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Boyfriend Chatting with Another Girl - Can I Trust Him?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

One more thing- if you really are thinking of taking this ahead, please make sure to meet up in person before committing. Love can happen online but for your safety, meeting IRL is very important.

Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 08, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Could be many reasons. Maybe his physical needs aren't being met. Maybe he is not attaracted to you anymore . Love is not permanent in all scenarios. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't have expectations

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me. I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too. Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given.. He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much.. I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

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Komal Jethmalani  |484 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 10, 2026

Money
Regarding For Health Insurance And Term Insurance Me Age 31 Wife Age 24 Son Age 3 Mom AGE 50 DAD Age 55 Please Suggust Good Health Insurance Please Suggust Term Insurance Also For me Thanks Please Sugg
Ans: You are starting insurance planning at the right age. At 31, term insurance is usually much cheaper than later.

» Health Insurance

I would not put everyone into one common policy.

A practical structure would be:

– You, wife and son: family floater policy.
– Mother and father: separate senior-age health policies.
– Avoid mixing parents with your young family.
– Consider a strong base cover with a suitable super top-up.
– Check room-rent limits, co-payment and disease waiting periods.
– Check the insurer network near your residence.
– Check claim settlement process and policy exclusions.

For your parents, premiums can be much higher at ages 50 and 55.
So compare plans carefully before selecting one.

» Your Term Insurance

At age 31, term insurance is important because your wife and son depend on your income.

The required cover should consider:

– Your current income.
– Outstanding loans, if any.
– Child education.
– Family living expenses.
– Future financial responsibilities.

As a broad starting point, a Rs.1.5 crore to Rs.2 crore cover can be evaluated.

The policy should ideally continue until your major financial responsibilities reduce.

Choose pure term insurance only.

Avoid combining insurance with investment products.

» Important Point

Health insurance and term insurance serve different purposes.

Health insurance protects your savings from medical expenses.

Term insurance protects your family from loss of income.

Both should be treated as protection, not investment.

» Before Choosing Any Policy

Please compare:

– Claim settlement terms
– Waiting periods
– Permanent exclusions
– Co-payment conditions
– Room-rent restrictions
– Restoration benefits
– Lifetime renewal
– Network hospitals
– Premium increases
– Policy wording

Do not select only because the premium is lowest.

» Final Insights

Your young family needs a good health cover and adequate term cover.

Keep your parents separately insured.

For you, evaluate Rs.1.5 crore to Rs.2 crore term cover.

For health insurance, the exact recommendation needs your city and budget.

Also, disclose all existing medical conditions honestly while purchasing.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 10, 2026

Money
Hi Sir, i am a Accountant, i am married , i have one kid with age of 3, now i am planing to Reshape my Mutual Fund Protfolio, could you advice is this correct. Now My AGE 31 I am planing until my Age 40 and After 5 Year 1 Start to SWP From That Funds 1 . parag parik flexicap fund - Monthly 6K 2 . zerodha nifty large & Mid 250 elss fund - Monthly 4K 3 . Motilal Oswal Mid cap - Monthly 3K 4. Banthan Small Cap - Monthly 2K 5 . Nippon India Gold Saving Fund - 2 K NOTE : Every Year 10% Increse SIP Amount total 10 Year Horizon and i need money from after 5 Year I start SWP can i go long term this funds or need to rebalance
Ans: You have started quite early, which is a big advantage. At age 31, your long-term compounding period is strong. Your 10% annual SIP increase is also a very good habit.

» Your Present Strategy

Your total monthly SIP is Rs.17,000.

The broad allocation is:

– Flexi-cap: Rs.6,000
– Large and mid-cap index: Rs.4,000
– Mid-cap: Rs.3,000
– Small-cap: Rs.2,000
– Gold: Rs.2,000

The allocation is reasonably diversified.

But one important issue needs attention.

You want to start SWP after only 5 years.

Five years is not a very long period for an equity-heavy portfolio.

» Main Concern With The Five-Year SWP

If you definitely need money after five years, do not keep the entire corpus in equity.

Markets can fall sharply around your SWP starting date.

This can force you to sell units at low prices.

A better approach is goal-based investing.

– Years 1 to 3: Equity can have a larger role.
– Around year 4: Start reducing risk for the required amount.
– By year 5: Keep the next few years SWP requirement in safer assets.
– Let the remaining long-term money stay invested for growth.

This can make your SWP much more comfortable.

» About The Large And Mid-Cap Index Fund

This is the part I would reconsider.

An index fund simply follows its chosen index.

It does not actively select companies based on changing business conditions.

It also cannot avoid a company merely because its future outlook has weakened.

An actively managed fund gives the fund manager flexibility.

The manager can change stocks based on valuations, earnings and business quality.

Since you are planning long-term wealth creation, active management can be useful.

I would therefore review this allocation and consider an actively managed diversified category instead.

» Mid-Cap And Small-Cap Exposure

Having both mid-cap and small-cap exposure can help long-term growth.

But these categories can fluctuate heavily.

Since you want money after five years, do not increase these allocations aggressively.

Your 10% annual SIP increase is good.

But future increases should not automatically go into small-cap funds.

» Gold Allocation

Your Rs.2,000 monthly gold allocation is reasonable.

Gold can provide diversification.

It can also help during periods of equity market stress.

I would keep gold as a supporting allocation, not the main growth component.

» Should You Continue These Funds For Ten Years?

The investment horizon and withdrawal horizon are different.

You can continue investing for 10 years.

But if money is required from year 5, that portion needs separate planning.

Do not assume that every fund must be held unchanged for ten years.

Review the portfolio once every year.

Fund selection, allocation and your financial goals can change over time.

» How I Would Reshape It

I would keep the portfolio simpler.

– One strong diversified equity fund as the core.
– One mid-cap allocation for additional growth.
– Limited small-cap exposure.
– A modest gold allocation.
– Avoid unnecessary duplication.
– Replace the index allocation with a suitable actively managed category.
– Create a separate safer bucket for the five-year requirement.

You do not need many funds to build wealth.

» Your 10% SIP Increase

Please continue this habit.

It can become more important than selecting the perfect fund.

Whenever your salary increases:

– Increase SIPs first.
– Maintain your emergency fund.
– Increase investments towards your childs future.
– Avoid increasing lifestyle expenses at the same speed.

Your child is only 3 years old.

You have a very good time horizon for that goal.

» SWP Planning

Do not start SWP merely because five years are completed.

Start SWP when the money is actually required.

Before starting SWP:

– Identify the required monthly amount.
– Keep near-term withdrawals in safer assets.
– Keep long-term money invested for growth.
– Review the withdrawal rate every year.
– Rebalance when equity exposure becomes too high.

This approach can protect the portfolio from unnecessary selling during market falls.

» Regular Funds Through MFD

Since you are planning a long-term portfolio, consider investing through an AMFI-registered MFD.

Regular funds can provide ongoing portfolio support.

You also get help with reviews, rebalancing and goal planning.

Direct investing can work for disciplined investors who manage everything themselves.

But many investors change funds based on recent performance.

An MFD can help maintain discipline through market cycles.

» Final Insights

Your basic portfolio structure is good.

The main correction is your five-year SWP plan.

Do not keep the entire portfolio equity-oriented until the SWP starts.

Also review the index allocation.

I would prefer a simpler actively managed portfolio with clear roles.

Continue the 10% annual SIP increase.

Most importantly, separate your five-year requirement from your long-term wealth.

With 10+ years of disciplined investing, you have a strong opportunity to build meaningful wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 09, 2026

Money
Sir I have nearly 35 MF scheme. I have 4 Manu facturing fund. Axis mau facturing fund.. Canara Robecco Manu. fund G(SIP2000) Invesco Manufacturing fund G(SIP 2000 PM ). ICICI Manufacturing fund G Advise how to cut down or exit and invest in other fund continuing only one preferably ICICI. Then I have following non performing Funds Axis consumption fund G regular Hdfc Multcap Fund G regular Hdfc Multcap 50/25/25Index fund Direct Hdfc Tech. Fund D Growth Hsbc India Export Indis export Opp. D Growth ICICI opp. Fund D Growth SUNDARAM mutiasst allocation fund R . G SIP TATA NIFTY AUTO INDEX FUNDNIFTY G DIR. TATA NIFTY IND. TOURISM INDEX FUND G DIR. Above mentioned funds not performing. Your advise whether to and reinvest in an alternative fund. Overlaping funds ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund D SIP GROWTH SBI ENERGY OPP. FUND D. GROWTH 2) FRANKLIN IND. FLEXI CAP FUND R G. 20 UNIT HDFC FLEXICAP FUND R. G. 25 UNIT ICICI PRUDENTIAL FLEXI CAP R. G 3000 Unit TATA mid cap fund R. G. 175 unit UTI MID CAP FUND R. G. 200 Unit HDFC MID CAP FUND R G 250 UNIT Request detailed scrutiny and how to minimise. Besides l have following funds performing well Aditya Birla Sun Life focused fund HDFC Defence fund HDFC PHARMA FUND HDFC TRANSPORTATION FUND HSBC VALUE FUND HSBC ELSS FUND ICICI PRU.PHRMA & HEALTHCARE FUND UTI NIFTY 500 VALUE INDEX FUND I am 82 years old. No liability . Other investments like PPF BANK FD GOLD ANCESTRAL LAND PM ANNUITY PLAN RENT 15 LAKH health insurance. Equities of 5 lakhs Expenses very basic. Would like to re invest. for better returns. Waiting for your early reply. Your 's sincerely ..... ... V. G. Nadig
Ans: You have built substantial financial assets and, importantly, you have no liabilities. At age 82, the priority should now be simplicity, safety, liquidity and reasonable growth. Having nearly 35 mutual fund schemes is unnecessarily high.

» First Priority

– Reduce the MF portfolio substantially.
– Avoid managing many sector and thematic funds.
– Avoid keeping funds only because they performed well recently.
– Keep a smaller number of diversified funds.
– Keep sufficient money in safer assets for your regular needs.

At your age, chasing maximum returns is not necessary.

» Manufacturing Funds

You currently have four manufacturing funds:

– Axis Manufacturing
– Canara Robeco Manufacturing
– Invesco Manufacturing
– ICICI Prudential Manufacturing

There is considerable overlap in this allocation.

I would not keep four manufacturing funds.

If you have a strong preference for the ICICI Prudential Manufacturing Fund, keeping one manufacturing fund can be considered.

The other three can be reviewed for exit and consolidation.

However, do not switch all four on one day blindly. Check capital gains and exit loads first.

» Funds You Mentioned As Non-Performing

You mentioned:

– Axis Consumption
– HDFC Multicap
– HDFC Multicap 50/25/25 Index
– HDFC Technology
– HSBC India Export Opportunities
– ICICI Prudential Opportunities
– Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation
– Tata Nifty Auto Index
– Tata Nifty India Tourism Index

I would not judge these funds only by recent returns.

Some are sector, thematic or index-oriented funds.

They can have long periods of underperformance.

For an 82-year-old investor, I would reduce such complexity.

The index-oriented funds especially do not need to be retained simply for diversification.

» Energy Fund Overlap

You have exposure to:

– ICICI Prudential Energy Opportunities
– SBI Energy Opportunities

There is no strong need to hold two funds in the same sector.

Keep only one if you want sector exposure.

But given your age, even this allocation should remain limited.

» Flexi Cap Overlap

You currently have:

– Franklin India Flexi Cap
– HDFC Flexi Cap
– ICICI Prudential Flexi Cap

This is another clear area for consolidation.

Three flexi-cap funds are unnecessary.

You can retain one suitable flexi-cap fund.

The remaining two can gradually be consolidated after checking taxation and exit loads.

» Mid Cap Overlap

You have:

– Tata Mid Cap
– UTI Mid Cap
– HDFC Mid Cap

Again, three funds are not required.

Keep one suitable mid-cap fund if your overall portfolio needs this exposure.

However, at age 82, I would not maintain a large mid-cap allocation.

This money can be more useful in diversified and relatively stable investments.

» Funds Performing Well

You mentioned:

– Aditya Birla Sun Life Focused
– HDFC Defence
– HDFC Pharma
– HDFC Transportation
– HSBC Value
– HSBC ELSS
– ICICI Prudential Pharma & Healthcare
– UTI Nifty 500 Value Index

Good past performance alone should not decide whether you retain them.

You have multiple sector and thematic exposures here too.

For example, you already have two healthcare-oriented funds.

Defence and transportation are also thematic exposures.

I would reduce the number of such specialised funds.

» A Better Portfolio Structure

Your portfolio can be simplified into a few clear roles:

– Core diversified equity allocation
– Limited mid-cap allocation
– Limited thematic allocation, if required
– Suitable conservative allocation
– Adequate cash and fixed-income allocation

You do not need 35 schemes to achieve diversification.

Around 5 to 7 carefully selected funds can be more than sufficient.

» Very Important At Age 82

Your investment objective should now be different from that of a 40-year-old investor.

Capital preservation is important.

Liquidity is also very important.

You should have enough safe money for several years of expenses.

Equity should mainly serve the purpose of long-term inflation protection.

Do not put money required for near-term expenses into equity.

» About Reinvesting After Exit

I would not immediately reinvest every redemption into another equity fund.

First identify how much money you need for:

– Regular expenses
– Medical requirements
– Family support
– Emergency needs
– Future personal requirements

The remaining long-term surplus can then be invested.

This approach will make your portfolio much safer and easier to manage.

» Your Other Assets

Your FD, PPF, gold, ancestral land, annuity income and rental income provide additional diversification.

Your basic expenses are also low.

This is a positive position.

Therefore, there is no need to take excessive equity risk for higher returns.

» How I Would Approach The 35 Funds

Do it in three stages.

First, identify sector and thematic duplication.

Second, identify overlapping diversified categories.

Third, consolidate the portfolio gradually.

Do not sell everything together.

Review taxation and exit loads before each redemption.

The money released should then be allocated according to your income and liquidity requirements.

» Final Insights

You have done well in building a large and diversified investment base.

The main issue now is not lack of diversification.

It is excessive diversification.

35 schemes can make monitoring difficult and may create hidden overlap.

I would aim for a much simpler portfolio.

Your manufacturing, energy, flexi-cap and mid-cap holdings are the first areas I would consolidate.

I would also reduce excessive thematic exposure.

At 82, stability and peace of mind should come before chasing the highest possible return.

A detailed scheme-wise review would be useful before redeeming anything. It should consider current value, purchase value, gains, taxation, SIP status and exit load for every scheme.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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