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Anu Krishna  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
PK Question by PK on Nov 12, 2020Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu,

I am 50, male, working in PSU and hail from a village background.

My children are grown up now without having affection with their village roots.

For me, it is disappointing as I do not feel connected to the city I am living in.

Also, I do not find motivation to settle in the polluted city.

Despite all odds, I still have longing for my village but have strong fear that I will be alone at the fag end of life.

Even my wife do not support my idea to go back and live at a place where there is not medical facility.

I ponder this issue again and again and fill with dissatisfaction by the very purpose of moving ahead in the life.

Ans: Dear PK, As hard as it may seem, children may not have the same level of fondness that you might have for your roots.

When we grow up in a place, you have associated memories there and people who were with you and that makes you feel nice about the place.

This may not be true for everyone especially children who have no associations to entice them into. It may be the same for your wife as well.

When they actually present an argument as to why they are not comfortable living in the village, do hear them out instead of feeling sad/disappointed.

When your wife expresses that she does not want to settle in a place where there are no medical facilities, isn’t she actually concerned for the both of your futures?

Is it perhaps time for you to think if you are allowing emotions to cloud a logical decision?

Settling down in a village especially after being in a city for a long time can be a very tough call to make; few have done it knowing that they may not have 24 hours of power or water supply or sanitation facilities, let alone, medical facilities.

Not everyone can and wants to.

What you perhaps crave for is peace and calmness of the village. Recreate it within your own home and surroundings.

Visit parks/nature area more often, meditate and visit your village as and when you can.

Ultimately, the decision of settling down in the future is a big one and it must be a joint decision from you and your wife.

Also, do consider the possibilities of the inability of children or relatives in visiting you due to the distance and their priorities. Be happy and decide to be happy where you are right now!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 50 year old married having a daughter studying in 9th standard, wife is house wife. I stay with my parents. They have separate home also, pension and medical facility also and not dependent on me either financially or for medical needs. I have a 2 bhk home and no loan on it. Education and marriage expenses for daughter is already arranged. I have a corpus of 2.4 Crores. Medical facility will be provided by the company life long without any cap. I do not have pension facility. My 2 bhk will fetch 30K per month if rented out. Can I quit my job, move to a tier 2 city , take a home on rent and retire with this corpus leading life with degraded mode. Please advise.
Ans: Evaluating Early Retirement in a Tier 2 City

Congratulations on your financial discipline and foresight in securing your family's future. You have a substantial corpus of Rs 2.4 crores, no loans, and a well-planned approach for your daughter's education and marriage. With your 2 BHK home generating rental income of Rs 30,000 per month and lifelong medical coverage from your company, you are in a strong position. Now, let's analyze the feasibility and implications of retiring early, moving to a tier 2 city, and living comfortably within your means.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position

You have accumulated a significant corpus of Rs 2.4 crores. This is a strong foundation for early retirement. Let’s break down your financial assets and income sources:

Corpus: Rs 2.4 crores
Rental Income from 2 BHK: Rs 30,000 per month (Rs 3.6 lakhs per year)
Lifelong Medical Coverage: No cap
Monthly and Annual Expenses Assessment

Before making a decision, it’s crucial to estimate your expected monthly and annual expenses in a tier 2 city. Consider the following categories:

Housing Rent: Depending on the city, rental expenses might vary. Assume Rs 15,000 per month for a comfortable home.
Utilities and Maintenance: Electricity, water, internet, and other utilities. Estimate Rs 5,000 per month.
Groceries and Household Expenses: Basic living expenses for a family of three. Estimate Rs 20,000 per month.
Transportation: Public transportation or fuel costs for a personal vehicle. Estimate Rs 5,000 per month.
Healthcare and Insurance: Although your medical is covered, allocate Rs 2,000 per month for any unforeseen expenses.
Lifestyle and Leisure: Dining out, entertainment, and hobbies. Estimate Rs 5,000 per month.
Miscellaneous: Unplanned expenses. Estimate Rs 3,000 per month.
Total Monthly Expenses: Rs 55,000

Annualizing these costs:

Total Annual Expenses: Rs 6.6 lakhs

Income vs. Expenses

Your rental income of Rs 3.6 lakhs per year covers a significant portion of your annual expenses. The remaining Rs 3 lakhs can be drawn from your corpus.

Sustainable Withdrawal Rate

A safe withdrawal rate for retirees is typically 4% of the corpus per year. Let’s calculate:

4% of Rs 2.4 crores: Rs 9.6 lakhs per year
Your annual expenses of Rs 6.6 lakhs fall well within this limit, allowing for sustainable withdrawals without depleting your corpus rapidly.

Investment Strategy for Corpus

To ensure your corpus lasts through your retirement, it’s important to invest wisely. Consider a mix of the following:

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: For stability and regular income.
Fixed Deposits: For safety and assured returns.
Assuming a Conservative Return

Assume a conservative annual return of 7% on your investments. This is achievable with a balanced portfolio of equities and fixed-income instruments.

Annual Return on Rs 2.4 crores at 7%: Rs 16.8 lakhs
Managing Inflation

Inflation erodes the purchasing power of money over time. Assume an average inflation rate of 5% per year. Your investment strategy should aim to beat inflation.

Adjusting for Inflation

To maintain your lifestyle, your corpus and income need to grow at least at the inflation rate. A diversified portfolio can help achieve this.

Lifestyle Considerations in a Tier 2 City

Moving to a tier 2 city can offer a lower cost of living while maintaining a good quality of life. Consider the following aspects:

Housing Costs: Significantly lower than in metropolitan areas.
Community and Lifestyle: Tier 2 cities often have a close-knit community feel, with various amenities.
Healthcare Facilities: While major treatments might require travel to bigger cities, routine healthcare is usually adequate.
Risks and Contingencies

Every plan comes with risks. Consider the following:

Market Volatility: Market fluctuations can affect your investment returns. Diversification helps mitigate this risk.
Health Emergencies: Despite medical coverage, consider a health emergency fund.
Unexpected Expenses: Maintain a contingency fund for unforeseen expenses.
Creating a Financial Plan

A well-structured financial plan will guide you through retirement. Here’s a suggested approach:

1. Emergency Fund:

Set aside 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid fund. This provides a safety net for unexpected situations.

2. Investment Allocation:

60% in Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term growth.
30% in Debt Mutual Funds and Fixed Deposits: For stability and regular income.
10% in Liquid Funds: For emergency and short-term needs.
3. Regular Monitoring and Review:

Regularly review your investments and expenses. Adjust your strategy based on market conditions and personal needs.

4. Health Insurance:

Even with company-provided coverage, consider a personal health insurance policy for additional protection.

Retirement Lifestyle and Goals

Consider your lifestyle and goals during retirement. Think about:

Hobbies and Interests: Pursue activities you enjoy.
Travel Plans: Allocate a budget for travel and experiences.
Volunteer Work: Engage in community service or social work.
Impact on Family

Discuss your plans with your family. Ensure they are comfortable with the move and the lifestyle changes. Your daughter’s education and social life should be considered.

Creating a Legacy

Plan for your daughter’s future and any legacy you wish to leave. Consider estate planning and creating a will.

Conclusion

Retiring early and moving to a tier 2 city is feasible with your current financial situation. Your corpus, combined with rental income, can support a comfortable lifestyle. Carefully planning and investing your corpus, managing expenses, and considering inflation will ensure financial security. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can further refine your plan and provide personalized advice. Wishing you a fulfilling and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for suitable match through Arranged Marriage Platforms. Recently, I had connected with a Lady (25F) who seemed to tick all the Boxes, which I preferred in a Life Partner & she seemed to like me too, we both were getting along quite well through chatting & phone calls. When we met, in person for the first time, I POLITELY asked her what's her BODY COUNT (while mentioning that my Body Count is Zero, as I am VIRGIN). Immediately, she lost her Temper, started abusing me & splashed her Drink all over my Face & Clothes, she was physically assaulting me, when the waiters intervened & calmed her down. I was feeling Humiliated in Public. She threatened that she would Report me to the Police for 'SEXUAL HARASSMENT'. Realising that she could ruin my Life, I apologised to her earnestly & made Peace. Needless to say, she ended all contact with me. But, this incident has left me emotionally bruised. Did I do anything Wrong by asking my prospective Life Partner about her Sexual History? Don't I have the Right to know about this aspect of the Woman, I'd be Marrying? Was she right in taking offence at my Question? Can her Reaction be Justified? Does my Question warrant a Criminal Case against me (something as Heinous as 'Sexual Harassment')? How do I handle such situations in the Future? Should I avoid asking, any other prospects, in the future m, such sensitive personal Questions? What do I do, in case, any other Lady, behaves aggressively with me? Would it be better, if I Record our entire conversation, secretly, using a Bodycam, as a Pro-Active measure, to prove my Innocence & defend myself against Criminal Proceedings? Would it be Legal, to Record our Conversation, without her Knowledge or Consent? Or shall I seek her Consent & Proceed cautiously? Please Advise me, how to handle such sensitive situations, in the Future.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things have definitely changed in the dating and marriage scene from what it was even 20 or 10 years back...
But hey, I still have my reservations on whether women are comfortable answering very intimate questions...do you not think that a question on body count can be reserved to a future meeting maybe when the two of you show interest in each other and when transparency is vital to further the connection?
Right on Day 1, what is the necessity to jump about and get curious about it? Maybe if someone asked you, you would be okay with it but not everyone or every woman is going to be comfortable with it.
When you pay attention to what the other person wants and likes, there are minimal chances of you slipping up and irking them; where is the question then to take care of legal stuff, recording etc...
Genuinely be there with the other person in a conversation and when the rapport is built, the conversation flows effortlessly and you will start to enjoy it. Start to get curious about who they are as people rather than how many people they have slept with...This should help you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
Relationship
How can an elder man attract young women
Ans: Attracting someone, regardless of age, begins with authenticity and mutual respect. If an older man is interested in forming a connection with a younger woman, it’s important to focus on qualities that foster meaningful relationships. Younger women are often drawn to the stability, confidence, and life experience that an older man can bring to the table, but the key lies in presenting these qualities without pretense or arrogance.

Confidence rooted in self-awareness and emotional maturity can be particularly appealing. This doesn’t mean showing off achievements or wealth, but rather displaying a genuine sense of self and clarity about what you want in life. Emotional maturity—expressed through kindness, patience, and good communication—creates a safe and engaging space for meaningful interactions.

Equally important is the ability to connect on a deeper level. Shared interests, respect for her individuality, and a willingness to engage with her worldview go a long way. Relationships thrive when both individuals feel valued and heard. An older man should approach a younger woman with curiosity about her experiences and aspirations, while also offering his perspective in a way that enriches the connection rather than dominating it.

It’s also crucial to approach such a dynamic with an understanding of potential societal perceptions. While age-gap relationships are increasingly accepted, they often come with assumptions or judgments. The foundation of a strong relationship in this context lies in ensuring that the connection feels equal, mutually respectful, and free of power imbalances.

Finally, maintaining physical and emotional health contributes to overall attractiveness. When a man prioritizes his wellbeing, it not only enhances his confidence but also signals that he values himself and his relationships. Attraction in any relationship is multifaceted, involving both external qualities and the inner richness of character.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024
Relationship
I was in a relationship with a boy(he is 35 yrs old man, and a lawyer but not practising in a court, he had a lot of relationship during our relationship and after break up , He had changed 4, 5 women or used them physically) for 3 years. It has been three-four months. We are not in a relationship. We have broken up. I told him to delete our personal pics and videos. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either. I told him that since we don't want to be together, we don't have a future together, then delete them. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either and I want him to delete them. Who knows what will come to his mind in the future and what will happen. If we don't continue, he has no right to Keep the pics in your mobile, whatever video is personal to us, don't delete it and don't blackmail me either. I am not able to understand what should I tell him, although I have requested him a lot to delete it but he is not doing it either, He told me that I have kept ur pics and videos So that I cannot complain against him in future. so what should I do, please guide me. I know I had made a huge mistake to love him and gave him right to keep personal pics or videos..
Ans: At this point, it’s essential to protect your emotional and mental health while addressing this issue. You might consider seeking support from someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, to share this burden. Talking to someone who knows you and your situation can provide comfort and practical guidance.

If he continues to refuse, you may need to explore your legal options. Many countries have laws that protect individuals from having private photos or videos kept or shared without their consent. Taking this step might feel daunting, but it could give you a sense of empowerment and security. It’s not about revenge or escalation; it’s about protecting yourself and asserting your right to move forward without this hanging over you.

On an emotional level, remind yourself that you are not defined by this relationship or the choices you made while in it. You trusted someone who didn’t honor that trust, but this doesn’t diminish your value or strength. It’s natural to feel regret, but you deserve compassion from yourself as you work through this.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to seek help—whether that’s legal advice, emotional support from loved ones, or even professional counseling to navigate the stress and anxiety this situation might be causing. The most important thing now is to take steps that protect your peace of mind and ensure your future isn’t weighed down by his actions.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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