Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Kanchan Rai  |294 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi

Hello gurus, Please guide me how can i handle a colleague who is constantly making fun on me asking me some irritation questions like you are aged and when will you get married please suggest me how to handle this sometimes even my boss ask me these questions , please guide me how should i respond to this as we are part of same team.

Ans: When dealing with colleagues, and even your boss, who make inappropriate comments or ask personal questions about your age and marital status, it's important to approach the situation with a combination of assertiveness and tact.

First, it's crucial to maintain your composure. Responding calmly and without visible frustration sends a message that you are in control and not easily perturbed by their comments. The goal is to address the behavior without escalating the situation or creating unnecessary tension within your team.

You might begin by addressing the comments directly but politely. For instance, the next time someone makes a remark about your age or asks about your marital status, you could say something like, "I understand that you're curious, but I prefer to keep my personal life private." This sets a clear boundary while remaining respectful.

If the comments persist, it can be helpful to explain why these questions are inappropriate. You might say, "I know these questions are often meant in good humor, but they make me uncomfortable. I'd appreciate it if we could focus on work-related topics." This approach communicates your feelings clearly and asks for a change in behavior without accusing or blaming.

It's also important to have a plan if the behavior continues. If your direct approach doesn't lead to improvement, consider discussing the issue privately with your boss or a trusted HR representative. Frame the conversation around your need for a respectful and professional work environment. You could say, "I've noticed that personal questions about my age and marital status are becoming frequent, and they make me uncomfortable. Can we find a way to ensure our conversations remain professional?"

Throughout this process, it's vital to remain consistent. Continue to calmly assert your boundaries each time the issue arises. Over time, this consistency will reinforce the message that your personal life is not up for discussion at work.

Remember, you deserve to work in an environment where you feel respected and comfortable. By addressing the issue directly and professionally, you can help create a more positive and respectful atmosphere for yourself and your colleagues.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Latest Questions
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds