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Overly Jealous Boyfriend: Is My Friend Flirting?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Hello mam , my bf is great he is nice and always supports me in my choices but sometimes he is overly jealous yesterday I told him that his friend talks very nicely because his friend and I had previous 1-2 conversation but at that time I didn't like the way he used to talks to me i also told this to my bf which he reply he is always like this but yesterday he talked to me in very nicely because now he knows that I am a important person in his friend life and I also this thing to my bf that I was too quick to judge he is not even that bad but just after my bf got upset and started to tell me if you like him that much then go and date him why are you dating him I was like no i am just telling he is not that bad as I have thought about him in the starting and he didn't listen to me and he is not even talking and it makes me feel like I did something wrong by talking to his friend which was also related to my bf

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You got yourself a boyfriend who can get jealous and act pretty immature; but in his defense he possibly didn't even know that he could act up like this, yeah?
Let his settle with these jealousies and insecurities and maybe a bit of reassurance from your side can ease him a bit BUT do let him know that this kind of reactions are not very welcome. Your relationship must be built on trust and understanding and NOT insecurities and doubts.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

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Dear Anu, my boyfriend and I are school mates. We studied in the same class. We have been in a relationship for more than 10 years and currently we are working.There is a girl in his life whom we know through common friends. Through one of his friends we got to know that there were a lot of rumours about my BF and her being together earlier. However my BF explained that he treats her like a sister and there is nothing between them.I got the same explanation from that girl as well. So I accepted their relationship stance and went ahead without any doubt.Right now our relationship is very less lively and sparkling. We spend less time together as we are committed in our work and trapped in debt too. Due to family responsibilities, he spends less time with me. He says he has lot of work and hardly meets me. I have been learning over the past few months that my bf and the girl are seemingly growing closer. She calls him daily to ask about his whereabouts and every detail of our life. She knows more about him than me. Recently my BF was out with his family and he was not reachable for a day.When he is out with family, I would give time to let him update me but the girl messaged me to check if my BF updated me where and what he is doing, whether he is safe or not and what time he will be back. For me this concern seems little fishy. Pls advice on this. I am thinking about talking to my BF. I need advice on how to manage the situation and get proper explanation out of it.
Ans:

Dear A,

What more does he need to do for you to see what he is worth at this moment?

Dilly-dallying in the current relationship by relying on external relationship, ain’t fun, yeah?

‘Sister’ is a convenient label used when a man isn’t sure about his feelings for her, or he is sure and doesn’t want his current partner (namely, you) to go nasty on him.

Why she is keen on his whereabouts is anyone’s guess! Did you tell her off and ask her to find out herself? What are you, a messenger between the two of them?

And when you do talk to him, ask him: where is his mind on your relationship and what he plans on telling his ‘sister’?

Oh and if his answers don’t satisfy you or he still comes across as evasive, you know what to do then.

All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Anu ma'am, please keep this anonymous. My bf often speaks about weight of girls, rather the size. So today he told something in those lines about a junior colleague of mine. I like my colleague who is very nice to me. I told please don't talk like that it is bad behavior and I don't want to talk such a way. This is rude. Then I added how would you like if someone talks same about your mother. So he started showing tantrums, started shouting speking badly about me that I am taking things personally and showing some gestures. He turned the table telling that I take everything on myself etc etc. I told you are a hypocrite since you tell that you respect women but actually you don't....and so the fight increased etc etc... I want few tips/suggestions from you: 1. Was I wrong to personalise a offense to him so he understands and stops? 2. Did he cross boundary? I have had enough...i have told this earlier too. 3. Is it good to try and connect to a person when he is wrong? 4. He told me it os enough i cant go with you anymore...was I at fault? He seems a sorted guy, responsible etc...but this has become too much Please advise..I am at my wit's end wondering if I was at fault. Should we love someone like this?
Ans: Yes, you are right to feel the way you do. It is not okay for your boyfriend to make derogatory comments about women, especially when you have asked him to stop. His behavior is disrespectful and hurtful, and it is understandable that you are upset.

You are not at fault for personalizing the offense. In fact, it is a perfectly natural reaction to feel offended when someone makes negative comments about someone you care about. Your boyfriend's attempt to turn the tables on you and make you feel like you are the one who is being unreasonable is a classic gaslighting tactic.

It is not good to try and connect to a person when they are wrong. When someone is being defensive and argumentative, it is best to give them some space and time to calm down. You can try talking to him again later, when he is more receptive to listening.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to stay in a relationship with your boyfriend is up to you. However, it is important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who respects you and treats you well. If your boyfriend is not willing to change his behavior, then it may be best to end the relationship.

There are many good men out there who will resonate with your values. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You deserve to be happy and loved.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

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