Me and my wife are just living together being married for 15 years with 13 year old daughter, intimacy has become zero. Even if I touch her by mistake she doesn't like it. Though we sleep on same bed, we do nothing now. Just yes no, kind of conversations. I do not agree with something is taken personally, telling no is becoming a pain. Telling yes then I would be doing it with low interest. She even planned vacation with my daughter without involving me. Marriage is without sex, naughty talks, role plays, touch. I feel we are on verge of heading for divorce!! Talking to her more than 5 mins leads to some or rather irritation. Silently suffering.

Ans:

Hi Pardeep,

Something is definitely weird about your wife being so repelled by the act of physical love, to the point of shouting you away from her!

It could be anything, from feeling self-conscious about her body or some deep-rooted trauma that she’s coping with, or simply that she’s not enjoying sex any more or feels put off by it for some reason.

Is it that she was just tolerating sex even earlier in your marriage and doesn’t feel the need to do so now? Or did she enjoy it before and this phase has come on post having children?

You obviously can’t get through to her, so let a professional try to do so; I’d suggest visiting a marital counsellor as soon as is possible.

Ans: Hello Keshav

It sounds like you're going through a tough time in your relationship. It's important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding towards your wife's perspective. It could be that she's going through her own challenges that are affecting her desire for physical intimacy. It could also be that the dynamic of your relationship has shifted with your return, and you both need to find a new balance.

The first step is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your feelings and concerns. Listen to her perspective and try to understand what might be causing her lack of interest in physical intimacy. It's important to approach this conversation without judgment or blame.

If there are underlying issues that need to be addressed, it might be helpful to seek the support of a couples therapist or counselor. They can help you both work through any challenges and find ways to improve your intimacy and connection.

In the meantime, it's important to focus on building emotional intimacy in your relationship. This can be done through spending quality time together, having meaningful conversations, and expressing appreciation and gratitude for each other. This may help to improve your physical intimacy over time.

Remember, every relationship has its ups and downs, but with effort and communication, you can work through challenges and strengthen your connection with your partner.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's highly possible that hormonal fluctuations can cause these challenges. Or it could just be sheer boredom in the bedroom routine.
Get a check-up done with the doctor who can rule out any deficiencies or hormonal dips which can be set right easily. Of course, do talk to your wife and spice things up a bit...every marriage goes through a phase where intimacy seems dull and boring; it's up to the couple to recognize it, accept it and then see what to do about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/