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Torn between love and family: What should a young woman do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Sunita Question by Sunita on Sep 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Ma'am I love one boy and I am having strong feelings for him but as he is from different caste my parents are not agree for marriage and my brother is also tracked my phone . I am suffering here a lot . Ma'am pls advice me what can I do for that? Am I bad girl or characterless for doing so ? My parents are torchering me that if I talk to him then they will commite suicide. So aam pls suggest me what should I do . My relationship with him is 3 years now..

Ans: Dear Sunita,
No, you are not a bad girl or characterless for having feelings for a boy.
Now, why your parents don't agree to this could only be because of the caste thing or financial position...parents of a girl so worry about how their girl will adjust to a new culture and money worries can only make their worry get larger.
Do find out what their concerns are...they are only trying to make you see their point of view by using emotional blackmail like suicide etc. Instead of running away from it or being scared, face the issue at hand and talk to them in a manner that you understand what their worries are.
Then you and your partner together find a way to address these concerns...at least it's one step towards action.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My name is Anamika 27 years old from Punjab and about 17 months back i met person prakash from Bangalore age 42 through social media and initially it started as friendship and now we are loving each other a lot and we have met once and both spent considerable time together and we are ok to get married each other...problem is my family will not accept for love marriage and they are against love marrisges...i am punjabi and boy is south indian..there is 15 years age gap between us..for that reason also my family members will not accept boy...because he is 15 years elder than me...boy is already married and divorced...now i am planning to run away from home and get married with boy...as my family will not allow me to marry the person whom i love a lot...and don't want to miss thst boy...please advise what i can do in this given situation...i have brother too who is very aggressive and supporting my parents
Ans: Dear Anamika,
By running away, you are only making things more complicated for yourself.
You said: That you family WILL NOT accept this...how do you know if you still haven't asked them?
Also, let's say that they say NO...Find out what their concern is...being from the previous generation, they most likely might have an issue with him being divorced; which means you need to make an effort to make the boy and your parents meet. Let them also see what you see in him.
How easy it is to run away rather than actually facing things head on, right? Face the, fix them, work on them...then you will have a chance at more blossoming relationships. No where in your letter, I could read what the boy's opinion or reaction to the matter is. What does he feel about all this? How committed is he as you are the one planning to leave everything behind? How is his family background? These are missing gaps in your story and I urge you to look into this before taking any step. Marriage is not a movie type fairy tale; it is literally breaking into a new life and making something together as a couple. Do you two have that in you? Think...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.
Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2026Hindi
Money
have lic jeevan saral policy plan 165 from June 2011 for 15 years with life coverage of Rs50000/- . Age at the time of policy 51 and Yearly premium Rs 24260/ Please inform maturity value at June 2026
Ans: I appreciate your patience in holding this policy for many years.
Many people continue such policies without clarity.
You are doing the right thing by seeking understanding now.
This shows maturity and financial awareness.

» Basic Understanding of Your Policy
– You started the policy in June 2011.
– Policy term is 15 years.
– Maturity is due in June 2026.
– Entry age was 51 years.
– Yearly premium is Rs 24,260.
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.

This policy is insurance plus savings combined.
Such policies focus more on forced savings.
Protection element is very small.

» Total Premium Paid Over Policy Term
– You pay premium for full 15 years.
– Yearly premium remains constant.
– Premium payment ends before maturity.

By maturity, total premium paid will be substantial.
This is important for comparison.

» How Maturity Value Is Decided
– This policy does not give bonus like others.
– It works on a maturity value factor system.
– Maturity value depends on age and term.
– Loyalty additions may be added at maturity.

Returns are pre-declared, not market linked.

» Expected Maturity Value Range
– For your age and premium, returns are modest.
– Such policies generally give low annual growth.
– Growth is closer to traditional savings products.

Based on past experience with similar cases:
– Maturity value is usually between Rs 4.5 lakh to Rs 5.2 lakh.

This is an approximate range.
Exact figure depends on final loyalty addition.

» Why Maturity Value Feels Low
– Large part of premium goes toward costs.
– Mortality charges are high due to entry age.
– Returns are not linked to equity growth.

These factors reduce wealth creation potential.

» Life Cover Assessment
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.
– This amount is too small today.
– It does not protect family needs.

Insurance objective is not fulfilled properly.

» Investment Assessment
– Policy forces discipline, not growth.
– Returns do not beat long-term inflation.
– Purchasing power reduces over time.

This impacts real wealth.

» Liquidity Aspect
– Money is locked for long term.
– Exit before maturity causes loss.
– Flexibility is limited.

This restricts financial freedom.

» Risk Versus Reward Balance
– Risk is low.
– Reward is also low.
– Long holding period gives limited benefit.

Such balance does not suit wealth creation.

» Tax Aspect at Maturity
– Maturity proceeds are usually tax free.
– This is a positive aspect.
– But tax benefit alone is not enough.

Net outcome still remains weak.

» Emotional Attachment Factor
– Long association builds emotional comfort.
– Familiarity creates false security.
– Numbers should guide decisions.

Money decisions must be practical.

» Opportunity Cost Over 15 Years
– Same premium invested differently grows better.
– Time value of money is lost here.
– Compounding opportunity is underused.

This is the hidden cost.

» Should You Continue Till Maturity
– You are very close to maturity now.
– Only limited premiums remain.
– Exit now may reduce value.

From pure practicality, holding till maturity makes sense.

» What To Do After Maturity
– Do not reinvest maturity money here again.
– Do not buy similar policies.
– Separate insurance and investment clearly.

This improves clarity and control.

» Insurance Requirement Going Forward
– Insurance should be pure protection.
– Cover amount should be meaningful.
– Premium should be affordable.

This protects family properly.

» Investment Requirement Going Forward
– Investments should focus on growth.
– Long-term horizon suits market-linked options.
– Discipline should be maintained separately.

This builds real wealth.

» Why Such Policies Are Not Ideal
– They mix two different objectives.
– They dilute both protection and growth.
– Transparency is low.

Clarity always wins financially.

» Should You Surrender Similar Policies
– Yes, for long-term underperforming policies.
– Especially investment-cum-insurance types.
– Evaluate surrender versus paid-up carefully.

Each policy needs separate review.

» If You Hold Any Other LIC Policies
– Check premium versus life cover ratio.
– Review maturity value realistically.
– Assess opportunity cost honestly.

Do not assume all LIC policies are safe wealth tools.

» Behavioural Lesson From This Policy
– Forced savings feels comfortable.
– Comfort does not equal efficiency.
– Awareness changes future outcomes.

This lesson is valuable.

» 360 Degree View of Your Policy
– Protection is inadequate.
– Returns are low.
– Liquidity is poor.
– Tax benefit is limited advantage.

Overall outcome is average at best.

» Positive Side You Should Acknowledge
– You maintained long-term discipline.
– You honoured commitments regularly.
– You avoided policy lapsation.

This discipline is powerful.

» How To Use This Discipline Better
– Channel it into transparent investments.
– Keep insurance purely for protection.
– Review annually with clarity.

Discipline plus right structure creates wealth.

» Finally
– Expected maturity value is around Rs 4.5 to 5.2 lakh.
– Exact amount will be known near June 2026.
– Holding till maturity is sensible now.
– Avoid repeating similar products later.

You are in a position to improve future outcomes.
This awareness itself is progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2026Hindi
Money
Sir I have Aviva life insurance policy premium payable 10 years,I have already paid 5 years, I want to discontinue, can I and how much surrender value can I get.
Ans: I appreciate that you are taking a clear decision about your Aviva life insurance policy.
You have courage to review and possibly improve your financial choices.
This step shows responsibility and seriousness about money.

» Can You Discontinue / Surrender the Policy
– Yes, most Aviva regular premium life policies allow surrender after some years of premium paid.
– If you have paid at least the minimum required number of premiums, you can get surrender value.
– Most Aviva plans require at least 3 years’ premiums before surrender value applies.
– If you have paid 5 years already, you satisfy this condition in most cases.

So yes, you can discontinue and surrender the policy now.

» What Happens When You Surrender
– When you surrender, the policy stops.
– All life cover, benefits and future bonuses stop immediately.
– You get a surrender value based on premiums paid and the rules of your policy.

» How Much Surrender Value You Might Get
Exact amount depends on your specific policy terms. But typical factors are:

– Insurance companies usually pay a Guaranteed Surrender Value.
– They sometimes also pay a Special Surrender Value if it is higher.
– You get the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.

For many Aviva regular premium plans, a typical Guaranteed Surrender Value pattern looks like this:

– After 3 years: about 30%
– After 4 years: about 50%
– After 5 years: about 55%
– After 6 years: about 57.5%
– After 7 years: about 60%
– After 8 years: about 65%
– After 9 years: about 70%
– After 10 years: about 90%
– After full term: 100% of premiums paid

So if you have paid 5 years of premiums:
– You may receive roughly around 50% to 60% of your total paid premiums as surrender value.

The actual number will be based on your exact policy contract.

» Example (Illustrative Only)
If you paid Rs 1,00,000 total premiums by 5 years:
– Surrender value might be roughly between Rs 55,000 and Rs 60,000 under standard terms.

This is not exact for your case.
It is just to help you understand the mechanism.

» Special Surrender Value Component
– In some policies, the insurer may credit a special surrender value.
– This may include some part of bonuses or reserves.
– If it is higher than Guaranteed Surrender Value, you get that instead.
– Special values may change over time with company policy and regulator approval.

» What Documents You Need to Submit
Generally, you need these:
– Surrender discharge form from insurer.
– Original policy
– KYC documents like PAN and Aadhaar.
– Cancelled cheque for bank account.

The insurer will guide you with forms.

» What Happens After You Submit Surrender Request
– Company reviews premium history.
– They compute surrender value.
– They pay you the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.
– This amount is paid to your bank account.

» Tax on Surrender Value
– Surrender value of life insurance can be taxable.
– It may be treated as income from other sources in some cases.
– Tax depends on policy type and premium structure.

You should confirm tax treatment before finalising surrender.

» Things to Know Before You Surrender
– You lose life cover immediately.
– You lose future bonuses if any.
– Surrender value is often much lower than premiums paid.
– Early exit penalties apply in many policies.

Surrendering is possible, but cost can be high.

» Why Surrender Value Is Lower
– Insurers recover acquisition costs and commission.
– Early exit penalties apply.
– This structure impacts early-year exits heavily.

Because of these reasons, surrender value feels disappointing.

» Should You Consider Alternatives
Before surrendering fully, consider:
– Paid-up option.
– You stop premiums but keep reduced benefits.

Paid-up may give better value than immediate surrender.

Your exact option depends on policy terms.

» Important to Check in Your Policy
Ask for a written statement showing:
– Guaranteed surrender value as on date.
– Special surrender value, if available.
– Paid-up benefit details.
– Impact on coverage and future benefits.

Always take figures in writing.

» Next Step for You
– Contact Aviva customer service.
– Ask for surrender value quote today.
– Ask for paid-up option quote also.
– Compare both before deciding.

Getting clarity reduces regret later.

Finally, you are free to stop the policy now.
But surrender value will be lower than premiums paid.
Decision should balance loss versus future benefit.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6769 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Career
Sir, I completed my 12th standard from CBSE with PCM in 2025, and I am currently preparing for the COMEDK exam, through which admissions are given to top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. However, my 12th result was not very good because I did not prepare properly. As a result, I got an RT (Repeat in Theory) in Chemistry. In my CBSE marksheet, I am shown as overall pass because I had taken six subjects, due to which Chemistry became an additional subject. As you know, Chemistry is a compulsory subject for engineering colleges, so I appeared for the NIOS On-Demand Improvement Examination for only the Chemistry subject, and I have passed it. Sir, I want to know whether two marksheets from different boards—one being the CBSE marksheet showing overall pass, and the other being the NIOS marksheet for a single-subject improvement in Chemistry—are accepted by top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. Also, will these documents be accepted during COMEDK counselling document verification?
Ans: Yes. Generally, top private engineering colleges and COMEDK counselling accept a CBSE overall pass marksheet along with an NIOS single-subject Chemistry pass marksheet, provided Chemistry is passed, and you meet eligibility. Still, final acceptance depends on COMEDK/college verification rules. However, it is highly recommended that you carefully review the COMDEK brochure. If you have doubts about our clarification or reply, it would be better to visit the administrative office of any top engineering college in person and ask them directly without any hesitation to resolve your problems/doubts across the table instantly. With this, you will be free from stress that you hold in your mind. Now, focus more on COMDEK and try to score more. Best of luck to your bright future.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

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