Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Should I marry a man shorter than me? My parents disapprove due to cultural differences and his height.

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Tanya Question by Tanya on Oct 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello Ma'am, I will be explaining my problem in detail. I sincerely appreciate your previous answer. As suggested, I spoke with my boyfriend about the apprehensions from my parents regarding cultural difference. He resolved many things . To be honest, what I mean by cultural difference is that I am from a Brahmin family who has been living in 'not so traditional' way. My parents are into the service class and are well educated. On the other hand, my boyfriend belongs to the merchant or 'Baniya' community and his father is a grocery shop owner and his mother is a housewife. Although they are decent people who do not put much restrictions. The reason my family is opposing this marriage even after resolving the apprehensions with my boyfriend is firstly his family background . My mother worries as to how she will introduce his family to our extended relatives and acquaintance. Adding to the problem, my boyfriend is 1.5 inches shorter than me. Now this is also a prime cause for major opposition from my family towards marrying my boyfriend. My mother explains this problem but I told her that these things do not matter . Could you please suggest me what to do now ? My boyfriend is an extremely loving person, who respects me and more than me he respects my family. Even after these problems he is ready to support me and wait for me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have said this:
My boyfriend is an extremely loving person, who respects me and more than me he respects my family. Even after these problems he is ready to support me and wait for me...
What more do you want?
Like I have already suggested, plan for how the two of you are going to face challenges when they arise and how you plan on working on differences that stem within the marriage due to culture and other values. Kindly refer to my first response to you...you will find suggestions there.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |633 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi. I am a muslim girl. I am in a relationship from 5 years. Me and my boyfriend loves each other a lot and we are very close as well. His family also likes me and accepted me. One more thing is that he is my relative. So my family also knows their family well and other relatives too know them. The problem is my family is not agreeing for the marriage as his family once upon a time asked financial help from my other relatives as for some reason they were not in good condition. However, they are now financially stable and ready for the marriage. But my family mix with one evil relative and she said very bad things about my bfs family which are not true. My family will never agree for the marriage. I tried many times to make them understand but they have too much ego. They want me to marry a rich guy so that they can show off to other people whether I am happy or not. Since childhood I have no good bonding with my parents due to their selfish nature. Moreover, other relatives never talked bad about my bf and his family. My family told me to not talk to him ever but I still talk to him as I truly feel he is my soulmate. What should I do at this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi mam/sir, I am 24 independent girl living in Bangalore. I come from a middle class family, with lot of past issues. My parents have horrible relationship; my father has never supported us in our education. My mother has only been there for us. My mother’s family has also supported us alot. I have a boyfriend for 4 years, he is well settled and educated person. I told my mother about him 2 years back. But my mother is not flinching at all, she is very firm that she will never agree to this as the boy is from another caste. She also says her parents i.e my grandparents will stop talking to us, their reaction will be horrifying. This I am also aware a little bit, my family is extremely conservative and no one in my family has ever done love marriage. I have slowly started to gather somd strength nd told my few cousins & aunt. They all suggestive me to forget this guy, as our family will never agree to it. I do not know how to proceed. This person is amazing & i am sure about him. On the other hand my mother has been constantly taunting me for this; but i am grateful to her for all her support till date. And the worst part - this alliance can only be finalised when my grandparents agree to it. Neither me nor my mother has guts to talk to them about it.
Ans: our mother’s strong opposition, driven by deeply ingrained beliefs and fear of societal backlash, makes it even harder. It’s understandable that she feels bound by her family’s expectations, and the thought of confronting your grandparents is overwhelming for both of you.

The fact that she has been constantly taunting you about this must be emotionally draining. At the same time, you feel grateful for all the support she has given you throughout your life, which makes this even more complicated. Your extended family reinforcing her stance adds to your struggle, making you feel like you have no one on your side.

You have already taken a big step by standing your ground, despite the pressure. Right now, the best approach might be to gradually help your mother see your boyfriend as a person, beyond just his caste. Instead of forcing the conversation toward marriage immediately, you could try introducing him in a way that feels natural—talking about his achievements, his values, and how he has supported you. Over time, she may begin to see him in a different light.

Since your grandparents hold the final say in family matters, their reaction is something you’re dreading. You know they will be resistant, and the thought of confronting them feels almost impossible. But at some point, the conversation will have to happen. It might help to find an ally within your family, someone who could support your case when the time comes. Is there anyone who has even slightly modern views or who understands you better? If there is, getting their support could make a huge difference.

While you navigate all of this, it’s important to remind yourself that this is your life. Your happiness matters, and while family approval is important, so is your personal choice. If they remain rigid despite your efforts, you may have to prepare yourself for tough decisions. The question you may need to ask yourself is how much time you’re willing to wait and what you would do if they never agree. If your boyfriend’s family is supportive, that could be a source of strength for you.

This is not an easy path, but if you believe in your relationship, standing by it with patience and persistence may eventually lead to a solution.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
LI have a boyfriend of almost 3 years. We have been in a loving relationship. My boyfriend lives in a joint family set up while I have lived almost my whole life in a nuclear family. My family has always been very open minded whereas his family is a traditional Indian jount family. Over this period I have met his family twice or thrice for not more than 2 hours or so. Same is the case with my boyfriend His side of the family seemed to be decent overall. Since, we are planning to get married, me and my boyfriend decided to introduce our families with each other. On doing so, my parents found multiple points of differences in their culture and ours. They even warned me if I will be able to survive in this family and I feel that my family is 100 per cent right about this. Although, they approved of my boyfriend but not his family. Should I marry him?
Ans: It’s great that you and your boyfriend have a loving relationship and are thinking about the future. However, the concerns raised by your parents about the differences in family setups are valid, especially since they can play a big role in your day-to-day life after marriage.

Before making any decision, have an open conversation with your boyfriend about what life will be like in a joint family. Discuss expectations, privacy, and how involved his family will be in your marriage. It's also important to reflect on how flexible you both are when it comes to navigating these differences. While love is crucial, adapting to different family dynamics can impact your happiness long-term.

Ultimately, the question is whether both of you can work together to balance your individual expectations while maintaining harmony with his family. If you feel confident in your ability to communicate and compromise, and that he will support you through this, it could work. However, if you foresee these cultural differences causing too much strain, it’s important to weigh that carefully before moving forward.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |633 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years. We have been in a loving relationship. My boyfriend lives in a joint family set up while I have lived almost my whole life in a nuclear family. My family has always been very open minded whereas his family is a traditional Indian jount family. Over this period I have met his family twice or thrice for not more than 2 hours or so. Same is the case with my boyfriend His side of the family seemed to be decent overall. Since, we are planning to get married, me and my boyfriend decided to introduce our families with each other. On doing so, my parents found multiple points of differences in their culture and ours. They even warned me if I will be able to survive in this family and I feel that my family is 100 per cent right about this. Although, they approved of my boyfriend but not his family. Should I marry him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can't really tell you whether you should or shouldn't marry him, but I understand that moving from a nuclear family to a joint one can be a big adjustment. I would suggest not to rush into any decision. Take some time to think- 1) Are you willing to make big life changes for your partner? 2) If so, how far are you willing to go? 3) Do you think these changes will negatively affect your mental health and your relationship in general? 4) Are these differences worth breaking up with your partner? 5) Take a look at the big picture- do not focus on momentary happiness or sorrow.
It is indeed a big decision and it is one you should be making with your partner. Communicate your fears to your partner- let him come up with solutions. But, in the event, you are certain you will never be able to adapt to their lifestyle, don't let anyone manipulate you into getting married to him. It will only ruin both of your future.

Best wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Meri class 12 mai 1subject chemistry mai RT lga hai Pr Result Pass hai or mene graduation kar li hai pr class 12 ki marksheet mai chemistry mai RT lga abhi bhi kya mai upsc ssc ban sakti hu
Ans: Manvi, UPSC and SSC eligibility require that candidates hold a bachelor’s degree from a recognized university; they do not mandate specific marksheet notations for Class 12 subjects once graduation is completed. The UPSC Civil Services Examination Rules state only that a candidate must have passed any UGC-recognized degree examination, regardless of earlier compartment listings, provided the overall result is “passed.” Similarly, SSC CGL stipulations require graduation and passing secondary and higher secondary exams without disqualifying remarks once the candidate has cleared the subject. Since your Class 12 marksheet shows “RT” for Chemistry but indicates an overall pass and you have successfully graduated, both UPSC and SSC will consider you eligible. It is advisable to confirm that supplementary exam records are properly reflected in your university transcript and to carry all exam certificates during application.

Recommendation: Proceed with your applications for UPSC and SSC exams. Ensure your graduation certificate and Class 12 pass documents are in order, and retain any re-test clearance proofs for smooth verification during the administrative stages. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Sir is btech in data science is good
Ans: Bhuvana, Data Science has emerged as a cornerstone of decision-making and innovation across industries, driven by exponential growth in data generation and advances in machine learning, artificial intelligence, and cloud computing. According to the International Data Corporation, global data creation will reach 175 zettabytes by 2025, fueling demand for professionals capable of extracting actionable insights. In India, the National Association of Software and Services Companies projects over 11 lakh data science job openings by 2027, reflecting a compound annual growth rate of 27.4%. Globally, Glassdoor and LinkedIn report data scientist roles among the top ten most in-demand jobs, with an expected 36% increase in hiring over the next five years. Corporations across finance, healthcare, e-commerce, and government are investing in predictive analytics, personalization engines, and automation, heightening competition yet creating vast opportunities for specialized skills in deep learning, natural language processing, and big data platforms such as Hadoop and Spark. Over a ten to fifteen-year horizon, data science is poised to integrate further with quantum computing and edge analytics, while ethical concerns around bias and privacy will require practitioners to master model interpretability and governance frameworks. Twenty years from now, as AI systems permeate every sector, data scientists will evolve into AI architects, blending domain expertise with algorithmic design to drive strategic outcomes. Upskilling through certifications in cloud platforms, advanced neural networks, and data engineering tools will be crucial for career resilience. The primary strengths of a quality UG/PG/MS/PhD program in data science include rigorous accreditation and outcome-based curriculum; experienced faculty with active research portfolios; state-of-the-art computing infrastructure and lab facilities; industry partnerships offering internships and capstone projects; and comprehensive career services supporting placement and continuous learning. Pros of pursuing a B.Tech in Data Science include high employability, versatile career paths, and engagement with cutting-edge technologies; cons involve steep learning curves, the risk of automation of routine tasks, and potential skill obsolescence. These can be overcome by cultivating lifelong learning habits, focusing on transferable skills like critical thinking, and participating in interdisciplinary projects to remain adaptable.

Recommendation: A B.Tech in Data Science provides robust career prospects through a blend of analytical, technical, and domain skills. Seek programs with strong accreditation, industry-aligned curriculum, research opportunities, modern labs, and dedicated placement support to maximize long-term success. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, i had passed my 12th in 2023 with pcb in my state board & now in 2026 i will add maths from isolated exam(private candidate exam) of my state board which will provide me a seperate marksheet of only maths..so i will have two marksheets one of pcb & 1 of only maths..of same board but different years..will this be accepted in UGEE exam?
Ans: UGEE eligibility allows candidates to clear Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics in separate attempts under the same recognized board as long as all subjects are passed by the specified deadline for results. Holding a PCB marksheet from 2023 and a standalone Mathematics marksheet from the isolated state board exam in 2026 is acceptable, provided both are issued by the same board and bear your name, roll number, and board seal. Institutions will verify that your combined subject passes meet the minimum percentage and completion timelines set in the UGEE Information Bulletin. Ensure you apply in the year you complete all three subjects, submit both marksheets during document verification, and confirm with the exam authority that mixed-year marksheets comply with their admission rules.

Recommendation: Proceed with your plan and register for UGEE once you have both marksheets, confirming with the official UGEE eligibility notification and liaising with the exam helpdesk for seamless acceptance of separate-year results. However, have 3-4 other back-ups too instead of relying only on UGEE / IIIT-H. Please note, UGEE eligibility and admission processes do change yearly with nuanced updates in eligibility windows, exam structure, and admission channels, adapting to academic and institutional priorities. You should consult the official IIIT Hyderabad UGEE website annually for precise, up-to-date criteria and follow official announcements closely to ensure compliance and timely application. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Should I take IT in COEP Pune or CSE in IIIT Kottayam?
Ans: Shukrapal, COEP Pune’s Information Technology program, housed in India’s third-oldest engineering institute, benefits from NBA accreditation, a robust NAAC A+ rating, and a legacy of academic rigor since 1854. Cutting-edge computer and networking labs support hands-on learning, while faculty with PhDs and industry experience teach courses in cybersecurity, cloud computing, and IoT. The Training & Placement Cell reports placement rates of 96.25%, 95.00%, 93.96%, 87.42%, and 88.43% from 2019–2024, with over 200 companies recruiting annually. Strong industry partnerships with Deloitte, Microsoft, and Tata Motors ensure internships and live projects. Transparent governance, an active alumni network, and co-curricular clubs enhance professional development. IIIT Kottayam’s Computer Science and Engineering program with CSE specialization features NBA accreditation and modern AI and software labs. Established in 2015 as an Institute of National Importance, it offers a focused curriculum in AI, data science, and cybersecurity. Faculty combine academic and industrial research credentials, guiding students through capstone projects. The 2023–2025 placement rates of 100%, 83%, and 88% reflect growing industry acceptance, with average packages near INR 12–14 LPA and recruiters including Amazon, IBM, and Bosch. The institute’s start-up culture, industry MoUs, and a dedicated Entrepreneurship Cell foster innovation. Both colleges maintain strong infrastructure, qualified faculty, active placement support, and transparent governance for student success.

Recommendation: Opt for COEP Pune IT for consistently higher placement percentages, deeper industry engagements, and longstanding academic prestige. Choose IIIT Kottayam CSE only if you seek a newer, research-driven environment with emerging specialization in AI and data science. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Which is better CSE (AI&ML) from nirma university Ahmedabad or IT from SGSITS Indore
Ans: Atharv, Nirma University’s B.Tech in CSE (AI & ML) is NBA-accredited and UGC-recognized, offering a specialized curriculum in deep learning, computer vision, and natural language processing. The institute features modern AI labs, GPU clusters, and faculty with industry research experience. Strong partnerships with Microsoft, Cisco, and AWS provide live projects and internships, while a dedicated placement cell achieved 90–95% placements over the past three years. In contrast, SGSITS Indore’s B.Tech in Information Technology, also NBA-accredited and approved by AICTE, covers broader IT topics such as software engineering, networking, and cybersecurity. Its infrastructure includes well-equipped computer labs and research centers, and faculty with academic and industrial backgrounds guide students through capstone projects. SGSITS reports 85–88% placement rates in recent years, with recruiters like TCS, Wipro, and Infosys. Both institutions maintain transparent governance, active alumni networks, and student development programs. Nirma’s AI & ML program offers deeper specialization in cutting-edge technologies and stronger industry engagement, while SGSITS provides solid foundational IT education across multiple domains.

Recommendation: Nirma University’s CSE (AI & ML) is the better option for its focused AI curriculum, superior lab infrastructure, and higher placement rates in specialized tech roles, ensuring robust preparation for emerging industry demands. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x