I was married 3 years before and I found that my wife had relationship with another man prior to the marriage itself. She continues physical relationship with him even after our marriage and got pregnant by him. I am unable to prove there relationship because they are very secret about this and calls him brother Infront of others. How can I come out from this marriage provided I am legally father of a child now. Please help!!

Ans: Dear AK, time to sit down, talk and figure out if she and you want to be in this marriage.

Also, do you want to work on this marriage, do you want to continue?

Couples drift apart for various reasons and some may lead to finding a new sense of identity and thrill outside of marriage.

I guess it’s time for some reality check questions and truthfully answering them.

I am not going to pin your wife down or ask you what went wrong as this is for the two of you to talk and iron out.

Kindly take the help of a professional who can guide you both in an impartial manner, throw deep reflective questions to both of you so that it helps you reach some sort of decision.

In the meantime, understand that any connection outside of marriage happened for a reason and 11 years is a long time. To imagine that it can be broken off just like that is a good hopeful imagination.

So, it takes time and for her to understand that her marriage to you is important and that she can tactfully move away from the other connection requires some reflection on her part too.

Do support one another and it’s possible to rebuild the marriage if both of you choose to.

Create a good life!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you came clean to your wife and she is helping you come out of this mess. I am sure you know this, but still, I'd like to point out that you are a lucky man to have a partner such as your wife. Focus on that.

You might be in love but you are also married and that makes your love unethical. And meditation does not help in all things, and it's a tough feat to achieve. I suggest you see a marriage counselor or seek therapy yourself. There's no shame in seeking help. You left your concerns and questions here for me, and that's seeking help too. That is a good start. Now I recommend you see a professional who can help you with structured guidance. Before your marriage falls to pieces, I highly recommend taking proactive steps. Sometimes we can't do it alone and that's when licensed therapists come in. Please think about seeing one.

Best Wishes!