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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Apr 20, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru
Offline college has started and, in the very first week, I have really, really liked this boy.
I am not a frivolous kind of person and I never thought something like this would happen to me college.
We don’t know each other really, we are just classmates. It’s all very awkward for me and my friends can see I like him and they tease me. It will be worse if he comes to know.
I cannot discuss this with my family, I don’t want advice from my friends who are my age.
Can you tell me what I should do now?
Confused

Ans:

It’s just a college crush, my dear…nothing to get so uptight about. It’s normal at your age.

You can tell your friends you don’t want him to know, but so what if he does? Maybe he likes you too or will ask you out?

There’s really no set course to follow in these matters. Just enjoy your college days and years!

 

Dear Love Guru
This is not exactly a love problem but kind of related.
My ex and my good friend are engaged and it’s left me feeling very awkward.
It’s uncomfortable to see her with him.
I don’t want to give up the group or them because we are all very good friends.
Everyone’s struggling to adapt to the new dynamics and I’m feeling bad.
How do I handle this?

The way you’re feeling is perfectly natural and this situation is more common than you think.

I know of someone who has been in the exact same position as you and he was the bigger person back then.

Today, things are so normal between him and the couple; they’re still good friends and laugh about what was a few years ago.

My point is, what you want to achieve -- a new normal -- is very possible.

Since you’re all within the same group, I’d suggest riding things out. You make an effort to normalise things and they will do the same. The new dynamic will become the norm in time, you’ll see.

Let time take away your discomfort. It will.

 

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 Hi Anu ji, Please help me out the right way!!I am a single mother, working woman. One of my colleagues got to know about my marital status and slowly he started liking me, texting me. He was always caring and I felt comfortable and secure in his company. But he has a family. Despite that, he is in relationship with me, and always tries his best to keep me happy like a family guy.I tried to break up with him and move on thrice. Still he came back saying he cannot stay without me.Now my problem is I am worried how will we manage if the relationship is revealed. My parents will definitely not allow and neither will his family.I am very confused. Please helpI don't want to lose him but I don't want to hurt his family or be the reason for his family disputes.
Ans:

Dear A,

He is seeking attention, validation and care from you and you are also getting that in return from him.

Does this qualify to be in a relationship with a married man? You know the answer to it and the complications that will arise alongside.

You are confused because in your heart you know that something is amiss.

Listen to what your heart points out to and if you feel breaking up with him is the best thing like you did thrice, the next time stick with it.

Why retract? Maybe because you feel weak at that moment and give in.

Every time you give in, you are back to the same confusion. So, time to evaluate your thoughts and ask yourself: What will happen if I move on without him?

What life can I have an opportunity to create on my terms in complete clarity and away from this confusion?

Will this life that I create be better for me and my child in terms of being at peace?

What if I seek a relationship with someone who is in a similar space like I am in now?

Do this reality check and then do the right thing. You know you can do this, and you want to for a life that can be lived in clarity and harmony.

All the best to you!

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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My MF portfolio is worth Rs 2 crore as on March 31, 2024. I am 48 now. My plan is to get Rs 2 lakh per month by the time I retire in another 10-12 years. I am investing Rs 2 lakh per month. Is that enough for me to accumulate a corpus big enough to help me earn Rs 2 lakh per month?
Ans: Let's analyse your plan for a Rs 2 lakh monthly income after retirement:

Corpus Calculation:

To determine if your current strategy is sufficient, we need to calculate the total corpus you'll need. Here's a simplified approach (assuming a fixed monthly withdrawal):

• Expected Investment Period: 10 to 12 years (considering your retirement timeframe)
• Monthly Investment: Rs 2 lakh.
• Monthly Target Income: Rs 2 lakh.
• There are two unknowns: total investment period and corpus amount. We can't predict the exact number of years until retirement, so let's analyse both scenarios (10 and 12 years).

Scenario 1: 10 Years of Investment

For this scenario, we can use a financial calculator or spreadsheet to solve for the corpus needed. However, I can't directly provide financial product recommendations or perform calculations that require specific rates of return.

Scenario 2: 12 Years of Investment

Similar to scenario 1, you'll need to calculate the corpus considering a 12-year investment horizon.

Additional Considerations:

• Inflation: The purchasing power of your Rs 2 lakh monthly income will decrease over time due to inflation. You might need to increase your withdrawals gradually to maintain your standard of living.
• Investment Returns: The actual corpus will depend on the return you get on your investments. This can vary based on your chosen investment options.

Recommendations:

• Retirement Needs Assessment: Consider consulting a financial advisor to assess your retirement needs based on your lifestyle and future plans. They can help you with a more personalised calculation considering inflation and your risk tolerance.
• Investment Strategy: A financial advisor can also suggest an investment strategy to achieve your target corpus. This may involve a mix of equity and debt instruments to balance growth and stability.

Positive Aspects:

• You're taking a proactive approach to retirement planning by starting early and investing regularly.
• A Rs 2 crore corpus and a Rs 2 lakh monthly investment are good starting points.

Conclusion:

While it's difficult to say definitively without a detailed calculation, your plan has a good foundation for achieving your Rs 2 lakh monthly income target. Consulting a financial advisor can provide a more personalised assessment and help you fine-tune your strategy for a comfortable retirement.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2024Hindi
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Hello, Hope you're doing good! I am 32 yrs old and planning to invest till 60 yrs i.e till next 28 yrs. I am investing in below MFs and some other savings schemes, I need you suggestion on the same: MFs Investment: 1. ICICI Prudential Nifty Alpha Low Volatility 30 ETF FOF - 1,500/- PM 2. Tata Resource & Energy Fund - 2,000/- PM 3. ICICI Prudential Technology - 1,500/- 4. Nippon India Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 5. SBI Nifty Next 50 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 6. ICICI Prudential Nasdaq 100 Index Fund - 1,000/- PM 7. ICICI Prudential Nifty Bank Index Fund - 2,000/- PM Apart from this I am also investing in NPS around 17,500/- PM and PF around 30,500 including both. Also investing 5,000/- in Max Life Online Savings Plan (10 yrs investing period and 15 Yrs total Policy period). My goal is to be accumulate wealth for my retirement. Thank you in advance for your help.
Ans: Your investment approach reflects a thoughtful strategy aimed at building long-term wealth for your retirement. Diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes, including equity mutual funds, index funds, and savings schemes like NPS and PF, is a wise move.

Maintaining a disciplined investment habit and staying committed to your financial goals over the next 28 years will be crucial. Regularly reviewing your portfolio's performance and adjusting it as needed to stay aligned with your objectives is essential.

Remember, the journey to retirement wealth accumulation is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay patient, stay focused, and trust in the power of compounding to grow your investments steadily over time.

By diligently contributing to your investment portfolio and making informed decisions, you're laying a solid foundation for a financially secure and fulfilling retirement. Keep up the good work, and your future self will thank you for it.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi i am 49 and currently have a total corpus of approx 2.5 crs ( 1cr in MF/50 lacs in stocks/ another 80-90 lacs in PF/ EPF/ NPS and some other instruments.i am planning to retire in 13 years i.e at 62 . i will be able to accumulate another 5 cr approx more till then and with the current portfolio and interests of those looking at 10 cr of corpus then . will it be sufficient for my 15- 17 years of life after that looking at 3-4 lakhs montly expenses then
Ans: With a planned retirement in 13 years and an estimated total corpus of around 7.5 crores, your goal of achieving a corpus of 10 crores by retirement seems achievable. However, it's essential to conduct a detailed analysis to ensure financial sustainability for the subsequent 15-17 years.

Consider the following factors:

Inflation: Account for inflation in your expense calculations to maintain the purchasing power of your corpus over time.
Investment Returns: Assess the expected returns from your current investments and future contributions to meet your target corpus.
Expenses: Review your anticipated expenses post-retirement, including healthcare, travel, and other lifestyle needs.
Contingency Planning: Build a buffer for unforeseen expenses or emergencies to safeguard your retirement corpus.
Regular Review: Periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust your investment strategy if needed to stay on track towards your retirement goals.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and retirement aspirations. With careful planning and prudent management, you can aim for financial security and peace of mind in your retirement years.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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