Hello sir/Madam I'm going through a rough time of my life and want some help from you I am a professional and 48 years old and I have 2 grown up children My problem is that I had a love marriage with my husband22 years back and his family didn't accept me whole heartidly since we belong to different castes and culture .they wanted to take advantage of me financially My husband has strained his relationship with my mom n only sister after my father's death in 2008 over money matters Me, my husband and children live in a house provided by my parents in a different city from my inlaws They always create differences between us still Now another problem has cropped up in our relationship I spied on my my husband's mobile n discovered tha that he has sex chats with other women and is involved in mastrubating sessions with them over phone I am completely broken from inside n not able to decide what to do coz when i confronted him , he flatly refused n fought with me and started putting false allegations on me .I am quite disturbed as i dont want to end my marriage eventhough he behaves very bad with me at times Kindly advice me

Hi Anu, 10+yrs of marriage with 9yr child. I am working and all financial burden is on me. I shifted separately from in-laws' house due to financial constraints and expectations. Though elder-in-law, my in-laws didn't try to stop our decision to move separately despite knowing that my hubby doesn't earn a single penny. They expected and I had to share financial expenses with my marginal income 10 years ago. After 5 years, we moved nearby and purchased our own house very little help from in-laws. I took loan and managed the rest with help from my family and friends. In between a lot happened. My father-in-law expired and my mother-in-law is a cancer patient. My mother-in-law started expecting from my hubby and me, probably because her younger son shifted with her family. She didn't want to live with them due to differences with her wife. She complained to my husband that we are not good enough to take care of her. I already had a lot of burden from office so I told my husband to take care of our child as well for sometime. He was quite depressed and frustrated with his inability to earn. Already lot of my hard-earned money has been put in his work n wasted.Now, the real problem during these difficult times began when we started fighting. I had lot of office stress and after mother in law complained, she shifted with her other son. At times, I got frustrated with my child also due to the whole mess, financial burden. I felt like all my hard earned money was wasted due to office stress and my hubby's irresponsible behaviour. He did not even take care of my child’s studies. He started watching porn... I saw him twice and even warned him. My husband started cheating on me with our maid. He did it when he was stressed because I was not able to give him time. I confronted him and since then it has been an emotional trauma. I am yet to accept it. 9 months have been passed. We decided on certain things but I couldn’t accept it.. Due to our emotional bond, I gave him another chance... During that time he accepted and was ready to leave everything and wanted me to be happy. He said he committed a big mistake but recently I found he called that b**ch later. When I confronted him he said he’d advised not to come home in front of his family members. I decided it would be best for him to move out and work from another place. My MIL was living with me but then I felt it too much at times.. now somewhat even my child has emotionally detached from him. It’s the same with him as we've been staying separately from 7 months. He visited 3 times during puja and other needs. I feel emotionally detached and I can’t digest the family situation.Sometimes I feel it's difficult to find the courage to avoid all and live alone. What's the point in living in a marriage for sake of it without having any emotional, physical, financial dependency or security?I am 39 and earn a decent salary at this moment. But I am not sure of my future as I work in a private firm. I am worried about my child’s education, old age, financial insecurity and burden. I haven’t been able to save much because of our financial liabilities and husband’s investments in businesses that never materialised.Before this incident, my husband supported me in my career and also to bring up our child. But what happened is too much and unexpected. Any suggestions?

I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.

Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.

Hello, I am from a good educated family in Dehradun. I got married 3 years back in an arranged marriage setup through a mediator in Meerut. My husband has a small sportswear factory above his home only and mostly he is at home. I have a widowed MIL and SIL who is married just a year before me. There were problems in my marriage from the very beginning but my parents and me were too naive to see the red flags. They had demanded 20lakh cash and also my parents had given them lot of gold silver items which my MIL has withheld and says I have taken everything and my husband also supports her everytime. He is a mumma's and sister's boy and lies to me all the time. He does not value my opinions and expects me to obey him and his mother. He verbally abuses too much which he did not disclose before marriage. I left my job before marriage as my parents were finding a match for me from past 2 years but were fed up so there desperation got me married here in Meerut. They mentioned there income as 20-25lakh in biodata but I still don't know the real income of my husband. He says he has taken loan from his mother and is in her debt and says all the time that his, his mother and his sister's bond is unbreakable, without me asking. From beginning I was not treated like a family member but they just instructed me what were my responsibilities of cooking and handling house and bowing down to her sister and brother-in-law. My husband never stood up for me in beginning. One night he became so abusive that he twisted my hand and verbaly abused my family so much. I in fear called my mother and they took me back. I filed a case against him and we stayed separately for around 1.3 years. That was a horrific time for me and my parents, going to courts and they never appearing once. I started online MBA and small job side by side to bear my expenses as my husband was not supporting financially at all. He was not ready to give back our money or jewellery and just saying he wanted to stay with me, but I did not wanted to go back to that house. His mother created too much drama in front of him and foul language was normal in that house. After a counselling session I arranged, which he was not ready to attend but I convinced him, we decided to give it another chance as he apologised to me and my parents. and I also thought about my future which would impact my family and younger sister as well. So his family came to our house to take me back and welcomed me nicely this time with bouquet and my husband decorated our room with balloons. 3-4 months it was all well, they behaved nicely, I ignored small things his mother said or did. I tried to recreate the bond with them, but there rude behaviour returned. His mother's insecurity is impacting me and my husband's relation so much, that he ignores my needs for her and does not see I'm in pain even if I tell him. I am filled with anger and frustration now and when I share it with my husband, he blames me for overthinking and verbally abuse me sometimes for destroying his life. I am going in depression due to this and unable to focus on my studies or any work. Due to this stress I don't feel like staying in that house and frequently visit my parents house, but my husband does not let me live in peace here also, he keeps verbally abusing and taunting me for staying at my parents so much and tells me he cannot come every second month there in a very rude abusive tone. I am fed-up of his dual attitude, one day he showers so much love, next day he gets so out of control. With rest of the world he is so sweet and shows he loves me so much, which has brought me in a bad light to think so bad of him. My problems are everyday little problems for them which I should bear. Currently I am 7 month pregnant and at my parents home. He beared my meds and doctor expenses there, but keeps on reminding me this that he has done this, he brought an almira for me after so many months of me begging him because they did not had any basic amenities arranged for me beforehand. My parents gave automatic washing machine, and few more new items during marriage but no gratitude for anything, instead they keep telling me they got almira for me, put khanewali for me as if they are not eating that food. I had cooked full 3 time meals and serving them on there bed, still they say 'kuch ni karti, kamre mei rehti hai. mumyji ke sath ni baithti, iske lie ye kardia, ghuma ke late hain' or meri kamiya ginate rete hain. They do not tell full truth, what me and my parents have done for them. My husband does not know proper English also and thinks himself no less than a king. His mother and sister enables his bad behaviour and laugh it off. I am worried for my future now as now a kid is involved. I had left my job again to go back as everyone told me to focus on mending relations first. He does not seem to care much for the baby also. When I tell him I have a headache, he tells me he has more headaches and responsibilities than me. Never really understood my feelings or cared genuinely. Mostly worried about money. All financial assets are in his mother's control so he has to bow down to her tantrums, and expects me to do that as well. She keeps showing him how sick she is, but goes to kitty parties and my husband takes her mostly everywhere with us on vacations. If me and my husband go even on a 2-day trip, my husband keeps video calling her because he knows her insecurity. She also keeps saying things like, 'tere bina pal pal katna bhari hora' like a couple talks. But if my SIL goes on 6 day trip with her husband, then she is very happy and tells them to enjoy. This gives me chills and spoils my mood everytime. My husband knows it yet he does not say or do anything about it. But I cannot continue like this, I feel suffocated and stuck many times, not knowing if I even belong here or not. My husband feels spending money on counselling is a waste so he will not take it now. Pls guide what should I do next. Can this relation be saved or not?

My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.