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Engineering student with a crush: How to overcome shyness and approach a girl?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |715 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello. I just started engineering about 3 weeks ago (1st year BTech). Till 12th, I was in a boys school. But now as I am in college, I found a girl with whom I am in deep crush. But I feel very shy to talk with girls. Sometimes, I feel that the feeling which I have for her, she might not have the same for me. I don't understand how to approach her. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's great that you have found someone you admire. I understand the challenges of approaching your crush. Here is what I suggest- start with a smile and a hi. Then, instead of beating around the bush, ask her if she would like to go out with you for a cup of coffee. It doesn't have to be a "date" date. Just an outing, where two consenting adults sip on coffee and discuss life. Your direct approach should impress her and show you off as a person who can take charge of things. If you ask her out directly, you can also figure out whether she reciprocates your feelings or not.

Best Wishes.

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Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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