Dear Love Guru 
I am 25. I was head over heels in love with a boy from my colony and he broke up with me. We were in a relationship for 5 years. I couldn't get over the break up and at times I still wake up in the night and cry. My parents don't know about him and my breakup. They plan to get me married and have created a profile for me in matrimonial sites. I am not ready to get married. My trust is completely shattered and I don't think I will ever trust my future partner. I feel cheated. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Mahi,
Thank you for asking. I am doing well and trust that you too will be in the same space as well.
When what he has done has broken your trust, it is difficult to get it back... he has come back, but you are perhaps thinking: what if he pulls the same stunt again? And this makes you question every move of his...

If you look at it from his point of view, he possibly also loves you but his family pressures are getting to him and he can do only that much. Yes, it would have been more 'human' to talk to you about what had happened after he spoke with his family. But he chose not to and that lack of transparency is what has thrown you off...perhaps, he isn't all that mature emotionally or feels that he might lose you if he shares anything.

Whatever it is, your loss of trust on him is justified after the way he had behaved. If the two of you still want to give your relationship a chance, kindly do so...and clearly state to him that you have lost trust on him. Not only does he have explaining to do but he must reassure you that he will be honest with you in future. Also, give some time before committing to a marriage while you watch whether he has changed and he is consistent with what he has committed to changing. Only when you are sure, take a decision either way!

All the best!

Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

Ans: Hello Lavanya
It's important to take care of yourself and focus on what you need and deserve in a relationship.

Firstly, give yourself some time to process what has happened. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These emotions are natural when someone you trusted has let you down. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned.

Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can be incredibly helpful during this time. They can offer support and a listening ear as you work through your feelings and decide your next steps.

It's crucial to recognize your own worth and what you deserve in a relationship. You deserve someone who respects, loves, and is committed to you wholeheartedly. If this man has shown that he isn't capable of that, then it might be best to let him go, even though it's difficult.

Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you regain your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who support and care for you.

In time, you'll find clarity and strength. Remember, this experience doesn't define you or your future. You deserve a loving and honest relationship, and by prioritizing yourself now, you'll be in a better position to find it in the future.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sounds like you are torn between your feelings for him and love and respect for your parents. Firstly, acknowledge that you are allowed to feel confused. Next, understand that you deserve a relationship where you feel happy and safe. Will this relationship give you that? Take some time to evaluate whether staying with him will align with your goal of long-term happiness. You have mentioned manipulation; consider that too when gauging the potential of this relationship.

Coming to your parents, you can try gently communicating your unwillingness to get married to someone else right now. That does not automatically translate to your desire to marry this guy. It can also mean that you need some time to figure things out. Ultimately, you need to make a decision that makes you happy- whether it means working things out with him or taking a separate path. I am sure you will make the right choice.

Best Wishes.

Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.

all the best.