This is the first time that i'm having a crush on a boy. He is in my college. For the past few years i am looking him, but never managed to talk to him, i want to talk to him and tell him about my feelings, please help me how do I start?

Ans:

It’s just a college crush, my dear…nothing to get so uptight about. It’s normal at your age.

You can tell your friends you don’t want him to know, but so what if he does? Maybe he likes you too or will ask you out?

There’s really no set course to follow in these matters. Just enjoy your college days and years!

 

Dear Love Guru
This is not exactly a love problem but kind of related.
My ex and my good friend are engaged and it’s left me feeling very awkward.
It’s uncomfortable to see her with him.
I don’t want to give up the group or them because we are all very good friends.
Everyone’s struggling to adapt to the new dynamics and I’m feeling bad.
How do I handle this?

The way you’re feeling is perfectly natural and this situation is more common than you think.

I know of someone who has been in the exact same position as you and he was the bigger person back then.

Today, things are so normal between him and the couple; they’re still good friends and laugh about what was a few years ago.

My point is, what you want to achieve -- a new normal -- is very possible.

Since you’re all within the same group, I’d suggest riding things out. You make an effort to normalise things and they will do the same. The new dynamic will become the norm in time, you’ll see.

Let time take away your discomfort. It will.

 

Ans:

The office situation would have been messy, but now you're leaving so that's great!

You've wasted a decade already, so I'd say it's high time you make your move.

Just ask him out for coffee and see where things go from there. Don't make any huge proclamations of love on a first date but read the signals...you'll know if he's interested or not.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Ans:

Why doubt yourself so much? He smiles at you, lunches with you...Maybe it's time to break the ice and at least start talking to him?

You'll see where the conversations lead and you'll soon know for sure whether he's genuinely interested or not.

And remember to be yourself. You don't have to overtly try and impress anyone, a person should like you for who you are.

 

Ans: Dear Debayati,

I am glad to hear you found someone worth putting in the effort. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to impressing anyone, here are some general and proven ways to realistically impress someone:


• Don't force your feelings on him; let him fall for you because he wants to, not because you stressed him into doing so. Any relationship built on such foundations has ever worked out.
• Let him see your wit; emotionally-mature men like intelligent women who are not scared to put forward their opinion and challenge set ideas. Please don't play dumb; it is not attractive. And if your man thinks it's cute, you better reconsider your feelings for him.
• Be yourself. Overdoing and altering anything, be it the way you dress or the way you talk or your behavior in general will not help with impressing him. Instead, he will see a version of you that is made up and might or might not fall for that version; but it isn't you, and he isn't falling for you. So it's better you be yourself and see where it goes.
• Indulge him in talks about his interests and passions. Men have some interests that are known to bore most women, for instance, cricket. Talk about that topic and let him believe he has hit the jackpot by finding a woman who's interested in his passions.
• Humor and wit go hand in hand. Crack occasional jokes. Men, not unlike women, love to have a good laugh.
• Some flirting is healthy; send flirty texts once in a while, for instance, "You look cute," etc. Whatever you are comfortable with; the idea is to be present even when you aren't physically there with him.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear a,
If you wish to let her know about how you feel, you need to muster courage to tell her.
You could start with a simple text in case you don't want to tell her in-person. (Hoping she isn't under the age of 18, since you have not mentioned her age or yours).
You could text her about what you like about her and tell her about yourself (since you don't know if she likes you as well).
And also be prepared to get a rejection in return as she might not feel the same as you do. It's a crush and it may or may not lead to anything huge, but you can only make an attempt.

All the best!