Dear Love Guru, 
I like a boy in my class. I am not sure if he likes me as well. But when I smile, he smiles back. At times he comes over and has his lunch with my friends and me. I want to take this ahead but I am not sure what to do? Should I directly speak with him? Or should I wait for him to speak with me? I am scared that he will lose interest in me.

Ans:

It’s just a college crush, my dear…nothing to get so uptight about. It’s normal at your age.

You can tell your friends you don’t want him to know, but so what if he does? Maybe he likes you too or will ask you out?

There’s really no set course to follow in these matters. Just enjoy your college days and years!

 

Dear Love Guru
This is not exactly a love problem but kind of related.
My ex and my good friend are engaged and it’s left me feeling very awkward.
It’s uncomfortable to see her with him.
I don’t want to give up the group or them because we are all very good friends.
Everyone’s struggling to adapt to the new dynamics and I’m feeling bad.
How do I handle this?

The way you’re feeling is perfectly natural and this situation is more common than you think.

I know of someone who has been in the exact same position as you and he was the bigger person back then.

Today, things are so normal between him and the couple; they’re still good friends and laugh about what was a few years ago.

My point is, what you want to achieve -- a new normal -- is very possible.

Since you’re all within the same group, I’d suggest riding things out. You make an effort to normalise things and they will do the same. The new dynamic will become the norm in time, you’ll see.

Let time take away your discomfort. It will.

 

Ans: Dear Juris,
Be YOU but if being YOU is being rigid and not allowing you to socialize the way that leads to making bigger connections, then do something about it:)
Hobby classes, meet up groups for like minded individuals, gyms, writing clubs...are great places to meet new people and socialize. Initially you can piggy back with your friends till you slowly become your own chaperone.
So, go out there and while still being YOU, also know that's there's so much to life and the joy that people can bring into your life as much as you can in their lives:) Explore slowly but surely...
As for this guy, he's young and playing the social media scene his way at his level of maturity. Off and On connections, ghosting, constant texting...all these are part of these platforms...you will get used to it as unwanted as it may seem. You will learn to safeguard your sanity while you are on these platforms.

All the best!

Ans: Dear TRS,

I am glad to know you are finally thinking of talking to your crush. There is nothing to be worried about; be brave, go up to him, and introduce yourself. Don't start with, "Hey, I like you." Instead say something like, "I have seen you here a couple of times. Which year are you in?" Something that will get the conversation started without making it too obvious that you have a crush on him and yet leave some hint of that being a possibility. Just to be on the safer side, prepare some conversational topics in your mind.

If you feel awkward, understand that it is normal. It's a big step and the important part is that you are ready to take it. You can do a little digging on him and find something common between the two of you and talk about that. Once you notice him reciprocating the same interest in you, you can confess how you have been feeling. But my advice is to talk to him for a while, as a friend, evaluate the guy, and then tell him about your feelings. You have only known him from far away; what if you don't like his personality? Take the time to know him; if he's the right person for you, things will work themselves out.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Seems like you are not quite in love with this person. Not everyone experiences love at first sight. Some love stories grow over time. You can try spending some more time with him and see where it goes. But if you are not satisfied with how strongly you feel for him or if you continue to feel that you deserve better, I strongly recommend giving it a thought. You don't want to settle for less out of peer pressure. And it would not be right to drag him and give him hope, especially since he has feelings for you.

There is no need to rush. Take your time. Think about it with a clear mind and make a choice.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I recommend you do not assume his answer and wait for him to say it. It would not be fair to play the guessing game with something as serious and sensitive as marriage. Please have patience. I am sure he will speak his mind soon.

Best wishes.