Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Husband's Trust Issues: How to Rebuild Trust After 8 Months of Marriage?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |463 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello sir, we have completed 8 months of marriage and still my husband has trust issues about me, like I would have relation or contact with other person but I'm not having any relationship with anyone after marriage and even not connecting to anyone nor any ex person called or contact me from any media or app, . Since then I'm trying to clear my husbands doubt every time he asks me about it ...plzz tell me how do I make him to trust me .

Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you. Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago. Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married. Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also. He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life. Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together. Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner. I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can't think of separation. I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on. Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too. I am completely confused about what should I do. I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things. Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.
Ans: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am married for 10yrs with 2 kids. Suddenly I discovered my wife is having a relation with another man. I was devastated but rather than revealing I am aware I rather recalled all the good moments we had. She decided to part ways with another man still I wanted to know what prompted her so went into an open discussion with my wife knowing she already parted ways. She was shocked to know that I am aware but then she revealed she was emotionally down for last 6months and I was occupied with work. As I am emotionally attached with my kids and wife I decided to carry on and rather our love went more intense since the incident. Every now and then I still doubt and fail to maintain the same level of trust which I should. Please guide how I can maintain more stronger trust.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, incidents like these can make you lose trust especially now when you will start to doubt her every move, every action or inaction.
You seem to be a person who has chosen to see the goodness (that's amazing) in your relationship and wants to continue in the marriage. But for this to happen effectively, the trust has to be rebuilt all over again. As a couple, talk about this...share with your wife when you have bouts of doubts BUT don't ever get into the mode where she needs to explain or prove herself every single day.

If she has realized what has been missing in the marriage that made her step outside of it, then the two of you can spend time bringing life back into the marriage.
Ask her: How can I connect with you emotionally where you feel safe and secure?
Do a lot of activities together that will help the two of you reconnect!

Either you trust OR you don't...there's no in-between...so if you two have decided to give your relationship another chance, focus on how to rebuild the connection and how to care for one another even more than before!

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Career

Career Coach  |49 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
Hi, I’m a second year undergraduate student, and my friend told me about the CUET PG exam . Honestly, I’m still a bit confused about what exactly this exam is for. Is it just for admissions into central universities, or do private and state universities also accept CUET PG scores? I want to pursue my master’s degree, but I’m not sure if this is the right exam for me or if there are other options I should consider. Could you please explain the purpose of CUET PG and how it works?
Ans: Dear Student,

It's great that you're thinking about your postgraduate options early on in your undergraduate degree. The CUET PG exam is indeed a significant one for students in India, and it's good you're seeking clarity. Let me break it down for you:

What is CUET PG?

CUET PG stands for Common University Entrance Test (Postgraduate). It's a national-level entrance exam conducted by the National Testing Agency (NTA) for admissions into various postgraduate programs. Think of it as a gateway to higher education after your bachelor's degree.

Who Accepts CUET PG Scores?

You're right to ask about the scope of this exam. Primarily, CUET PG scores are used for admission to Central Universities across India. However, its reach is expanding. Many State Universities and even some Private Universities have also started accepting CUET PG scores for their postgraduate programs. This means a wider range of options for you based on your performance in a single exam.

Is CUET PG Right for You?

Whether CUET PG is the "right" exam for you depends on where you want to study and what you want to study.

• If you're aiming for a Central University, CUET PG is essential.
• If you're considering State or Private Universities, check if they accept CUET PG scores. This information is usually available on the university's admission website or the CUET PG information bulletin.

Other Options to Consider:

While CUET PG is a major exam, there are other options depending on your chosen field:

• University-Specific Entrance Tests: Some universities, especially well-established ones, might conduct their own entrance tests in addition to or instead of CUET PG.
• National-Level Exams: For certain fields like management (CAT, XAT), engineering (GATE), or pharmacy (GPAT), there are specific national-level exams.

How CUET PG Works:

• Exam Format: CUET PG is a computer-based test (CBT) with multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
• Syllabus: The syllabus generally covers subjects you've studied in your undergraduate program.
• Scoring: You'll receive a score based on your performance, which you can then use to apply to participating universities.
• Counseling: Each university will have its own counseling process based on CUET PG scores.

My Advice:

1. Explore Your Interests: Decide on the specific master's program you want to pursue. This will help you narrow down your university options.
2. Research Universities: Make a list of universities offering your desired program and check their admission criteria, including whether they accept CUET PG scores.
3. Check CUET PG Eligibility: Ensure you meet the eligibility criteria for CUET PG, which usually involves having a bachelor's degree in a relevant field.
4. Prepare Strategically: If you decide to take CUET PG, start preparing early and focus on the syllabus relevant to your chosen program.

I understand the importance of making informed decisions about your education. I hope this explanation helps you understand CUET PG better.

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2136 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4022 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Listen
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7411 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I have invested in ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 index SIP. I have noticed that from past 6 months the fund is not performing. Should I keep this fund or liquidate and invest in in multi asset fund?
Ans: The ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Fund replicates the Nifty 50 index. It is a passive fund that mirrors the index performance. The last six months have been volatile for the stock market, which has affected index funds. This is expected in short-term market conditions and does not reflect the long-term potential of index-based funds.

However, relying on index funds for wealth creation in volatile markets may not always be optimal. Active funds offer the flexibility of stock selection, better risk management, and potential for higher returns.

Why Active Funds May Be a Better Choice
Volatility Management: Active fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market trends. This flexibility helps during volatile times.

Higher Growth Potential: Actively managed funds can outperform index funds by investing in sectors and stocks with higher potential.

Diversification: Multi-asset funds allocate across equity, debt, and other asset classes. This reduces risk and provides stability.

Assessing Your Current Investment
Index Fund Performance: While the last six months may seem disappointing, index funds are designed for long-term investors.

Cost Factor: Index funds have lower expense ratios but lack active management during market fluctuations.

Active vs Passive: Actively managed funds are better during periods of market instability. They offer professional stock selection and sector rotation.

Benefits of Multi-Asset Funds
Balanced Portfolio: Multi-asset funds invest in equities, bonds, and gold, diversifying your investment.

Risk Mitigation: Allocation to multiple asset classes reduces portfolio volatility.

Stable Returns: These funds aim to provide consistent returns, even during volatile markets.

Suggested Action Plan
Reevaluate Goals: Align your investment decisions with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Shift to Active Funds: Consider shifting from the Nifty 50 index fund to an actively managed multi-cap or multi-asset fund.

Monitor Performance: Choose funds with a strong track record and consistent performance across market cycles.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A planner can help you select the right actively managed funds and align your investments with your financial plan.

Final Insights
While index funds like ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 are suitable for passive investors, active funds offer an edge in volatile markets. Shifting to a multi-asset or actively managed fund may help you achieve better returns and stability.

Invest wisely, monitor regularly, and stay disciplined to maximise your wealth creation journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x