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I'm struggling with mental health issues after my father's passing and a toxic work environment. Can I find peace without leaving my job or family?

Kanchan Rai |365 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi

HI, I am don't want to disclose name I am facing some mental issue from last two year. In March my father passed I have not good relation with my parent, because their exception are very high which is not possible for me to satisfied. So after my father my mother start daily fight with me for small small thing, my mother has long history of mental issue, and my father did not address that . Now she want to what she did with my father. Due to daily quarrel my daily day to activity got affected. I can’t concentrate on my self. My confidence is loosing. I want to be alone and in peace. I have loving wife and caring son, but still I feel lost. And after covid my office atmosphere also get dirty. My senior keep me irritating without any issue. I know my problem is my mother and second is my office boss. Is there is any way without leaving to them. Otherwise, I am determined to leave both of them and live my life peacefully. Please advice

Ans: First, regarding your mother, it’s crucial to establish boundaries. Her mental health struggles are serious, but they shouldn’t be allowed to overshadow your own well-being. It might be helpful to seek professional support for her, such as counseling or therapy. If she’s unwilling, then finding ways to distance yourself emotionally from her criticism is key. It's not easy, but learning not to absorb her negativity can help protect your mental health. You might also consider speaking to a counselor yourself to help you process these feelings and find strategies for coping with her behavior without having to completely sever ties.

As for your work situation, it sounds like the toxic environment is wearing you down. If leaving isn’t an immediate option, try to find small ways to shield yourself from the negativity. Can you limit your interactions with your senior or find ways to compartmentalize work stress so it doesn’t bleed into your personal life? Sometimes, focusing on things outside of work—hobbies, time with your wife and son—can provide a needed escape.

It sounds like you're craving solitude and peace, and while leaving both your mother and your job might seem like a solution, it may not be the only one. Start with small, manageable changes: establishing firmer boundaries with your mother, finding a counselor to talk to, and protecting your emotional space at work. These steps can help you regain control and give you the peace you're seeking without drastic decisions. Remember, you deserve that peace, and it’s possible to find it with the right support.