Im 28M, feel like i have done wasted a lot of my life till now. I'm in a career but its not going good, I waste a lot of time in mobile, I don't have have any social life. I feel immature for a relationship. My patents are looking for a match, but I feel unworthy. I want to improve myself atleast till a point where I can accept myself. Please help.

Ans:

Dear SR,

When you don’t value yourself, why expect anyone to value you?

Thinking of attempting to take your life just because of a failed relationship only means that your life is always in someone else’s hands.

Obviously, your earning capacity is the way it is as you are not working to your full potential.

How can you with the way you think about yourself!

Your life is important and it counts. Value it; love yourself more.

Indulge in some hobby and treat your friends the way you want them to treat you. And if you feel that people act good with you only to take advantage of you, ask yourself if you are giving them your full attention while you are with them.

Time to stop pitying yourself, smile a lot, reassure yourself that this moment is a new beginning and most importantly: Love yourself even more.

All the best!

Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.

Ans: I understand that you are feeling lost after finishing college and working in a startup for two years without any experience. It’s natural to feel this way, but there are many things you can do to find your path. Here are some suggestions:

Reflect on your interests and passions: Take some time to think about what you enjoy doing and what you’re passionate about. This can help you identify potential career paths that align with your interests.

Explore different career options: Research different career options that interest you and learn more about the skills and qualifications required for those roles. You can also consider taking online courses or attending workshops to develop new skills.

Network with professionals in your field: Reach out to professionals in your field of interest and ask them about their career paths. You can also ask for advice on how to get started in the industry.

Gain experience through internships or volunteering: Consider taking on internships or volunteering opportunities to gain experience and build your resume. This can also help you make connections in your field of interest.

Consider further education: If you’re interested in pursuing a specific career path that requires additional education, consider going back to school to gain the necessary qualifications.

Remember, it’s never too late to find your path. Take some time to reflect on your interests and passions, explore different career options, and gain experience through internships or volunteering.

Ans: Feeling stuck and lacking focus can be incredibly frustrating. While I can't replace a qualified therapist or NLP life coach, I can offer some suggestions based on NLP principles and general psychological practices that might help.

Understanding the Stuckness:

Self-reflection: Take some time for introspection. Ask yourself: what specifically feels "stuck"? Is it a particular area of your life (career, relationships, etc.) or a general feeling of unfulfillment? What are your thoughts and emotions around this feeling?
Identify unhelpful patterns: Are there negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back? Do you constantly criticize yourself or doubt your abilities? Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Shifting Your Focus:

Start small: Trying to achieve too much at once can be overwhelming. Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence. Focus on celebrating small wins, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can improve your ability to focus and prioritize.
Reconnect with your values: What are your core values and passions in life? Reminding yourself of what truly matters can guide your decisions and provide a sense of direction.
Taking Action:

Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, actively challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Ask yourself, "Is this thought truly helpful?"
Break down big tasks: Feeling overwhelmed by large tasks can easily lead to procrastination. Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps to make them less daunting.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're going through. Talking things out can provide valuable perspective and support.

Ans: Madam, Apologize for late reply. You have NOT mentioned, since 2010 till date, what you had been doing & about family background? Did you work any where or were doing any part-time jobs? Anyway, please note, (1) 'Office Politics' is everywhere, even in Top-Corporate-MNC Companies also. How to handle 'Office Politics' depends upon (a) how you perceive others and others perceive you (b) your skills and knowledge (c) your self-confidence (d) office hierarchy / organizational flow (d) your relationship with peers / superiors, related to your job profile (2) Have self-confidence / self-esteem over you and avoid comparing yourself with your friends (3) Now think over which all fields you are interested in. (4) As age is a major factor & keeping in view your educational qualifications / attempts in Govt Exams, you can opt for 'Teaching' at home for the school-children around your home for the subjects you are confident such as English, Social Science & Language. (5) Try this to keep yourself engaged with school children and to get a mental relief from your (some assumed) psychological problems. (6) There is always a demand for Home Tutors. Charge reasonable fees and have patience to become popular in your locality (7) You have to come out of your 'Introvert' personality and talk to your reliable and affectionate friends / relatives. This will further reduce your psychological problem (8) You can even apply to schools for 'Teaching Positions' even if the salary is low initially for the subjects like English, Social Science, depending upon the Grade. If you have any other question(s) related to your career / options, please ask me here in RediffGURU. All The BEST Madam. God Bless You.