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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 05, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dr. Madam My son,30 yr old, is MBA and serving MNC earning 25000 pm . He shows a very awkward behaviour , rude to family members, very adamant, careless, no charm for marriage and above all shows no responsibility. He takes everything as burden, curses peoples. Always remains fearful of his looks as his beard n hairs getting gray. We consult many psychiatrist but no result. Your suggestions please.

Ans: Your son's behavior, being rude, adamant, and showing little responsibility, coupled with his fear about his appearance, suggests he might be dealing with significant underlying issues such as depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition. The fact that psychiatric consultations haven't yielded results yet indicates that his situation might be complex and in need of a more nuanced approach.

It's essential to consider that sometimes, the right combination of therapeutic methods and practitioners takes time to find. A comprehensive evaluation by a multidisciplinary team could provide fresh insights. This team might include not only psychiatrists but also psychologists and possibly other specialists who can look at his situation from various angles.

Building a strong therapeutic alliance is crucial. The effectiveness of treatment often hinges on the quality of the relationship between the patient and the therapist. Encouraging your son to continue seeking a therapist he feels comfortable with might make a significant difference. It's not uncommon for people to try several therapists before finding the right fit.

Incorporating holistic approaches can also be beneficial. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can help with emotional regulation and stress management. Physical activities and maintaining a healthy diet can have positive effects on mental health. These approaches, combined with professional therapy, might help your son find more balance and relief.

Support groups can be incredibly valuable as well. They provide a space where individuals can share their experiences and feel understood. Encouraging your son to connect with others who face similar challenges can offer emotional support and practical advice, which might help him feel less isolated in his struggles.

It's clear that you care deeply for your son and want the best for him. Navigating this journey requires patience, persistence, and compassion—for both him and yourself. It's important to take care of your well-being too, as supporting a loved one with mental health challenges can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Seeking support for yourself, whether through therapy, support groups, or other resources, can equip you with the strength and resilience needed to continue being there for your son.

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Dr Aarti

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Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2023Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, my 19 year old son is suffering from extreme mental health issues. *. He is not interested in studies, says he cannot concentrate at all. *. He is always sleeping. *.Don't want to attain college classes but need attendance to avoid debarred list. *. Just want to go to college for modelling in college fashion shows & college fests. *. Want to spend life like an page 3 celebrity. *. Don't want to write exams but still worried that he cannot clear his graduation. *. Not at all respectful to his Mom. *. Always worried to enhance his looks. *. Needs expensive new clothes & beauty products. *. Doesn't understand value of money at all. *. Has nothing in his mind about his future. *. Cries very easily. *. Thinks he cannot do anything. *. 0% household help or support from his side. *. Always confused, nothing remembers. *. Doesn't like visiting our native place & talking to relatives. There are still to many issues. I don't understand what I should do? Please help.
Ans: Pre-frontal cortex is part of the brain which helps us make responsible decision making. It gets fully developed by 25 years of age. Yours is developed and functioning and your boy's is in the process. Have faith, you have brought him up and he will mirror your actions, your words, the tone of voice soon. Adolescence stage a teen is looking to showcase his self-esteem and identity. Dressing up, looking a certain way is part of the routine and they love adventure. My suggestions: 1. Listen and then respond. Talk of things he does at college, ask him his dreams, help him set one goal at a time and help him to achieve them if he needs help. 2. Make visiting the native place an adventure: let him plan the journey, the time, the food to carry the presents to give everyone there. Even cajole him that he would be able to make some reels there and share with all. 3. Ask for help: be a human who has emotional needs, gets tired, needs help to finish house work. Your child would be seeing you as an established adult, who manages everything, and then imagine you are asking for help from him to do things at home. 4. Career counselling and meeting people from different professions will clear his mind to choose what he loves. 5. Attending college: Ask him about his favourite subjects, what he finds easy and difficult. Peer support and sitting with friends to revise helps to attend college. do encourage that.
Show your boy you love him but also demand from your son that he is responsible for his world. He is an adult in the eyes of law and his actions has a consequences. Money matters can be solved by giving him a fixed amount to run his week. There is a balance between discipline and respect, treat him like a young adult and not a child. You are a good parent, be kind to yourself and meet your friends too. Do revert with the progress!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, my 19 year old son is suffering from extreme mental health issues. *. He is not interested in studies, says he cannot concentrate at all. *. He is always sleeping. *.Don't want to attain college classes but need attendance to avoid debarred list. *. Just want to go to college for modelling in college fashion shows & college fests. *. Want to spend life like an page 3 celebrity. *. Don't want to write exams but still worried that he cannot clear his graduation. *. Not at all respectful to his Mom. *. Always worried to enhance his looks. *. Needs expensive new clothes & beauty products. *. Doesn't understand value of money at all. *. Has nothing in his mind about his future. *. Cries very easily. *. Thinks he cannot do anything. *. 0% household help or support from his side. *. Always confused, nothing remembers. *. Doesn't like visiting our native place & talking to relatives. There are still to many issues. I don't understand what I should do? Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He seems to want to live in a place of alternate reality where the real life is wilfully blurred and a fantasy world plays out easily. This happens when the real world facts disturb him and stress him and escaping into that alternate reality feels reassuring and calming.
This can be addressed by setting up an appointment with a Clinical Psychologist who is skilled to work with teenagers. She/he will use various techniques to ease your son into the real world. Kindly act NOW. In the meantime, surround him with a lot of love and affection.
All the best!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, My son has secured a seat in CSE at PES University, RR Campus, Bengaluru based on his JEE PES ranking. His JEE Main rank is 39,257, and he has also been allotted AI & DS at IIIT Dharwad and IIIT Kalyani in the first three rounds of counselling. As per last year's CSAB data, he is likely to get CSE, AI & DS, or ECE in IIITs such as Dharwad, Raichur, Kottayam, Nagpur, and Bhubaneswar in the upcoming rounds. We are seeking your guidance on which would be the better option for him. If he opts for an IIIT, which one among these within his expected range would you recommend as the best choice?
Ans: Prashant Sir, PES University’s Ring Road Campus CSE program is NBA- and NAAC-accredited, taught by PhD-qualified faculty, and supported by advanced computing, AI/ML, and networking labs. It recorded an 82.97% placement rate in 2023 with a median package of ?8 LPA and an average of ?8 LPA–?12 LPA, engaging 350+ recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Cisco, and Cisco. Among IIITs in your son’s rank range, IIIT Nagpur leads with an 88.5% placement rate, average package ?13.11 LPA, median ?11 LPA, and participation from 200+ recruiters like Adobe and Accenture. IIIT Kalyani follows with an 89.33% placement rate and average package ?10.72 LPA. IIIT Dharwad has a 66%–78% placement rate, average ?10 LPA, and strong industry tie-ups via its Career Guidance Cell. IIIT Kottayam achieved an 83% placement rate in 2024, average ?12.66 LPA with 86 recruiters including Bosch and Infosys. IIIT Bhubaneswar reports a 79% placement rate, CSE average package ?9 LPA and median ?10 LPA across 42 recruiters like Amazon and Capgemini. IIIT Raichur’s emerging 68.8% placement rate with average ?18 LPA and median ?15 LPA positions it as a growing option. All IIITs are Institutes of National Importance, offering robust labs, research centers, student clubs, and industry internships under PPP models.

Final Recommendation: Select IIIT Nagpur CSE for its superior 88.5% placement rate, ?13.11 LPA average package, and diversified recruiter pool. Next, consider IIIT Kalyani CSE & DS for its 89.33% placements and solid PPP backing. Third is IIIT Dharwad CSE, offering a balanced ?10 LPA average, followed by IIIT Kottayam AI & DS for ?12.66 LPA average. Choose PES University CSE only if private-university infrastructure and near-100% placements outweigh the specialized focus of IIITs; IIIT Bhubaneswar CSE and IIIT Raichur CSE serve as reliable backups. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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