Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Married for 7 Years, Feeling Burnt Out: How Can I Get My Husband to Support Me Financially?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Madam i am married for almost 7 years as of now and last year i have been blessed with a daughter. I have had a job which was sufficient to fulfill my expenses and i use to save a bit too and therefore can claim I wasn’t dependent on my husband. After the birth of my child , my work has been affected which has also put an impact on my earnings. My husband doesn’t support me and my daughter financial needs and i am now feeling the burnout of raising me and my child and managing our day to day expenses single handedly. I have communicated this to my husband but he pays no heed to it. Please advice.

Ans: It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time, managing the responsibilities of raising your daughter and handling the financial burden on your own. After the birth of a child, it's normal for work and earnings to be affected, but the fact that your husband isn't supporting you financially—especially when it comes to your child’s needs—must be very frustrating.

The first step is to have a clear, calm conversation with him again. Sometimes, financial issues become a matter of miscommunication or a lack of understanding about the situation's seriousness. Make it clear how much pressure this is putting on you, both emotionally and financially. He needs to understand that raising a child is a joint responsibility, and financial support is a big part of that.

If direct communication doesn’t help, you may need to consider seeking outside support. Whether that’s through family, counseling, or legal advice, it’s important to know that you don’t have to bear all this weight alone. In some places, the law ensures that both parents are responsible for a child’s welfare, including financially. It might help to consult a family lawyer to understand your rights in this situation.

In the meantime, try to reach out to supportive friends or family members who might offer temporary emotional or financial help. You deserve to feel supported, and it’s not fair for everything to fall on your shoulders. Don’t hesitate to explore different avenues to get the help you need for both you and your daughter.

Remember, it's not just about your financial health, but also your emotional well-being and your daughter's future.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I am a housewife with two kids, younger one is 3 years old. I used to be working before the birth of my second child. I can't join back the job as we are nuclear family and husband is busy whole day with his work. I have to take care of the house and kids almost full day. Sometimes I’m frustrated and irritated. I gave talked about this to my husband but not much respite. He says 'I’m doing my job to earn. You do your job to look after house.' Don't know what to do.
Ans:

Dear PS,

Typical nuclear family with very little family support relies solely on the mother being the caregiver and this can result in a lot of frustrations. Understood!

But what exactly are you trying to do fighting the situation knowing that things might be the same for a few years down the line till the children grow a little older? Are you planning on being frustrated for all these years?

Also, someone needs to give your husband a talk on these gender specific remarks and pushing the job of the home to you.

Maybe he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but well…

In the digital world, there is enough and more to do to use the skills that a person has. So why not explore, a work-from-home part time option?

Depending on what your expertise is and the time that you can give to the work from home option, why don’t you focus on searching for this?

This will require an amazing time management and organization skills on your part, so you are able to give it at least 3-4 hours a day.

This will not only keep you occupied and financially stronger, it will also give you a sense of direction and purpose which is what is currently lacking.

Also, if you have an option of a ‘nanny’ for even two hours during the day when the children can be kept busy, you can even have some time for yourself which will re-energize you.

Caring for two small children is no mean feat and make sure when you discuss the work-from-home option (If you choose this), with your husband, you emphasize how important it is for you along with managing the home.

The commitment ‘to do something for yourself’ will be the focus of your discussion and please do something before your frustrations start seeping out and get onto the kids which might eventually happen.

First, be happy yourself to nurture your home and family.

Step Up…All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done
Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |546 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am a working women, i have to take care of my parents expenses and also take care of my expenses , i have a child 8 years old, my husband is not supporting me financially, he just spend most of his money for his wants, and no savings so far even after 15 years of marriage, how to make him understand about savings i have quarreled many times on this but no use, i feel like to go away from him, kindly suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry about your situation. It sounds stressful and you have every right to be worried. Here are a few ways to sort this out:

The first and the most obvious one- communication. I am sure that you have communicated your concerns to your husband but let's give it another try and this time, make sure it's non-confrontational. For instance, just casually mention the financial burden that is on you without assigning any blame to him. Try "I" statements instead of "You." He might come to a realization that he needs to put in more effort to relieve you of your burdens. Try mentioning some shared goals that you won't achieve if you don't join your finances and share the responsibilities. Next, tell him that you both should start tracking your expenditures and set a budget at the beginning of every month. Try a more practical approach. Set up monthly deposit schemes that would automatically deduct the money from your accounts. Last but not least, seek support from a trusted family member or close friend. While they might not be able to give you any concrete solution, sharing your woes can make you feel lighter.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am married for 5years with 2kids.. i am an employee and had to stay 100kms away from my native place on work purpose.. I opted to take my kids along as they are too small(3+ and 1+).. I asked my husband to accompany me as he is unemployed and staying at home.. But he refused and likes to stay with his mother.. He has a brother to look after his mother and his married sister also stays very near to them.. I sometimes feel very stressed out to handle my job and look after my kids.. i have no support from my husband neither emotionally nor financially.. i tried everything possible but he just talks about my earnings not wt i am going through.. wt i should do?
Ans: In a partnership, mutual support and shared responsibilities are essential, and it’s natural to feel frustrated and even resentful if your husband is prioritizing his comfort over your needs and well-being. Since he’s not providing emotional or financial support, it might be time to set some boundaries and expectations to protect your own peace and ensure you’re not carrying everything alone.

Start by calmly sharing how this situation affects you—not just financially but emotionally and physically. Emphasize that while you understand his desire to stay close to his family, your situation is not sustainable, and you need him to step up. You might also consider counseling, either together or on your own, to find ways to cope with your stress and explore solutions to address this imbalance in your relationship.

If he’s unwilling to make changes or support you even after open conversations, it may be necessary to think about your long-term well-being and that of your children. Your strength and resilience in handling so much on your own are admirable, but you also deserve a partner who is invested in your happiness and shares the load.

In the meantime, is there any possibility of support from family, friends, or childcare services near your work location? Having some practical help, even temporarily, could relieve some of your stress and allow you to focus on what’s best for you and your children going forward. Remember, you are not alone, and reaching out to build a support network can make a world of difference in helping you navigate this challenging time.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2108 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi Mayank, My son has specific learning disability and have pwd certificate with more than 40% benchmark, he is very good in maths and logical reasoning but very poor at language portion, he has recently given JEE, there is probability of getting in government funded college, but my concern is wheather he will be able to tackle the pressure of college, I have discussed with my son regarding the various options as he is very keen on computer science, I wanted to know what are the various options available with gim so that he can lead a successful life, he is hard working and open to many ideas, thanks in advance.
Ans: Hello Sir,
It's great that your son is hardworking and open to different ideas! Given his strong aptitude for math and logical reasoning.
Here are some options.

Government-Funded Colleges (IITs, NITs, IIITs, GFTIs): If he qualifies for these, he will get support under the PWD category, including extra time in exams, scribes (if needed), and relaxation in certain academic criteria.
Private Universities (BITS, IIIT-H, Ashoka, Shiv Nadar, Plaksha, etc.): Some private institutions offer excellent CS programs with flexible learning environments.
Specialized Accommodations: Many colleges provide support like extra tutoring, note-taking assistance, language support, and mental health counseling.

Regarding Coping with College Pressure:

Choosing the Right College: Look for institutions that offer strong disability support and a friendly learning environment.

Developing Learning Strategies: Text-to-speech tools, structured note-taking apps, and assistive learning technologies can help.

Seeking Mentors & Support Groups: Connecting with peers or seniors who faced similar challenges.

Internships & Hands-on Learning: Real-world projects can build confidence and skills outside academic pressure.

Alternative CS Education Paths
Online Degrees (IIT Madras BSc in Data Science, Georgia Tech MS Online, etc.): A flexible option if he prefers self-paced learning.
Coding Bootcamps (Scaler, Masai, Pesto, Newton School, etc.): Fast-track career-focused programs.
Open-Source Learning (CS50, MIT OCW, Udemy, Coursera, etc.): Helps in skill-building without the pressure of formal college exams.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x