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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 31 year old with 1.5 year old son. I am leaving in joint family. I am a working woman. The problem with me is I feel the only person giving 100% in our relationship is me. Its been 2.5 years we got married, i am handling my expenses as I am working, i am not dependent on him but he never asks for my wishes. He never bough me anything not a single gifts, cakes anything even on special days like birthdays and our anniversaries. I am helping him in his EMIs of loan payments as well but i am not getting phisical or emotional support from him. He even gets angry when i ask for hugs. Sometimes if he gives hug he behaves like he is doing favour. Sometimes i cried at night but he didn't care and goes to sleep peacefully. When my mother in law and i got in argument he supports me less and everytime supports his mom. I helped him in paying in his sister's marriag also. He never takes mr to dates. Whenever we go outside everytime he take his family with us. He never talks to me or asks mr if I need anything. Even after coming from office he spends most of time on mobilr and watching tv. He didn't even take me to small trips, in last 2.5 year we haven't done any trips. He never tries to make me feel special. The worst part was i was alone every night during my pregnancy as hi was having night shifts at that time. When i cried infront of him that i need you tonight i am not feeling well, i am pregnant please be here with me, his answer was work is more important. Who is going to make money for our future and he left me crying at that day. I am feeling like i am the only one who is trying to keep this relationship alive. I am not getting what i expects from him. What to do in this situation.

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing in your marriage. It sounds incredibly challenging and painful to feel unsupported and neglected, especially when you're putting so much effort into your relationship.

First, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Reflect on what you truly desire from your marriage. What specific actions or behaviors do you need from your husband to feel loved and supported? Understanding your needs will help you communicate them more clearly.

When you're ready, find a calm and private moment to talk with your husband. Approach the conversation with the intention of expressing your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing him. You could say something like, "Over the past few years, I've been feeling very lonely and unsupported in our marriage. I know you work hard, and I appreciate that, but I also need emotional support and affection from you. It hurts when my needs are not acknowledged, and I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into our relationship."

Using "I" statements can help focus on your feelings without sounding accusatory, which can make your partner less defensive. For example, "I feel neglected when my emotional needs are not met," or "I feel hurt when you don't acknowledge my birthday or special occasions." This way, you're communicating your feelings without placing blame directly on him.

Be specific about what you need from him. Instead of making general statements, provide clear examples of what would make you feel better. For instance, you might say, "It would mean a lot to me if we could have some alone time, maybe go on a date once a month," or "I would love it if you could ask how my day was and really listen."

If talking to your husband directly doesn’t lead to any changes, consider seeking couples counseling. A therapist can provide a neutral space where both of you can express your feelings and work on improving your relationship. Counseling can help you both understand each other better and develop strategies to meet each other's needs more effectively.

Remember, it's crucial to take care of yourself during this process. Lean on friends or family for support, and consider speaking with a therapist on your own to help navigate these feelings and challenges. You deserve to feel loved, respected, and supported in your marriage, and it's important to advocate for your own well-being.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

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Relationship
Hello mam!! I have been in a relationship since last 3 years and the guy work like normally but expect from me to not work after marriage as according to him it's not a good thing. I sacrifice all mu thoughts and value for him whatever he said i did but he started disrespecting me from words because of his frustration in life. I was like maybe he will not gonna do like this next time but cycle keeps going from like5 to 6 month and finally i decided to stand leave he also follows a pattern to be with me for a time and zoned out himself for like a month and suddenly came and behave normally i was accepting that even without questioning but now he got a decent job and want to marry me with the above conditions he was already made. So what should i do i don't want to think twice with my decisions but it hurt as well
Ans: My Dear Nikita,

It sounds like you have been in a challenging situation for some time, where you have been sacrificing your values and thoughts for your partner, and he has been disrespecting you with his words and behavior. It's important to remember that no one deserves to be treated with disrespect in a relationship.

It's understandable that it hurts to think about leaving the relationship, especially after investing so much time and effort into it. However, you need to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and it seems like this relationship is not fulfilling that for you.

It's important to have a clear and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that his behavior has been hurtful, and that you cannot accept his condition of not working after marriage. It's important to communicate your boundaries and what you need from the relationship.

If he is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to improve the relationship, it may be time to consider ending it. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and your needs are met. It may be difficult, but prioritizing your own well-being is important for your long-term happiness.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025
Relationship
He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.
Ans: The issue with the lack of physical intimacy is not simply about the act itself; it represents a disconnect in your relationship. Your husband's avoidance of intimacy and his reluctance to fully address the matter, despite your efforts, suggest deeper underlying challenges—perhaps emotional, psychological, or situational. While you’ve already taken steps by opening conversations, it’s clear that progress has stalled because this isn’t something you can resolve on your own. A professional intervention, such as couples therapy or sex therapy, could provide a neutral ground to explore these concerns. Presenting this option to him as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship rather than assign blame might help him feel less defensive. However, his willingness to engage will be a critical measure of his commitment to addressing these long-standing issues.

The lack of boundaries with your mother-in-law is another significant stressor that’s undermining your marriage and your mental peace. A healthy relationship requires a sense of security and privacy, which has been compromised by her interference. While it’s natural to want to maintain respect within a family, your husband’s inability or unwillingness to enforce boundaries is enabling a dynamic where you feel powerless and overlooked. The fact that you’ve expressed your concerns and seen no action suggests that waiting for change may not lead anywhere. You need to clearly communicate to your husband that privacy is not negotiable for the survival of your relationship. If he continues to prioritize his mother’s comfort over your peace, it will remain a barrier to the intimacy and connection you’re seeking.

The decision to pursue a job in another city reflects your need to reclaim control over your life and mental well-being. This isn’t just about financial independence—it’s about rediscovering your sense of purpose and confidence after years of feeling stuck. Your husband’s opposition to the idea of a “weekend wife” underscores his resistance to change, but his reluctance to address the core issues in the relationship leaves you with no alternative. Staying in this environment without progress will only deepen your feelings of suffocation and self-doubt. Choosing to prioritize your career is not a failure of the relationship; it’s a necessary step to protect your own mental health. You’ve already demonstrated immense patience and effort over the past five years, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.

As a coach, I would encourage you to focus on actionable steps: seeking therapy for clarity, setting non-negotiable boundaries with your husband regarding privacy and mutual respect, and pursuing your professional goals with confidence. By stepping into a space where you feel empowered, you’ll be in a better position to assess whether this relationship can evolve into the partnership you deserve. It’s important to remember that you’re not walking away from the marriage by making these decisions—you’re simply ensuring that your needs and well-being are no longer sidelined.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am 45 years old and plan to retire in the next five years. My financial portfolio includes shares and mutual funds worth ₹65 lakh, a provident fund of ₹30 lakh, a PPF of ₹15 lakh, and gold valued at approximately ₹30 lakh. I also own a house in a metro city and earn ₹18 lakh per annum from my salary, along with ₹70,000 per year in agricultural income. My monthly expenses are around ₹1 lakh. My wife is a homemaker, and we have a child with autism. Given these factors, is my current financial position sufficient for a secure retirement in five years, considering future expenses, inflation, and my family's long-term needs? If not, what steps should I take to strengthen my financial plan?
Ans: You are in a strong financial position. However, with a child who has autism, future expenses may be higher than usual. A structured approach will help ensure financial security for your family.

Current Financial Position
Investments in shares and mutual funds: Rs. 65 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 30 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakh
Gold holdings: Rs. 30 lakh
House ownership: Fully owned in a metro city
Annual salary income: Rs. 18 lakh
Agricultural income: Rs. 70,000 per year
Monthly expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Your total liquid assets (excluding real estate) amount to Rs. 1.4 crore. This corpus needs to sustain you and your family after retirement.

Key Challenges
High monthly expenses: At Rs. 1 lakh per month, you need a large retirement corpus.
Inflation impact: Expenses will increase over time, requiring a growing income stream.
Child’s long-term care: Special care and education may be lifelong commitments.
Single earning member: Your wife is a homemaker, meaning the entire financial burden is on you.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Your current expenses are Rs. 12 lakh per year. Post-retirement, expenses will continue and grow due to inflation. Assuming an increase of 6% annually, you will need a significant corpus to sustain your family for 30+ years.

Steps to Strengthen Your Financial Plan
1. Increase Investments for the Next 5 Years
Your surplus savings should go into investments.
Invest an additional amount monthly to build a larger corpus.
A mix of safe and high-growth investments will be ideal.
2. Create a Separate Health and Emergency Fund
Medical costs rise with age.
Allocate Rs. 25-30 lakh for medical emergencies.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for yourself, your wife, and your child.
3. Ensure a Dedicated Fund for Your Child’s Future
Set aside a separate corpus for your child's lifelong care.
A mix of fixed-income instruments and mutual funds will work best.
Consider setting up a trust or legal arrangement for long-term financial security.
4. Reduce Gold Holdings and Shift to More Liquid Investments
Gold is not an income-generating asset.
Convert some gold into investments that generate steady returns.
Use this amount to strengthen your retirement corpus.
5. Plan for a Reliable Passive Income Post-Retirement
Your portfolio should generate at least Rs. 1.2-1.5 lakh per month post-retirement.
Fixed-income investments should cover a large portion of your monthly expenses.
Dividend-paying funds and debt instruments will help balance stability and growth.
6. Review and Adjust Your Portfolio Annually
Track expenses and portfolio performance.
Adjust asset allocation based on market conditions.
Reduce risk gradually as you approach retirement.
Finally
Your current financial position is strong, but you need additional investments to sustain your post-retirement life. The next five years are crucial. Focus on disciplined savings, strategic investments, and ensuring long-term care for your child. With the right approach, you can achieve a financially secure and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Hi ,I am 33 yr old living in Mumbai in heavy deposit of 8 lac with 6k per month rent and my in hand salary is 63000 per month ,I cannot save money as my 30 k goes to home (rent,food n all) 30k goes to credit card bill. I have PPF account of 32 k and have a SIP account but zero balance in SIP e as earlier I used to invest in there due to debt I am not able to invest anymore. I don't have mediclaim. Main reason I cannot save is my wife as a home loan of 25000 per month and she is not working currently as a housewife for which I cannot save. Kindly suggest how to overcome debt as every month I couldn't save any penny.
Ans: Your total in-hand salary is Rs. 63,000 per month.
Rs. 30,000 goes toward rent, food, and other household expenses.
Rs. 30,000 is paid toward credit card bills.
Your wife's home loan EMI is Rs. 25,000 per month.
No savings are possible due to high fixed expenses.
You have Rs. 32,000 in PPF but no active SIP.
You do not have health insurance.
Immediate Steps to Overcome Debt
1. Prioritise Debt Repayment

Stop using credit cards immediately.
Pay more than the minimum due on your credit card each month.
If possible, convert outstanding dues into an EMI to reduce interest.
Avoid taking further loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.
2. Restructure Household Budget

Reduce discretionary spending such as dining out, subscriptions, and luxury expenses.
Identify ways to cut rent or household costs.
Explore shifting to a slightly lower rental home to save a few thousand per month.
Control grocery, electricity, and entertainment expenses.
3. Increase Cash Flow

Your wife should consider part-time, freelance, or online work.
Even Rs. 15,000–20,000 per month from her side can help manage EMIs.
Sell any non-essential assets like gold, old electronics, or other valuables to clear some debt.
Building Financial Stability
1. Create an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least Rs. 10,000 monthly once debt is under control.
Keep 3–6 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
2. Restart Investments

Once debt is manageable, restart SIPs in mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Prioritise tax-saving options like PPF and ELSS once your financial situation improves.
3. Get Health Insurance

Buy a health insurance policy of at least Rs. 5–10 lakh for you and your wife.
This will prevent future medical emergencies from becoming financial burdens.
Final Insights
Your biggest challenge is high fixed expenses and credit card debt.
Cutting expenses and increasing household income can help reduce financial pressure.
Once debts are under control, focus on savings and investments.
Health insurance is a must to avoid unexpected medical costs.
Implementing these steps consistently will help you achieve financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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I save approx 90 thousand INR per month. Where should I invest it. I don't want to keep it saving account. This I save after monthly SIP of 30000. Please advice.
Ans: You already invest Rs 30,000 per month in SIPs.

You save Rs 90,000 per month after SIPs.

You want better returns than a savings account.

A clear investment plan will help in long-term wealth creation.

Key Factors Before Investing
Emergency Fund
Keep at least six months of expenses in liquid funds.

This ensures financial security in case of emergencies.

Short-Term Needs
Identify any expenses in the next 3 to 5 years.

Use safer instruments for short-term goals.

Long-Term Growth
Invest for wealth creation.

Balance between equity and debt based on risk appetite.

Investment Allocation for Rs 90,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 50,000 per month)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

This ensures long-term capital appreciation.

2. Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 20,000 per month)
Provides stability and diversification.

Useful for balancing equity risk.

Ideal for short-term needs.

3. Gold Investment (Rs 10,000 per month)
Gold helps in diversification.

Protects against inflation.

Invest in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds.

4. Fixed Income Instruments (Rs 10,000 per month)
Use PPF or fixed deposits for stability.

PPF is tax-free and offers long-term benefits.

Fixed deposits provide liquidity and security.

Additional Investment Considerations
Increase SIP Contributions
If your income increases, raise your SIPs.

This ensures long-term wealth growth.

Avoid Unnecessary Risks
Do not invest in stocks without research.

Avoid high-risk derivative trading.

Review Your Investments Regularly
Monitor your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance based on market conditions.

Final Insights
Invest based on goals and time horizon.

Equity for long-term growth, debt for stability.

Gold provides inflation protection.

A balanced approach ensures financial security.

Regular reviews improve investment efficiency.

A structured investment plan will help you grow wealth efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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HELLO SIR, SOME PEOPLE TAKE LOANS AGAINST MUTUAL FUNDS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET OR AGAIN IN MUTUAL FUNDS SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? THANKS.
Ans: Taking a loan against mutual funds and investing in stocks or mutual funds is risky. It can amplify gains, but it also increases losses. A structured approach is necessary before considering such a move.

Understanding Loan Against Mutual Funds
A loan against mutual funds allows borrowing against existing investments.

The lender provides funds based on the fund’s value.

Interest is charged on the borrowed amount.

The loan amount depends on the type of mutual fund.

Equity funds get a lower loan amount due to volatility.

Debt funds get a higher loan amount due to stability.

Key Risks of This Strategy
Market Risk
If markets fall, the value of mutual funds decreases.

The lender may ask for additional funds.

If unable to pay, the lender may sell mutual fund units.

Interest Burden
Interest charges reduce overall returns.

If investments do not perform well, losses increase.

Returns must be higher than the loan interest to make gains.

Liquidity Issues
Mutual funds remain pledged with the lender.

In an emergency, withdrawal is not possible.

This creates financial stress.

Compounding of Losses
Borrowing to invest increases risks.

If new investments lose value, losses multiply.

Debt burden increases if market returns are negative.

Potential Benefits (Only If Used Carefully)
Can provide liquidity without selling investments.

May work if investments give higher returns than loan interest.

Useful if markets are at a strong growth phase.

Suitable for short-term liquidity needs if repayment is quick.

Alternative and Safer Approaches
Use Emergency Fund Instead of a Loan
Always keep at least six months’ expenses as an emergency fund.

This avoids unnecessary borrowing.

Avoid Borrowing for Stock Market Investments
Investing with borrowed money is risky.

A market downturn can wipe out capital.

Never invest with money that is not owned.

Increase SIP Instead of Taking a Loan
A disciplined SIP approach creates wealth.

It avoids unnecessary interest payments.

Long-term investing in equity mutual funds provides better risk-adjusted returns.

Who Should Completely Avoid This Strategy?
Investors with no stable income.

Those with existing high-interest loans.

People without an emergency fund.

Investors with low risk tolerance.

Those new to stock markets or mutual funds.

Final Insights
Borrowing against mutual funds is a high-risk strategy.

Interest costs can reduce or wipe out potential gains.

It is only suitable for short-term liquidity needs.

Safer investment approaches provide better financial stability.

Building wealth through consistent savings and investing is a better strategy.

Avoid unnecessary risks and focus on sustainable wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir, I am a US Citizen with age 54.5 . Two kids , daughter already graduated and working with no education loan, Son is studying in IIT Chennai 2nd year. I have not invested in any stocks or MF. Current saving is US$1.0 million, with average returns of 5.5%, 3.5 Cr NRE FD with 7.5% return. Have around INR 40.0 L in ULIP plan. Around INR 2.0 Cr in term insurance with yearly payment of INR 1.3 L per year. Have two property in India giving me rent of INR 50,000/- per month. INR 1.0 CR in High value return ( 1.55 L/month). Have liability of 1.2 Cr. US$1.3 Million in 401(K) (as of today and I expect to grow 10% per year) . Real estate (Land/plots/commercials) investment in India is close to US$5.0 Million. My wife is already retired. I am planning on returning to India for good and do not wish to work anymore (My health is not permitting me any more) . My monthly expense is around INR 1.5 L/month and I already have a house fully paid in India. I do not wish to take lot of risk. Kindly suggest how should I manage my finance.
Ans: You have done well in building your wealth. Your financial assets and income sources are strong. You also have a well-settled daughter and a son studying at IIT Chennai.

Your total investments and assets provide stability. You have built a mix of USD savings, Indian fixed deposits, insurance, and rental income. You also have a large real estate portfolio.

Your goal is to return to India and live a financially stress-free life. You do not want to take high risks. Your monthly expenses are well covered, but financial planning will help optimize your assets.

Optimizing Your Existing Investments

Your financial assets generate steady returns. However, some areas need better allocation.

Your NRE FD of Rs. 3.5 crore earns 7.5%. This is a stable income source. Continue this but monitor rates.

Your USD 1.0 million savings generate 5.5% returns. This is reasonable, but consider diversifying some funds into low-risk Indian debt instruments.

Your ULIP worth Rs. 40 lakh may have high charges. Evaluate surrendering it and reinvesting in more efficient investment options.

Your high-value return investment of Rs. 1 crore provides Rs. 1.55 lakh per month. Ensure its safety and sustainability.

Your 401(K) of USD 1.3 million has strong potential growth at 10% annually. This should be retained for long-term wealth preservation.

Managing Your Liabilities

You have a liability of Rs. 1.2 crore. Clearing this should be a priority.

Use a portion of your savings to pay off the liability gradually.

Avoid withdrawing large sums from your 401(K) due to tax implications.

If the liability has a high interest rate, clearing it faster will improve cash flow.

Generating Stable Passive Income

Your current passive income sources include rent and high-value return investments. You need to strengthen this further for long-term stability.

Rental Income: Rs. 50,000 per month is useful. Ensure tenants are reliable and rent payments are timely.

Fixed Deposits: Continue keeping some funds in FDs for stable returns. However, diversify into other low-risk options.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your savings in well-managed debt mutual funds. These offer liquidity and steady returns.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) and RBI Bonds: Once eligible, you can allocate a portion of your funds to SCSS for secure interest income. RBI Bonds also provide stable earnings.

Reallocating Investments for Better Growth

Your portfolio is largely in fixed-income assets and real estate. This ensures stability but limits long-term growth. A better allocation will help protect your wealth while generating steady returns.

Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your USD savings and NRE FD maturity into actively managed mutual funds. These provide professional management and inflation-beating returns.

Balanced Allocation: A mix of conservative debt funds and well-managed equity mutual funds will ensure both safety and growth.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds provide average returns and do not adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted growth.

Gold ETFs: If interested in gold, opt for gold ETFs instead of physical gold. These are safer and avoid storage concerns.

Evaluating Insurance Coverage

Your term insurance cover of Rs. 2 crore is sufficient. However, the premium of Rs. 1.3 lakh per year should be reassessed.

If your dependents are financially secure, reducing coverage can free up funds.

Check if there are more cost-effective term insurance plans available.

Avoid insurance plans with investment components, as they have high costs and low returns.

Building a Medical Emergency Fund

Your wife is already retired, and your health is a concern. Medical expenses should be well covered.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have a strong health insurance policy covering hospitalization and critical illnesses.

Medical Emergency Fund: Keep at least Rs. 50 lakh liquid for medical emergencies. This can be in a fixed deposit or a liquid mutual fund.

Long-Term Care Planning: Consider plans that cover assisted living or home healthcare needs.

Tax Planning for NRI to Resident Transition

Your tax situation will change once you return to India permanently. Planning ahead will avoid unnecessary tax burdens.

NRE FDs: Interest earned is tax-free only while you are an NRI. After returning, they become taxable. Consider shifting funds accordingly.

Tax on Rental Income: Rental income in India is taxable. Utilize deductions like municipal taxes and standard deduction of 30%.

401(K) Withdrawals: Understand tax implications before withdrawing funds. Consult an expert to minimize tax liability.

Capital Gains on Real Estate: If selling property, plan reinvestment or capital gains exemption options wisely.

Estate Planning for a Secure Future

You have built significant wealth across different assets. Estate planning will ensure smooth transfer to your heirs.

Will Creation: Draft a clear will to distribute assets as per your wishes.

Nomination Updates: Ensure all bank accounts, mutual funds, and insurance policies have updated nominees.

Power of Attorney: If needed, assign a trusted person to manage finances in case of health issues.

Trust Formation: If required, consider a trust for seamless wealth transfer and tax efficiency.

Finally

You have created a strong financial foundation. With proper planning, you can enjoy a secure and stress-free retirement in India.

Your passive income sources largely cover expenses. A few adjustments will further strengthen financial security.

Managing liabilities, reallocating investments, and ensuring medical coverage are key priorities. With the right approach, your wealth will last for generations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 22 year old, lost all my savings and earning, I earn 33k/month, Have cronic disease of ULCERATIVE COLITIS IBD, IN 2021, I lost 40k in option trading then I stopped last year in 2023 I started working and lost 2.8 lakh including interest on loan, Took 2 High interest top up loan. I don't know what happened to me I took another loan of 228000 from HDFC which I lost in one day, now I have EMI of 19068 every month, no body in family know about this and my father earns only 18 k per month, losing 4.4 lakh total. Now lost and direction less.
Ans: You are going through a tough time. First, take a deep breath. Mistakes happen, and financial losses can be recovered. Your situation can be improved step by step. Below is a detailed plan to help you get back on track.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You earn Rs 33,000 per month.

You have a total debt of Rs 4.4 lakh.

Your current EMI is Rs 19,068 per month.

Your father earns Rs 18,000 per month.

You lost money in options trading and high-interest loans.

You have ulcerative colitis, which requires medical attention.

Immediate Actions to Stop Further Damage
Completely stop all trading activities. Options trading is highly risky. You have already lost a large amount. Avoid any form of trading or gambling.

Do not take any more loans. Your current debt burden is already high. Additional loans will worsen your situation.

Reduce unnecessary expenses. Your priority is survival and debt repayment. Cut down on luxury, entertainment, and eating out.

Inform the bank about your situation. If you struggle with EMI payments, request a lower EMI or restructuring. Some banks offer relief options.

Avoid using credit cards. Credit card debt carries high interest. If you have outstanding dues, pay only the minimum amount for now.

Debt Management Strategy
List all loans with interest rates and tenures. Prioritize clearing high-interest loans first.

Consider a personal loan balance transfer. If you find a lower-interest option, transferring your loan can reduce your EMI burden.

Increase EMI payment when possible. Paying more than the minimum EMI will reduce your overall interest burden.

Try negotiating with lenders. Some banks may offer lower interest rates or waive penalties for good borrowers.

Building a Stable Financial Foundation
Create a monthly budget. Allocate funds for rent, food, medical expenses, EMI, and savings. Stick to it strictly.

Start a small emergency fund. Save at least Rs 5,000 per month in a separate account. Do not touch this money.

Look for additional income sources. Try freelance work, part-time jobs, or skill-based gigs to increase earnings.

Seek medical financial assistance. Check if your employer provides health insurance. If not, explore government or private schemes.

Emotional and Mental Health Support
Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Keeping everything inside can cause stress. Seek support from someone you trust.

Consult a financial counselor. A professional can help you restructure your debts and plan better.

Practice stress management techniques. Exercise, meditation, and proper sleep will help you stay mentally strong.

Long-Term Financial Recovery Plan
Avoid any high-risk investments. Focus on stable investments once you are financially stable.

Enhance your skills for better career growth. Upskilling can increase your income over time.

Build a long-term savings habit. Even Rs 1,000 per month in a safe investment will help you grow wealth.

Final Insights
Your financial problems are serious but not impossible to solve.

Your priority is debt repayment and stability, not investment or quick money-making methods.

Take control, follow a strict financial plan, and be patient. Improvement will take time, but you can recover.

Seek professional financial and medical advice where needed.

You are young, and you have time to rebuild. Stay strong and focused.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7750 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am Ganesh, unmarried and just started 25 years old in life..I am earning 50k per month salary. I need a detailed plan for managing my salary in different areas. My expenses 15000 Save money for parents Have to invest somewhere for future use Have to save some amount for emergency situations. Extra expenses Could you please give me a detailed process on it.
Ans: At 25, you have a great opportunity to build a strong financial base. Managing your salary properly now will help you in the future. Below is a detailed breakdown of how to allocate your income effectively.

1. Understanding Your Monthly Income and Expenses

Your monthly salary is Rs. 50,000.

Fixed expenses, including rent, food, and bills, are Rs. 15,000.

You want to save for your parents.

You need to invest for future growth.

You want to save for emergencies.

You have extra expenses that vary.

A structured approach will help you meet all these goals.

2. Allocating Your Salary Efficiently

A good way to divide your income is using a structured plan. You can follow this method:

50% for essential expenses – This covers rent, food, bills, and necessary costs.

30% for investments and savings – This will help grow your money over time.

10% for emergency savings – This ensures you have money for unexpected situations.

10% for extra expenses and lifestyle – This is for entertainment, travel, and hobbies.

This allocation ensures that you balance living today and securing your future.

3. Managing Fixed Expenses

Your fixed expenses are Rs. 15,000, which is 30% of your salary.

You are already spending within a good limit.

Always track where your money is going.

Avoid unnecessary spending on subscriptions and impulse shopping.

Use cashback offers and discounts whenever possible.

Reducing unnecessary spending can increase your savings and investments.

4. Supporting Your Parents Financially

Set aside a fixed amount every month for them.

If they need medical support, consider a health insurance plan.

Instead of giving a lump sum, help them with small monthly contributions.

Discuss their financial needs so you can plan effectively.

Even a small, regular contribution will make a big difference over time.

5. Saving for Emergency Situations

You should have at least 6 months’ expenses saved for emergencies.

Set aside Rs. 5,000 per month in a liquid fund or savings account.

This money should only be used for medical, job loss, or urgent needs.

Keep the emergency fund separate from other savings.

This fund will provide peace of mind during unexpected financial difficulties.

6. Investing for Future Growth

Your investments should be planned based on your goals and risk tolerance.

Mutual Funds: Start SIPs in equity mutual funds to build wealth.

PPF: Invest Rs. 12,500 annually for safe long-term growth.

NPS: Consider investing in NPS for retirement savings and tax benefits.

Gold: Avoid investing in physical gold, but digital gold or gold ETFs can be considered.

Investing early will help your money grow faster over time.

7. Managing Extra Expenses and Lifestyle Costs

Keep a budget for travel, entertainment, and hobbies.

Avoid spending too much on unnecessary things.

Use credit cards carefully and pay bills on time.

If you want to upgrade your lifestyle, increase your income first.

Planning for extra expenses ensures you enjoy life without financial stress.

8. Planning for Career Growth

Your salary will increase over time, so plan for future growth.

Upskill yourself with new courses to get better job opportunities.

Consider setting aside money for certifications or higher studies.

Networking and learning new skills can boost your income.

Improving your career will increase your earning potential and financial stability.

9. Tax Planning to Save Money

Use deductions under Section 80C by investing in PPF, ELSS, or NPS.

Get health insurance to save tax under Section 80D.

Keep records of all investments and expenses to file tax returns easily.

Use HRA and other tax-saving options to reduce taxable income.

Smart tax planning will help you keep more of your earnings.

10. Tracking and Adjusting Your Financial Plan

Review your budget every month.

Track investments and savings to ensure you are on the right path.

Increase your investment amounts whenever your salary increases.

Avoid unnecessary debt and maintain financial discipline.

Regular tracking helps in achieving long-term financial success.

Finally

You have made a great decision to plan your finances early. By following this structured plan, you can balance your expenses, support your parents, save for emergencies, and invest for a secure future.

Stay disciplined, track your finances regularly, and keep increasing your savings as your income grows.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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