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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1330 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello, I am married for the last 15 years with 2 kids. All though for entire period of this 15 years has been a roller coaster in the relationship, All of a sudden since the last 7 months the relationship has detoriated with my wife sleeping with the kids, not talking to me, cutting my social circles. Have tried talking to her directly and through some common links, but she does not talk & infact has cut all the channels. i have tried being home all the time and do all the house hold cores, take care of the children, but no impact on her. She is a deperession patient and refuses to consult the doctor. I feel i had enough and want to look options for seperation. Kindly advise

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's unfortunate that you have waited this long to take note of how your relationship has been deteriorating. Also, has your wife been clinically diagnosed as having depression? If not, please don't assume as it will pose an issue while working on your marriage.
Seek the help of a marriage therapist who can guide the two of you back into rebuilding the marriage. Sleeping separately is a huge signal that she has cut off physically and emotionally from you and there could be numerous reasons along the way for it./ Don't delay seeing a professional and take this step not to get into a blame game situation but to actually work on your marriage. Make this humble attempt as it takes one rash move to end things.

But if you feel strongly that nothing is working, consult with a lawyer who specializes in separation

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1330 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I am a 44-year-old married man. My wife and I had a love marriage. But just after the birth of our second child we started developing some smaller differences and issues. Nothing really major. However my wife started staying away from me physically. The intimacy and love in the relationship reduced and eventually stopped. Along the way I tried to go close to her but she wasn't interested. I tried a lot but it didn't help. We even tried to go to the counselor but she wasn't quite interested so we stopped midway. Now eight years have passed since we have had any physical closeness. We live like roommates just looking after the kids. However now my wife is making attempts to come close to me but somehow I don't feel anything for her and I am not co-operating. I feel like I just want to go away from everyone and start living independently. What is your advice? We have two daughters.
Ans: Dear N, What went through your wife’s mind at the time of the birth of your second child is something that needs to be addressed.

Maybe the work of bringing up two children exhausted her or there was a hormonal disturbance that made her lose interest. But let bygones be bygones.

Now that she is trying to get closer, maybe you can also try to see what the two of you can do to rebuild the closeness.

Rather than jump straight to sex, create closeness step by step.

Spend quality time together, watch movies, engage in a hobby together, cook together…the fondness and affection outside the bedroom might help breaking the ice and you start to at least engage in an affectionate manner towards one another.

It is easy to walk out of a marriage but do remember what the reason to walk out will be?

After a few years, it might not been worth it at all…Why not at least give the above suggestions a try?

Engage as friends with no expectations from one another and let the purpose be a happy engagement just like the one we have with out friends.

You also have two daughters who definitely want to be in a loving family; so give this a chance and see if it works out. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1330 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

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Relationship
I am a Single mother (divorcee) of 4year old kid. I was separated when the kid was around a year old, because of his habits and abusive nature. I didn't want my to go through the same The father or his family never asked to see the kid. Now my kid asks questions "where is my dad", "everyone has father, where is mine". It breaks my heart and i am not sure how to handle it. How can I tell my kid that the father doesn't want to be involved in a polite way so that it doesn't break my kid.
Ans: Dear Sushma,
I am sure this is really tough for you.
What I can suggest is actually reading out books to him that explain separation/divorce through stories. This will enable him to understand that there are families and not all families are the same. But do ensure that you give him a good image about his father. Bitterness as a seed can grow and that is not healthy for a child at all. As the story progresses, you may want to insert the truth that in some families, the father/mother are not involved and choose to be away. This maybe difficult for him to fathom right now but slowly comparing his life with his friends, he will have more questions as he grows up. Take it one day at a time...break the truth gently and very age appropriately and right now, stories seem to be the better way.

Later in life as he grows even older, he can choose to seek and understand the truth in his own way. It may seem like a big contrast then but he will know that you had in his childhood come from a space of concern for his emotional growth.

You may also check in with other single mothers and they will surely have some things to share on it...at the end of the day, do what you think is right as a mother for your child.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7162 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

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Money
Dear Sir, I am 38 years old and I want to invest 60 lakh in mutual fund as lumpsum or STP over one year. I am planning to break it to 4 parts of 15 lakh each and invest in Nifty 50, Nifty midcap 150, one multi cap and one flexi cap. I have an invest horizon of 20 years. I have invested in real estate so I have already diversified myself so want to stick to mutual funds for 60 lakhs. Please advise if this is wise or am I being dumb?
Ans: Your financial planning shows a clear and thoughtful approach. Allocating Rs 60 lakh with a 20-year horizon is wise. However, let’s evaluate your strategy to ensure optimal diversification, risk management, and returns.

Diversification Achieved:
Your existing real estate investments ensure risk is spread across asset classes.

Long-Term Horizon Advantage:
A 20-year horizon allows you to absorb market volatility and maximise compounding benefits.

Focus on Mutual Funds:
Sticking to mutual funds for this corpus is logical and efficient.

Reassessing Your Allocation Plan
Lumpsum vs Systematic Transfer Plan (STP):
Lumpsum investment can expose you to market timing risks. Use STP over 12–18 months to reduce volatility.

Equity Fund Categories Selection:
Your idea of investing in large-cap, mid-cap, multi-cap, and flexi-cap funds is balanced.

Issues with Index Fund Allocation
Concerns with Nifty 50 and Nifty Midcap 150:
Index funds lack active management, leading to missed opportunities during market fluctuations.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:
Active funds aim for better returns through expert fund manager insights and stock selection.

Advantages of Multi-Cap and Flexi-Cap Funds
Multi-Cap Funds:
These funds provide exposure across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap segments, ensuring balanced growth.

Flexi-Cap Funds:
Fund managers can freely allocate investments to market segments based on opportunities.

Complementary Approach:
Combining these funds with active large- and mid-cap funds ensures robust diversification.

Strategic Recommendations
Adopt a Blend of Active Funds:
Replace index funds with actively managed large- and mid-cap funds.

Focus on Quality Fund Selection:
Choose funds with consistent long-term performance and experienced fund managers.

Allocate Based on Risk Appetite:
Consider 60–70% allocation to equity funds for growth and 30–40% to hybrid or debt funds for stability.

Start STP Immediately:
Park your lumpsum in liquid funds and systematically transfer to equity funds monthly.

Taxation Awareness
Equity Mutual Funds Tax Rules:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt Funds Taxation:
LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan Exit Strategy:
Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) after 20 years to optimise tax benefits.

Risks and Monitoring
Mitigate Market Risks:
Diversified fund selection and STP lower volatility risks.

Review Regularly:
Monitor your portfolio yearly and rebalance if needed.

Avoid Over-Concentration:
Ensure no single fund category dominates your portfolio.

Additional Suggestions
Emergency Fund:
Ensure an emergency fund of at least 6–12 months' expenses.

Insurance Coverage:
If not already covered, secure adequate health and term insurance.

Avoid Unnecessary Additions:
Stick to mutual funds without over-diversifying into unrelated assets.

Final Insights
Your planned allocation reflects thoughtful diversification and long-term focus. Replacing index funds with actively managed funds can enhance returns. Using an STP will balance market volatility effectively. With consistent monitoring and expert fund selection, your Rs 60 lakh investment can achieve your 20-year goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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