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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello sir/Madam I'm going through a rough time of my life and want some help from you I am a professional and 48 years old and I have 2 grown up children My problem is that I had a love marriage with my husband22 years back and his family didn't accept me whole heartidly since we belong to different castes and culture .they wanted to take advantage of me financially My husband has strained his relationship with my mom n only sister after my father's death in 2008 over money matters Me, my husband and children live in a house provided by my parents in a different city from my inlaws They always create differences between us still Now another problem has cropped up in our relationship I spied on my my husband's mobile n discovered tha that he has sex chats with other women and is involved in mastrubating sessions with them over phone I am completely broken from inside n not able to decide what to do coz when i confronted him , he flatly refused n fought with me and started putting false allegations on me .I am quite disturbed as i dont want to end my marriage eventhough he behaves very bad with me at times Kindly advice me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you know that you want this marriage still, then the best way to not be hurt and strained around him, is to:
Either:
- Ignore what's happening and what he's doing and he leads his life and you lead yours (This is not easy, let me warn you!)
OR
- Live separately; you are financially independent and have your home to live in; he can go live with his parents and see if this works

Sadly, you married someone who has not learned to appreciate his partner and is perhaps playing to his own insecurities. It's totally on him and why I say that you are not to blame is: the fact that you still want to continue in this marriage, you may have to face more of this humiliation and hurt. If this is your decision, you really need a very steely interior and a facade that can face it all.
Yes, counseling is an option for him and the two of you as couple, BUT I don't see that in him as yet...Instead of addressing his wife's hurt and pain, he has refused to acknowledge what he's been up to. It doesn't say a lot about him to me.
So, strengthen yourself into your decision and check the two choices above and see what works best for you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, 10+yrs of marriage with 9yr child. I am working and all financial burden is on me. I shifted separately from in-laws' house due to financial constraints and expectations. Though elder-in-law, my in-laws didn't try to stop our decision to move separately despite knowing that my hubby doesn't earn a single penny. They expected and I had to share financial expenses with my marginal income 10 years ago. After 5 years, we moved nearby and purchased our own house very little help from in-laws. I took loan and managed the rest with help from my family and friends. In between a lot happened. My father-in-law expired and my mother-in-law is a cancer patient. My mother-in-law started expecting from my hubby and me, probably because her younger son shifted with her family. She didn't want to live with them due to differences with her wife. She complained to my husband that we are not good enough to take care of her. I already had a lot of burden from office so I told my husband to take care of our child as well for sometime. He was quite depressed and frustrated with his inability to earn. Already lot of my hard-earned money has been put in his work n wasted.Now, the real problem during these difficult times began when we started fighting. I had lot of office stress and after mother in law complained, she shifted with her other son. At times, I got frustrated with my child also due to the whole mess, financial burden. I felt like all my hard earned money was wasted due to office stress and my hubby's irresponsible behaviour. He did not even take care of my child’s studies. He started watching porn... I saw him twice and even warned him. My husband started cheating on me with our maid. He did it when he was stressed because I was not able to give him time. I confronted him and since then it has been an emotional trauma. I am yet to accept it. 9 months have been passed. We decided on certain things but I couldn’t accept it.. Due to our emotional bond, I gave him another chance... During that time he accepted and was ready to leave everything and wanted me to be happy. He said he committed a big mistake but recently I found he called that b**ch later. When I confronted him he said he’d advised not to come home in front of his family members. I decided it would be best for him to move out and work from another place. My MIL was living with me but then I felt it too much at times.. now somewhat even my child has emotionally detached from him. It’s the same with him as we've been staying separately from 7 months. He visited 3 times during puja and other needs. I feel emotionally detached and I can’t digest the family situation.Sometimes I feel it's difficult to find the courage to avoid all and live alone. What's the point in living in a marriage for sake of it without having any emotional, physical, financial dependency or security?I am 39 and earn a decent salary at this moment. But I am not sure of my future as I work in a private firm. I am worried about my child’s education, old age, financial insecurity and burden. I haven’t been able to save much because of our financial liabilities and husband’s investments in businesses that never materialised.Before this incident, my husband supported me in my career and also to bring up our child. But what happened is too much and unexpected. Any suggestions?

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

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Relationship
I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.
Ans:

Dear XY,

And may I ask what exactly are you waiting for?

Why did you think that by you going for counselling, your husband will change his behaviour towards you?

How is that he cheats on you and still you allow him to treat you this way?

This only shows that you have lost your strength which you need most right now.

What if you were a strong independent woman who has been working?

Would you still subject yourself to this? You know the answer!

Bring back that woman who had dreams, who knew how to walk the path, who knew how a man should treat her, who knew what a marriage really is.

Can you do this?

Your kids need their mother to stand up for herself and do the right thing.

Be the woman who will not settle for anything that disrespects a woman or another human.

Seeing this, they will also know how to treat a woman and what a woman can bring into their lives.

Do the right thing, for yourself and them. Bring back that strong, independent woman who knew this and more.

Best wishes!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hello, I am from a good educated family in Dehradun. I got married 3 years back in an arranged marriage setup through a mediator in Meerut. My husband has a small sportswear factory above his home only and mostly he is at home. I have a widowed MIL and SIL who is married just a year before me. There were problems in my marriage from the very beginning but my parents and me were too naive to see the red flags. They had demanded 20lakh cash and also my parents had given them lot of gold silver items which my MIL has withheld and says I have taken everything and my husband also supports her everytime. He is a mumma's and sister's boy and lies to me all the time. He does not value my opinions and expects me to obey him and his mother. He verbally abuses too much which he did not disclose before marriage. I left my job before marriage as my parents were finding a match for me from past 2 years but were fed up so there desperation got me married here in Meerut. They mentioned there income as 20-25lakh in biodata but I still don't know the real income of my husband. He says he has taken loan from his mother and is in her debt and says all the time that his, his mother and his sister's bond is unbreakable, without me asking. From beginning I was not treated like a family member but they just instructed me what were my responsibilities of cooking and handling house and bowing down to her sister and brother-in-law. My husband never stood up for me in beginning. One night he became so abusive that he twisted my hand and verbaly abused my family so much. I in fear called my mother and they took me back. I filed a case against him and we stayed separately for around 1.3 years. That was a horrific time for me and my parents, going to courts and they never appearing once. I started online MBA and small job side by side to bear my expenses as my husband was not supporting financially at all. He was not ready to give back our money or jewellery and just saying he wanted to stay with me, but I did not wanted to go back to that house. His mother created too much drama in front of him and foul language was normal in that house. After a counselling session I arranged, which he was not ready to attend but I convinced him, we decided to give it another chance as he apologised to me and my parents. and I also thought about my future which would impact my family and younger sister as well. So his family came to our house to take me back and welcomed me nicely this time with bouquet and my husband decorated our room with balloons. 3-4 months it was all well, they behaved nicely, I ignored small things his mother said or did. I tried to recreate the bond with them, but there rude behaviour returned. His mother's insecurity is impacting me and my husband's relation so much, that he ignores my needs for her and does not see I'm in pain even if I tell him. I am filled with anger and frustration now and when I share it with my husband, he blames me for overthinking and verbally abuse me sometimes for destroying his life. I am going in depression due to this and unable to focus on my studies or any work. Due to this stress I don't feel like staying in that house and frequently visit my parents house, but my husband does not let me live in peace here also, he keeps verbally abusing and taunting me for staying at my parents so much and tells me he cannot come every second month there in a very rude abusive tone. I am fed-up of his dual attitude, one day he showers so much love, next day he gets so out of control. With rest of the world he is so sweet and shows he loves me so much, which has brought me in a bad light to think so bad of him. My problems are everyday little problems for them which I should bear. Currently I am 7 month pregnant and at my parents home. He beared my meds and doctor expenses there, but keeps on reminding me this that he has done this, he brought an almira for me after so many months of me begging him because they did not had any basic amenities arranged for me beforehand. My parents gave automatic washing machine, and few more new items during marriage but no gratitude for anything, instead they keep telling me they got almira for me, put khanewali for me as if they are not eating that food. I had cooked full 3 time meals and serving them on there bed, still they say 'kuch ni karti, kamre mei rehti hai. mumyji ke sath ni baithti, iske lie ye kardia, ghuma ke late hain' or meri kamiya ginate rete hain. They do not tell full truth, what me and my parents have done for them. My husband does not know proper English also and thinks himself no less than a king. His mother and sister enables his bad behaviour and laugh it off. I am worried for my future now as now a kid is involved. I had left my job again to go back as everyone told me to focus on mending relations first. He does not seem to care much for the baby also. When I tell him I have a headache, he tells me he has more headaches and responsibilities than me. Never really understood my feelings or cared genuinely. Mostly worried about money. All financial assets are in his mother's control so he has to bow down to her tantrums, and expects me to do that as well. She keeps showing him how sick she is, but goes to kitty parties and my husband takes her mostly everywhere with us on vacations. If me and my husband go even on a 2-day trip, my husband keeps video calling her because he knows her insecurity. She also keeps saying things like, 'tere bina pal pal katna bhari hora' like a couple talks. But if my SIL goes on 6 day trip with her husband, then she is very happy and tells them to enjoy. This gives me chills and spoils my mood everytime. My husband knows it yet he does not say or do anything about it. But I cannot continue like this, I feel suffocated and stuck many times, not knowing if I even belong here or not. My husband feels spending money on counselling is a waste so he will not take it now. Pls guide what should I do next. Can this relation be saved or not?
Ans: Since your husband is unwilling to attend counseling, consider seeking therapy for yourself. A therapist can help you process your emotions, build resilience, and identify what you need to feel secure and valued. Your emotional well-being is crucial not just for you but also for your baby, as stress during pregnancy can have long-term effects.

Open communication is essential, but it seems your husband is dismissive of your concerns. Try one last time to have an honest conversation with him. Clearly express your feelings and the changes you need to see for the relationship to work. Focus on specific actions, like setting boundaries with his mother, reducing verbal abuse, and showing emotional and financial responsibility.

If these conversations don’t lead to meaningful change, you may need to consider the long-term implications of staying in this environment. Living in a toxic household can have a profound impact on you and your child. If leaving feels like the safest option for your mental and physical well-being, work with your family to plan a way forward. This could involve legal steps to secure your rights and ensure support for your child.

Your efforts to mend the relationship show your commitment, but it’s vital to remember that a healthy marriage requires mutual respect and effort. If your husband and his family are unwilling to meet you halfway, prioritizing your own peace and stability might be the best decision for you and your baby.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8250 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
I am getting cse core at iter soa at 18-19 lakh tution fees+ donation and hit haldia at 15-16 lakh tution fees+ donation and techno main salt lake at 15-16 lakh as same T+D and iem Kolkata 15-16 lakh Tution fees+ donation all of them I am getting cse core branch please help me which should I choose
Ans: All four institutes hold AICTE approval and maintain robust academic credentials, with ITER–SOA (ABET- and NBA-accredited) delivering a rigorous curriculum under PhD-faculty, 47 specialized computing labs, 104 corporate MoUs, and a 91% placement consistency for CSE graduates. HIT Haldia’s CSE program benefits from NAAC A-accreditation, modern software and networking labs, mandatory industry internships via NIRF-recognized partnerships and a 91% median placement rate with 208 CSE students placed in 2023. Techno Main Salt Lake offers NBA-aligned CSE courses in AI/ML and cloud computing labs, active industry collaborations and achieved a 90.07% CSE placement rate in 2023. IEM Kolkata’s CSE core branch, approved by NBA and NAAC A, features AI/ML and cybersecurity labs, extensive training and recorded around 90% placement consistency with a median package of ?6 LPA in 2024. Each institute provides dedicated placement cells, structured internships, continuous industry engagement, and modern infrastructure to support comprehensive technical education and employability.

For top-tier global accreditation, metropolitan recruiter engagement, and a proven 91% CSE placement record, the recommendation is ITER–SOA CSE. If rural fees justify strong core-IT placements, choose HIT Haldia CSE. For balanced lab exposure with slightly lower yet solid placements, opt for Techno Main Salt Lake CSE. For cost-effective training with consistent median packages, select IEM Kolkata CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9466 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi
Money
Please i need some serious help regarding my mutual fund investment. As of now i have icici prudential infrastructure direct growth fund with 5k sip and tata digital india fund direct growth with 13.5k sip.. so far i have invested like 6.84 lakhs with a total return of 2 lakhs (as of today).. Also there is step up of 1k every 6 months. Here i have no any guide of choosing for funds and have a best growth as well as safe growth.. please help me..
Ans: Starting SIPs without guidance is still a brave step. You chose to act. That’s valuable.

You’ve already invested Rs.6.84 lakhs. You have Rs.2 lakhs gain. That’s positive. But your fund choices and strategy now need refining. We’ll assess everything carefully and improve your plan.

This answer will cover your entire portfolio. You will get a full 360-degree solution.

A Quick Look at Your Current Fund Selection

You’re investing in:

An infrastructure-focused fund.

A digital technology-focused fund.

These two funds are sector funds. Sector funds are concentrated. That means:

They focus only on one part of the economy.

They don’t diversify across sectors.

They may perform very well in short bursts.

But they also fall hard during sector downturns.

You are exposed to only two specific sectors. This brings high risk. Also, both are direct plans. Let’s discuss why that matters.

Why Direct Plans May Not Be Ideal

Direct funds look cheaper. But they miss professional support. Here are key issues:

No help in selecting best-fit funds for your goals.

No guidance during market ups and downs.

No periodic review or correction in portfolio.

No help with taxation or rebalancing.

No behavioural support during fear or greed phases.

You are left alone. That can lead to wrong decisions.

Switch to regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner. Benefits include:

Proper risk profiling.

Personalised fund choices.

Ongoing monitoring.

Emotion management in volatile times.

Long-term peace of mind.

The extra cost pays for strong support. And it often leads to better returns.

What’s Missing in Your Portfolio Today

Let’s now assess what is missing:

No large cap or flexicap exposure.

No actively managed diversified equity fund.

No debt exposure for stability.

No hybrid or multi-asset mix.

No proper asset allocation.

Entire investment depends on two sectors.

No financial goal planning.

This is risky for any investor. Even with good returns now, this may not last.

Why Sector Funds Must Be Handled With Caution

Sector funds can deliver in specific market cycles. But they are not meant for core portfolio. They are for advanced investors only.

Issues with sector funds:

Limited to one sector’s growth.

Risky if that sector underperforms.

Very volatile and cyclical in nature.

Need close monitoring and timely exit.

Requires strong knowledge of that sector.

Currently, your SIP in tech and infra sectors is too high. This is not safe for steady wealth building.

The Safer and Better Alternative – Diversified Equity Funds

Instead of sector funds, you need active diversified funds. These offer:

Broad exposure across sectors.

Lower volatility compared to sector funds.

Regular adjustment by fund managers.

Professional stock selection.

Focus on long-term business quality.

You need to build your portfolio on this solid foundation. These funds are ideal for core portfolio.

How to Rebuild Your Portfolio

Now let’s rebuild your investments for strong and safe growth:

Stop fresh SIPs in sector funds gradually.

Redeem old sector fund investments step by step.

Start SIPs in diversified active equity funds.

Choose regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner.

Mix large cap, flexicap, and multicap categories.

Add debt or hybrid funds for balance.

This way, you reduce risk and improve consistency.

Add Debt Funds for Stability

Right now, your portfolio is fully in equity. This brings high short-term risk. You need some debt allocation.

Debt funds offer:

Protection during equity market fall.

Liquidity for emergency or short-term needs.

Lower return, but also lower stress.

Predictable performance.

You can start with low-risk short-term debt funds. You may also add hybrid or dynamic funds for smoother ride.

Multi-Asset Funds Can Be Helpful

Multi asset or dynamic allocation funds invest across:

Equity

Debt

Gold

They shift between these based on market conditions. This reduces ups and downs. It suits investors with moderate risk appetite.

Such funds simplify portfolio management. You don’t have to worry about timing market moves.

Set Clear Goals for Your Money

Right now, there’s no defined goal. That’s okay. But planning will improve direction.

You may think about:

Retirement in future.

Buying a house.

Family’s future security.

Travel or business plans.

Children’s education or marriage.

With clear goals, you can:

Allocate money better.

Choose suitable funds.

Track progress more meaningfully.

Without goals, your efforts may feel directionless.

Why Asset Allocation Is Your Real Friend

Returns don’t depend only on fund choice. They depend more on asset mix.

An ideal mix helps you:

Manage market swings.

Sleep better during downturns.

Stay invested longer.

Reach goals peacefully.

Without asset allocation, returns become uneven. Risk becomes harder to manage.

Avoid These Common Mistakes

Many new investors do the following:

Pick top-performing fund randomly.

Keep investing in same fund forever.

Don’t track fund performance.

Don’t check if fund matches their risk.

Keep investing without a plan.

Use direct plans without any review.

Avoid these errors. They cost more than they appear.

How Much Should You Allocate to Equity and Debt?

You may consider this broad allocation based on moderate risk:

Equity: 60%

Debt: 30%

Gold or others: 10%

This keeps the portfolio healthy. You reduce pain in volatile times.

As your goal becomes closer, shift more towards debt. This protects gains.

Review Portfolio Every Year

Markets keep changing. So should your portfolio.

Every year:

Review your fund performance.

Check if funds are beating benchmarks.

Exit consistent underperformers.

Rebalance asset allocation.

A Certified Financial Planner will help in this. You don’t need to do it alone.

What About Tax on Your Investments?

New tax rules on mutual funds apply now.

For equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

For debt mutual funds:

Both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your slab.

So plan redemption carefully. Keep tax efficiency in mind.

Emergency Fund is Non-Negotiable

Keep some money aside in a liquid fund. Use it only in emergency.

This way:

You don’t touch your long-term funds.

You get peace of mind in tough times.

Build at least 3 to 6 months of expenses here.

Protect Yourself with Right Insurance

Don’t mix investment with insurance.

If you have ULIP or LIC policies with poor returns:

Evaluate their performance.

Consider surrendering if returns are low.

Reinvest that in mutual funds.

Use pure term plan for life insurance. It gives better protection.

Emotional Discipline Is the Real Key

Even the best portfolio fails if you panic. Or if you become greedy.

Follow these rules:

Stay invested long term.

Don’t react to short-term news.

Review once a year only.

Trust your plan, not market rumours.

If you stay disciplined, wealth will grow.

Finally

You have already started your SIPs. That’s the hardest part. Appreciate that.

But sector fund-only strategy is risky. It needs change.

Avoid direct plans. Choose regular funds with Certified Financial Planner.

Add diversified actively managed equity funds.

Build proper asset allocation between equity and debt.

Use dynamic or multi asset funds for smooth growth.

Set long-term goals gradually.

Keep some money in liquid fund for emergencies.

Get term insurance separately.

Avoid mixing insurance and investments.

Stay invested with patience and review annually.

A well-guided portfolio gives both growth and peace. And you are just one step away from that.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9466 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I want to know where to invest 2 lacs to get monthly amounts and what are ETF and what are bonds
Ans: You have Rs. 2 lakhs to invest and want regular monthly income. You also want to understand ETFs and Bonds. Let’s create a complete 360-degree investment answer.

Every sentence is short and simple. This response is structured for Indian context.

Know Your Goal First
You want income from Rs. 2 lakhs investment.

This means your goal is income generation.

This is different from wealth creation.

When we invest for income, capital appreciation is secondary.

You must also keep your money safe.

And make sure money is available monthly.

Don’t invest everything in risky instruments.

Protecting money is more important in this case.

First step is capital protection.

Second is monthly income.

Where Can You Get Monthly Income
You have multiple options for this goal:

1. Monthly Income Scheme from Post Office
This is one of the safest options.

You can invest in joint or single mode.

Interest is fixed and paid monthly.

Capital is returned at the end of term.

No TDS is deducted.

But interest is taxable as per your slab.

Good for senior citizens and low-risk investors.

But returns may not beat inflation.

Ideal only for short-term income needs.

You can invest Rs. 2 lakhs here.

Get fixed amount monthly with peace of mind.

2. Senior Citizen Saving Scheme (if eligible)
Only for people above 60 years.

Pays high fixed return every quarter.

Has a five-year lock-in period.

Interest is taxable.

Safe and government backed.

Not for you if under 60 years.

But your parents can use this option.

Ideal to secure their post-retirement income.

3. Debt Mutual Funds with SWP
Debt funds invest in government and corporate bonds.

Safer than equity but not risk-free.

You can start SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).

SWP gives fixed amount monthly from your investment.

Capital stays invested and continues to earn.

Better post-tax return than FD in long term.

Short Term Capital Gain taxed at 20%.

Long Term Gain taxed as per slab.

Use only high-quality debt funds through a CFP.

Don’t go for direct debt funds.

They don’t provide handholding and advice.

Regular plan through certified planner gives support.

CFP monitors interest rate changes and portfolio health.

Avoid putting all Rs. 2 lakhs in debt fund.

Keep part in liquid fund as emergency backup.

4. Hybrid Mutual Funds with SWP
Mix of debt and equity.

Safer than pure equity, better than pure debt.

Monthly SWP can give income and growth.

Ideal if you want 5-7% annual income.

But fund selection is key.

Choose only regular plan through CFP.

Don’t use index or direct mutual funds.

Index funds just copy market blindly.

They don’t offer protection in market fall.

Active hybrid funds have risk control.

CFP reviews it yearly and rebalances.

This ensures stable income and capital protection.

What Are Bonds?
Bonds are like loans you give to companies or government.

They promise to pay fixed interest.

After fixed time, they return the principal.

Government bonds are safest.

Corporate bonds carry higher risk.

You can buy bonds through mutual funds.

Direct bond investment needs large capital and timing.

Better to invest through debt mutual fund.

It gives diversification and expert management.

You don’t need to track bond market yourself.

Debt fund handles risk and duration.

You also get liquidity in emergency.

What Are ETFs?
ETFs are Exchange Traded Funds.

They copy a stock market index like Nifty or Sensex.

They are like mutual funds, but traded like shares.

Most ETFs are passive in nature.

They don’t try to beat the market.

They just copy the market performance.

When the market goes up, ETF goes up.

When market falls, ETF falls equally.

No risk management by fund manager.

ETF can underperform in sideways or down markets.

No help or review comes with ETF.

You must handle rebalancing on your own.

Many investors buy high and sell low.

So, ETFs don’t suit most Indian investors.

Avoid ETF if you want peace of mind.

Don’t use ETF for income purpose.

They are for growth, not monthly income.

Also, there is no fixed monthly payout from ETF.

Mistakes to Avoid
Don’t invest all Rs. 2 lakhs in one place.

Don’t fall for high return schemes.

Don’t trust unsolicited online advisors.

Avoid peer-to-peer lending or private chit funds.

Don’t put money in index or direct mutual funds.

Don’t chase trends like crypto or F&O.

Don’t mix insurance and investment.

Don’t buy ULIPs or endowment for monthly income.

They lock money and give poor return.

Avoid buying stock or bonds directly without help.

Don’t use direct plan of mutual funds.

They give zero guidance and no review.

Regular plan via CFP is far better.

It gives professional support and protection.

Your goal is income, not thrill.

Stick with low-risk, reviewed options.

Ideal Action Plan with Rs. 2 Lakhs
Put Rs. 1 lakh in Monthly Income Scheme.

It will give fixed amount monthly.

Very low risk and safe.

Put Rs. 50,000 in Liquid or Ultra Short Debt Fund.

Use SWP for monthly withdrawal of Rs. 400 to Rs. 500.

Keep Rs. 50,000 in hybrid mutual fund.

Start SWP after 1 year holding.

This gives equity growth and regular income.

Use regular plan only with CFP supervision.

Don’t try to manage it yourself.

Plan will give stable monthly income with growth.

Rebalance every 12 months with CFP help.

Important Reminders for Monthly Income
Don’t aim for very high monthly income.

Higher income need means higher risk.

Keep realistic expectations, around 6-8% yearly.

Withdraw only interest, not capital.

Emergency fund must be kept separately.

Your principal must stay untouched for 3+ years.

Reinvest yearly bonus or extra income.

Grow your capital slowly to Rs. 5 lakhs.

Then your monthly income also increases.

Keep expenses low and track savings.

Small consistent steps bring big change.

Finally
You want to earn monthly income from Rs. 2 lakhs.

Avoid ETF and direct investments.

Don’t go for index funds or direct mutual funds.

Regular mutual funds via CFP are better.

Use a mix of MIS, SWP and debt fund.

Review portfolio every 12 months.

Don’t withdraw full amount early.

Keep your investment safe, simple, and secure.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9466 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I have a 10 year old daughter. What are schemes and plans in which I could invest for my daughter's future education.
Ans: Time Horizon Left Before Her Higher Studies
Your daughter is 10 years old now.

You have around 7 to 8 years left.

After that, expenses will shoot up fast.

Engineering, Medical, or Abroad – all need large funds.

So you have limited time to grow money.

Delaying planning further can harm your goal.

Start structured investments from this month itself.

Why Fixed Plans Will Not Work Alone
Many parents invest in only fixed plans.

These include Sukanya, PPF, RD, and LIC.

These are very safe but give low growth.

Returns are often below education inflation.

Education cost doubles every 7 to 8 years.

A fixed deposit gives 6-7% returns.

College fees are rising by 10-12% yearly.

So mismatch will happen if only fixed returns.

Use fixed products for stability, not for growth.

A Good Plan Must Have Three Investment Buckets
Let’s divide your plan into 3 parts:

1. Safety Bucket (Stability and Discipline)
Use government schemes for basic security.

PPF is a good long-term fixed interest option.

Start yearly contributions till she turns 21.

Avoid direct FD as it has lower post-tax returns.

Use recurring deposit only for short term goals.

These give discipline but won’t grow wealth much.

This bucket is for emergencies or short-term goals.

2. Growth Bucket (Actual Wealth Creation)
This is the most important investment area.

Use mutual funds with SIP to build large corpus.

Choose active funds only, not index funds.

Index funds blindly copy market and carry risk.

They don’t protect downside during bad years.

Active funds managed by experts offer better safety.

Regular plan via MFD and CFP gives advisory support.

Don’t invest in direct plans without expert guidance.

Direct plans seem cheap but lack review support.

Many investors lose track without MFD follow-up.

Through regular plan, CFP reviews fund performance yearly.

So you keep on right track without risk.

Do monthly SIP in diversified equity funds.

Increase SIP amount every year with salary hike.

Also invest lump sum in balanced or multi-cap funds.

This will reduce market timing risk.

Keep gold fund allocation low, not more than 5%.

3. Insurance Bucket (Protection of Goal)
Take pure term insurance immediately if not done.

Amount should be minimum 15-20 times your income.

Never mix investment with insurance.

Avoid child ULIP or endowment plans.

They give poor returns and high charges.

They lock money but give low growth.

Cancel them if already taken and shift to mutual funds.

Always keep family secure in your absence.

Buy critical illness and accident rider separately.

Also take health insurance for entire family.

Don’t depend only on employer coverage.

Education goal must survive even if income stops.

Suggested Action Plan from This Month
Start SIP in actively managed diversified equity fund.

Begin with Rs. 5000 per month minimum.

Increase every year with salary increment.

Avoid index funds and ETFs completely.

They underperform in volatile or sideways markets.

Also avoid direct mutual fund plans.

Use regular plans via CFP and MFD.

They give proper rebalancing and goal tracking.

Add Rs. 1.5 lakh every year in PPF.

Maintain this till daughter turns 21 years.

Review PPF maturity matching her marriage or postgrad need.

Keep at least Rs. 2 lakhs in emergency fund.

Keep this in liquid or overnight fund.

Top up term cover every 5 years.

Don’t depend on gold ETF or e-gold too much.

These don’t beat inflation regularly.

Use them as minor hedge, max 5%.

If You Already Have Sukanya Samriddhi Account
Continue Sukanya Samriddhi till maturity.

It gives fixed return with EEE benefit.

But remember, withdrawal is allowed only for education.

You can’t use it flexibly like mutual funds.

So don’t depend fully on Sukanya Samriddhi.

Use mutual fund SIP as primary wealth engine.

Sukanya is only a secondary support plan.

Tax Efficiency and Liquidity Are Key
All your plans must offer tax benefits.

PPF, NPS, ELSS give tax benefits under Section 80C.

Use debt funds for short term goals with tax planning.

Don’t keep more than 1 year’s fee in FD.

Equity SIP held for long-term is tax efficient.

Only profits above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

LTCG tax on equity is only 12.5% now.

Debt mutual funds taxed as per income slab.

Plan mix accordingly for better post-tax returns.

Avoid These Common Mistakes
Don’t buy child ULIP from insurance company.

These eat up charges and give poor returns.

Don’t mix emotions with investment plans.

Don’t invest in direct equity stocks yourself.

It needs expertise and continuous monitoring.

Don’t rely only on PPF or Sukanya for goal.

Don’t chase returns, focus on consistent planning.

Don’t delay SIP waiting for better market level.

Don’t stop SIP during market correction.

That’s when wealth is actually created.

Monitor and Review Every 12 Months
Once your plan is running, don’t ignore it.

Review SIP performance and goals once every year.

Shift from equity to hybrid when goal is 2-3 years away.

This will protect from last-minute market fall.

Rebalance fund allocation with help of CFP.

Also review term cover and medical cover yearly.

Make sure nominee details are updated.

Keep spouse informed about all investments.

Maintain written record of plan in one file.

Don’t rely only on memory or emails.

What Happens If You Start Late?
If you delay, you need to invest double.

You’ll lose power of compounding.

A Rs. 5000 SIP started now grows large.

Same SIP started 3 years later grows small.

The longer you wait, the harder it gets.

Starting early reduces burden on your salary.

You need to save less if you start early.

But you’ll need to save more if late.

So time is more important than money.

Start with small, but stay consistent for years.

Final Insights
You have 8-10 years left for daughter’s education.

Use active equity funds for real growth.

Don’t depend only on PPF or Sukanya.

Avoid ULIPs and direct plans without support.

Build protection with term and health cover.

Make a proper goal-based investment strategy.

Keep your investments flexible and tax-efficient.

Track yearly and correct as per situation.

With right actions, you will reach your goal confidently.

Don’t postpone action. Start building her future today.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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