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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am married for 10yrs with 2 kids. Suddenly I discovered my wife is having a relation with another man. I was devastated but rather than revealing I am aware I rather recalled all the good moments we had. She decided to part ways with another man still I wanted to know what prompted her so went into an open discussion with my wife knowing she already parted ways. She was shocked to know that I am aware but then she revealed she was emotionally down for last 6months and I was occupied with work. As I am emotionally attached with my kids and wife I decided to carry on and rather our love went more intense since the incident. Every now and then I still doubt and fail to maintain the same level of trust which I should. Please guide how I can maintain more stronger trust.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, incidents like these can make you lose trust especially now when you will start to doubt her every move, every action or inaction.
You seem to be a person who has chosen to see the goodness (that's amazing) in your relationship and wants to continue in the marriage. But for this to happen effectively, the trust has to be rebuilt all over again. As a couple, talk about this...share with your wife when you have bouts of doubts BUT don't ever get into the mode where she needs to explain or prove herself every single day.

If she has realized what has been missing in the marriage that made her step outside of it, then the two of you can spend time bringing life back into the marriage.
Ask her: How can I connect with you emotionally where you feel safe and secure?
Do a lot of activities together that will help the two of you reconnect!

Either you trust OR you don't...there's no in-between...so if you two have decided to give your relationship another chance, focus on how to rebuild the connection and how to care for one another even more than before!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Anuji, I am 52 and wifey at 49. In Jan 20, my wife admitted that she is in contact with her college friend since three years and she has ended it. Her college friend's wife found these contacts and threatened my wife for further consequences. Due to that threat, my terrified wife admitted on her own about her wrongdoings and asked me to forgive. It was shocking and mentally disturbing for me as I was trusting her 100% with all freedom one should give to loving spouse, but she failed. I tried to find the truth and level of that relationship. I have burned almost one year to come out of this shock. I forgive her one time for the sake of future of my children. Currently, though things are running smoothly, I do not dare to trust her 100% again. If I don't trust my wife, is there any future in my marriage? If yes, what should I do to secure my marriage even if I don't trust my wife fully?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is definitely difficult to trust again when the trust has been broken in the first place.
So, you need to make that call...if you want to rebuild your relationship and the reason is for the sake of the children, it might not last long. Make a decision of getting back together to first put your relationship with her in place; the children will anyway benefit from that. Having said that, this requires you to trust her...
Is it possible? Yes, though you will be continually filled with doubts and test her every move and that will not be healthy...
So, the key is that if you have decided to get back together, you must put full faith and trust back into it as hard as it may seem...But do it a 100%...give it your full...You either trust or you don't...there's no in between state here...
What might help is to have a clear conversation with your wife before you make any decision. Express how this has hurt you and how difficult you find it trusting her again. Allow her to do the talking on what she wants, what efforts she is going to put to reconcile and how things seem in the near future to her.
Gauge if there is any inadequacy that she has felt within the marriage so that this can be addressed as well.

The conversation is only a guide to the way forward and not a BEAT each other up game.

So, start your new journey knowing if you can trust, if you want to trust again...It will open up a sea of challenges and lessons to learn from.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello I am 38Yrs old and married for over 10years. One year back i discovered about my wife getting involved with another man. I was shattered as we have two kids. I initially thought of straight going for divorce but our two kids were always a priority for me and opened up conversation with my wife on what inclined her to take this step. She was shocked that I am aware of her situation. She then opened up that she felt lonely at times when I was away extremely busy with my office and at times she required emotional support for which I was not there. I explained her no reason in this world can explain her act. She felt apologetic and I decided to give another chance to our relationship keeping in mind our kids future. Its now more than an year and our physical/emotional relation have intensified since the incident. We miss each other when I am away and get into steamy conversations to compensate whenever we are distant. Despite of this I still cannot take the past out of my mind and at times it disturbs me. I feel really cheap that despite of moving ahead in our life's why I still keep bringing the past in between our relation. Although I don't discuss anymore about the incident with my wife but she can very well sense the reason when I feel disturbed. I want your help on how to best overcome of such incidents emotionally and rebuild the lost trust with your partner.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it's your control over the way your mind thinks...
If you want to play upon what's happened, then making up and trying to be in the marriage is going to be a difficult proposition. So, decide how you want to play this? Will you train your mind to look forward and rebuilding the marriage OR do you wish to keep at what's happened and live in the past? This is your choice to make...Of course, you cannot erase what's happened but you can change the way that you feel about it...
So, first make that choice. If you wish to dwell on the past, do know that your relationship will sour sooner than later. If you wish to move things ahead, then:
- rebuild the lost trust by spending more time together
- every time you slip into the past, remind yourself that you made the choice to move ahead
- make a clear and positive image of hwo you want your married life to be and play it up in your mind several times in a day

These are a few ways of changing the way you think about an incident and teaches you to move ahead more in a focused manner. Make a choice and stick by it.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

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Relationship
I have been married from last 20 years. It's arrange marriage and before marriage told me let she had an affair with a har college friend dena hai asked that if any relation physical relation has been done she said no I trusted her and married her but after 4 years of marriage I am notice that she didn't paid any attention or don't love me I always thought that there are some mistakes from my side that's why she behave like this . From last 16 years I was suffering from the situation. Recently I come to know when I saw her mobile accidentally and I come to know that she has the same affair from last 16 years with the same guy when I ask about this she told me that it was by mistake I am sorry I won't do this again after some pressureise she also told me that she did a physical relation with him before marriage and after marriage too. I was shocked cause physically I am fit and capable to satisfy her with all the way still she cheated me. Now she confess me all the things and told me promise me that she won't do any mistake henceforth. But no problem is whenever I am trying to get physical or emotional with her some thoughts in my mind game that she did all the things with another guy and cheating me so I can't make any relation ship with her. How can I trust her again we have to kids 10 year each. Please tell me what to do I am frustrated
Ans: Dear Trade,
You need to decide if you wish to trust her or not. It is difficult obviously with what you have discovered. But if you have chosen to carry on within the marriage, the only way that the mind can be managed is to accept what has happened and work with how things are today.
Give your marriage another chance and only then you can work your work through otherwise you will spend time only thinking about her cheating and what she did with the other person which anyone is not working well for you.
So, are you ready to forgive and move on OR hold onto the past? No decision is right or wrong; it's just what you want and then when you make that decision, make everything else work in favor of that decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P P  |10837 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |360 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I am 39 years PSU employee with monthly net salary of 1.10 lacs. I have a son of 9 years and daughter of 1 year. I am investing in MF through SIPs and lumpsump for last 7 years and my present MF portfolio is 50 lacs with XIRR of almost 18%. Presently I do SIP of 30000 per month. I also have housing loan and my EMI is 42000. I am provided accomodation and medical facilities from my employer. I also have accumulated 18 lacs in PF and Rs. 28 lacs in NPS. I have Term plan of 1.5 crs. I also have liquid funds of 10 lacs in FD for emergency purpose and approx 7 lacs in PPF. Since my child's major education expenses is still 7 to 8 years far for my son and 15 years for my daughter, I will continue my SIP of atleast for next 8 to 10 years without breaking my existing portfolio. Can I generate a corpus of more than 7 crs till my retirement with above funds and will it be sufficient to meet the inflation after 20 years.
Ans: Hi,

You have done and accumulated quite good at your age in different instruments with varied returns. Let us have a detailed look.

1. Emergency Fund - 10 lakhs in FD - good to go.
2. Term Plan - 1.5 crores - good to go.
3. Health Insurance - provided by employer. However, can take a separate personal insurance for yourself and family.
4. PF - 18 lakhs (continue)
5. NPS - 28 lakhs (continue)
6. PPF - 7 lakhs (can stop continuing, invest only bare minimum to keep account active. Close account upon maturity and reallocate these funds in mutual funds)
7. MF Portfolio - 50 lakhs with 30k monthly SIP
8. Home Loan EMI - 42000

Goals:
- Son's education - after 8 years
- Daughter's education - after 15 years
- Retirement - need 7 crores

You are very much on the right track. Your current financials look strong in terms of fulfiling your financial goals.

> Your current MF portfolio can be bifurcated into 2 parts
i. 40 lakhs for your retirement. This amount along with other amount from PF and NPS will finance your retirement forever (inflation adjusted). Additionally you wil lleave behind a great fortune for your kids.
ii. 10 lakhs for your kid's education. Continue your existing SIP of 30k per month and also contribute 7 lakhs from PPF account on its maturity towards this goal. For son, you will have 75 lakhs only from this investment and your daughter's education will have 1.5 crores when she requires.

This way your existing investments can take care of all your goals. Also, do increase your contibution in SIP yearly. It will help in generating a higher corpus for your family.

As your overall investments are more thann 10 lakhs in MFs, it is wise for you to connect with a professional who will assist you and make a dedicated investment plan as per your goals.
Hence, do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who will guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |360 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Money
My current age is 41 Years old and private employe in I.T sector. I have five kids of 11,8,7,5 &2 years. My elder daughter is in 7th class now. I have monthly Net salary of 1 lakhs after taxes. I am saving 20/30 thousand monthly. My assets are as follows:- I have one house worth Rs.15 lakhs, Two commercial shops worth Rs, 50 L. Having no loan in the market. Insurance Rs. 50 L term plan for me. Yearly I pay 40k. Health insurance 11 lakh for my entire family from my organisation.Yearly I pay 20k. I maintain an emergency fund 1.5 lac liquid on hand. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2035. I have a requirement during higher education for childerns/marriage/Business for my son's and retirement at my age of 51 yrs after 10 years. How to grow my income. I would like to focus on high-growth investment to achieve my goal. But I am planning to invest monthly from my salary. More ever I may get 4lack in next month. Now the thing is how to go about 4lack. Where to invest Am confused what to do. Kindly advise further for more wealth creation. Steady plan. Wealth builds slowly but surely. Can someone help design a withdrawal/Saving strategy to meet your income needs and achieve goal. I would like comfortable retirement with a steady income. Thanks....
Ans: Hi Syed,

Let us have a detailed look below:
- Your monthly income - 1 lakhs, expenses - around 75k , and money for saving - approx. 25k per month.
- Emergency fund - 1.5 lakhs . Would suggest you to make a FD of this fund as emergency fund.
- Term and Health insurance - covered. But sum assured is less for your family. It should be increased.
- One house - 15 lakhs; 2 commercial shops - 50 lakhs.

Requirements:
- Need 5 crores by 2035 i.e. in 10 years
- Need fund for higher education and marriage of 5 children
- Retirement corpus required after 10 years

To achieve all these goals, you need to invest starting right now in aggressive mutual funds with 25-30k left with you. And you can increase your investment with the increase in your income.
Realistically, retirement after 10 years is not possible, but you can try and upgrade your skills to earn more and invest more.

You are also getting 4 lakhs next month. Invest entire amount in aggressive mutual funds. Mutual funds will give you an annual return of 14-15% very easily. This is the best way to build wealth for the goals that you mentioned.
>> Make sure to stay away from LIC policies and ULIPs and other plans which lock your money.

As you are not much aware about mutual funds and investment, you should work with a professional who will draft a plan for you.

Hence, please consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10843 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Money
Dear Sir I have invested in a 2 BHK apartment in Mumbai Malad East area near Dindoshi court. The builder is GSA Grandeur. The builder promised to handover the flat possession ready to stay in December 2004. Later due to some issues he informed that the Flat shall be ready by December 2005. Now still he is saying that Falt shall be ready by August 2006. In this regard sir please advise what action I should take against the builder. The Flat cost is 1.11 CR plus registration charges from which I have paid him 1 CR. Kindly guide whom to approach for further action. Regards
Ans: You have taken a major financial step by booking an apartment. I appreciate your initiative in seeking advice. As a Certified Financial Planner, here is a structured menu of action you can take — from validating your rights to escalating with the proper authorities. Make sure to review all your documents and decisions with a qualified property lawyer before proceeding further.

» Confirm the agreement details

Check your Agreement for Sale (or Contract) and note the promised possession date: you mention December 2004, then December 2005, and now August 2006.

Verify whether the builder (GSA Grandeur) / promoter has a registered project under MahaRERA (Real Estate Regulatory Authority, Maharashtra).

See whether the project is listed on the MahaRERA website with a registration number.

Check if the builder has issued written communications about delay and extensions (emails/letters) and whether they have acknowledged the original date and the subsequent revised date.

Retain all payment receipts (you paid Rs 1 Cr out of total Rs 1.11 Cr + registration) and keep a record of when each payment was made and as per which schedule of installments.

» Understand your legal rights under the law

Under the Real Estate (Regulation & Development) Act, 2016 (RERA) and corresponding Maharashtra rules, if a promoter delays handing over possession beyond the agreed time, you have a right to compensation or withdrawal (refund) as per Section 18 of the Act.

You may ask the builder to pay interest on the amount you have paid so far for the period of delay. The model agreement under Maharashtra RERA states that if the promoter is unable to deliver within the time-schedule, the promoter should pay interest for every month of delay.

If the builder fails to deliver within a “reasonable” extended time (or fails entirely), you can choose to withdraw and seek refund of your money, along with compensation.

If the project is not registered with RERA (even though it should have been), then you may have additional grounds for legal action under consumer law or contract law.

Please note: recent judgments highlight that the builder’s delay gives you rights; but home-loan interest you paid may not be fully refundable via consumer forum as per recent rulings.

» Immediate practical steps you should take

Write & send a formal letter (by registered post) to the builder (GSA Grandeur) stating:

You booked the 2 BHK apartment in Malad East near Dindoshi Court.

The agreed (original) possession date was December 2004 (as per the agreement) and subsequent revised dates.

You have paid Rs 1 Cr out of total Rs 1.11 Cr + registration charges.

You demand the builder to clearly state the revised firm date of handing over possession, or alternatively offer you the option to withdraw and refund the money if they cannot meet a firm date.

You seek interest on the amounts paid for the period of delay, as per model agreement and RERA provisions.

Keep all your communication in writing and copy all relevant documents: payment receipts, agreement, letters from builder, any announcements, etc.

Check whether the builder has applied for or received Occupancy Certificate (OC) or Completion Certificate for the project/phase. Without OC the handover is legally incomplete.

» Approach the regulatory and legal forums

Check on the MahaRERA website whether the project is registered and find the project registration number.

If registered, you can file a complaint with MahaRERA (Maharashtra Real Estate Regulatory Authority) under the Act. As per FAQs, you may approach them for a refund, compensation and interest for delay.

If the project is not registered or the builder is non-compliant, you may also consider filing a suit in the consumer forum or appropriate civil court/contract tribunal for breach of contract.

Before filing, consult a lawyer specialising in real estate/consumer law so that all your evidence and claims are framed properly.

» Evaluate your options: continue vs withdraw

If the builder now gives you a firm handover date (with OC, all works completed) then you may choose to continue, given that you have already invested a large sum.

However, if the builder is still giving vague dates (August 2006 or beyond) and there are no signs of progress (OC pending, works incomplete), then you should seriously consider withdrawal and refund.

In that event, you must ask for: full refund of amount paid, interest for delay period (and compensation if justified), plus possible damages for alternative accommodation/rent you may have taken.

Monitor whether the builder is proceeding with construction, obtaining approvals, and has conveyed clear timelines.

» Assessing risk & safeguarding yourself

Since you made the payment long ago and the possession is delayed significantly, there is time-value and risk involved.

Make sure your title rights are secure: the agreement must clearly state your unit, floor, parking (if any), and your payments.

Avoid making any further significant payments unless you receive a possession letter and builder gives you the keys and OC/occupancy certificate.

Check for any lien, mortgage or charge on the builder’s property which may delay transfer further.

Note that property/real estate is subject to large delays and builder insolvency risk; hence your proactive action is wise.

» Document checklist for your case

Agreement for Sale (signed by you and builder) with possession date clause.

Payment receipts/Cheque copies of your payments (1 Cr paid) and records of registration charges.

Written communications from builder about revised dates (December 2005, August 2006).

Project registration certificate on MahaRERA (if available).

Status of Occupancy Certificate / Completion Certificate for the building.

Construction status photographs, society formation records, if any.

Correspondence showing builder’s acknowledgment of delay or your demand for possession/refund.

Any rent/alternative accommodation expense you incurred due to delay (if applicable).

» Timeline of action

Immediately send the registered letter to builder demanding firm date or refund.

Within 1-2 months if builder does not respond with firm date, file complaint with MahaRERA or initiate legal action.

Keep monitoring builder’s progress; if there is substantial delay (many years beyond promised date) your case will become stronger.

Maintain all documents and remain proactive; deadlines and records matter in these matters.

» Final Insights
You have a strong basis to assert your rights. The fact that possession was promised years ago and is still delayed means you are well within your rights to demand either speedy handover or refund/compensation. Initiate formal written demand, verify builder registration under MahaRERA, maintain all records, and seek regulatory/legal redress if builder remains non-responsive. With the right approach and evidence, you can compel the builder to perform or compensate you. Your prompt action now will protect your investment and avoid further loss.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
Holistic Investment Planners
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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