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How can I help my lazy and unmotivated 19-year-old son?

Pradeep

Pradeep Pramanik  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Career And Placement Consultant - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Pradeep Pramanik is a career coach, placement consultant and director at Fast Track Career Consultants, which provides career counselling, soft skills training and placement consultancy services.
Pradeep, who hails from Bhagalpur in Bihar, has worked in the pharmaceutical industry for 15 years in sales, marketing, training and product management roles in companies like Lupin Pharmaceuticals, Elder Pharmaceuticals and Ranbaxy Laboratories.
During his tenure in the pharma industry, he has worked in different states including Bihar, Jharkhand, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and West Bengal.
In 1998, he launched Fast Track Career Consultants with the aim of helping youngsters find jobs through the right career counselling, training and placement services.
They also offer HR analysis and appraisal services.
Over the years, he has been invited by management and engineering institutions to discuss education and employment policies, entrepreneurship, soft skills and emerging careers in India.
He has published four books on career counselling and contributed articles to print publications.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Career

My son is 19 years of age.He is very lazy and interested only in mobile and computer games.He has appeared for 12th board this year,but has not worked hard at all in studies or career.He wastes his time in mobile only and is very stubborn and misbehaved child.I would love to to get him treated but he never listen to whatever we say.He is not at all social also and has no friends.We are tired dealing with him.Suggest something please.

Ans: Dear Parent , I could feel pain from your message . There are many such c ases where children are addicted to Mobile for games or watching videos of no use. In fact scientists compare mobile addiction with Opium like addiction where users stay on mobile for as long as 15-20 hrs a day. Why don't you ask him for getting into development of Mobile apps by learning coding ..? Or even ethical Hacking if you are sure he is not getting not wrong direction. Or in worst case , get him into some businesses like Selling Mobile and its accessaries. He needs to use his negative qualities into positive strengths through soft counselling only.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Relationship
Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |298 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

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Relationship
Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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