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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I am in a physical relationship with a younger neighbour. He recently told me that he has a girlfriend but he doesn't want to get married to her. They have been childhood friends so she is seeing me as competition. She feels that I am the reason for their breakup. I don't know how to handle this.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
While you are not at all to be blamed, neither is she. The guy on the other hand was definitely wrong to cheat on her with you. Still, there isn’t much you can do here. Her feelings are valid though they are very much misplaced. Your neighbour needs to take accountability and explain that you didn’t know about the relationship. But it might not help much. All you can do right now is make peace with it and know in your heart that you didn’t get involved with him knowing he was committed; you were as much in the dark as her.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Please answer my question. I know it's long but I am really in a very bad situation. I am a girl. I love a guy and he also loves me but he is in a relationship since 2 years with another girl. We all three know know each other. Actually me and that guy came into contact because of our work and then we also started our business together. He was in a relationship and I was also in a relationship. Then i went through a breakup. At 1st we were very good friend and her girlfriend is also like a friend only but not as close. Me and the guy are very much compatible with each other in every aspect even our career goals are also similar, our caste is also same(in our areas caste matters a lot) and I belive compatibility is a big factor for we having feeling for each other and also proximity because of work. It happens after my breakup, I got the hint that he is having feelings for me which he told me indirectly but i told him that i will never see you from that perspective as i was decided that i am never going to like a guy who is committed and also for other reasons. But later I fell for him and talked to him directly, we both confessed our feeling for each other. We both love each other so much. But later I realised that I confessed assuming that since he can like me even being in relationship it means he don't have feelings for her now so if he will know that I also like him he will breakup with that girl. And he never though this kind of situation will come because he thought I could never like him as I made it clear to him earlier. Now we are stuck in a situation where our work is involved. We both are co-founders of a 3 co-founding member organization and that girl is also doing volunteering with our organization. I also had good relations with her. They both are from different caste but the guy committed her to marry her and now the his girlfriend do not want to breakup with him, she is saying she will do something suicide type if he won't marry her and she has also conveyed the same thing to her family as her family used to be against their relationship because of their caste but now because of the girl's behaviour they are convinced and it is creating a pressure for this guy, he is stuck. I am also stuck because we know that we are perfect for each other but he is scared that if he breakup with her she might do something and if he do not choose me then it will affect our work/career because I feel like if he won't choose me I won't be able to be in contact with him but it will cost our organization. He has requested me that if I don't choose you because of the situation, atleast let's maintain our friendship as you are like my strength and I can't behave like ki I don't know you and also because of our work but i think even if i try i won't be able to fulfill his this request if he won't choose me. Additionally, I am also getting pressure from my family because of my age but I am feeling stuck. I also feel guilty for that girl because i knew they were in relationship but I still have strong feelings for me and he also. Me and that guy is so stuck that it feels like our life will be ruined as everything is at stake from career to family.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry to hear about the tricky situation you are in. I understand that it's painful and it almost seems impossible to move on from this guy but trust me, it will be for the best. If he picks you and leaves his now-girlfriend, you'd forever suffer from a guilty conscience and god forbid she actually resorts to self-harm. It is entirely their matter. Let him convince her that their relationship is meaningless because he is already in love with someone else. It's not your part to play. You cannot be the one to ask him to break up or pick you. I know that sucks, but that's the reality of it.

In my opinion, you can create a little distance between the two of you. Let him decide. You or her, or maybe he can just pick himself. But please don't choose him because the blame will later land on you. You take care of yourself and protect your mind. It seems impossible to unlove him but trust me, you deserve someone much more uncomplicated. The moment you realize that you will move on instantly.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
We are an unmarried couple living on rent in Pune. My landlord stays abroad so he doesn't have a problem as long as we don't create any problem for him. We have been here for over 3 years, working and living with the consent of our parents. Recently, a neighbour had an argument in the society and since then she has been finding a way to have us vacate the place because she thinks only married couples should be allowed. My landlord wants us to resolve the differences immediately. How do I resolve this amicably with the neighbour?
Ans: Let’s take a moment to imagine the space you and your partner share in Pune—not just the physical home, but the emotional and social landscape that surrounds it. Sometimes, when unexpected challenges arise, like the concerns of a neighbor, they offer us an invitation to explore deeper connections and understandings.

A Journey of Understanding
Picture this situation as a garden. Each relationship, whether with your neighbor, landlord, or your partner, is a unique plant requiring its own care and attention. When one plant seems to overshadow another, it doesn't mean they can't coexist; it simply means finding the right balance and nourishment for both.

Exploring Perspectives
Consider walking in your neighbor’s shoes for a moment. What might be beneath her insistence that only married couples reside in the society? Perhaps there’s a story, a belief, or a concern that’s shaping her actions. By gently uncovering her motivations, you open the door to empathy and understanding.

Communicating with Compassion
Imagine approaching your neighbor with the warmth of a handshake and the openness of a conversation. You might say, “I understand there may be concerns about our living situation. We’ve always strived to be respectful and considerate neighbors. Can we talk about any specific worries you might have?” This invites dialogue rather than confrontation, fostering a space where both sides can express their feelings.

Finding Common Ground
Think about the shared elements that bind a community together—respect, kindness, and mutual support. Perhaps there’s a way to reassure your neighbor of your commitment to these values. Offering to participate in community activities or addressing any specific concerns she has can build trust and dissolve misunderstandings.

Seeking Harmony
Envision a harmonious resolution where both your needs and your neighbor’s concerns are acknowledged. It might involve setting clear boundaries, demonstrating your reliability as tenants, or even finding creative solutions that respect everyone’s viewpoints. The goal isn’t to win a dispute but to cultivate a peaceful and respectful coexistence.

Embracing Collaboration
Sometimes, the most effective solutions emerge when both parties collaborate rather than confront. You and your neighbor might discover that, beneath the surface, there are shared interests or goals that can bridge the gap between differing perspectives. This collaboration can transform a potential conflict into an opportunity for stronger community bonds.

Reflecting on Your Path
As you navigate this situation, take a moment to reflect on what matters most to you and your partner. How can you honor your relationship while also respecting the community you’re part of? By aligning your actions with your values and approaching the challenge with empathy, you create a foundation for lasting harmony.

The Bigger Picture
Remember, every challenge is a chance to grow and deepen your connections. By addressing your neighbor’s concerns with compassion and openness, you not only work towards resolving the immediate issue but also contribute to a more understanding and cohesive community.

In this journey, trust in your ability to communicate effectively, empathize deeply, and find solutions that honor both your relationship and the community around you. As you move forward, let each step be guided by respect, understanding, and the shared desire for a peaceful coexistence.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 48, male, divorced from my wife. I have a 12 year old daughter. I am in love with a colleague in my office who is also married and seeking divorce. We have known each other for 3 years. Her husband recently found about us and has since decided to delay the divorce proceedings. He is not consenting for mutual divorce. While we love and support each other, this new development is now affecting our relationship. Her husband doesn't appreciate us meeting or talking at work or texting each other. He is unecessarily harassing her to make it seem like I am the villain and she should feel guilty about choosing to divorce at the age of 45. I don't see how it is my fault. But I don't want her to go through this pain of dealing with a guy who she doesn't want to live with. Please suggest what I can do to help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do other than just be by her side and simply understand her situation?
Her husband perhaps feels threatened by another male stepping in and hence delaying the divorce or not consenting to it will drag this whole thing...On your part, do not get so emotionally invested that it begins to take a toll on your peace of mind. This situation isn't going to be an easy one and it will just stretch your emotional band very thin; both for you and the lady. So, take it slow and it may help not being in the radar much so that the husband also backs off. It's sadly called - playing games.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
After death of my mother, my father (54 years old) is having extra marital affair with an unmarried neighbour (25). Nobody knows about it except our family. Me (23) & my sister (21) tried our best to make father understand that this is not the correct time to do such things, but he is not listening to us & not ready to understand. It looks useless for him to have affair with her because there is no future of this relationship. Age gap is also huge. Her parents also don't know about it. Neither we can tell them about it, because they will target our family & ruin our life. They can also file police complain against our family if they gets to know about it. I am sure they will also deny this relationship. Took our relatives help too, but it didn't work. Don't know what to do. Can you please help ??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your father is just coping with his loss in this manner; it's unusual and very complicated. Now, is it right or not is something that is left to him to decide. But he does need to understand that this could also ruin the reputation of that young girl. She is just under his influence in terms of attention (physical and maybe emotional) and it's likely once he's through the grieving phase, he will drop the girl like a hot potato and she will have no where to talk and complain about it.
Do involve an elderly family member who can talk sense into him. This is not just about respecting your late mother but also understanding the repercussions of having an association with a younger woman and that too a neighbor. If he is just doing this to forget his grief, it's not going to end well for anybody.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Relationship
one of my friend who is married from past 14 years having 2 kids (elder son 12 and daughter 8)...he was out of home deputed to site on project work by company for more than 4 months. During this period he did not visit the home but regularly available on call and in touch with his w... when he returned to home his wife was behavior was not normal as like earlier ... later he found out that his wife got involve with her college friend during this period ..... and they had physical 01 time during this period... now my best friend he is very caring and not able to forget this betrayed act by his wife... after all this he is not able to concentrate and focus on his work.. he love his wife so much and want to forgive her but how to handle this situation in decent way... he is not willing to divorce or parting his ways... request you to suggest some way out to get out of situation and lead a normal life as like earlier
Ans: Dear Navya,
He loves her
He wants to forgive her
BUT
He is not able to forget what his wife has done
Sadly, both these work in opposite directions...
If he is willing to rebuild his marriage, he does not need to forget what his wife has done BUT he can work on how to process what she has done. This is difficult to do...but he will need to understand what happened, the reasons for it, if the wife is still interested in the marriage and if both are willing to work together towards the future. If this seems a bit difficult to work out by themselves, I suggest that they see an expert who can guide them aptly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1749 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
hello mam, My son 19 year old from last 4 year his behavior change not listing not having food properly whole day watching mobile after 10th i put him diploma in electrical engineer he completed his 1 year but from 2nd year he stop going to college we both are working parent so nobody is there at home to force to go for college his teacher every day calling me to send him to college but he is not listing i ask him did teacher scold you or any student is troubling you he said no one is troubling me i don't want to study i want to do voice dubbing i want to give my voice for cartoon and for dubb movies in july 2025 he told me in 2028 i will leave both of you i have my dream i leave the home i ask him what is your dream he said 1st 2 dream i cant tell you but 3rd dream is to go to japan for tour i thought he is joking. In August 2025 he started going for voice dubbing classes in 1st week of August 2025 he told me my planning is change next month only i will leave both of you again i thought is just pulling my leg but on 15 September its regular Monday we both parent went for job and he called me around 12 pm and said daddy left the home not a single rupees he had with him and he left the home in full of rain he keep walking and talking to me i ask him where you are going but he said that's secrete i took his mom in conference and try convince him but he not listing with 1 hour talking with him on phone i ask him tell me the landmark where you are he told me one landmark while talking him i left office to reach the landmark he told i forcibly sit him in car and take back home with his mother after reaching home with his mother we are trying to convince don't do like this its your home we have only one child that is you but he said no today is the i want to go let me go don't fail my planning whole standing at home he said want to go without having water or food just crying and saying i want leave the home in evening at 7pm i told him give me three month i will send to japan for tour after hearing this he little bit convince but said repair my mobile which was shutdown due rain water get inside arrange visa and passport within three month and give new laptop for playing game but after three i will leave both of you and left the home in december 2025 he told me he will the home. he is very superstitious at home not having bath use same cloth he said if change cloth and have bath all my power will go after that incidence leaving home he become more superstitious each and every moment he whispering himself after asking why you doing this saying this is my power i will get what i want if i scold him he said i will leave home right now please help me what to do he not having bath not changing cloth not having afternoon food not cutting his nails from last 15 days i am very much in stress due to his behavior and stress about his future also he is not behaving like a normal child whole day and night watching mobile. Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please take him to a professional who can evaluate him. There are a lot of gaps in what you haev shared and a professional will be able to ask the right questions and be of better guidance to your son and your family.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi Vivek, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built strong foundations early.
Many people reach forty without such assets.
You already reduced major future stress.
That itself gives you an advantage.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 43 years old.
– You work in a private organisation.
– You own your house fully.
– You have no loans.
– This gives financial stability.

– Retirement focused savings already exist.
– Long term instruments form your base.
– Your money is spread across safety products.
– Liquidity is limited but acceptable.
– Growth exposure needs attention.

» Existing Investment Review
– Retirement related savings are meaningful.
– Mandatory savings have helped discipline.
– These instruments protect capital well.
– However growth potential is limited.
– Inflation risk exists over long periods.

– These assets suit long term security.
– They suit retirement stability well.
– They are not designed for high growth.
– Child goals need higher growth.
– Marriage expenses need liquidity planning.

» Child Education Time Horizon
– Your child is in 11th Science.
– Higher education expenses are near.
– Time available is limited.
– Risk capacity is lower here.
– Planning must be conservative.

– Education costs grow faster than inflation.
– Professional courses cost significantly more.
– Overseas options cost even higher.
– Partial funding support is important.
– Loans should be minimised.

» Child Marriage Planning Window
– Marriage expenses are medium term.
– You still have some time.
– Cultural expectations increase costs.
– Planning early reduces stress.
– This goal needs balance.

– Too much risk can hurt plans.
– Too little growth causes shortfall.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual shift towards safety helps.
– Liquidity must be ensured.

» Retirement Planning Horizon
– Retirement is long term.
– You have nearly two decades.
– This allows growth oriented approach.
– Inflation is biggest risk here.
– Passive savings alone will not suffice.

– Retirement expenses last many years.
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Regular income post retirement matters.
– Corpus must be inflation protected.
– Growth assets become essential.

» Understanding Rs 80 Lac Requirement
– Rs 80 Lac is a combined target.
– All goals have different timelines.
– One strategy will not suit all.
– Segmentation is essential.
– This avoids misallocation.

– Education needs immediate planning.
– Marriage needs medium planning.
– Retirement needs long term planning.
– Each goal must be ring-fenced.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Asset Allocation Importance
– Asset allocation drives outcomes.
– Not product selection alone.
– Time horizon decides allocation.
– Risk appetite decides allocation.
– Discipline maintains allocation.

– Safety instruments protect capital.
– Growth instruments fight inflation.
– Balance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Rebalancing keeps strategy aligned.
– This is a continuous process.

» Role Of Equity Exposure
– Equity creates long term wealth.
– Equity is volatile short term.
– Time reduces equity risk.
– Retirement horizon suits equity.
– Education horizon needs limited equity.

– Selective equity exposure is essential.
– Quality matters more than quantity.
– Active management adds value.
– Market cycles require judgment.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Why Not Depend Only On Safe Instruments
– Safe instruments give predictable returns.
– They struggle to beat inflation.
– Purchasing power erodes slowly.
– Long term goals suffer silently.
– Growth becomes insufficient.

– Your current assets are safety heavy.
– Growth allocation needs improvement.
– This change should be gradual.
– Sudden shifts create stress.
– Planned transition works better.

» Education Goal Strategy
– Use conservative growth approach.
– Capital protection is priority.
– Avoid aggressive exposure now.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual de-risking is necessary.

– Education funding should be ready.
– Avoid dependency on future income.
– Avoid last minute borrowing.
– Keep funds accessible.
– Liquidity is key.

» Marriage Goal Strategy
– Marriage expenses are emotional.
– Costs are difficult to predict.
– Planning gives confidence.
– Balanced approach is ideal.
– Growth plus safety mix works.

– Start allocating gradually.
– Increase safety closer to event.
– Avoid locking money long term.
– Keep flexibility.
– Avoid speculation.

» Retirement Goal Strategy
– Retirement planning needs growth focus.
– Inflation is the silent enemy.
– Long horizon allows equity.
– Volatility should be accepted.
– Discipline ensures compounding.

– Retirement corpus must grow faster.
– Contributions should increase with income.
– Lifestyle expectations must be realistic.
– Healthcare buffer is essential.
– Regular review is necessary.

» Role Of Active Funds
– Markets do not move uniformly.
– Sectors rotate frequently.
– Index funds stay static.
– They reflect index weaknesses.
– Active funds adapt better.

– Active managers adjust allocations.
– They reduce exposure in weak sectors.
– They increase exposure in growth areas.
– This helps during volatility.
– Especially for long term goals.

» Why Avoid Index Based Approach
– Index funds mirror market direction.
– They cannot protect downside.
– They remain exposed during corrections.
– Investors feel helpless.
– Returns stay average.

– Active strategies aim to outperform.
– They manage risk dynamically.
– They suit Indian market inefficiencies.
– Skilled management adds value.
– This matters over decades.

» Regular Investing Route Benefits
– Regular route offers guidance.
– Behaviour management is critical.
– Panic decisions destroy returns.
– Professional handholding matters.
– Especially during volatile phases.

– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Goal tracking becomes structured.
– Portfolio review becomes systematic.
– Emotional bias reduces.
– Long term success improves.

» Liquidity Planning
– Emergency funds are essential.
– You currently have limited liquidity.
– One year expenses should be accessible.
– This avoids distress selling.
– It protects long term investments.

– Emergency planning gives peace.
– Unexpected events do not derail plans.
– This should be built gradually.
– Avoid using retirement savings.
– Keep it separate.

» Insurance As Risk Management
– Insurance protects your plan.
– It is not an investment.
– Adequate life cover is essential.
– Health cover avoids financial shock.
– Premiums are necessary expenses.

– Delaying insurance increases risk.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Employer cover is insufficient.
– Family protection is priority.
– This secures your goals.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Tax planning should support goals.
– Avoid tax driven decisions alone.
– Post tax returns matter.
– Simplicity reduces mistakes.
– Compliance avoids future stress.

– Long term equity taxation is favourable.
– Short term churn increases tax.
– Stability helps efficiency.
– Avoid frequent switching.
– Stay disciplined.

» Monitoring And Review Process
– Plans are not static.
– Life changes require adjustment.
– Income growth allows higher contribution.
– Goals may change.
– Reviews keep relevance.

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid daily market tracking.
– Focus on progress.
– Ignore noise.
– Stick to strategy.

» Behavioural Discipline
– Emotions affect investment outcomes.
– Fear causes premature exit.
– Greed causes overexposure.
– Discipline balances both.
– Guidance helps immensely.

– Long term wealth needs patience.
– Short term market moves mislead.
– Consistency beats timing.
– Process beats prediction.
– Stay calm.

» Aligning Goals With Reality
– Rs 80 Lac goal is achievable.
– Planning must be realistic.
– Income growth will support it.
– Lifestyle control helps savings.
– Early planning reduces pressure.

– You already started well.
– Course correction is timely.
– Delay would increase burden.
– Action now simplifies future.
– Confidence improves.

» Family Communication
– Discuss goals with family.
– Shared understanding reduces conflict.
– Expectations become realistic.
– Decisions gain support.
– Stress reduces significantly.

– Financial planning is family planning.
– Transparency builds trust.
– It improves discipline.
– Everyone works towards goals.
– Harmony improves.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Risk capacity is strong for retirement.
– Risk appetite may vary emotionally.
– Planning must respect both.
– Overexposure creates anxiety.
– Underexposure creates regret.

– Balance is the answer.
– Gradual allocation changes work best.
– Avoid extreme decisions.
– Stay flexible.
– Stay focused.

» Final Insights
– You have built a strong base.
– Assets are safe but growth limited.
– Goals need segmented planning.
– Education needs conservative strategy.
– Marriage needs balanced approach.
– Retirement needs growth focus.
– Active management adds value.
– Regular guidance supports discipline.
– Insurance protects the plan.
– Liquidity avoids stress.
– Review keeps alignment.
– Patience creates results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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