Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Engineering student with a crush: How to overcome shyness and approach a girl?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello. I just started engineering about 3 weeks ago (1st year BTech). Till 12th, I was in a boys school. But now as I am in college, I found a girl with whom I am in deep crush. But I feel very shy to talk with girls. Sometimes, I feel that the feeling which I have for her, she might not have the same for me. I don't understand how to approach her. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's great that you have found someone you admire. I understand the challenges of approaching your crush. Here is what I suggest- start with a smile and a hi. Then, instead of beating around the bush, ask her if she would like to go out with you for a cup of coffee. It doesn't have to be a "date" date. Just an outing, where two consenting adults sip on coffee and discuss life. Your direct approach should impress her and show you off as a person who can take charge of things. If you ask her out directly, you can also figure out whether she reciprocates your feelings or not.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8328 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Money
Sir, we had a dispute in our ancestral property we approached the court and the verdict said we are entitled to a portion of the property The dispute was the land was sold without our knowledge etc., after getting the verdict we got patta, registration in our name. Now we are planning to sell the land, a lawyer said get a ratification deed, I don't know what it is and also weather it is needed or not. The lawyer called us and said the the other party who has purchased the land illegally is not agreeing to sign and is asking money to settle the matter as he has purchased the land. Even after receiving court orders this kind of dodging is happening. The amount of money he is asking is senseless, even if I sell the land I wouldn't get that much amount, I am unable to put in writing many other problems kindly advise what next steps to take. also let me know what are all the documents to have as a owner. Thank you
Ans: You have taken rightful steps. Court verdict is in your favour. That shows your legal ground is strong.

But still, the other party is asking for money. That too, an unfair amount. You also mentioned a lawyer suggested getting a ratification deed. Let us try to understand the full situation and assess all possible options. We will also cover what documents are needed to prove your ownership.

This reply gives you a 360-degree view. It will help you make a sound and confident decision.

Understanding Your Current Legal Standing
You said the land was sold without your knowledge. That makes the original sale illegal. The court has agreed with you. That is a key win for you.

You now have patta and registration in your name. These are strong documents. They show you have legal title.

Based on this, you are now the legal owner. That means you have the full right to sell the land. But the buyer must also be confident. So legal clarity is very important.

What Is a Ratification Deed?
A ratification deed is a It confirms a past act done without proper authority. The current party gives approval to that act.

In your case, it seems the buyer who bought the land earlier is being asked to “ratify” that sale. That is, to agree that you are the rightful owner now.

This is not a mandatory document by law. But it is sometimes used to make the title stronger. Some buyers or their banks ask for it.

However, since the court has already ruled in your favour, you may not legally need it. You already have the stronger claim.

Why Is the Buyer Still Causing Issues?
The person who bought the land earlier might feel he lost money. He may think the sale to him was legal. But since the court disagreed, he now holds no right.

His demand for money is unjust. It is a pressure tactic. He is trying to recover his loss by troubling you.

You are not legally required to pay him. He has no power to stop your sale.

Assessing Options Now
You can now evaluate your next steps from three angles – legal, practical, and financial.

Legal Options
Talk to your lawyer again. Ask: is a ratification deed mandatory in your case?

Get a written legal opinion. This should clearly mention your rights and position.

File a complaint if the other party is threatening you or asking money.

Send a legal notice through your lawyer to that person. Mention that he has no right now.

Practical Options
Try selling to a buyer who trusts the court order. Show them all documents.

Explain clearly that title is clean. Show the judgment, patta, and registration.

Use a reputed real estate lawyer for the sale. That gives buyers more confidence.

Financial Assessment
Do not agree to pay huge amounts. It may cause loss for you.

If needed, consider a small settlement. But only after full legal review. And only if it makes the sale smooth and quick.

Ask yourself: Even if I settle, will the person agree to give in writing? If not, don’t pay.

Must-Have Documents to Sell the Land
As a rightful owner, you must hold the following papers:

Patta in your name (this is land ownership proof)

Registered sale deed or title deed (issued after the court judgment)

Copy of the court verdict

Encumbrance Certificate (EC) (shows your name as the current legal holder)

Legal heir certificate, if you inherited the land

Property tax receipts in your name

Aadhar and PAN card copies

Suggested Steps to Make Sale Smooth
Get a detailed Title Certificate from a lawyer. It should mention the court case and outcome.

Keep a summary note ready. It should explain how you became owner.

Ensure name match across all your documents.

Keep a certified copy of court order with you at all times.

Use a reputed property consultant or broker only if needed. Prefer buyers who are local and familiar with such cases.

Emotional and Mental Pressure
You also mentioned you are facing many other issues. That is understandable. Land disputes take a heavy toll on health and peace of mind.

Please do not worry. You already have legal strength.

You have cleared a big milestone by getting the court’s support.

Don’t allow fear or threats to stop you.

Stay strong. Keep family informed. Talk regularly with your lawyer.

How Certified Financial Planner Can Help
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide you better with your sale proceeds.

If you plan to sell, prepare a written cash flow plan.

Think about your family’s short-term and long-term needs.

Keep emergency funds aside. Don’t invest all money at once.

Mutual funds managed by professional advisors can be considered. They offer long-term wealth building.

What Not To Do
Do not deal in cash. Always use cheque or bank transfer.

Do not sign any paper without lawyer check.

Do not get emotionally disturbed by their false threats.

Do not delay your next steps due to confusion or fear.

Finally
You have shown good courage. You followed the legal process. You now own the land as per law.

The other party is only trying to misuse your fear. Do not fall for it.

If the buyer still refuses to cooperate, avoid them. Choose another buyer.

If a ratification deed is insisted by your new buyer, ask your lawyer: Is it really needed?

If not needed, move ahead without it.

If needed, try again to convince the other person. If they demand unreasonable money, don’t agree.

Let your lawyer send notice. You can also explore police help if needed.

Always work with proper documents. Keep everything in writing.

Keep calm and move forward. With legal support and proper documents, you will win.

If you need help with managing the money after sale, we can help with a long-term financial plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x