Dear LG,
My boyfriend is very handsome and nice but he is of a jealous kind.
He says it is okay if I talk to other boys but every time I talk to someone we fight.
He wants to check my phone and he says I can check his phone too.
He does not like my choice of clothes or my wearing dresses. He dresses how I want and always asks if I like what he is wearing. If I don’t, next time he changes.
Is this good to go ahead or not good? I am not sure but I like him and my family likes him too.
SK

Ans:

Dear SR,

He’s just in the playing field, trying out new things and experimenting.

You are possibly looking at a commitment which I am unsure of whether he is ready for it!

When you say that you are in a relationship, are you a couple or have you been simply hanging out together for the sake of being in each other’s company?

Relationship has a different meaning for each person. For some it’s being together and hanging out, for some till they are asked out, they don’t consider it a relationship.

So, please have a chat with him as to whether he wishes to be serious or not, is he looking for a long-term commitment or not.

When he digs deep for answers, he will also understand his mind space better, and it will give you a clear indication as to where this is all headed.

Till then all you will be doing is fixing and repairing his playing field.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Priya,
It seems you're experiencing a relationship with mixed behaviors from your boyfriend. On one hand, he supports you financially and shows affection, but on the other, he becomes verbally abusive and dismissive when angry. This duality can be confusing and emotionally draining.

It's important to recognize that his abusive behavior, even if it's only during moments of anger, is a significant issue. Such behavior can erode your self-esteem and sense of safety over time. Abuse isn't just physical; verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging.

When someone shouts at you or dismisses your feelings, especially in public, it indicates a lack of respect and self-control. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and should not be excused or normalized, regardless of the moments of kindness and support he shows.

Consider discussing your concerns with him during a calm moment, emphasizing how his behavior affects you. If he's willing to listen and seek help, such as anger management or couples counseling, there might be a way to address these issues. However, if he dismisses your concerns or refuses to change, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you're consistently treated with respect and love. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can also help you navigate this situation and make the best decision for your future.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You got yourself a boyfriend who can get jealous and act pretty immature; but in his defense he possibly didn't even know that he could act up like this, yeah?
Let his settle with these jealousies and insecurities and maybe a bit of reassurance from your side can ease him a bit BUT do let him know that this kind of reactions are not very welcome. Your relationship must be built on trust and understanding and NOT insecurities and doubts.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/