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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vivek Question by Vivek on Aug 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu , I am 43 YO and my wife is 37 . We have a 6 YO daughter. I am not happy with our sexual life. I want to have sex 2 times a week but my wife rarely agrees for it. We have sex only 2 times a month. I am not happy with it . Please advice.

Ans: Dear Vivek,
Keeping these statistics in mind does not help you or anyone. This is not a competition!
De-focus from these numbers and instead start to focus on what made your wife lose interest in sex. This will help you help her and understand her better. And once, you know the root cause, it becomes easier to 'talk' about it and then set things right!
Yes, you need to have that 'talk' with your wife so that she has a place where she can communicate to you as to why she does not feel excited? If it's anything that needs medical attention, then you can act quickly on that as well.
De-focus from what you want to what both of you can work towards! It will be a WIN-WIN!

All the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 36 yr old married man and have sex with my wife 2-3 times a month. We both satisfy each other as each session last for 20-25 mins. Only problem is I feel like having sex every single day and my wife doesn't feel the same. What should I do?
Ans: It's common for couples to have different levels of sexual desire, and this difference can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction. Here are some steps you can consider to address this situation:

Open Communication: The first and most important step is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your desires and feelings. Make sure you approach this discussion with empathy and without judgment.

Listen to Her Perspective: Ask your wife how she feels about the frequency of your sexual encounters. It's important to understand her perspective and any factors that may be contributing to her lower libido, such as stress, health issues, or changes in her life.

Explore the Reasons: Try to understand the reasons behind your different levels of desire. Sometimes, underlying issues like relationship problems, stress, or unresolved emotional issues can affect one's libido.

Seek Professional Help: If the difference in sexual desire is causing significant tension or dissatisfaction in your relationship, consider consulting a sex therapist or couples counselor. They can help you both explore your desires, identify any underlying issues, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Compromise: In many cases, couples find a compromise that works for both partners. This might involve finding ways to enhance your emotional connection outside the bedroom, exploring different ways of being intimate that don't necessarily involve intercourse, or finding activities that both of you enjoy.

Self-Care: It's important for you to take care of your own needs and desires as well. Engage in self-care activities and hobbies that can help you manage your sexual frustration in a healthy way.

Respect Boundaries: It's crucial to respect your wife's boundaries and not pressure her into more frequent sexual activity than she's comfortable with. Consent and mutual desire are essential for a healthy sexual relationship.

Stay Patient and Understanding: Remember that sexual desire can fluctuate over time and may be influenced by various factors. Continue to communicate openly with your partner and be patient as you work through this issue together.

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am having a home loan of 12 lac for 20 years @8.7p.a. roi. I am about to have estimated 4500 Surplus every month out of which I will invest rs 1200 in sip with 1% step up every year and rest in principal. My query is 1-Please suggest the fund names for excellent growth to recover all the interest and principal(if possible). 2- Bank has committed to review and revise roi every year based on my cibil. I want to get this statement verified from the expert 3-My Cibil score is 790 at present. I am a regular user of credit card, pay dues timely, my average monthly bill is 2000/- only. and as told above I am going to have a home loan. I want my cibil score 825. How much time will it take to increase my cibil by 35 points.
Ans: Hello;

Your home loan of 12 L with 8.7%(considered fixed for calculation sake)and 20 year tenure is expected to have an interest outgo of 13.36 L

If you start a SIP of 1200 with 1% top-up each year then it will yield you a corpus of 14.55 L, after 20 years,thereby covering your interest outgo

If you want principal also to be covered for recovery through your investment then you must make a SIP of 2100 with 1% top-up each year which will yield you a corpus of around 25.56 L, after 20 years, thus exceeding your entire loan outgo(principal+ interest) of 25.36 L.

Here I have considered moderate return of 13% and recommend you to invest in PPFAS flexicap fund.

CIBIL score of above 750 is considered excellent and bank should offer you best possible ROI. Do check with other banks for best offer.

CIBIL Score calculation depends on:
Repayment history(35%)
Credit Utilisation (30%)
Credit history(15%)
Credit Mix(10%)
New Credit(10%)

My opinion is you are already in the excellent cibil rating category and should get best ROI from the bank.

CIBIL score increase happens over a period of time based on positive development on aforementioned criteria.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

Happy Investing!!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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