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Is society more important than my happiness? 22 year old with a great life seeking advice on marrying a 32 year old man

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1480 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 22 years old having a good job and financially independent also was so good ij studies since childhood. I love a guy who so 32 years old with same caste, good family background and financially settled in his life. Despite of age gap, we are so in love with each other. My parents are not agreeing to this as he is 10 years older than me, they are so much concerned about society. I also do have an elder sister who is not married yet but we are ok to wait for a few years. But they are not accepting him and saying if i go and get married to me they will consider me dead for them. What do i do? I can’t leave my family nor him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Then wait for a few years...things may just get better in those few years and your parents may start to accept the guy. It's not like you need them give you a nod right away for marriage, right? So, wait up...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1480 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam i am 21 years old having a good post at central government as at erly age i got job and i joint it now i am 22 and having a boyfriend he is also central government officer and he is age 29 bu despite of the age gap the love bloomed and we are so in love with each other i told my family early tge condition and said that i want to marry him but my parents said after 25 we will ger u married but by sharing this at hone they are not having trust on mr and are being insecure and wants me to leave a government job and to come home because he is not from same caste and it will also be interstate marriage my family is having the fear of relatives and my mother us against of it they are saying intercaste marriage we will not support or accept continuously emotional blackmail to me trying to manipulate, brainwash me and abusing me emotionally verbally and physically. what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1480 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1480 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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Relationship
hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7820 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 27 years old with 2 cr corpus to invest planning to retire at the age of 35 can realistically consider??
Ans: You have built an impressive corpus of Rs 2 crore at 27. This is a great achievement.

Planning to retire at 35 is ambitious, but not impossible. It requires careful investment, expense control, and passive income generation.

Let’s evaluate if your corpus is enough for lifelong financial security.

Key Strengths in Your Plan
Strong starting corpus of Rs 2 crore at a young age.

A long investment horizon for wealth compounding.

No mention of liabilities, which keeps finances flexible.

Time to take calculated risks, as you have many earning years ahead.

Challenges to Consider
Retiring at 35 means funding expenses for 50+ years.

Inflation will significantly reduce purchasing power over time.

Medical costs will increase as you age, requiring a long-term plan.

You need passive income sources, as early retirement stops active earnings.

Investment growth must outpace withdrawals, or funds will deplete early.

Critical Factors for Early Retirement
1. Expected Monthly Expenses After Retirement
Your current expenses will rise due to inflation.

Lifestyle, travel, and healthcare costs will add to financial pressure.

Unexpected emergencies require backup funds.

You need a sustainable withdrawal plan to avoid exhausting your corpus.

2. Investment Growth vs. Inflation
A major risk is slow portfolio growth against rising expenses.

Bank FDs and conservative instruments won’t sustain early retirement.

Actively managed mutual funds provide better long-term returns.

Avoid index funds, as they lack flexibility in volatile markets.

Your portfolio should have growth and stability in the right proportion.

3. Sustainable Withdrawal Strategy
You need income-generating investments to replace active earnings.

Systematic withdrawals from mutual funds can support expenses.

A portion of funds should stay in equity for long-term growth.

Debt funds and fixed-income instruments can provide stability.

Avoid high-risk investments, as capital preservation is crucial.

Is Rs 2 Crore Enough to Retire at 35?
If your monthly expense is Rs 1 lakh, it will grow with inflation.

Your corpus should sustain withdrawals for at least 50 years.

A mix of growth and income investments will improve longevity.

A structured asset allocation plan is necessary for risk management.

Working with a Certified Financial Planner will help optimise your strategy.

Steps to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan
1. Increase Your Investments Till 35
Keep investing aggressively till retirement.

SIP contributions should increase yearly, based on income growth.

Avoid direct funds, as regular funds with CFP guidance perform better.

Diversify between equity and debt funds for stability.

2. Build Passive Income Sources
Dividend-paying funds can provide stable returns.

Rental income is unreliable due to maintenance costs and tenant risks.

A withdrawal strategy from mutual funds ensures liquidity.

A mix of growth and income funds will sustain long-term cash flow.

3. Plan for Medical and Emergency Expenses
Health insurance is important, but personal medical reserves are also needed.

Unexpected health issues can disrupt finances if not planned.

A dedicated medical fund ensures long-term security.

Finally
Rs 2 crore is a great start, but more investment is needed before retiring at 35.

You must grow your corpus aggressively over the next 8 years.

Avoid index funds and direct plans, as active management provides better results.

Create a structured withdrawal plan to avoid running out of money early.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to build a sustainable early retirement plan.

With the right asset allocation and investment discipline, early retirement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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