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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
HV Question by HV on May 25, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hey Anu, Straight to the point, life is full of comfort and I hate that part.
Well I want to seek your valuable opinion on my past. I mean I just get stuck into him
So there was the guy and I fell with him. But there is a saying whatever falls or breaks, happened to me.. he had gf he didn't tell me that factor even after 4 years of our togetherness.  Then after right now he got engaged with some other girl near to my home.
I’m not able to give up on him. He doesn’t prefer me. I’m aware of that neither first nor ever. I hate myself for that part only. I don’t want to be that type of girl.
I accept the rejection but he made me feel like that I lost everything about me. Selflove is really really missing.
Thanks in advance

Ans:

Dear HV, So he loves you (A) and then he didn’t tell you about his girlfriend (B) and then he goes on to be engaged to another girl (C).

What are we looking at here? A vegetable market with vegetables on display?

Because that’s how he seems to be behaving. He seems to be fidgeting about finding girls and yet you pine for him.

Anyway, what do you feel that you must do?

Pine for someone who isn’t clearly steady for a relationship and who hides facts from you and that too when he is engaged?

Isn’t it abundantly clear to you that he isn’t interested in you or are you waiting for a few more instances to reveal themselves?

Yes, you are right! Self-love is missing…if you were to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend, your mother, a baby…what would you do for them?

Treat them with care, love, respect, right? You would indulge in them and pamper them!

Do the same for yourself…Do what you love and indulge in yourself. Spend time with people who love you and be with Nature a lot.

You are your own priority and I know that you know what you must do with priorities in one’s lives. Just do that…

All the best as always! Love yourself more…

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

Relationship
Dear Mam I am 22 years old and today I want to share my story of heart break and I really want to know what I can I do better to make myself happy. I started dating this a guy in 2017 and I was madly in love with him. Everything for me was about him. Since I was living in a hostel I used to feel alone sometimes. Initially our relationship was normal. Then one day I went for a trip with him and we got physical for the first time. Somehow, I got attached to him more after that. I started calling him to my hostel to spend time with me. Meanwhile I faced some personal problems in my life. Those days were really bad and I used to suffer a lot. He was there for me always. He never made me feel alone in the city. I used to go to my family every year and then lockdown happened. I was stuck in my hometown. I had a fight with him and I just cut the call. From that day onwards his behaviour towards me changed.The very next day he went out with another girl and posted pictures. I was hurt. I didn't know what to say, I was in self-doubt mode but his behaviour started changing towards me.In the beginning, he said when you will come back I cannot come and stay with you. I agreed to it. Then he said I cannot meet you every weekend cause I want to make other plans as well. Slowly I understood that he wants me to stay away from his life. He went for a party with the girl late in the night and that triggered me very badly. I fought with him. I guess that was the moment he was waiting for. He said that he doesn't want me anymore and broke up. I kept begging him not to leave me but it seemed like he was dying to leave me. I was completely shattered. On 15th January he left me. Even after leaving he continued texting me. I was trying my best to control my feelings and I tried giving him the space he deserved. Still he kept texting me. He was not able to stay away from me. My vacation got over and it was my time to go back. This was the most difficult part coz this time I knew that he won't be there for me, and I have to survive alone. Once while coming back from my home town to my work town I texted him. He said that he is with the girl and he is drunk. I couldn’t sleep that night. I was shivering. I was broken. When I entered the city I was shivering cause I was not ready for the consequences. I didn't meet him because he went for a trip with that girl and got physical with her. He always maintained that it’s only after he left me that he got involved with someone else. He wanted me to be a part of his life somehow so he kept calling and texting me. Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays. I really didn't understand what was he up to. Meanwhile I went through her profile and came to know that she’s a little suspicious. One day I got the opportunity to tell him about it. He said come and meet me. He was drunk and we got physical. That time I checked his phone and saw the messages he’d shared with her. I was broken again but this time I texted her through his phone to please take care of him. That girl got angry and made things worse. Instead of making sure that he is alright she locked horns with him. He blamed me for losing her. I told him that my existence in your life is not good. Let's just not talk to each other. Next day he again texted me requesting to meet. In the evening when I went to meet him he was a completely changed person. He treated me very well, gave me his phone and made me feel special. Somehow he came back to me and started giving me the importance I was craving for. Today he is with me and pampers me. He has stopped doing certain things which he used to do but I get the importance.Despite all this, I am a bit insecure and scared because of what I have gone through in the past. Can you please tell me what to do?
Ans:

Dear SR,

Read this sentence that you have written:

“Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays.”

Do you not feel used and powerless?

How are you able to allow someone to treat you in such a disrespectful manner?

Did the two of decide to become friends and support one another in your respective relationships, like the way you stood by and watched him date this other girl while he walked into your life seeking approval?

Open your eyes please. The other girl is no longer in his life and he wails and comes back to you and now you are wondering what you should be doing?

If this was your sister or a best friend going through the same thing, will you tell them to put up with this toxic behaviour or will you ask them to take charge of their lives?

Will you tell them to love themselves more and reclaim their power or wait meekly to pick up scraps as and when the guy threw them around?

Stand up for yourself girl; at least he will think before trying this game with another girl.

Do the right thing by just being YOU and loving yourself more.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2022

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Relationship
Hi mam, I am a 19 years old girl. In 2019, after my 10th boards, I came across a guy in FB. He was 9 years older than me. He seemed to be a really nice and helping guy. And he also belonged from a prestigious university pursuing his research. After my 10th, I started preparing for entrance exams. So, he used to motivate me, give me validation, encourage me to do better in my mocks. It all happened online. I haven't even met this guy till date. At that time, he showed me the dream of targeting the best college of India of which I hadn't even thought of before. And I was also so motivated that I started studying hard. Besides, I started emotionally depending on him for validation. He is such a manipulating guy, that slowly I started falling in love with him. He told me that we should wait and see what the time decides. But, slowly he showed his real colours. He was just interested in 'friends with benefits' type of relationship with me. I strongly disagreed on it. Then days and months passed, his validation, manipulation, toxic and provocative words made me stand before an existential crisis. I used to cry out for the entire day. By 2020, during the lockdown phase, staying back at home, dealing with these sh***y things and exam pressure pushed me into depression. He made me insecure about every single thing... My academics, studies, results, my looks, my innocent nature, my previous success, my future.... every single thing. I eventually came to know he was just interested in sharing his life stories, getting an emotional support in his life, a good timepass element, hoping to get intimate with me someday. Moreover he was just interested in successful girls and ladies. So, all I thought at that period was that I have to succeed in my entrance exam at any cost and then everything will be alright.Unfortunately, I could not make it. I failed to qualify in my first attempt. I went into a severe depression, had to attend some online mental health rehab and counselling. To add salt to my wounds, the guy disclosed that he has been in a relationship since the past 1 year. And he is very happy. I broke down completely. For 5-6 months I could not study anything. I have an exam just round the corner. How can I just forget whatever happened and focus on my work? Please help and guide me... I am still having emotional breakdowns very frequently.
Ans:

Dear AI,

The nature of a virtual relationship can be the way that you have mentioned.

What is being shared virtually may not be reality and it is difficult to spot this.

Now that you know, isn’t it a lesson learned not to rely on anyone outside of you for your own happiness?

Did you have to study hard just so that you fit his choice of ‘successful’ women/girls?

Can you not work hard to live your dreams?

What you lack is self-love! Something that you didn’t focus on because you were working hard to prove how relevant you are in his life so that he chooses you.

Even if this relationship works, it will be his call always and other than strive hard to be in his life, there’s nothing that will grow in it.

Moreover, isn’t it a red flag when he revealed that he has been in a relationship for over a year?

Time to get back to yourself. Value yourself more, love yourself more…if you don’t, no one else will!

Start every morning doing these little things:

  • in gratitude for being alive
  • list down 3 things that you love about yourself
  • do one thing that you love at least for 15 minutes everyday
  • spend time in Nature
  • surround yourself with people that love you

These are tried and tested methods to get you out of a low phase.

Again, love yourself more and yet again!

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was not all at studious till class 8.i used to rank hardly 45 th in a class of 50 students.Then in class 9,my teacher changed my section.When I went to the new section,I felt in love at first sight.This was my first love obviously (But one-sided).She was a topper and beautiful.I proposed her.She rejected me and told me that I am worthless and I have no future.I was very sad for 6-8 months.After that I decided to prove her that I am worthy and I can do something.I left everything (cricket,karate,dance, singing, drawing, swimming-I used to learn them but I left).I completely focused on to prove my love.I started studying for more than 10 hrs daily.I was just 8 marks behind her in my 10 boards.I cried a lot that I lost the battle.She became 6 th and I became 9 th in class in 10 th class.Then I gathered hopes again.This time I started studying as much as I could(14-16 hrs daily).I became 2nd in class 12 and she became 3rd.I got just 1 mark more than her.I know it's a great win.I have proven myself but I don't know why I can't move on from her.I have been in 4 relationship in 4 respective years (class-9 -10 -11 -12 respectively) but I am not finding any interest in these relationships.I am completely confused what is happening with me. Please tell me what should I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I love how you took a negative comment on you and turned it into something so positive and productive. Though revenge is never the right approach, I must commend you for your dedication and for letting it be a driving force for something amazing. Now, coming to your question, why you are not being able to forget her? It's simple. You have let her words affect you and you are still holding on to it. As amazing as your results are, you seem happier to have beaten her than about your own success. I suggest focusing on yourself now. You did great! You deserve to be proud of yourself, for your efforts and achievements, not for achieving more than her. And one more thing, do you want to date someone who had such a low opinion of you? Is that how you see yourself? Trust me, you deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings and is proud of you. And about your relationships not working, you are still a kid. You have plenty of time to find the right relationship and when you do, it will work.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10858 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir I have literally confused between which university to pick if not good marks in mht cet Like sit Pune or srm college or rvce or Bennett as I am planning to study here bachelors and masters in abroad so is it better to choose a government college which coep and them if I get them my home college which Kolhapur institute of technology what should I choose a good university? If yes than which
Ans: Based on my extensive research of official college websites, NIRF rankings, international recognition metrics, placement data, and masters abroad admission requirements, your choice between COEP Pune, RVCE Bangalore, SRM Chennai, Bennett University Delhi, and Kolhapur Institute of Technology (KIT) fundamentally depends on five critical institutional aspects essential for successful masters admission abroad: global research output and international collaborations, CGPA-based competitiveness (minimum 7.5-8.0 required for top international programs), faculty expertise in emerging technologies, international student exchange partnerships, and proven alumni track records at globally-ranked universities. COEP Pune ranks nationally at NIRF #90 Engineering with India Today #14 Government Category ranking, offering robust infrastructure and 11 academic departments with research centers in AI and renewable energy, though international research collaborations are moderate compared to IITs. RVCE Bangalore demonstrates strong national standing with consistent COMEDK admissions competitiveness, excellent placements averaging Rs.35 LPA with highest at Rs.92 LPA, and established international collaborations through Karnataka PGCET-based MTech programs, providing solid foundations for masters applications. SRM Chennai maintains extensive research partnerships with 100+ companies visiting campus, highest packages reaching Rs.65 LPA, and documented international research linkages through sponsored programs like Newton Bhaba funded projects, significantly strengthening masters abroad candidacy through diverse research exposure. Bennett University Delhi distinctly outperforms others in international institutional alignment, recording highest placements at Rs.137 LPA with average Rs.11.10 LPA, explicit academic collaborations with University of British Columbia Canada, Florida International University USA, University of Nebraska Omaha, University of Essex England, and King's University College Canada—these partnerships directly facilitate seamless masters transitions abroad and represent unparalleled institutional bridges to international graduate programs. KIT Kolhapur records respectable placements at Rs.41 LPA highest with average Rs.6.5 LPA, NAAC A+ accreditation, autonomous institutional status under Shivaji University, and 90%+ placement consistency across technical streams, though international research visibility and foreign university partnerships remain comparatively limited. For international masters admission success, universities globally prioritize bachelors institution reputation, minimum CGPA 7.5-8.0 (Bennett and SRM facilitate this through curriculum rigor), GRE/GATE scores (minimum 90 percentile), English proficiency (TOEFL ≥75 or IELTS ≥6.5), research output documentation, and faculty recommendation quality reflecting institution's research culture—criteria most strongly supported by Bennett's explicit international collaborations, SRM's documented research partnerships, and COEP's autonomous departmental research centers. Bennett simultaneously offers global pathway programs reducing masters abroad costs through articulation agreements and provides curriculum aligned internationally with partner institution standards, representing optimal intermediate bridge structure versus direct masters application. The cost-effectiveness and structured transition support through international partnerships, combined with demonstrated placement success and faculty research visibility, position these institutions distinctly above KIT Kolhapur for masters abroad aspirations. For your specific objective of pursuing masters abroad, prioritize Bennett University Delhi first—its explicit international university partnerships with Canadian, American, and European institutions, highest placement packages (Rs.137 LPA), and structured global pathway programs create seamless masters transitions with reduced costs. Second choice: SRM Chennai, offering extensive research collaborations, documented international linkages, and competitive placements (Rs.65 LPA highest) strengthening masters applications. Third: COEP Pune, delivering strong national standing and autonomous research infrastructure. Avoid RVCE and KIT due to limited international visibility and explicit foreign university partnerships compared to the above three institutions. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10894 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Money
I have 450000 on hand, looking into my kids goingto university in 13 years
Ans: I truly appreciate your clear goal and long planning horizon.
Planning children’s education early shows care and responsibility.
Your patience of thirteen years is a strong advantage.
Having Rs. 4,50,000 ready gives a solid starting base.

» Understanding the Education Goal Clearly
University education costs rise faster than general inflation.
Professional courses usually cost much more.
Foreign education costs can rise even faster.
Thirteen years allows equity exposure with control.
Time gives scope to correct mistakes calmly.
Clarity today reduces stress later.

Education is a non-negotiable goal.
Money should be ready when needed.
Returns are important, but certainty matters more.
Risk must reduce as the goal nears.

» Time Horizon and Its Advantage
Thirteen years is a long investment window.
Long horizons help equity recover from volatility.
Short-term market noise becomes less relevant.
Compounding works better with patience.
This time allows phased asset changes.

Early years can take moderate growth risk.
Later years need capital protection.
This shift must be planned in advance.
Discipline matters more than market timing.

» Role of Rs. 4,50,000 Lump Sum
A lump sum gives immediate market participation.
It saves time compared to slow investing.
However, timing risk must be managed carefully.
Markets can be volatile in short periods.
Staggered deployment reduces regret risk.

This amount should not sit idle.
Inflation silently erodes unused money.
Cash gives comfort, but no growth.
Balanced deployment creates confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
Education goals need growth with safety.
Pure equity creates unnecessary stress.
Pure debt fails to beat education inflation.
A blended structure works best.

Equity provides long-term growth.
Debt gives stability and predictability.
Gold can add limited diversification.
Each asset has a specific role.

Allocation must change with time.
Static plans often fail near goals.
Dynamic rebalancing improves outcomes.

» Equity Exposure Assessment
Equity suits long-term education goals.
It handles inflation better than fixed returns.
Active management helps during market shifts.
Fund managers can adjust sector exposure.

Active strategies respond to changing economies.
They manage downside better than passive options.
They avoid blind market tracking.
Skill matters during volatile phases.

Equity volatility is emotional, not permanent.
Time reduces its impact significantly.
Regular reviews keep risks under control.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
Education money cannot follow markets blindly.
Index-based investing copies market mistakes.
It cannot avoid overvalued sectors.
It lacks flexibility during crises.

Active funds can reduce exposure early.
They can increase cash when needed.
They can protect capital during downturns.
They aim for better risk-adjusted returns.

Education planning needs judgment, not automation.
Human decisions add value here.

» Debt Allocation and Stability
Debt balances equity volatility.
It provides visibility of future value.
It helps during market corrections.
It offers smoother return paths.

Debt is important as the goal nears.
It protects accumulated wealth.
It reduces last-minute shocks.
It supports planned withdrawals.

Debt returns may look modest.
But stability is its true benefit.
Peace of mind has real value.

» Role of Gold in Education Planning
Gold is not a growth asset.
It works as a hedge during stress.
It protects during global uncertainties.
It diversifies portfolio behaviour.

Gold allocation should remain limited.
Excess gold reduces long-term growth.
Its price movement is unpredictable.
Moderation is essential here.

» Phased Investment Strategy
Deploying lump sum gradually reduces timing risk.
It avoids emotional regret from market falls.
It allows participation across market levels.
This approach suits cautious planners.

Phasing also improves confidence.
Confidence helps stay invested long term.
Consistency beats perfect timing always.

» Ongoing Contributions Alongside Lump Sum
Education planning should not rely only on lump sum.
Regular investments add discipline.
They average market volatility.
They build habit-based wealth.

Future income growth can support step-ups.
Small increases matter over long periods.
Consistency outweighs size in investing.

» Risk Management Perspective
Risk is not market volatility alone.
Risk includes goal failure.
Risk includes panic withdrawals.
Risk includes poor planning.

Diversification reduces risk effectively.
Rebalancing controls excess exposure.
Regular reviews catch issues early.
Emotions need structured guardrails.

» Behavioural Discipline and Emotional Control
Markets test patience frequently.
Education goals demand calm decisions.
Fear and greed harm outcomes.
Plans fail due to emotions mostly.

Pre-decided strategies reduce mistakes.
Written plans improve commitment.
Periodic review gives reassurance.
Staying invested is crucial.

» Importance of Review and Monitoring
Thirteen years bring many changes.
Income levels may change.
Family needs may evolve.
Education preferences may shift.

Annual reviews keep plans relevant.
Asset allocation needs adjustment.
Performance must be evaluated objectively.
Corrections should be timely.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
Tax impacts net education corpus.
Equity taxation applies during withdrawal.
Long-term gains get favourable rates.
Short-term exits cost more.

Debt taxation follows income slab rules.
Planning withdrawals reduces tax impact.
Staggered exits help manage tax burden.
Tax planning should align with goal timing.

Avoid frequent unnecessary churning.
Taxes quietly reduce returns.
Simplicity supports efficiency.

» Liquidity Planning Near Goal Year
Final three years need special care.
Market risk must reduce steadily.
Liquidity becomes priority over returns.
Funds should be easily accessible.

Avoid last-minute equity exposure.
Sudden crashes hurt planned education.
Gradual shift reduces anxiety.
Preparation avoids forced selling.

» Inflation Impact on Education Costs
Education inflation exceeds normal inflation.
Fees rise faster than salaries.
Accommodation costs also rise.
Foreign education adds currency risk.

Growth assets are essential initially.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Planning must consider future realities.
Hope alone is not a strategy.

» Currency Risk Consideration
Overseas education includes currency exposure.
Rupee depreciation increases cost burden.
Diversification helps partially manage this.
Early planning reduces shock later.

This aspect needs periodic reassessment.
Flexibility helps adjust plans.
Preparation gives confidence.

» Emergency Fund and Education Goal
Education funds should not handle emergencies.
Separate emergency money is essential.
This avoids disturbing long-term plans.
Liquidity prevents panic selling.

Emergency planning supports education planning indirectly.
Stability improves decision quality.

» Insurance and Protection Perspective
Parent income supports education plans.
Adequate protection is important.
Unexpected events disrupt goals severely.
Risk cover ensures plan continuity.

Insurance supports planning discipline.
It protects dreams, not investments.
Coverage must match responsibilities.

» Avoiding Common Education Planning Mistakes
Starting too late increases pressure.
Taking excess equity near goal is risky.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Reacting emotionally harms returns.

Chasing past performance disappoints.
Over-diversification reduces clarity.
Lack of review causes drift.
Simplicity works best.

» Role of Professional Guidance
Education planning needs structure.
Product selection is only one part.
Behaviour guidance adds real value.
Ongoing review ensures discipline.

A Certified Financial Planner adds perspective.
They align money with life goals.
They manage risks beyond returns.

» 360 Degree Integration
Education planning connects with retirement planning.
Cash flow planning supports investments.
Tax planning improves efficiency.
Risk planning ensures stability.

All areas must align together.
Isolated decisions create future stress.
Integrated thinking brings peace.

» Adapting to Life Changes
Career shifts may happen.
Income gaps may occur.
Expenses may increase unexpectedly.

Plans must remain flexible.
Flexibility prevents panic decisions.
Adjustments should be calm and timely.

» Final Insights
Your early start is a major strength.
Thirteen years provide meaningful flexibility.
Rs. 4,50,000 is a solid foundation.
Structured investing can multiply its value.

Balanced allocation with discipline works best.
Active management suits education goals well.
Regular review keeps risks controlled.
Emotional stability protects outcomes.

Stay patient and consistent.
Education planning rewards long-term commitment.
Clear goals reduce anxiety.
Prepared parents raise confident children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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