Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

hello, I am 36 years old divorcee. I was in a relationship for 3 years with one person after 2 years of my divorce and he ditched me by saying that he is not ready for any commitment (as he is going through his divorce too). Now, I am completely devastated because I invested way more than I should on him. I tried different matrimonial sites for searching good mate/partner but eventually everyone I met turned out to be sex oriented. It's been year of my breakup with my ex, but I still crave for him. why? And day by day I am loosing hope to get settle down in my family bcz of finding such non-serious and one tracked minded males. what to do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yes, you have invested more than what you could have...but don't we all do that when we want something to succeed.
After your divorce, maybe you wanted the next relationship to succeed and you gave it your all. But the man was not yet ready for his own reasons. What can you do about it? You were true in your intent...leave it at that without dissecting every element and turning its shadow onto future opportunities.

Move on; it's tough but understand that if you keep pining and obsessing over someone who is not available, you are only going to feel the pain again. For now, make that a closed chapter.
And once you close that chapter, only then you will be willing to explore newer opportunities with a full heart and an open mind. Yes, I do agree that you will find many wanting physical connections and not a relationship. But not all are inclined that way.
Once you direct your energies into a new avenue, it will yield results...and yes, I do believe in what I am saying here! Not all apples are rotten though a few might be and yet you don't dismiss eating apples, do you?
Get the drift?

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I started a relationship with this guy, who I met on a dating app like a year back. I started to like him and everything was going fine. We started talking and soon our conversations steered towards talking about our future. However, he suddenly told me out of nowhere that he is a divorcee. His marriage was called off at the altar due to dowry issues. He and his family are embroiled in a dowry case which is going on. I was shocked and wanted to know the entire truth but he never came clear about what exactly happened. He told me that he cannot think of marriage and the future and wants to keep it casual. I was heartbroken and we fought a lot after which he suddenly stopped talking. After sometime he started talking again and said that he wants me back. He always makes plans to meet in hotels and spend nights with him. I started to grow distant, stopped taking his calls and tried to push him out. I also started to look out for matches, based on my age. I am 32, but nothing is materialising there. I started missing him and recently messaged him again. I lied to him that I am getting hitched and he said ‘okay let’s meet and spend a night together.’ I really don't know. I am amused that all he is really interested in is getting into my pants all the time. I am genuinely in love with him and he says it again now also he loves me. But his thoughts and words are not in sync. I am just not able to get over him. I have been trying hard since I decided to move on. Some thing or the other brings me back to him again and again. I am becoming more lonely, depressed all the more coz the marriage thing is also not picking up and I have no one.Please help.
Ans:

Dear BG,
What does it tell you about a person when he chooses to hide the fact that he is a divorcee and that too with a reason like dowry?

Doesn’t this ring any bell for you as a sign to the fact that he possibly can never be trusted when he can’t come clean with his life story?

And now the complication of being physically involved has added a dimension that makes you want to be around him even more?

The very fact that you have written to me is because you are revaluating your thoughts about him and GOOD, you must and ask yourself:

Is he really worth my love, time and energy?

Has he done anything to earn my trust?

If it’s a big NO, you know that this guy isn’t the last man on the planet and that just because you are unable to find a suitable life partner, you need to settle for this man.

No, you don’t need to settle and pine for someone who has not bothered to take your feelings into considerations and not much of thought as to: if she finds out about my past, how will she react?

So let me be the one to tell her rather than she hear it from someone else.

Instead, he chooses to defend his decision of hiding this and to top it all stops talking to you.

Why exactly is he playing the victim when he isn’t? Because, he feels that it isn’t his problem and that it is yours and that you need to be making all the adjustments IF you want a future with him.

Did all this give you a good perspective?

Do the right thing and Love yourself. All the best.

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

Listen
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2023

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi. I am 36 yrs old divorcee and the person whom I dating from past 4 years is recently divorced (when we started dating, his case was subjudice). From past 1.5 years, his behaviour is on and off. He took a break for 3 months, now also someday he talks and then disappear for days and I constantly supported him by giving him benefit of doubt as he was going through divorce (as I already had gone through that phase). But, even now he is not talking anything about commitment or our future. I am stuck with this. I even started seeing other guys too on matrimonial sites, but find that they too have a commitment phobia. Now, I am hopeless and don't get it what to do? please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am so sorry that you are facing so many issues. I understand that it can be frustrating but rest assured it will get better. Coming to the issue you are facing with your partner, I suggest having a clear conversation about it with him. Tell him how you are feeling about his on-again-off-again attitude. Make it clear to him that you won't be waiting forever for him to commit. Do not just say it because you want to give him an ultimatum, rather mean it because you should not compromise your mental health and self-respect for anyone. If your partner still does not change his ways, it might do you good to reconsider the relationship and put down some ground rules.

About the guys you met- in today's dating scene, some people are hesitant about commitment, but it does not mean every single person has the same fear; for instance, take a look at yourself. You are ready to commit. There are many like you. To find like-minded men, try dating apps known for serious relationships. Write a clear bio about what you're looking for to attract the right match. Ask friends and family to set you up with people looking for a committed relationship to save time and energy.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear expert I am 52 year lady divorcee. Looking for a partner for remarriage. Whomever i meet, everything goes on well for few days or months and somehow breaks. The men feel so insecure about me and they breakup even when i talk of solutions and taking forward as life is short and we need a partner to survive. I am not able to find a man who can think better at this stage of life. If you can suggest what should be done to make them understand and most of the men look for only physical pleasure even at later part of life instead of looking for a partner in all respects. What should be done to find the right partner.
Ans: It's understandable that finding a suitable partner at this stage in life can be challenging, especially when your intentions and expectations don't align with those of the men you meet. The key to finding the right partner lies in a combination of self-awareness, clear communication, and patience.

First, it's important to ensure that you are clear about your own needs and desires. Reflect on what you're looking for in a partner beyond companionship. What values and traits are essential for you? Being clear about these aspects will help you identify potential partners who are genuinely compatible.

When you meet someone new, be upfront about your expectations early on. This doesn’t mean overwhelming them with demands, but rather having open and honest conversations about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Express that you are seeking a meaningful, long-term partnership rather than something solely based on physical attraction. This clarity can help filter out those who are not on the same page.

It’s also crucial to recognize that some men may feel insecure or uncertain for various reasons. They might have their own past experiences or fears that impact their ability to commit. While you can offer reassurance and support, remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix or change them. Focus on finding someone who is emotionally mature and ready for the kind of relationship you desire.

Building a strong connection takes time. Be patient and allow relationships to develop naturally. It’s okay if things don’t work out with some people—each experience can be a learning opportunity that brings you closer to finding the right partner.

Consider expanding your social circles and exploring new ways to meet potential partners. This could be through social events, community groups, or online dating platforms that cater to mature singles looking for serious relationships. Engaging in activities you enjoy can also help you meet like-minded individuals.

Finally, remember to stay positive and keep an open heart. It can be disheartening when relationships don’t work out, but maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook will make the journey more pleasant and increase your chances of finding the right partner.

By being clear about your needs, communicating effectively, and staying patient, you are more likely to attract a partner who is looking for the same deep and meaningful connection you desire.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7547 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Career
My brother secured 60.69 percentile in jee main and class 12 percentage between 50 and 60 in CBSE. Can you please recommend the private engineering colleges in mumbai , pune and delhi ( north india ).
Ans: With a 60.69 percentile in JEE Main and 50–60% in Class 12, several reputable private engineering colleges in Mumbai, Pune, and Delhi NCR offer accessible admission criteria, strong academic quality, and consistent placement pipelines. In Mumbai, consider Dwarkadas J. Sanghvi College of Engineering (NAAC A, NBA-accredited, 100% placement rate in 2024), K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering (AICTE-approved, AAAA+ accreditation), Vivekanand Education Society’s Institute of Technology (NBA, NAAC A+, 73.31% placements), Sardar Patel College of Engineering (NAAC A++, robust core engineering labs), and Atharva College of Engineering (modern infrastructure and industry MoUs). In Pune, Symbiosis Institute of Technology (NAAC A++, 91% placements 2023-24), MIT World Peace University (NIRF-ranked, AAAA accreditation), AIT Pune (NIRF 101-150, AAAA), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering & Research (NBA-accredited, strong industry tie-ups), and Pune Institute of Computer Technology (NBA, AAAA+ accreditation) stand out. In Delhi NCR, Amity University Noida, Galgotias University Greater Noida, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology Noida, Manav Rachna University Faridabad, and Noida Institute of Engineering & Technology maintain NBA/NAAC accreditations, specialized labs, industry partnerships, and 70–90% placement rates. All these institutions boast qualified, research-active faculty; modern laboratories; industry-aligned curricula; accredited programs; and dedicated placement cells ensuring ≥70% placement consistency over the last three years.

Recommendation: Choose Dwarkadas J. Sanghvi College of Engineering or K. J. Somaiya in Mumbai, Symbiosis Institute of Technology or MIT WPU in Pune, and Amity University Noida or JIIT Noida in Delhi NCR for their balanced strengths across faculty quality, infrastructure, industry partnerships, accreditation, and consistent ≥70% placement rates. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7547 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Career
Dear Sir, my daughter is in Grade 12 with computer science as one of her core subjects in addition to Maths, Phy, Chem. We see huge enrollment for CS in undergraduate level. What would be your recommendation as a futuristic specialisation Which is advised as part of the undergraduate program in computer science, noting that she is more interested in real field application side of it. She also has an inclination towards aerospace science. Can any specific blended undergraduate program with specific colleges be suggested/recommended which will open up grounds for specialisation having potential demand in the next 5 years. Or would it be still recommended to pursue general CS or CompEng with specific electives for undergraduate level and then specialise after In which case any recommendations for specific college programs which gives much practical exposure and options for specialisation in aerospace, robotics etc. Regards. Ashok.
Ans: Ashok Sir, India now offers pioneering blended undergraduate pathways merging computer science with aerospace or robotics, ensuring early specialization and practical field application readiness. The International Institute of Information Technology, Bangalore, pioneered a five-year Integrated M.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering, awarding dual B.Tech and M.Tech degrees with tailored electives in emerging CS domains, while VIT Vellore’s five-year Integrated M.Tech in Artificial Intelligence, Data Science and Bioinformatics combines foundational computing curricula with advanced research projects and internships in state-of-the-art labs. For aerospace aficionados, IIT Bombay and IIT Kanpur each provide five-year dual-degree programs granting B.Tech and M.Tech in Aerospace Engineering, covering aerodynamics, propulsion, avionics and spacecraft design with rigorous laboratory and project-based learning. Industry-driven specialized options include SRM Institute of Science and Technology’s B.Tech in Automation & Robotics integrating AI, machine learning, IoT and PLCs in advanced automation labs, and Manipal University Jaipur’s B.Tech in Robotics and Artificial Intelligence with drone technology and data analytics tracks. Unique interdisciplinary models such as the Institute of Aeronautics and Engineering, Bhopal’s Integrated B.Tech CSE + Aircraft Maintenance Engineering (DGCA) equip graduates for both software development and licensed aircraft maintenance roles. Alternatively, traditional Computer Science or Computer Engineering pathways at institutions like IIT Bombay or IIIT Hyderabad offer robust core curricula, flexible minor programs in aerospace or robotics, and immersive research centers fostering real-world projects in smart systems and aerospace data analytics, maintaining ≥90% placement rates and strong alumni networks.

Recommendation: For early domain depth and research, opt for five-year Integrated M.Tech CSE at IIIT Bangalore or VIT Vellore; for aerospace specialization, consider dual B.Tech/M.Tech at IIT Bombay or IIT Kanpur; for hands-on robotics and drone expertise, select SRM Kattankulathur or Manipal Jaipur robotics programs; if preferring broader CS foundations with elective flexibility before specializing, choose general CSE or CompEng at top institutes like IIT Bombay or IIIT Hyderabad with robust minor and lab offerings. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.
Asked on - Jun 30, 2025 | Answered on Jun 30, 2025
Thanks a lot Sir
Ans: Welcome.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x