HI..I Am married 10 years ago with 2 kids .My wife loves me a lot but she gets angry very soon on little issues. As she also losses interest in sex. But i love to do that 2-3 times in week. So i have to choose another way to satisfy myself.What should i do that she takes more interest and gets less angry ?

Ans: Dear HS, Isn’t it time that you actually asked your wife what she wants rather than just focusing on what you want?

Since you haven’t mentioned her age, I may not be able to relate a particular phase of a woman’s life and sex in relation to that age. But broadly, I can say that for a woman to be in a mood to have sex/make love only when she is emotionally well and fit.

Maybe there is an underlying stress condition that must be looked into as this might make her lose interest in sex.

Also, certain hormonal changes with age can make women less responsive in bed. And sometimes a few medical conditions may also cause this challenge.

Whatever, it maybe, she is your partner and spouse. I would suggest that you first get down to a peaceful communication where the intent is not to drive your agenda of sex but instead being there for her and understanding her as well.

This will create a space of trust where she will be able to share her feelings and what she is going through.

Do get a basic blood work done where a few medical conditions can be ruled out as well.

And if it still persists, then it’s perhaps time to seek a professional out who can help put things into perspective by going deeper into what exactly is going on.

A strong emotional distress maybe the cause for this too.

Whatever it maybe, be with her through this entire journey. She will need a friend to fall back on for sure.

Happy bonding and all the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Did you try and find out why she isn't interested in sex or are you too busy focusing on why you are not satisfied. There are two people involved in the act, then why complain about it? Takes two to tango, right?

So, I suggest, instead of convincing her (a woman who is connected with her partner emotionally and feels safe and secure with him does not need any convincing), try to be empathetic and find out what she is feeling. Is she unwell or tired from the day or is simply not aroused enough? (You haven't mentioned her age; if she is a new mother or approaching menopause or is firefighting at her work place, she might not be in that zone that you are in). Do spend time with her outside of the bedroom connecting with her emotionally. Be genuinely interested in her life's moments. Cuddle, watch a movie, go on date nights...

Start by simply focusing on connecting better as a couple and hear what she has to say. It maybe a very simple thing...Key is to not focus on what's not happening but on what more must be done...CONNECT BETTER first...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Ritesh,
Your question is quite similar to many others' and my responses have been keeping in mind the age of the woman here.
Many women either have menopaused at this age or are in the process...The sexual urge drops drastically for women as there is depletion of a very vital hormone; estrogen. You can find more information on this in books and on the internet.
When there is almost no or nil sexual interest as the body does not want to indulge in the act, how do you get her to like it?
But all is not lost; what I suggest is for you to clearly communicate your needs without expecting things to heat up in the bedroom. Instead, indulge in a lot non-sexual intimacy acts like cuddling, kissing and more...If she is worried about how menopause has impacted her sex life, suggest to her that she can visit a doctor who will then suggest on how to combat all of this.
But also expect her to say a firm NO to all of this. In that case, please be patient, loving and supportive. Things usually turn around with the understanding that you display genuinely and she may very well want to try adapting to the new phase of life with sexual intimacy in it as well...
be patient, educate yourself on menopause and spice things up outside of the bedroom with little focus on sex. It may work!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Vivek,
Keeping these statistics in mind does not help you or anyone. This is not a competition!
De-focus from these numbers and instead start to focus on what made your wife lose interest in sex. This will help you help her and understand her better. And once, you know the root cause, it becomes easier to 'talk' about it and then set things right!
Yes, you need to have that 'talk' with your wife so that she has a place where she can communicate to you as to why she does not feel excited? If it's anything that needs medical attention, then you can act quickly on that as well.
De-focus from what you want to what both of you can work towards! It will be a WIN-WIN!

All the best!