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Should I Break Up with My Boyfriend Who Texted Another Woman While Planning Our Wedding?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Could be many reasons. Maybe his physical needs aren't being met. Maybe he is not attaracted to you anymore . Love is not permanent in all scenarios. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't have expectations

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |618 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

One more thing- if you really are thinking of taking this ahead, please make sure to meet up in person before committing. Love can happen online but for your safety, meeting IRL is very important.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Money
Hi I am 46.working in Pvt sector. Able to save 10000rs per month. Don't have much savings or investment. Kindly guide me how to invest this amount to build up a good corpus in coming 10 years
Ans: You are 46 years old and saving Rs.10,000 every month. You want to create a strong investment plan for the next 10 years. You do not have much existing savings. That’s perfectly okay. You are ready to act now. That’s what matters.

Here is a detailed, simple, and practical 360-degree plan.

? Understand your financial starting point
– You are 46 years old, working in private sector.
– You are able to save Rs.10,000 monthly.
– You have minimal past savings or investments.
– You have not mentioned any LIC, ULIP, or insurance-based investments.
– You are now planning for a better financial future in 10 years.

That’s a great and timely decision.

? Clarify your financial goals
– Think about what you want after 10 years.
– Is it retirement? Or a second income source?
– Or your child’s higher education or marriage?
– Having a clear goal helps in better investment planning.
– You can define your goal in simple terms.
– Also, prioritise between must-have goals and good-to-have goals.

This brings better clarity and commitment.

? Monthly savings are your superpower
– Rs.10,000/month may look small. But it’s powerful.
– In 10 years, it can create meaningful wealth.
– Consistency is more important than amount.
– Keep saving without breaks.
– Even in tough months, try not to skip SIPs.

Discipline is your biggest strength now.

? Emergency fund is your safety net
– You should first build a safety buffer.
– Set aside 6 months of your monthly expenses.
– If monthly expense is Rs.30,000, build Rs.1.8 lakh buffer.
– Start with Rs.1 lakh in savings and liquid fund.
– Keep 30% in savings bank. Keep 70% in liquid fund.
– Avoid fixed deposits. Early withdrawal charges reduce returns.
– Liquid funds are better than savings.
– They offer next-day withdrawal and better returns.

Build emergency fund first. Then start investing for long-term goals.

? Avoid index funds for long-term wealth creation
– Index funds are unmanaged. They just copy the market index.
– They don’t protect you during falling markets.
– They drop fast during crashes.
– They don’t adjust to changing market conditions.
– You need smart fund management for long-term growth.
– Actively managed funds are better.
– They are run by professional fund managers.
– These managers buy or sell based on research.
– You benefit from their market insights.
– In India, actively managed funds have outperformed index funds.

Index funds may look cheap. But they cost returns in long run.

? Avoid direct plans if you are not an expert
– Direct plans don’t give you guidance.
– You must decide fund, amount, changes, rebalancing – all on your own.
– No help during volatile markets.
– No suggestions when your goals change.
– Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) give guidance.
– You get support in fund selection and goal planning.
– CFPs help you avoid costly mistakes.
– They also review your portfolio regularly.
– Regular plans help you stay invested calmly.
– Investing is not just numbers. It’s also behaviour.

Handholding matters more than small expense ratio difference.

? Begin with 2–3 strong equity mutual funds
– Start with only 2 or 3 diversified equity funds.
– Choose Flexi Cap and Large & Midcap categories.
– These give good mix of large and mid companies.
– Add a Balanced Advantage Fund for market stability.
– These funds shift between equity and debt automatically.
– You don’t need to monitor markets daily.
– Avoid sector funds, international funds, thematic funds.
– They are risky and not suitable for your stage.
– Don’t try to pick many funds.
– Few good funds are enough.

Over-diversification leads to confusion, not better returns.

? Allocate SIP amounts with simplicity
– You can start SIP of Rs.4,000 in Flexi Cap fund.
– Rs.3,000 in Large & Midcap fund.
– Rs.3,000 in Balanced Advantage fund.
– Total = Rs.10,000/month.

This is simple and powerful allocation.

? Increase SIPs every year
– Try to increase your SIPs by 5–10% yearly.
– If income rises, increase investments first before expenses.
– Even Rs.1,000 extra per year makes a big difference.
– Over 10 years, this boosts final corpus strongly.

Growth in SIP is more important than one-time investments.

? Keep equity investments long term
– Don’t withdraw before 10 years.
– Let the money grow through compounding.
– Equity markets have ups and downs.
– But they reward patient investors over time.
– If you panic in short term, you lose returns.

Time is your best friend in equity.

? Avoid investment-linked insurance policies
– Don’t mix insurance with investment.
– LIC policies, endowment plans, ULIPs give poor returns.
– They promise returns, but deliver less than inflation.
– Keep insurance separate and simple.
– Buy term insurance if not already taken.
– Premium is low, cover is high.

Investment-cum-insurance products dilute both goals.

? Review portfolio every year
– Fund performance must be tracked once a year.
– Change the fund if it underperforms for 2 years.
– Rebalance if one fund grows too big.
– Your Certified Financial Planner will help with review.
– Don’t switch funds often. Review, not react.

Long-term success comes from patience and planning.

? Understand tax impact of mutual funds
– Long Term Capital Gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short Term Capital Gains are taxed at 20%.
– For debt funds, both gains are taxed as per your tax slab.
– Plan your withdrawals smartly.
– Take help of your CFP before redeeming.

Tax planning can save you big money.

? Stay away from risky investments
– Don’t invest in stock tips or small companies.
– Don’t try F&O or day trading.
– Stay away from chit funds and ponzi schemes.
– Don’t follow friends or relatives blindly.

Stick to mutual funds with professional guidance.

? Stay consistent with your plan
– Don’t stop SIPs due to short-term events.
– Avoid taking emotional decisions based on news.
– Focus on your goals, not market noise.
– Investing is like growing a tree.
– Give time, water it regularly, don’t uproot.

Consistency builds wealth quietly and surely.

? Create financial discipline in your life
– Avoid unnecessary expenses.
– Track your income and spending.
– Set automatic SIPs.
– Pay off credit card bills fully.
– Don’t take loans for gadgets or travel.
– Start saving before spending.

Good habits support good investments.

? Finally
– You are starting at 46, but that’s not late.
– Many people don’t start at all.
– Rs.10,000/month for 10 years with right discipline is powerful.
– Focus on quality funds.
– Stick to your goals.
– Review annually.
– Stay invested with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.
– Avoid direct plans if you’re not hands-on.
– Avoid index funds.
– Build emergency fund first.
– Increase SIP yearly.
– Don’t stop investing.
– Your 10-year wealth plan is now in motion.

Let your money work quietly. You stay focused and calm.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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