Hii, I am Jahanara Moral, Working in a private company almost 8 yrs and Pursuing my B.Arch last year, I am 28 years old, now I am stuck in my career and marriage. What should I do, Looking for a partner or focused on career??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is unfortunate that you had to go through what you have.
It is also understandable why you would feel unsteady and unwilling to trust the process again...
But, let it not rob you of opportunities of exploring a new connection and this will be possible only if you allow yourself to trust...
Because if you don't, you will end up sinking into work to distract yourself. This is unhealthy as it will lead to loneliness and despair. You surely wouldn't want that, would you?
Allow yourself to Let Go...It takes a lot to do that but once you do, it will open your eyes to numerous possibilities. Having said that, do this when you ready...it maybe now, next year or whenever BUT tell yourself that someday you are willing to open your heart to a possibility of a connection. This thought will keep you feeling safe and happier. This will also help you face your job pressures better as all areas of our lives are all linked to one another.

All the best!

Ans: Hi Sachin,

I understand that dating can sometimes be very frustrating. You have every right to start wondering whether it will work or not. Since you have already tried dating apps and even had a positive experience, I would ask you to recognize that as a win first. Second, let me share some tips with you that might help you find the right kind of matches:

- Write a detailed and attractive Bio. What should it include? 40% about yourself- your education, your quirks and habits, likes and preferences, and everything that makes you you. 10% about what you can offer as a partner. 10% about the type of relationship you want. Do you want to date exclusively, or are you looking for casual? Are you looking to get married or long-term dating? Mention it clearly to attract the right matches. The remaining 40% should be about the kind of person you want to date. Your idea of a perfect partner. It would save you a lot of time and energy on the relationships that start strong but eventually fizzle out.

- The display picture can play an important role. Always pick a recent and clear image to never mislead anyone. Choose an image that shows you in your element, preferably smiling because that makes you seem warm and welcoming. Refrain from over-editing.

- Another important step is the first message. Write a detailed and personalized first message instead of a Hi.

Other than this, I would ask you to have patience. Regardless of the mode of dating, finding the right partner can take time in certain instances. Good things take time.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Life and it's highs and lows are what makes us, breaks us and then makes us back again.
It is okay to be confused BUT it is not okay to wander about without making a decision which only leads to believe that life is hard.
What are the things that you have been wandering about?
- Marriage or being in a relationship
- Becoming financially independent
- Putting your degree to good use
- Stepping beyond home and family to create a life

Now, you have begun to think of it and maybe it frustrates you that it's too late. But better now than never...
Push your boundaries and first do something that can give you a WIN. That will boost you to take on challenges in every area of your life that you have possibly been avoiding.
No life or nothing is created or built without challenges.

The key question for you is: Have I been avoiding failure which is the reason for me to wander and not make a few decisions that would have helped me?
Start somewhere and a WIN in an area that you have control over, is what I suggest you start at...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/