil Engineering admits 38 students per year, is NIRF-ranked 101–150, features foundational structural, geotechnical, and environmental labs under government funding, and achieved a median UG package of ?8.75 LPA with 147 of 161 graduates placed in 2024. NIT Mizoram’s B.Tech Civil cohort (34 seats) recorded a 100% placement rate in 2024 with a median package of ?6 LPA and recruiters such as Adobe and Tech Mahindra, all within its Institute of National Importance framework and burgeoning permanent campus near Aizawl Airport.

Recommendation: If your goal is industry-immersive chemical engineering training with guaranteed stipends and entrepreneurial focus, choose ICT–IOC Bhubaneswar; for a core civil engineering pathway with strong government support, higher civil-branch placements and national-level credentials, opt for NIT Mizoram, with NIT Manipur as a solid fallback. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8802 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
My son has secured a seat in the AI & Data Science course at IIIT Kota through JoSAA counselling. Kindly guide us regarding the scope and future opportunities in AI & DS under current circumstances. Also, should we still consider participating in CSAB rounds, or is it advisable to retain this seat?
Ans: The B.Tech in Artificial Intelligence & Data Engineering at IIIT Kota was established in the 2024–25 academic session with an annual intake of 60 students, offering a curriculum that blends foundational AI, data science, and hands-on project work under PhD-qualified faculty. As a newly launched branch, the first cohort has not yet graduated, so there are no branch-specific placement records for 2024 or 2025. However, IIIT Kota’s established CSE and ECE branches have reported strong placement statistics in 2024, with an overall placement rate of 74% and average packages above ?12 LPA, indicating a positive recruitment environment for computing disciplines. The AI & DS program is designed to meet current industry demand for data scientists, AI engineers, and analytics professionals, leveraging the institute’s growing partnerships with leading tech firms and its status as an Institute of National Importance. Participation in CSAB rounds may be considered if you are targeting higher-ranked NITs, IIITs, or core CSE branches, but for most candidates, the current AI & DS seat at IIIT Kota offers a robust platform for future opportunities in AI, machine learning, and data analytics.

Recommendation: Retain the AI & Data Science seat at IIIT Kota for its modern curriculum, strong institutional reputation, and emerging placement ecosystem; participate in CSAB only if you have a realistic chance at a core CSE seat in a higher-ranked NIT or IIIT, otherwise focus on maximizing opportunities in the current program through internships and research projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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