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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
shobha Question by shobha on Mar 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

my husband died when my son is12.5yrs. he was fond ofcricket and after my sons birth he trained him my son is now 15 he is spineer and play verywell. secondly after my son sbirth he always with my son because he left job and taken vrs. i m single mother now. my son didnot cry cry when he dead nor whenever i talked withhim he didnot want to discuss about him . he irritate. and never from his side he talked about his papa. why i didnot understand. and what to do so that he will talk about his papa. iknow he has verygood memories with him he alawys pamper my son when he was alive. suggest what to do

Ans: Dear Shobha,
I am truly sorry for your loss...Loss of a loved one is one of the toughest phases in anyone's life!
Also, you must understand that each of us have a different way of dealing and coping with loss. Your son possibly feels more comfortable masking his sadness and not talking about how much he misses having his father around. Since you say that he has good memories of his father, spend time with him not discussing his father but actually playing on those memories and keeping those happy memories alive. Since, they bonded over cricket, talk more about that with him and how his father would have been proud of him now. Someday, when he is ready to talk about his father, he will...give him time and replay the good times as a family and especially cricket with his father.
The only time you need to be concerned is when he starts to show any signs of withdrawal from life in general...since you haven't mentioned this, I assume that your son is fine and is just not willing to discuss his father. Let him be...each of us process grief differently. Just bond with him as a caring mother that you are...that will keep him safe and stable.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm a guest faculty working at a government educational institute. I have a son who will be 5 years on August 13. He is very active, smart and kind. Recently I have noticed him crying and scared of death- Thanatophobia. Every day in the evening he will start crying thinking the world will end. He will die or me and his Dad will die. I explained him quiet spiritually that no death can come shiva will protect us. But he is not satisfied. This particular behaviour of him has started since his school started. Is this separation anxiety. Please help me how do I make him lead a normal life as he used to be?
Ans:

Dear NS,

When did this exactly start after he started school?

It helps to go back to that point in time to when this first started to affect him.

Was there a death in the family? A movie that he watched? A story that was narrated to him? Someone in the school shared some content that is frightening?

It is unlikely that he might suddenly have this kind of a fearful reaction.

To assess if this is separation anxiety will require a detailed understanding of his situation.

Children that age as your son can extrapolate one story into another and weave a new story that might have never happened.

Their imagination can take on new dimensions. It will be worth the effort talking to his teachers and the school counsellor.

My suggestion to you is to gather all this information and go to a professional who can handle this.

Is this necessary? YES, as they are trained to deal with fears and panic.

This will help him release these unwanted feelings and breathe easy. Wait no longer.

Till then, surround him with much love and support him by reassuring him that his family loves him no matter what.

All the best!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm a guest faculty working at a government educational institute. I have a son who will be 5 years on August 13. He is very active, smart and kind. Recently I have noticed him crying and scared of death- Thanatophobia. Every day in the evening he will start crying thinking the world will end. He will die or me and his Dad will die. I explained him quiet spiritually that no death can come shiva will protect us. But he is not satisfied. This particular behaviour of him has started since his school started. Is this separation anxiety. Please help me how do I make him lead a normal life as he used to be?
Ans:

Dear NS,

When did this exactly start after he started school?

It helps to go back to that point in time to when this first started to affect him.

Was there a death in the family? A movie that he watched? A story that was narrated to him? Someone in the school shared some content that is frightening?

It is unlikely that he might suddenly have this kind of a fearful reaction.

To assess if this is separation anxiety will require a detailed understanding of his situation.

Children that age as your son can extrapolate one story into another and weave a new story that might have never happened.

Their imagination can take on new dimensions. It will be worth the effort talking to his teachers and the school counsellor.

My suggestion to you is to gather all this information and go to a professional who can handle this.

Is this necessary? YES, as they are trained to deal with fears and panic.

This will help him release these unwanted feelings and breathe easy. Wait no longer.

Till then, surround him with much love and support him by reassuring him that his family loves him no matter what.

All the best!

(more)
Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Health
Hello, I am Arvind aged 55, I have 2 kids, elder one is son ( age 26 yrs ) and is already in good job at IT sector in south India, Myself and my wife are raising our daughter who is 8 yrs younger to my son in North India. Our problem/Expectations: My son will not call any of us at his own, He hardly wants to share any part of his routine life, whats going on, untill we will ask him specifics. However, he prefers to just respond only when we initiate the call, txt etc. he would talk as much we asked in limited sentences, bare min txt like OK/Yes. Sometimes, many days would pass even without exchanging any call/txt/msgs- but it does not make him bother to know-hope everything is fine from his side. I mean we are not finding the warmth of son-parent relationship despite the fact that we are not keeping any expectation in terms of money, responsibilities etc. I have tried once/twice to explain that such behaviour hurts all of us. Do not know how to change such behaviour of ignorance, carelessness/avoidance. Pls advice.
Ans: Dear Arvind,
the most fantastic thing of having grown-up children is the world that they can show. Their world is the same as yours, just a different lens. Young adults when guilty shy away/keep to themselves/ or talk in few words. to bridge the conversations my suggestion is talking on neutral grounds. Both you and your child are viewing the world with different perspectives. A few questions that may start a conversation, on your next call, could be:
1.What is that fun app that I don’t have on my phone?
2. What music bands are you listening to these days?
3.Can you send me the link/ play me one of their best songs?
4.Who is your best friend right now? Which activity do you enjoy doing together?
5.Where would be an awesome place to go for a family vacation? Let me know your next break.
6.Did I ever tell you about how I met your (mother)?
Being a loving parent takes sacrifice, but he is an individual. sometimes inspite of being an adult he may not know how to bridge the gap. Do revert, I wish you and your family laughter and conversations.
(more)
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi, i have completed my masters in food technology and want to work as freelancers as a auditor in food industry could you guide how to go about doing.
Ans: Transitioning to freelance work as a food industry auditor can offer you flexibility and autonomy in your career. Evaluate your qualifications, experience, and skills in food technology, quality assurance, and auditing. Identify areas where you have expertise and experience that are valuable to potential clients in the food industry. Familiarize yourself with the requirements and standards for food auditing, including regulatory requirements, industry standards (such as ISO 22000, HACCP), and customer specifications. Understand the auditing process, documentation requirements, and audit protocols. Consider obtaining relevant certifications or training in food safety auditing, such as Certified Food Safety Auditor (CFSA), Lead Auditor Training, or other accredited programs. These credentials can enhance your credibility and qualifications as a freelancer. Network with professionals in the food industry, including food manufacturers, suppliers, distributors, and regulatory agencies. Attend industry conferences, seminars, and networking events to connect with potential clients and collaborators. Determine the specific services you will offer as a food industry auditor, such as food safety audits, quality management system audits, regulatory compliance assessments, or supplier audits. Identify your target market, including food manufacturers, processors, retailers, or food service providers. Develop a professional brand identity for your freelance auditing services, including a business name, logo, website, and marketing materials. Highlight your expertise, qualifications, and unique value proposition to attract potential clients. Determine your pricing structure based on factors such as the complexity of audits, scope of services, and industry standards. Establish clear policies regarding payment terms, project timelines, and confidentiality agreements to protect both your interests and those of your clients. Promote your freelance auditing services through online channels, social media platforms, industry forums, and professional associations. Create content related to food safety, quality assurance, and auditing best practices to showcase your expertise and attract potential clients. Cultivate relationships with potential clients by offering value-added services, such as training, consulting, or ongoing support. Build trust and credibility through transparent communication, professional conduct, and delivering high-quality audit reports and recommendations. Establish systems and processes for managing your freelance business, including client communication, project management, invoicing, and record-keeping. Prioritize time management and organization to balance your freelance work effectively. 

Keep learning, networking, and refining your approach to meet the needs of your clients and achieve your professional goals as a freelancer.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
I retired earlier now at 53. Invested 7L in ELSS and using 60L on short term equity trading (with monthly average gain 2L) and having own apartment home worth 40L. Having dependent widowed mother, wife with 13 yrs old daughter. Intended to raise daughter as doctor. Please suggest better investment options.
Ans: Congratulations on your early retirement! It sounds like you've made some good initial decisions, but there's definitely room for improvement to secure your family's future, especially considering your dependents. Here's how you can optimize your investments:

Reduce Risk in Short-Term Equity Trading:

While a ?2 lakh monthly gain from short-term trading sounds impressive, it's a very risky strategy. The market can be volatile, and these gains may not be sustainable. Consider allocating a much smaller portion (maybe 10-20%) to short-term trading and focus on more stable options for the majority of your investable assets (?60 lakh currently in trading).
Focus on Long-Term Growth and Stability:

Increase Investment in ELSS: ?7 lakh is a good start, but for your daughter's education and your retirement needs, you'll likely need a much larger corpus. Consider increasing your SIP amount in ELSS or similar diversified equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon (10+ years).
Explore Debt Options for Regular Income:

You mentioned having a dependent mother and daughter's education to plan for. Consider investing a portion (maybe 20-30%) of your investable amount in safer debt options like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) for your mother (if she's above 60), or fixed deposits to generate a regular income stream.
Plan for Daughter's Education:

Doctorate studies can be expensive. Start an SIP in a dedicated child education plan or invest in aggressive equity funds specifically for this goal. Talk to a Certfied Financial Planner for personalized recommendations based on the estimated cost of medical education.
Utilize Your Apartment:

While your apartment fulfills your housing needs, consider if it could generate additional income. Explore options like renting a room if feasible.
Seek Professional Guidance:

Given your multiple financial goals and risk tolerance, consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be highly beneficial. They can create a personalized investment plan considering your risk appetite, time horizon, and financial goals.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir My age is 34 yrs. I have working alredy 10 yrs and my average total income till date 40L minimum. Still I did not save 1rs till now. Request you please advice how to start savings also make future retirement plan. My expected retirement age is 55yrs.
Ans: It's never too late to start saving for retirement, and kudos to you for taking this important step at 34! Here's how to get on track:

1. Assess your situation:

Track your expenses: For a month, track where your money goes. This will help identify areas to cut back and free up savings.
Emergency fund: Aim for 3-6 months of living expenses in an easily accessible savings account for emergencies.
2. Start saving:

Automated savings: Set up a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in a mutual fund. Start small, even with ?1,000 per month, and gradually increase as you get comfortable.
3. Retirement plan:

Employer benefits: Check if your employer offers a retirement plan like a Provident Fund (PF). Contribute the maximum allowed for tax benefits and long-term savings.
Individual options: Explore options like National Pension System (NPS) or Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for long-term growth. Talk to a Registered Investment Advisor (RIA) for personalized advice based on your risk tolerance and goals.
Here's a breakdown based on your income:

You mentioned an average annual income of ?40 lakhs. Aim to save at least 10-15% of your income, which translates to ?4,000-?6,000 per month.
Remember: Consistency is key! Starting early, even with a small amount, allows time for your savings to grow through the power of compounding. Don't be discouraged if you can't save a lot initially. Every little bit counts!
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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