Shy Engineering Student Seeks Advice on Approaching Crush in College

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it can be challenging to shift from an all-boys setup to a coed suddenly. And I am glad that you found someone you like, but first, it is important to understand whether she feels the same about you, or else approaching her might not be taken in the right way. The best thing to do here is to let her know that you have a crush on her and if she would be interested in going out for a cup of coffee or something with you. Make sure to communicate that it wouldn't be as "just friends," but rather as two people open to exploring if there are possibilities of becoming more than friends. If she says yes, there you go. If she seems uninterested, it's best to leave her be. After all a No is a No; it does not mean "convince me some more."

Directly going up to her and expressing your desire to take her out on a date might show her that you are mature and do not like to beat around the bush; also, you prioritize consent because you are asking her instead of assuming. Hope things work out for you.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Prinve,
If she hasn't shown any visible disinterest in you, you can be direct with her. Let her know that you like her and ask if she is interested in going out with you- that's the best way to approach someone you like. If she seems interested, then take it ahead. If not, do not try to convince.
I hope things work out for you.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's great that you have found someone you admire. I understand the challenges of approaching your crush. Here is what I suggest- start with a smile and a hi. Then, instead of beating around the bush, ask her if she would like to go out with you for a cup of coffee. It doesn't have to be a "date" date. Just an outing, where two consenting adults sip on coffee and discuss life. Your direct approach should impress her and show you off as a person who can take charge of things. If you ask her out directly, you can also figure out whether she reciprocates your feelings or not.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What you are experiencing may or may not be a crush...It's just the feeling of being able to be around girls for the first time. There is no need to jump at the very first instance. Take your time and actually start by being friends with girls and boys as well. Socially start to gain acceptance within yourself for who you are before playing into these feelings. One step at a time...the larger your friend circle, the easier it gets to actually stepping into unknown and unfamiliar zones.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.