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Spouse acting like stranger, what should I do?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

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Salman Question by Salman on Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I got married to my ex gf in an arranged setup. I had a 7 year of relationship with her before breakup. My career switch try from private to govt job was the reason. When I failed I returned back to corporate. 3 years after the breakup her father who is a good friend of my father sent proposal which led to our marriage. No one knew that we dated. We never had a word between the acceptance and marriage. None of us initiated the conversation. When she came after marriage her behavior towards me in private is totally strange. We never had an emotional conversation. Neither we discuss romance nor intimacy. In private we hardly have any intellect discussions which was an eternal part before our breakup. But when she is in public she behaves like she cares for me a lot. She is a darling of everyone in the house whether my parents or siblings. Most of the time she remains with my mother and she has good bond. In front of her she cares for me a lot. She had this double faced attitude from the first day. Our intimacy is limited to my ask she could agree or disagree but she never initiated it. She was pretty passionate before our breakup which I never saw after our marriage. I tried everything but nothing has happened she never opened up. She disconnected with almost all our mutual friends after marriage. Whenever I tried through some of her friends she says to them I overthink a lot. Marriages and relationships differs. All useless and weird reasons. Everyone blames my teenage short temper issue. Which I have completely overcame when I started working. After marriage we had a boy. She says no for a next child for which I am fine. But the problem is now my child is growing and she has started understanding her hypocrisy. Now she blames me for teaching him wrong things. We hardly had fights as she walks out or I won't say word usually after she didn't answer for anything. I am unable to see the light in this relationship. She had 3 relationships in between but I never had one which I never discussed. Now I hardly ask for anything. Day by day we are becoming only room partners or fake couples in public. Everyone sees her as an ideal daughter in law or wife due to her public hypocrisy. Please guide.

Ans: Dear Salman,
I understand that marital issues take a huge toll on people. Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. I strongly suggest you seek professional help- you can either opt for personal counseling sessions to manage the distress caused by your partner's indifference, or the best approach is to convince your wife to go for marriage counseling with you. It would be good to get to the root of the matter; why is she behaving a certain way, where is this coming from, are there unresolved issues from when you dated? These questions will finally get an answer and you can work on them together. If she does not agree to go, tell her to do it for your child. No child should have to see their parents unhappy with each other.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, myself is 31 years old guy and I was in relationship with the women (collegue of mine in previous company) who is married and had 1 son and she is 9 years elder then me. Basically I was going through a tough time as I had breakup in 2017 and started drinking and smoking which usually everybody does after a heartbreak. In year 2019 she got to know about my drinking habits and she starting giving her time to me so that I stop all this things. She used to behind me to stop all these things but gradually after a year or so we started developing feelings for each other. We used to talk to a lot like almost we used to share everything and in year 2020 we got into relation and we proposed each other. Everything was fine till 2021. In year 2021 I went for a group picnic where my Ex was also present and my biggest mistake was that I didn't shared this thing with her but she got to know this from one of our common collegue who was also part of the picnic & after that disaster started in our life. She started doubting me that I am still in relation with my Ex but I was not there & continuously I have to prove myself that I don't have any feelings for my ex & I love you only. I was ready to do anything for her even just to surprise her I travel to her city where she went on vacation to her parents house. But unfortunately that was the last time we were together the moment I came to my hometown things started getting worse as she again started doubting me and in anger I just burst on her and after that she stopped talking and bcz of which I went into a depression and due to which I was completely mess was not able to do anything in my life except drinking. Now it has been 2 years that we don't talk except only on some occasion she calls or msg. Still I am having the same feeling for her which I had 3 years back & I need her back in my life. Please suggest me what should I do in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear you are facing such challenges in your life. Doubt and jealousy can ruin a relationship and your relationship is proof of that. While you might not have had bad intentions when you did not reveal your ex being present in the gathering with you, it is also understandable that your partner's trust suffered a crack which finally gave away completely. The thing to learn here is that open communication could have saved you all these sufferings. But that's all in the past. Right now you are separated from your partner and I assume she is not interested in getting back together. Your question should not be how to get her back, but rather how can I move on. Your job is not to convince her but to convince yourself that this is for the best. And it truly is; no relationship can survive in the shadows of doubt.

Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Understand that you made a tiny mistake but you tried your best to convince your partner of your loyalty to her; it did not work out but you are not to blame. Some things just don't, and your relationship was one of those things. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty for not disclosing the situation to your partner. You know you were not a cheater and it's no longer your job to convince her of that. Give yourself ample time to grieve the loss and accept that it's lost. Don't keep looking for ways to get back together or you will never move on. It will hurt in the beginning but it will get better soon. Once you feel better, go out and meet people. I am not saying your ex-partner wasn't great but trust me, there are more people out there, who are amazing; they will help you not just heal but also grow.

It's time to let go.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Money
I m 48 years old. Married with no kids. I have Pf of 12 lakhs, ppf of 15 lakhs, NPS 16 lakhs. MF 50 lakhs. Fd 5 lakhs. I live in metro. I have own house. When can I retire at the earliest?
Ans: You are 48 years old, married, with no children.

Your retirement savings include:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 12 lakhs

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakhs

National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 16 lakhs

Mutual Funds: Rs. 50 lakhs

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 5 lakhs

You own your home and live in a metro city.

This forms a solid foundation for early retirement planning.

Key Financial Goals to Consider
Retirement Corpus: Ensuring your savings last 35+ years post-retirement.

Lifestyle Expenses: Covering day-to-day costs in a metro city.

Healthcare: Planning for medical expenses beyond insurance coverage.

Inflation: Managing the rising cost of living over time.

Each goal will help us determine when you can retire comfortably.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
At 48, you are close to traditional retirement age.

Your current corpus totals Rs. 98 lakhs across investments.

Without kids, future expenses may be more predictable.

However, healthcare and inflation remain key concerns.

Let’s break down if your corpus is enough to retire early.

Estimating Retirement Expenses
Living in a metro city usually means higher expenses.

Consider daily costs, utilities, transportation, and leisure activities.

Don’t forget to factor in unexpected medical emergencies.

Estimate your current monthly expenses and adjust for inflation.

This helps identify the income needed post-retirement.

The Role of Inflation
Inflation reduces your money’s value over time.

Even with a modest rate, expenses double in 12-15 years.

Investments must outpace inflation to maintain your lifestyle.

Equity exposure helps achieve inflation-beating returns.

Ignoring inflation risks depleting your corpus too soon.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds (Rs. 50 lakhs): Offer growth potential for long-term needs.

NPS (Rs. 16 lakhs): Provides retirement-focused growth with tax benefits.

PPF (Rs. 15 lakhs): Safe, tax-free returns but limited liquidity.

PF (Rs. 12 lakhs): Offers stable, long-term growth.

FDs (Rs. 5 lakhs): Provides safety but low returns after tax.

A diversified mix, but needs optimization for early retirement.

Generating Regular Income After Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWPs offer regular payouts while keeping your investments growing.

Allocate part of your corpus to debt funds for stable income.

Equity investments continue to grow for long-term needs.

This strategy balances income and growth effectively.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio for Retirement
Shift gradually from high-risk to balanced investments.

Keep 60-70% in equity for long-term growth initially.

Allocate 30-40% to debt instruments for stability.

Review and adjust annually based on market conditions.

This approach reduces risks while maintaining growth.

Managing Fixed Deposits Wisely
Rs. 5 lakhs in FDs provides liquidity but low returns.

Consider shifting some to debt mutual funds for better returns.

Keep a portion as an emergency fund for quick access.

Avoid over-reliance on FDs, as they lose value against inflation.

Optimizing FDs enhances overall portfolio returns.

Planning for Healthcare Costs
Medical expenses rise sharply with age.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage.

Consider a top-up health policy for additional protection.

Build a dedicated health emergency fund.

Healthcare planning is critical, especially without employer coverage post-retirement.

Emergency Fund for Unexpected Expenses
Maintain an emergency fund covering 12-18 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.

This prevents the need to withdraw from long-term investments during crises.

Financial security comes from being prepared for the unexpected.

Tax Planning for Retirement
Post-retirement income will still be taxable.

SWP from mutual funds is tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Long-term capital gains on equity have favorable tax treatment.

Use senior citizen tax benefits once eligible.

Effective tax planning increases your net income.

Identifying the Earliest Retirement Age
Your corpus is close to Rs. 1 crore.

To retire now, this corpus must sustain for 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce lifestyle expenses for early retirement.

The earliest retirement age depends on your income needs and risk tolerance.

Strategies to Boost Your Retirement Corpus
Increase investments in growth-oriented mutual funds.

Maximize contributions to PPF and NPS for tax-free growth.

Reinvest returns from FDs into higher-yielding instruments.

Delay retirement by 2-3 years to strengthen your corpus.

Small changes today can make a big difference later.

Importance of Regular Portfolio Reviews
Review your financial plan annually.

Adjust for changes in expenses, income, or market conditions.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset mix.

Financial planning is a continuous process, not a one-time task.

Staying Disciplined with Your Investments
Avoid panic-selling during market fluctuations.

Stick to your long-term goals and investment strategy.

Don’t make emotional decisions based on short-term trends.

Discipline is the key to successful retirement planning.

Planning for Legacy and Estate
Create a will to specify how your assets will be distributed.

Appoint nominees for all your financial accounts.

Consider setting up a trust if needed for complex situations.

Estate planning ensures your wealth is managed as per your wishes.

Reducing Expenses for Early Retirement
Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced.

Focus on experiences rather than material possessions.

Optimize utility bills, subscriptions, and lifestyle costs.

Lower expenses mean less stress on your retirement corpus.

Diversification: Spreading Risk for Safety
Don’t put all your money in one type of investment.

Spread across equity, debt, and fixed-income instruments.

Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.

A well-diversified portfolio offers stability in all market conditions.

Managing Lifestyle Inflation
Lifestyle inflation increases expenses as income grows.

Post-retirement, control lifestyle costs to preserve wealth.

Focus on meaningful activities that don’t require high spending.

Smart lifestyle choices help stretch your retirement corpus.

Building Passive Income Streams
Explore passive income sources like dividends from mutual funds.

Rental income (if applicable) can supplement retirement income.

Passive income reduces dependence on your retirement corpus.

Multiple income streams provide financial security.

Finally
You’ve built a strong financial foundation with Rs. 98 lakhs in savings.

However, retiring immediately may strain your corpus over 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce expenses to make early retirement feasible.

Stay invested, review regularly, and focus on long-term goals.

This approach will secure a comfortable and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025
Money
I want guidance on retirement planning. Having corpus of 3 CR in mutual funds, shares and 1.5 CR savings in FD. With no bank loans and own home. Kids are in class 1 and class 5. I need to provide support for their education which might overall cost around 2 CR. Is my corpus enough to retire now and take care of cost of living. My age is 45 years. My monthly expense is around 1.5 lakhs. I have medical insurance policy of 20 lakhs.
Ans: You are 45 years old and considering retirement.

You have Rs. 3 crores in mutual funds and shares.

You hold Rs. 1.5 crores in fixed deposits.

You own your home, with no outstanding loans.

Your kids are in Class 1 and Class 5.

You estimate their education will cost around Rs. 2 crores.

Your monthly expense is Rs. 1.5 lakhs.

You have a medical insurance cover of Rs. 20 lakhs.

This is a strong financial base. Your savings reflect disciplined planning.

Key Financial Goals to Address
Retirement Corpus: Will your current corpus last for the next 35-40 years?

Children’s Education: Ensuring Rs. 2 crores for their future needs.

Healthcare: Covering medical costs beyond insurance.

Lifestyle Expenses: Maintaining your current lifestyle post-retirement.

We’ll assess if your current assets can cover all these goals.

Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
Your monthly expense is Rs. 1.5 lakhs, or Rs. 18 lakhs annually.

Over 35 years, considering inflation, this will grow significantly.

Your corpus must generate enough returns to cover rising expenses.

You’ll also need to manage emergencies without affecting your core investments.

Let’s break down how to achieve this.

Analyzing Your Corpus: Is It Enough?
Rs. 3 crores in mutual funds and shares provide growth potential.

Rs. 1.5 crores in FDs offer safety but lower returns.

Total corpus: Rs. 4.5 crores.

Deducting Rs. 2 crores for children’s education leaves Rs. 2.5 crores.

Can Rs. 2.5 crores sustain your lifestyle for 35+ years?

This depends on investment returns, inflation, and disciplined withdrawals.

Importance of Diversification and Asset Allocation
Balance between equity (growth) and debt (stability) is key.

Equity helps fight inflation with higher returns.

Debt provides stable income with lower risk.

A mix of both ensures steady growth and safety.

Review your current allocation and adjust if needed.

Generating Regular Income Post-Retirement
Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWP offers regular payouts while the remaining corpus keeps growing.

Keep a part of your corpus in debt funds for stable income.

Equity portion helps the corpus grow over time.

This strategy maintains liquidity and long-term growth.

Managing Fixed Deposits for Optimal Returns
Rs. 1.5 crores in FDs is safe but returns are low after tax.

Consider shifting a portion to debt mutual funds for better returns.

Debt funds are tax-efficient if held for more than three years.

Keep some FDs for emergencies, but don’t rely solely on them.

This improves returns while keeping your money secure.

Planning for Children’s Education
Rs. 2 crores needed for both children’s education.

Start dedicated SIPs in equity mutual funds for this goal.

Equity offers higher growth potential over 10-15 years.

For the older child, reduce equity exposure gradually as college nears.

For the younger child, maintain higher equity exposure for longer.

This ensures funds grow to meet rising education costs.

Protecting Against Health-Related Risks
You have Rs. 20 lakhs in health insurance, which is good.

Review the policy to ensure it covers major illnesses.

Consider a top-up health policy for additional coverage.

Keep an emergency health fund for out-of-pocket expenses.

Healthcare costs can rise unexpectedly, even with insurance.

Inflation: The Silent Risk
Inflation reduces the value of money over time.

Your expenses will likely double in 12-15 years.

Equity investments help beat inflation with higher returns.

Fixed-income investments alone won’t keep up with inflation.

Keep this in mind while planning your withdrawals.

Building an Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 12-18 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or savings accounts for easy access.

This fund prevents you from dipping into retirement corpus during crises.

Financial security isn’t just about growth; it’s about preparedness.

Risk Management Beyond Insurance
Life is unpredictable, even with the best plans.

Diversify investments to manage market risks.

Rebalance your portfolio regularly based on market conditions.

Avoid putting all money in one asset class.

Smart risk management keeps your finances stable during tough times.

Optimizing Tax Efficiency
Post-retirement, tax planning becomes crucial.

SWP from mutual funds offers tax efficiency compared to interest income.

Long-term capital gains from equity have tax benefits.

Use senior citizen tax benefits once eligible.

Efficient tax planning increases your real income.

Planning for Legacy and Estate
Create a will to distribute your assets as per your wishes.

Appoint nominees for all your investments.

Consider setting up a trust if needed for complex situations.

Estate planning ensures smooth transfer of wealth to your family.

Regular Review of Your Financial Plan
Review your financial plan at least once a year.

Adjust for changes in expenses, goals, or market conditions.

Rebalance your investments to maintain the right asset mix.

Financial planning is not a one-time task. It needs regular attention.

Staying Disciplined with Your Finances
Avoid unnecessary withdrawals from your corpus.

Don’t panic during market fluctuations.

Focus on long-term goals and stay invested.

Discipline is the key to successful retirement planning.

Final Insights
You’ve built a solid foundation with Rs. 4.5 crores in assets.

However, with Rs. 2 crores needed for education, the remaining corpus may fall short.

Consider working for a few more years to strengthen your corpus.

Alternatively, reduce lifestyle expenses to ease financial pressure.

Stay invested wisely, review regularly, and plan for the long term.

This approach will secure both your retirement and your children’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 38 years old, my home worth 1.5cr, fd 60L, gold of 20Li have two kids of 10&4 years, how I can plan for their education and my retirement at50 and my salary ll be one Lakh
Ans: Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You are 38 years old with a goal to retire at 50.

Your home is worth Rs. 1.5 crores.

You have Rs. 60 lakhs in fixed deposits.

You own Rs. 20 lakhs worth of gold.

Your monthly salary is Rs. 1 lakh.

You have two children aged 10 and 4.

Your focus is on education planning and retirement planning.

This is a strong starting point. You’ve managed your finances well so far.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Before planning, we need clarity on two major goals:

Children’s Education: Estimate costs for higher education. Costs are rising due to inflation.

Retirement at 50: You’ll need to maintain your lifestyle without active income.

These goals will guide your investment and savings strategy.

Estimating the Future Cost of Children’s Education
For your 10-year-old, higher education is about 8 years away.

For your 4-year-old, it's around 14 years away.

Considering inflation, education costs may double or even triple.

A professional degree might cost Rs. 30-50 lakhs in the future.

Plan with this in mind to avoid surprises later.

Planning for Retirement at 50
You plan to retire in 12 years.

After retirement, your expenses will continue for at least 30-35 years.

This requires a steady income without depending on a job.

You need a large corpus to support your lifestyle.

Managing Fixed Deposits Effectively
Rs. 60 lakhs in FDs is good, but FDs offer low returns after tax.

Inflation can reduce the real value of FD returns over time.

Gradually shift some FD amounts to mutual funds for better growth.

This ensures your money grows faster than inflation.

Gold as an Investment
Rs. 20 lakhs in gold adds diversification to your portfolio.

However, gold doesn’t provide regular income or high growth.

Consider keeping some gold for emergencies or gifting.

For wealth creation, focus more on financial instruments like mutual funds.

Building an Education Fund for Your Children
Start dedicated SIPs for both children in equity mutual funds.

Equity can provide higher returns over long periods.

For the 10-year-old, choose balanced funds to reduce risk as the goal nears.

For the 4-year-old, focus more on equity-oriented funds for higher growth.

Increase SIP amounts whenever your income rises.

Review and adjust the SIPs regularly.

Retirement Planning: Creating a Strong Corpus
Start SIPs dedicated to your retirement goal.

Focus on diversified equity mutual funds for growth.

Increase your SIPs yearly as your salary grows.

Invest any bonuses or extra income into these funds.

Closer to retirement, shift some funds to safer options like debt funds.

This reduces risk as you near retirement.

Insurance Planning for Risk Protection
Review your life insurance coverage.

Ensure you have enough cover to protect your family’s future.

Term insurance is cost-effective and provides high cover.

Also, have health insurance separate from your employer’s policy.

This ensures continuous coverage even after retirement.

Managing Expenses for Better Savings
Your salary is Rs. 1 lakh per month.

Track your expenses to identify saving opportunities.

Aim to save at least 30-40% of your income.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to increase your investment amount.

Small changes can lead to big savings over time.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Set aside 6-12 months of expenses as an emergency fund.

Keep this in a liquid fund or savings account for quick access.

This protects your investments from unexpected withdrawals.

An emergency fund provides financial security.

Surrendering LIC or Investment-Linked Insurance (If Applicable)
If you have LIC or ULIP policies, review their returns.

Such policies often offer low returns compared to mutual funds.

Consider surrendering them if they’re not beneficial.

Reinvest the amount in mutual funds for better growth.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner before making changes.

Tax Planning for Maximum Savings
Use Section 80C to save tax through PF, PPF, or ELSS mutual funds.

Invest in NPS for additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B).

Claim deductions for health insurance premiums under Section 80D.

Efficient tax planning increases your investable surplus.

How to Allocate Your Investments
Education Fund: Start SIPs based on each child’s education timeline.

Retirement Fund: Invest separately for retirement with a long-term focus.

Emergency Fund: Build and maintain this for unexpected needs.

Gold: Keep a portion but focus more on financial investments.

Diversification helps manage risk and improve returns.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Financial Plan
Review your financial plan yearly.

Adjust SIP amounts based on income changes.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right mix of equity and debt.

Regular reviews keep your goals on track.

Staying Disciplined with Investments
Avoid withdrawing from your investments unless it’s for the intended goal.

Don’t react to short-term market fluctuations.

Focus on long-term growth and stay invested.

Discipline is key to wealth creation.

Final Insights
You’ve built a solid financial base.

Focus on structured investments for your children’s education and your retirement.

Mutual funds through SIPs offer growth and flexibility.

Review your plan regularly and stay disciplined.

This approach will help you achieve financial freedom by 50.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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