Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello, I am Afrin . I met this guy 3 years back through a dating app . We used to talk on weekends initially for few months . Then I started falling for him and I told him about it and that i would only like to continue if there is a future as we we can get married, he said he is Hindu and I am Muslim so it won't be possible for him so I strictly asked him not to contact me again as we want different things , after that we didn't talk for 4 months , and 4 months he called me again . I picked up , talked for two three weeks only on weekends and the same question i again asked he again said it won't be possible and I again told him not to contact me and he again stopped calling or texting me . After 6 months of this ,he again called ,I picked up. This time he said , he is moving to foreign country so it might be possible for him to marry . I believed , we kept talking now 3,4 days a week . We both were happy ,and enjoyed talking to each other , then finally after 2 years , he came to meet me from a different state . We met, i brought some of my friends with me . We spent 5 days , bt after 3 days ,I saw him behaving rudely .. I tried talking to him and I got to know that , since I was talking to my friends in our language , he misunderstood us thinking we were may be making fun of them . On 4th day , when my friends left , I went to his room and saw him using dating app .. I asked him to show me his phone he didnt show me and we had a heated argument. And he left me alone in that room , and the next day he had his flight .. i saw, he blocked me the day he left me in that room . I tried contacting him for the first in this two years but he blocked me every where . So , this way for 6 months I was blocked , after him unblocking me ,he neither called me not texted me , and I also didn't try to contact him . After after 1 year of him leaving me in that room, he called few days back , I picked up , and the way he was talking i dint like it as I could sense he was expecting the things from me which are against my values . And by now ,I lost feelings for him . So the first day I could say anything, the next day i told him clearly that i don't have feelings for him anymore , so if he is expecting something else from me he won't get it . If he wants to remain as friends he can ,rest I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore . And after two days he again blocked me . What should I do if he again calls me ? Should I just block him now ? Or should I talk to him normally?

Ans: Don't pick up. Move on. Don't talk to him. Start meeting other guys

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
I talked with a boy from November for marriage his parents came to my home then we started talking with each other every thing was going well we shared our thoughts values...then each passing day I get attracted towards him one day after 1 and a half month I found his changes in behaviour then I asked him he told he was same then one day he told me he is getting bored as I always talk about relationship he don't get anything friendly from mee..i asked him what is romance to him he told me philosophical thoughts discuss I was confused then ..days are passing then he send me some links of America's and has a debate ..with me always ..one day there was a misunderstanding and i told him what did he want he told me he don't get any friendly things from me and it will not work after 4 months i got very disturbed ...why did he do this to me he knows from the 1st how type of girl am I then why did he carried it 4 months. .after I got attracted towards him...it was very disturbed for me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that this happened to you, but think about it this way- this happened now, but this could have happened after getting married. I know that it shouldn't have happened to begin with, but since it has already, it's better to look at it from a positive perspective. Why it happened is difficult to say. It is possible that he didn't really know the real you and was expecting you to be someone you are not. And once he realized the truth, he thought ending it now would be better for both of you. I am not sure why he did what he did, but I can tell you that there is no point in thinking about the "why" of the matter. Focus on moving on. I know you were getting attached but it's time to look forward and build a better future. Take some time off this matchmaking thing, and focus on yourself. And once you think you are ready, get back to it with a fresh and positive mind. I want you to understand that not everyone would turn out to be like him.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I'm 31yrs old lady from India, my parents are searching for marriage proposals for me since 4yrs, but due to numerous reasons like different career or dowry or my appearance, none were successful. And I din invest my time in knowing about the past proposals personally. However, recently my parents came to me with a proposal- guy settled abroad and told me he will talk to me. Before I tell yes I researched about how I can relocate to the place where he is by contacting the different institutions from his place as our both career fields were totally different I knew he won't be on much help if I have to get job aftr marriage at his place in abroad. In the meantime, he had texted me, whenever he texts it will be on weekends..and first time when he texted I had replied 2hrs late bcz of our different time frame in our locations. But after i replied his message came aftr few hours telling he is not well so he will call later. So his next text was a week later on weekend. That day since I was busy for half a day, we spoke aftr my work. The call lasted for 30min with basic Convo about our job, hobbies, culture at his place etc. and the call ended with him telling we shall talk again and he ll inform his parents abt our talk. It was voice call, we saw each other only in photos. So I waited again for a week for his call or text but I was told by my dad that his dad informed that they won't proceed further. Now, here I am invested my talk and thoughts for nearly 3-4weeks and thinking abt my future with him, in addition I liked the guy because of his politeness and understanding nature and was hoping for this proposal to work. Now, even aftr a month of this rejection, I am still hoping for a miracle to happen and he comes back to my life. I am hoping he can try to understand me better before telling no. I want to know the reason for his rejection too. I have the urge to reach out to him, text him and ask his reasons and to ask if there is any chance to change it to yes. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1849 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am ready to stand against my parents for the boy I love, but he isn’t willing to stand up to his family. We are both Hindus but our customs, language and rituals are very different from each other. Since the time we started dating, I have tried to give up on my choices for the sake of our happiness. He proposed to me last year after dating for 12 years. I said yes. Now he wants me to convince his parents. He is 29, the eldest son of the family but he feels his parents will not agree for our marriage. His entire family is against us. His mother won't even look at me, forget sit down and talk. I told him we'll have a court marriage and live separate but he wants me to convince his family. If he doesn't take responsibility now, how can I expect him to stand up for me in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you serious? He happily got into a relationship with you BUT now wants to hide when it's time to talk to his parents.
He's 29 and as a mature adult you must learn to understand that until marriage it's his responsibility to not just talk to his parents but also find a way to make you and his parents meet.
Instead, he chooses to hide or he's scared? Do push him gently into his responsibilities and if you catch him delaying talking to his parents, then understand that he has a personality that avoids conflicts especially with his parents. Do imagine what it can be for you once you are married into that house.
Have an honest chat with him; love is not always roses and candles...straight and honest talk is always better before taking that big step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |524 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Money
sir, I am 28 year old Engineer working in IT field for 6 years. Recently married and my wife is also working in a IT Company. I have started investment in MF since my first salary and at present total the corpus is 15 L and my present SIP amount is 60K. In addition I am having 6L in PPF, 8L in Bank FD, 15L PLI and 5L Health Policy. My parents are well settled. My portfolio is as given below. 1. ICICI Prud. NASDAQ - 3K 2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 10K 3. Quant ELSS - 7K 4. HDFC Retirement Saving - 10K 5. Kotak Mid Cap - 6K 6. SBI Focused Equity - 8K 7. Bandhan Small Cap - 8K 8. Nippon India Multi Asset - 8K My investment time horizon is 20+ years. Please review and suggest changes required if any. With Thanks & Regards, S. Salvankar
Ans: Hi Sarvothama,

You are doing great with your iverall investments at such age. Early investment really helps you in the long run. Let us analyse everything in detail:
1. Make sure to have ample emrgency fund in FD or liquid funds.
2. You should have proper term insurance and health insurance for yourself and family. As your spouse is working, she should also have an independent term insurance.
3. 8 lakhs in FD - can be treated as your emergency fund.
4. 6 lakhs in PPF - not recommended as a=you must have your EPF being an IT Professional. PPF is just like EPF, hence make minimum contributions to keep the account active and close it when 15 years tenure is over.
5. Health policy - 5 lakhs >> insufficient keeping in mind rising medical costs. Increase it to a minimum of 25 lakhs family floater for yourself and spouse.
6. 15 lakhs PLI - continue.
7. 15 lakhs + 60k monthly SIP in mutual funds. Very good and you should continue. However, the funds chosen are not exactly great. Entire allocation needs a proper plan in alignment to your profile and long term goal. It is better to work with a professional to choose better funds for your 20+ years goal.
I will not recommend continuing your SIPs in - Quant ELSS, HDFC Retirement Savings, Nippon multi asset and Focused Equity fund.

Hence overall reallocation and distribution in required here.
Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |524 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Money
Sir, I am a 44 years old male and have made following investments in Mutual Funds, which are as follows, please let me know if it is good to go: DSP India T.I.G.E.R. (The Infrastructure Growth and Economic Reforms Fund) Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,500) Axis Silver FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) LIC MF Gold ETF FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 500) SBI PSU Direct Plan Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 7,000) Aditya Birla Sun Life PSU Equity Fund Direct Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 6,000) I urge you to review my above portfolio as a whole and thereafter appropriately guide me whether I need to switch any of the above SIPs or stay invested as it is, particularly I am more worried about ‘Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth’ (keeping in consideration that my SIP becomes more than 1.5 years old with this Fund), it has generated negative returns more often, which now becomes my cause of concern, as a result sometimes I felt that I had invested in a wrong fund. My intent for the above investment is to create sufficient wealth, till the time of my retirement. Now, I seek your valuable guidance over the above, enabling me to reach to a decision. Thanks & regards, Ashish
Ans: Hi Ashish,

You have long 16 years till your retirement and proper guided investment can do wonders with your monthly SIPs.
Your concern regarding Nippon Small Cap fund is genuine but this is exactly how markets work. One cannot expect their money to double in an overnight. It needs patience and proper plan to generate even bare minimum of 12% annual return.

I see all the funds you invest in are direct funds. while direct funds are more preferred as they have lower expense ratio of about 0.5%, regular funds are better as they come with proper plan and guidance throughout.
Generating 2-4% returns in these types of direct funds v/s getting 12% return in regular funds - there is always an option.

However, continue with Nippon small cap, Parag Parikh Flexicap, and Motilal Oswal Midcap fund. Stop SIPs in other funds and work with a proper advisor to redirect these funds into better new funds.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x