Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Confused 63-Year-Old Seeking Advice: Is Life Only About Money and Logic?

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Raj on Jul 30, 2024Hindi

Hi After long years of struggle at the age of 63 I have realised that life is an adjustment. I feel that we must live life intelligentlly and not emotionally. I loved my parents very much more than my own family,now they are no more and I am now satisfied with my family. I also learnt that finance is the most important thing in life and it's money which determines ones ability to lead a comfortable life. Financial strength results in getting love from your wife and children. A poor man,a sick man is not respected by his family or society and has no impact on anyone.

Ans: Dear Raj,
I assume that you simply meant to share your thoughts and there is no question for me.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your experiences. I am sure many readers will gain a thing or two from what you have shared.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

Question by PK - Nov 12, 2020Hindi

Hi Anu, I am 50, male, working in PSU and hail from a village background. My children are grown up now without having affection with their village roots. For me, it is disappointing as I do not feel connected to the city I am living in. Also, I do not find motivation to settle in the polluted city. Despite all odds, I still have longing for my village but have strong fear that I will be alone at the fag end of life. Even my wife do not support my idea to go back and live at a place where there is not medical facility. I ponder this issue again and again and fill with dissatisfaction by the very purpose of moving ahead in the life.

Ans: Dear PK, As hard as it may seem, children may not have the same level of fondness that you might have for your roots.

When we grow up in a place, you have associated memories there and people who were with you and that makes you feel nice about the place.

This may not be true for everyone especially children who have no associations to entice them into. It may be the same for your wife as well.

When they actually present an argument as to why they are not comfortable living in the village, do hear them out instead of feeling sad/disappointed.

When your wife expresses that she does not want to settle in a place where there are no medical facilities, isn’t she actually concerned for the both of your futures?

Is it perhaps time for you to think if you are allowing emotions to cloud a logical decision?

Settling down in a village especially after being in a city for a long time can be a very tough call to make; few have done it knowing that they may not have 24 hours of power or water supply or sanitation facilities, let alone, medical facilities.

Not everyone can and wants to.

What you perhaps crave for is peace and calmness of the village. Recreate it within your own home and surroundings.

Visit parks/nature area more often, meditate and visit your village as and when you can.

Ultimately, the decision of settling down in the future is a big one and it must be a joint decision from you and your wife.

Also, do consider the possibilities of the inability of children or relatives in visiting you due to the distance and their priorities. Be happy and decide to be happy where you are right now!

Relationship

Anu Krishna | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Hindi

I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

Relationship