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Torn between love and family: What should a young woman do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Sunita Question by Sunita on Sep 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Ma'am I love one boy and I am having strong feelings for him but as he is from different caste my parents are not agree for marriage and my brother is also tracked my phone . I am suffering here a lot . Ma'am pls advice me what can I do for that? Am I bad girl or characterless for doing so ? My parents are torchering me that if I talk to him then they will commite suicide. So aam pls suggest me what should I do . My relationship with him is 3 years now..

Ans: Dear Sunita,
No, you are not a bad girl or characterless for having feelings for a boy.
Now, why your parents don't agree to this could only be because of the caste thing or financial position...parents of a girl so worry about how their girl will adjust to a new culture and money worries can only make their worry get larger.
Do find out what their concerns are...they are only trying to make you see their point of view by using emotional blackmail like suicide etc. Instead of running away from it or being scared, face the issue at hand and talk to them in a manner that you understand what their worries are.
Then you and your partner together find a way to address these concerns...at least it's one step towards action.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Madam i am 21 years old having a good post at central government as at erly age i got job and i joint it now i am 22 and having a boyfriend he is also central government officer and he is age 29 bu despite of the age gap the love bloomed and we are so in love with each other i told my family early tge condition and said that i want to marry him but my parents said after 25 we will ger u married but by sharing this at hone they are not having trust on mr and are being insecure and wants me to leave a government job and to come home because he is not from same caste and it will also be interstate marriage my family is having the fear of relatives and my mother us against of it they are saying intercaste marriage we will not support or accept continuously emotional blackmail to me trying to manipulate, brainwash me and abusing me emotionally verbally and physically. what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dear sir, I have been working in pharma segment n I have a terrible experience to share almost 5–6 companies have not settle my genuine dues of salaries and expenses. Some are almost 5–8 yrs old n the latest one is almost 75 days old. Some have some special statements written on there appointment letters, which gives them freedom , and others seem to have no concerns at all. I cannot take legal action against them as a don't have so much money. In the latest episode, my company says that they cannot give me my full n final till the time stockist does not pays his dues to the company. In this regards, I want to inform you that 1 I have no dues on the stockist 2 I have returned all my property 3 companies settlement time is of 45 days 4 after fighting so long I have received one part as salary but expenses are still held they say that they will only settle my dues when the stockist pays his pending payments. 1 I have no dues certificate from all stockists 2 And my views on this is 1 I'm not in organization now, how am I responsibile for the old payments of my time, because it's responsibility of the current staff to follow up for his secondary n payments 2 party's due on company is around rs 46000 but stockist already has non sellable goods of rs 70000 in his shelf . 3 the current staff do not meet the stockist, help in liquidation of stocks or clearing payments. Kindly help me with your detailed view in how to get my ffs from this organization as I have 1 written several times on main with no proper response. 2 I have called many times to hr n concerned managers but they repeat same thing, ie payments of one stockist Kindly help me with solution to get my ffs from this n old pharma companies. Thanks Jasvinder singh
Ans: You need legal support. Please contact senior advocate Mr. Tanoj Joshi with my reference. Search about him in LINKEDIN.
He is a very good person and he won't charge you much if you give my reference. Please give me the update. Best of luck. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor...........................:)

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