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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I had a relationship he cheated on me he took my virginity it's 7year relationship. Then I had a second relationship he also cheated me he need only sex . I trusted him that's why I'm okay to do that thing and he gave me promise that he only marry me i trusted his sweet words but he cheated me . Later I heard that he's a playboy. I feel like I'm useless. I truly loved them but their intentions was other stuffs. I'm a person who trust very easily but now I'm not . Will I get a future partner? If he knows my story will he leave me ? I'm not that bad person they cheated me I'm not like that . If I love someone I'll do anything for them .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Rather than just experimenting with your sexual life this way and attracting men who want just your body, why not focus on your strengths? When you base your self-esteem on how others treat you, you will always find yourself down and out and defeated.
Build character that hold you and your identity in a manner that you become a person that can overcome anything. For that, you need to stop throwing yourself at boys/men.
First discover yourself, build self-esteem that relies on your strengths and then venture into relationships so that heartbreaks are not so heavy but you understand it as part of growing up. Also, before indulging in sex, judge the situation and decide to go ahead only when you know that the person is safe for you and not someone who is using you. A real man will not USE you but will keep you safe and respect you as a woman.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 19, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I had an arrange marriage and married for 1.5 years, after marriage I came to know my wife is not virgin, she never told about her past relationship during our pre-wedding meetings for knowing each other and fixing marriage when I had asked her if she had any past relationship as I had told her I was never involved in a relationship. She was even in touch with him after marriage and had even invited him to our wedding though he did not come. Sometimes she said she had physical relationship out of curiosity, then changed her statement to that she loved him and then said that he used to force her to have physical relation. When confronted she deleted all contacts with him but I still not able to trust her though she says she loves me. I wanted to speak to her parents but my mother asked me to stay quiet. I have lost trust in her because she was never honest from the first day, what should I do, please guide me, this feeling is just killing me! Had she told about it to me in our meetings, I would have rejected thus alliance. Please guide me Anu, I need your help!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What seems to bother you more?
The fact that she is not a virgin or the fact that she hid it from you.
Why I ask this question is because it will help you evaluate your feelings stemming from which of the two it is...
I do understand that you feel cheated and there is significant amount of trust lost...
Also, I gather from you that you have strong feelings about chastity, purity etc and this is fair in your world as it is part of your core beliefs.
Now let's see things for what they are...she possibly didn't tell you because she knew that you might reject the proposal OR that she wanted to start afresh and many more OR she was forced into this marriage...But the fact that it has begun to eat at your peace of mind suggests that you must speak with her about it. Tell her exactly how you have felt being lied to.
Ask her if she still is interested in being in the marriage and ask yourself the same question. If there is any scope of reconciliation and putting this scene behind you, then it maybe worthwhile to rebuild the marriage from scratch. But if your belief comes in the way and you are unable to make peace with the fact that she hid this fact, everyday will be torturous.
Whatever the decision, I suggest talking it through together without blame games as this will only lead to anger and more conflict rather than leading to a decision point.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
hello, I am 36 years old divorcee. I was in a relationship for 3 years with one person after 2 years of my divorce and he ditched me by saying that he is not ready for any commitment (as he is going through his divorce too). Now, I am completely devastated because I invested way more than I should on him. I tried different matrimonial sites for searching good mate/partner but eventually everyone I met turned out to be sex oriented. It's been year of my breakup with my ex, but I still crave for him. why? And day by day I am loosing hope to get settle down in my family bcz of finding such non-serious and one tracked minded males. what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, you have invested more than what you could have...but don't we all do that when we want something to succeed.
After your divorce, maybe you wanted the next relationship to succeed and you gave it your all. But the man was not yet ready for his own reasons. What can you do about it? You were true in your intent...leave it at that without dissecting every element and turning its shadow onto future opportunities.

Move on; it's tough but understand that if you keep pining and obsessing over someone who is not available, you are only going to feel the pain again. For now, make that a closed chapter.
And once you close that chapter, only then you will be willing to explore newer opportunities with a full heart and an open mind. Yes, I do agree that you will find many wanting physical connections and not a relationship. But not all are inclined that way.
Once you direct your energies into a new avenue, it will yield results...and yes, I do believe in what I am saying here! Not all apples are rotten though a few might be and yet you don't dismiss eating apples, do you?
Get the drift?

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Money
Hi I am 39 years old, I would like to invest in mutual funds. Below is my portfolio Have one Flat worth 1cr and i am staying in that. Have 3 plots each worth 50Lacs. And have loan of 42 Lac Emi is 43000 and expense is 30K. And 2Lac school fee every year for kid one Monthly take home is 1.3Lac Mutual funds have 1Lac investment. PPF 5Lac, PF 21Lac, NPS 10Lac. Sukanya 5Lac. Current Savins EPF 20000pm, NPS - 10000pm, Mutual funds- 8K. Term insurance 1cr, health insurance 10lac i have I would like to create corpus for retirement, kids education and marriage, have two kids 7 and 1 year. Please suggest how to allocate . Following is my Mutual fund portfolio, 1000sip in all categories, large cap, mid cap, small cap, multi and flexi cap, balanced advantage fund.
Ans: It's wonderful to see your proactive approach to financial planning, especially considering your family's future needs and goals. Let's discuss how to allocate your investments to create a solid corpus for retirement, kids' education, and marriage:

• First, let's address your existing assets – your flat and plots. These are valuable assets that can contribute to your overall net worth.
• However, it's crucial not to rely solely on real estate for your investment portfolio diversification.

• With regards to your loans, it's advisable to prioritize paying off high-interest debts, like your loan with a 42 lakh balance.
• By reducing debt, you can free up more funds for investments and increase your financial flexibility.

• Now, let's focus on your monthly expenses, including your child's school fees and other living expenses.
• It's essential to budget wisely and ensure that your investment contributions don't compromise your day-to-day financial stability.

• Your existing investments in PPF, PF, NPS, and Sukanya are commendable. These provide a solid foundation for your financial future.
• You can continue contributing to these instruments while also exploring additional investment avenues to diversify your portfolio.

• Considering your investment horizon and risk tolerance, mutual funds offer an excellent opportunity for long-term growth.
• Your current SIP portfolio across different categories – large cap, mid cap, small cap, multi, and flexi cap – is well-diversified.

• As a Certified Financial Planner, I would suggest reviewing your asset allocation and ensuring it aligns with your financial goals.
• Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards increasing your SIP contributions to mutual funds, aiming for a balanced mix across categories.

• Additionally, consider increasing your contributions to retirement-focused instruments like NPS, which offer tax benefits and long-term wealth accumulation.
• For your children's education and marriage goals, consider setting up separate SIPs or investment accounts dedicated to these objectives.

• Lastly, ensure you have adequate insurance coverage, including term insurance and health insurance, to protect your family's financial well-being.
• Regularly review your financial plan, adjust as needed, and stay committed to your long-term goals.

By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investments, you'll be well-prepared to achieve your financial aspirations and provide for your family's future needs. Keep up the good work, and remember that consistency and patience are key to success!

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir , I am 53 year old, advocate, my daughter will complete LLB in next year. I would like make plan for her wedding after 3 years. I have started saving from December 2023 which is monthly 35 - 1L in my local Credit society for interest pm 10%, interest also saving by making recurring deposits. Please suggests me right way savings for my daughters marriage.
Ans: Congratulations on planning ahead for your daughter's wedding! It's heartening to see your dedication to ensuring her special day is memorable and stress-free. Let's discuss the right savings approach for this important milestone:

• Starting early is key to building a substantial wedding fund, and you've already taken the first step by initiating savings.
• Consider setting a specific target amount for your daughter's wedding expenses, taking into account factors like venue, catering, decorations, and more.
• Assess your current financial situation, including income, expenses, and existing savings, to determine a realistic savings goal.

• Given your age and the relatively short time frame of three years, it's essential to prioritize stable and low-risk investments.
• Explore options like fixed deposits, recurring deposits, and savings accounts for your wedding fund savings.
• Opt for instruments with competitive interest rates and minimal risk to safeguard your capital while earning steady returns.

• Consider diversifying your savings across different instruments to mitigate risk and maximize returns.
• Regularly review your savings plan and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your goal.
• Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and guidance tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

• Remember, your daughter's wedding is a joyous occasion, and your efforts to save for it will make it even more special.
• Stay focused on your goal, and keep up the good work with your savings plan.
• Your dedication and foresight will ensure your daughter's wedding is a beautiful and memorable celebration.

By following these steps and staying disciplined with your savings plan, you'll be well-prepared to finance your daughter's wedding and create cherished memories for your family.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Money
Sir i want to start a sip for 5k please suggest an sip for a long term investment. Current sip amount is 1k in hdfc mid cap opp. My age is 20
Ans: It's great to see your interest in starting a SIP at such a young age! Since you're already investing in HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities Fund, let's explore some other SIP options for long-term investment:

Large Cap Funds: Consider investing in large-cap funds, which typically invest in well-established companies with a proven track record. These funds offer stability and steady growth potential over the long term. Look for funds with a consistent performance history and a focus on quality stocks.
Multi-Cap Funds: Multi-cap funds invest across companies of different sizes, offering diversification and flexibility. These funds have the freedom to shift between large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions. Choose a fund with a seasoned fund manager and a disciplined investment approach.
Index Funds: Index funds replicate the performance of a specific market index, such as the Nifty 50 or Sensex. These funds have lower expense ratios and provide broad market exposure. Investing in index funds can be a cost-effective way to participate in the equity markets over the long term.
Balanced Advantage Funds: Balanced advantage funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt based on market valuations. These funds aim to provide stable returns with lower volatility. Consider investing in a balanced advantage fund for a balanced risk-return profile.
Global Funds: Global funds invest in international equities, providing exposure to global markets and diversification beyond domestic stocks. These funds offer the opportunity to benefit from global economic growth and innovation. Choose a global fund with a focus on quality companies and strong fundamentals.
Before selecting a SIP, assess your risk tolerance, investment goals, and time horizon. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner or investment advisor to choose a SIP that aligns with your financial objectives and risk profile. By starting early and investing consistently, you're laying the foundation for long-term wealth creation and financial security. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with your investment journey!

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Money
Myself and my spouse are working and have 2 kids -9 & 10 years. We are in our early 40 and acquired corpus of 3 cr. Corpus 2.3 crore is in EPF , PPF , Sukanya for both children and rest in NPS (75 % equity) and mutual fund. We have recently increased Mutual fund investment after our home loan finished and doing SIP in large and mid cap index funds for 450000 pm. As we have more in debt investment due to EPF and PPF investment, is it wise to increase MF at this age. We are investing 6 laks PA in PPf and Sukanya account and are confused whether to reduce this amount and contribute more to MF. We have saving capacity of 15 lakhs per annum after our mandatory 12 % EPF contribution.
Ans: You've done an excellent job of building a substantial corpus for your family's future, and your commitment to both debt and equity investments is commendable. Let's delve into whether it's wise to increase your mutual fund (MF) investments at this stage and whether to adjust your contributions to PPF and Sukanya accounts:

Assess Your Financial Goals: Consider your financial goals, time horizon, and risk tolerance when deciding on the allocation between debt and equity investments. While debt instruments like EPF, PPF, and Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana offer stability and tax benefits, equity investments through MFs provide growth potential over the long term.
Diversification is Key: It's important to maintain a diversified investment portfolio that balances risk and return. Given your substantial debt investments in EPF, PPF, and Sukanya accounts, increasing your exposure to equity through MFs can help diversify your portfolio and potentially enhance returns, especially considering your long investment horizon.
Evaluate Investment Horizon: At your age, you still have a significant investment horizon ahead of you, which allows you to benefit from the power of compounding and weather market fluctuations. Since equity investments tend to perform well over the long term, increasing your MF contributions can be a prudent strategy to capitalize on growth opportunities.
Review Your Financial Position: Assess your current financial position, including your income, expenses, and savings capacity, to determine if you have the flexibility to allocate more funds towards MF investments. Given your saving capacity of 15 lakhs per annum after EPF contributions, you may consider redirecting a portion of these savings towards MFs to achieve a balanced portfolio.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate your investment strategy holistically. A financial advisor can help assess your risk profile, recommend suitable asset allocation, and tailor an investment plan aligned with your financial goals and aspirations.
Regularly Monitor and Adjust: Continuously monitor your investment portfolio and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your financial situation, market conditions, and investment objectives. Stay informed about investment opportunities and make informed decisions to optimize your portfolio's performance over time.
Ultimately, the decision to increase MF investments and adjust contributions to PPF and Sukanya accounts depends on your individual circumstances, goals, and risk appetite. By carefully evaluating these factors and seeking professional advice, you can make informed decisions to build a robust and diversified investment portfolio that serves your family's long-term financial well-being.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 52,going to retire this year with a 2.5 cr corpus without any pension. Please advise me a good retirement plan for regular income. I am a moderate risk taker. Presently my monthly expenses are 70 k.
Ans: Given your impending retirement and moderate risk tolerance, it's crucial to create a retirement plan that provides a regular income stream while preserving your capital. Here's a suggested retirement plan tailored to your needs:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan from your remaining corpus to supplement your annuity income. Determine a withdrawal rate that meets your monthly expenses while ensuring your savings last throughout retirement. Opt for a conservative withdrawal rate to safeguard against market volatility.
Income-Oriented Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your corpus to income-oriented mutual funds or dividend-paying stocks. These investments can provide regular dividends or interest income, further augmenting your retirement income stream. Focus on funds with a track record of consistent payouts and stable returns.
Fixed Deposits and Bonds: Consider allocating a portion of your corpus to fixed deposits or bonds for stability and income generation. Choose investment-grade bonds or government securities to minimize credit risk. Opt for shorter maturity periods to maintain liquidity and flexibility.
Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus as an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses or emergencies. Aim to maintain at least six to twelve months' worth of living expenses in a liquid and easily accessible account.
Regular Portfolio Reviews: Regularly review your retirement portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to periodically assess your retirement plan and make adjustments as needed.
Health Insurance: Invest in comprehensive health insurance coverage to protect against medical expenses during retirement. As healthcare costs tend to rise with age, having adequate insurance coverage is essential to safeguard your retirement savings.
By implementing this retirement plan, you can enjoy a steady income stream while preserving your capital for the long term. Remember to prioritize financial security and peace of mind as you transition into retirement. Congratulations on reaching this milestone, and best wishes for a fulfilling retirement journey ahead!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Money
Sir, Now I am 55 and started investing since last two years ago, due to family responsibilities. Now I am investing in (1) HDFC Midcap opportunities fund direct plan Rs 5000 (2) Mirae asset large cap and mid cap fund direct growth plan Rs 5000 (3) Nippon India Small Cap fund direct growth plan Rs 8000 (4) Parag Parikh flexicap fund RS 2000 per month. I will be remain invested for min 10 years. And retired with normal corpus. Not big. Please suggest for investment, Within Rs 20000- per month.
Ans: It's never too late to start investing, and it's admirable that you've taken this step towards securing your financial future, especially with family responsibilities and approaching retirement. Let's explore some suggestions for your investment within your budget of Rs 20,000 per month:

Diversify Your Portfolio: Your current portfolio already includes a mix of mid-cap, large-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds, which is a good start. To further diversify, consider adding a balanced fund or a hybrid fund, which invests in a mix of equities and debt instruments. This can provide stability while still offering growth potential.
Consider Debt Investments: As you approach retirement, it's essential to balance your portfolio with debt investments to reduce overall risk. You can allocate a portion of your monthly investment towards debt funds or fixed-income instruments like PPF, RDs, or bonds. These investments offer steady returns and help preserve capital.
Evaluate Risk Tolerance: Given your age and investment horizon of at least 10 years, you can afford to take on some risk to achieve higher returns. However, it's crucial to assess your risk tolerance and ensure that your investment choices align with your comfort level.
Review and Rebalance Regularly: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Rebalance your portfolio if necessary, considering changes in your financial situation or investment objectives.
Consult with a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner or financial advisor who can provide personalized advice based on your specific needs and goals. They can help you create a customized investment plan and provide guidance on asset allocation, portfolio diversification, and risk management.
Stay Invested for the Long Term: Investing for retirement requires patience and discipline. Continue to invest regularly and stay committed to your long-term financial goals. Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.
Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to remain focused on your goals while adapting to changing circumstances. With careful planning and prudent investment choices, you can build a secure financial future for yourself and your family. Keep up the good work, and best of luck on your investment journey!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1469 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello I am 25 years and earning around 17k per month and I have sip of Axis small cap of rs 500 Nippon India small cap 1000 ICICI prudential technology 500 and PPF 500 till now I have around 1.2 lakhs in mutual fund and equity 70k please suggest me for long term wealth
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach to investing at such a young age! Let's explore some suggestions for long-term wealth creation:

Continue SIPs: Your SIPs in Axis Small Cap, Nippon India Small Cap, and ICICI Prudential Technology are a good start. These funds offer exposure to different sectors, providing diversification and growth potential. Consider gradually increasing your SIP amounts as your income grows.
Explore Diversification: While small-cap and technology funds offer growth potential, consider diversifying your portfolio further. Look into investing in large-cap or multi-cap funds to balance risk and potential returns. A mix of different asset classes can enhance the stability and growth of your portfolio.
Utilize PPF: PPF is an excellent tool for long-term wealth accumulation, offering tax benefits and guaranteed returns. Continue contributing to your PPF account regularly to take advantage of its compounding effect over time. Aim to maximize your annual contributions within the prescribed limits.
Stay Invested for the Long Term: Investing is a long-term commitment, and patience is key to achieving wealth accumulation goals. Avoid frequent trading or reacting to short-term market fluctuations. Stay focused on your financial objectives and stick to your investment plan.
Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn about different investment options, risk management strategies, and personal finance concepts. Attend workshops, read books, or follow reputable financial blogs to enhance your knowledge and make informed decisions.
Emergency Fund: Building an emergency fund is crucial to protect yourself from unexpected expenses or income disruptions. Aim to set aside at least 3-6 months' worth of living expenses in a liquid and accessible account.
Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Rebalance your portfolio if needed, considering changes in market conditions or your personal circumstances.
Remember, investing for long-term wealth requires discipline, patience, and a well-thought-out strategy. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to create a customized plan tailored to your goals and financial situation. Keep up the good work, and stay committed to your journey towards financial success!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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