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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1355 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vivek Question by Vivek on Aug 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu , I am 43 YO and my wife is 37 . We have a 6 YO daughter. I am not happy with our sexual life. I want to have sex 2 times a week but my wife rarely agrees for it. We have sex only 2 times a month. I am not happy with it . Please advice.

Ans: Dear Vivek,
Keeping these statistics in mind does not help you or anyone. This is not a competition!
De-focus from these numbers and instead start to focus on what made your wife lose interest in sex. This will help you help her and understand her better. And once, you know the root cause, it becomes easier to 'talk' about it and then set things right!
Yes, you need to have that 'talk' with your wife so that she has a place where she can communicate to you as to why she does not feel excited? If it's anything that needs medical attention, then you can act quickly on that as well.
De-focus from what you want to what both of you can work towards! It will be a WIN-WIN!

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 36 yr old married man and have sex with my wife 2-3 times a month. We both satisfy each other as each session last for 20-25 mins. Only problem is I feel like having sex every single day and my wife doesn't feel the same. What should I do?
Ans: It's common for couples to have different levels of sexual desire, and this difference can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction. Here are some steps you can consider to address this situation:

Open Communication: The first and most important step is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your desires and feelings. Make sure you approach this discussion with empathy and without judgment.

Listen to Her Perspective: Ask your wife how she feels about the frequency of your sexual encounters. It's important to understand her perspective and any factors that may be contributing to her lower libido, such as stress, health issues, or changes in her life.

Explore the Reasons: Try to understand the reasons behind your different levels of desire. Sometimes, underlying issues like relationship problems, stress, or unresolved emotional issues can affect one's libido.

Seek Professional Help: If the difference in sexual desire is causing significant tension or dissatisfaction in your relationship, consider consulting a sex therapist or couples counselor. They can help you both explore your desires, identify any underlying issues, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Compromise: In many cases, couples find a compromise that works for both partners. This might involve finding ways to enhance your emotional connection outside the bedroom, exploring different ways of being intimate that don't necessarily involve intercourse, or finding activities that both of you enjoy.

Self-Care: It's important for you to take care of your own needs and desires as well. Engage in self-care activities and hobbies that can help you manage your sexual frustration in a healthy way.

Respect Boundaries: It's crucial to respect your wife's boundaries and not pressure her into more frequent sexual activity than she's comfortable with. Consent and mutual desire are essential for a healthy sexual relationship.

Stay Patient and Understanding: Remember that sexual desire can fluctuate over time and may be influenced by various factors. Continue to communicate openly with your partner and be patient as you work through this issue together.

..Read more

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Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |879 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

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Career
Hi Sir, I am 41 years old. I've 15 years of experience in Finance (FP&A) domain. In last 2.5 years I have changed 3 companies due to lay off, Cultural misfit and latest one due to Personal and family issue. I quit my last job in Sept'24 (from Apr;24 to Sept'24). Due to some family issues, Lay offs, Challenges faced on the job I am feeling very low. I don't have any confidence left as a result don't want to return to work out of fear and anxiety. However, I also want to upskill myself and thinking of pursuing US CMA. But I am in dilemna that with around 15 years of work experience would it open any gates for growth opportunities going forward. Another dilemna that I am constantly fighting is to whether think of making a switch from Finance domain to Learning & Development domain. I have good communication & interpersonal skills and have always had a liking towards L&D domain. Now myself on a Career break I am not sure how to proceed further - Whether to pursue my Career in Finance and look for jobs in Finance domain and then gradually look to switch to L&D domain or Look for the opportunities only in L&D domain. I have an emergency fund that can take care of my expenses for next 6-8 months. Looking forward to your guidance that can help me bounce back in my career as I am feeling lost, depressed and Lack of Confidence at present in life. Thanks.
Ans: Learning is a continuous process. So doing a course in Finance should not be a problem. As far as getting into LnD domain, start with being a faculty in one of the colleges or can start with taking private tuitions. See if it suits you. If it does, then you can decide to make the switch.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7206 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

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Money
Sir, Im a 48yrs old, my monthly salary is 2.5L my expense and my family expense i need 1L per month. I planning to leave my work from June-2026. In-between this period i can invest a month 1.5L. I can invest from this Dec-2024,So where i can invest for my future, which plan is best return give to me?. If i invest mutual fund or stack market or Nifty -50, how many year need to invest? minimum. 1 year or 1.5 year can invest monthly basis? or 5 years above plan only have.? Pls give me your guidance. Im confusing about . Thanks & Regards Prakash from Thanjavur, Dt
Ans: Your Current Financial Snapshot
Age: 48 years.
Monthly Salary: Rs. 2.5L.
Expenses: Rs. 1L per month.
Monthly Savings Potential: Rs. 1.5L from Dec 2024 to June 2026.
Retirement Planned: June 2026 (1.5 years away).
Your focus should be on ensuring financial security post-retirement and balancing short-term and long-term returns.

Key Investment Strategy
1. Short-Term Investments (1.5 Years)
Since your investment horizon is limited, focus on low-risk options with stable returns.

Debt Mutual Funds: Ideal for low volatility and reasonable returns. Use short-duration or liquid funds for flexibility.
Fixed Deposits or Recurring Deposits: Use these for safe, guaranteed returns with easy liquidity.
Sovereign Bonds (T-Bills): Consider Treasury Bills for short-term secure returns.
Avoid heavy exposure to equities or Nifty-50 for this period due to potential market volatility.

2. Post-Retirement Monthly Income Plan
After retiring in June 2026, ensure a steady cash flow with the following allocation:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Invest a portion in balanced or conservative hybrid funds to withdraw monthly income while preserving capital.
Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS): Once eligible at 60, invest for a regular, safe income with high returns.
Debt Instruments: Keep part of your corpus in FDs or debt mutual funds for liquidity.
3. Long-Term Growth Strategy
If you can continue investing beyond June 2026, allocate part of your corpus to equity for inflation-beating growth:

Equity Mutual Funds: Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds for growth.
SIP in Nifty-50 Index Funds: These are suitable for moderate risk-takers seeking simple, long-term returns.
Balanced Advantage Funds: Ideal for long-term goals with dynamic asset allocation.
For long-term equity investments, a horizon of 5+ years is recommended to mitigate market volatility.

Step-by-Step Plan for Monthly Savings (1.5 Years)
Allocate Rs. 1.5L monthly as follows:

Rs. 75,000 (50%): Debt mutual funds or fixed deposits for short-term stability.
Rs. 45,000 (30%): Balanced advantage funds for moderate risk and growth.
Rs. 30,000 (20%): Large-cap equity funds or Nifty-50 index funds for long-term growth (only if you extend beyond 1.5 years).
Additional Recommendations
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have at least Rs. 12-15L as an emergency fund before investing aggressively.
Health Insurance: Upgrade your health insurance to cover unforeseen medical expenses post-retirement.
Tax Planning: Maximise benefits under Section 80C through ELSS, PPF, or EPF. Use other tax-saving instruments as applicable.
Avoid Overexposure to Stocks: Direct stock investments are riskier unless you have expertise. Stick to diversified mutual funds.
Final Insights
For 1.5 years, focus on low-risk investments like debt funds and FDs.
Extend equity investments for at least 5 years to see meaningful growth.
Balance risk and returns by diversifying across asset classes.
Regularly review your portfolio and adjust based on retirement needs.
For personalised planning, connect with a Certified Financial Planner to align investments with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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